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American Homemaker
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Kim Loomis is a social media star, homemaker and mortician. With her husband Norman, they’ve been bringing in a dark harvest. But death is an infrequent visitor to a small town, and when they struggle to meet demand, Kim decides there is a profitable alternative. Except Norman doesn’t want any part of his wife’s horrific plans. He wants to leave Kim, but no one leaves Amer
...more
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Five Subversive Stars and Five Inch Louboutin Stilettos (with Five Stars on the Heels!)
Where do I begin with this book?
I purchased it knowing the risk. As a squeamish sort eschewing bloodshed, I had no business reading it based on reviews reporting shocking gruesomeness.
Yet, the unique premise called out to me and I was swayed by the sly, situational humor. How could I resist a mortician housewife moonlighting in "parts"?
The dichotomy between bizarre and normal is brilliantly illustrated at a ...more
Where do I begin with this book?
I purchased it knowing the risk. As a squeamish sort eschewing bloodshed, I had no business reading it based on reviews reporting shocking gruesomeness.
Yet, the unique premise called out to me and I was swayed by the sly, situational humor. How could I resist a mortician housewife moonlighting in "parts"?
The dichotomy between bizarre and normal is brilliantly illustrated at a ...more
BookishFirst gave me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was terrifying, gruesome, and insane all wrapped up together. I did not want to put this book down at all, but at some points I was either so queasy with what was happening, or I had chills and got freaked out. Definitely had to stop reading this at night. American Homemaker, you guessed it, follows a young woman who is an American Homemaker, on the outside she is a perfect wife, a perfect friend, and a social media star. From the ...more
This was terrifying, gruesome, and insane all wrapped up together. I did not want to put this book down at all, but at some points I was either so queasy with what was happening, or I had chills and got freaked out. Definitely had to stop reading this at night. American Homemaker, you guessed it, follows a young woman who is an American Homemaker, on the outside she is a perfect wife, a perfect friend, and a social media star. From the ...more
DNF. A bunch of crazy people doing bad stuff. Too many people. I couldn't follow it.
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review on Goodreads. ...more
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review on Goodreads. ...more
This book was very dark. It was definitely a thriller that kept me on the edge. There was also a lot of death. Do not read this book if you get squeamish. The first chapter starts out with a trio of women at a homemaker's meeting. You can tell that the women have some petty disputes and don't all like each other. In the second chapter a woman is a contract killer. One might not think that either of these chapters are connected but they are.
I did not love this book because of how horrific some ...more
I did not love this book because of how horrific some ...more
I liked this book's plot points: the foster kid who grew up jaded but with a heart of a gold and becomes a killer; the husband and wife mortician duo who supplement their income in nefarious ways, one of which reluctantly; the teenagers who have no idea of the evil that exists in this world; and the housewives who think the sun rises and sets with their towel folds. It's a fun read, and a nice escape. Personally, I prefer very dark, haunting reads, so this book hits my sweet spot in many ways.
I ...more
I ...more
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book, but I wasn't disappointed. The way it is told in multiple point of views had my heart racing at times. On the same page, we had back-to-back point of views of the same scene. I don't think I've ever read something like that, just so unique and definitely had me at the edge of my seat!
The plot just grips you and takes you on an intense journey with insane plot twists. I didn't see quite a few of them coming, just took me by surprise.
This was a bit gr ...more
The plot just grips you and takes you on an intense journey with insane plot twists. I didn't see quite a few of them coming, just took me by surprise.
This was a bit gr ...more
This noir book is a little like Martha Stewart meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith! Kim and Norman are married morticians with a side business that is described as a "dark harvest." But on the surface, Kim is the all-American homemaker with Youtube videos that have all the women (but one who is out to get her) fawning over her advice how to clean microwaves and toilets. There's also a female assassin whose story ties in at the end, as well as two young neighbor boys--one who goes missing--and the other det ...more
Let's start with the obvious; I love gruesome books. The more details about terrible, horrendous things, the more likely it is that I am going to like a book. With that said, I also have to emphasize that I like gruesome only when it is used well and not just for shock value. In the case of this book it rides that line very, very closely.
This thriller follows not one, but two female serial killers, one is a social media darling and the other, is, well, not. The thing is, Kim is really unlikable ...more
This thriller follows not one, but two female serial killers, one is a social media darling and the other, is, well, not. The thing is, Kim is really unlikable ...more
Jul 23, 2019
Jacqueline (Fall In Love With The Sound of Words)
rated it
liked it
Shelves:
arcs-galleys-giveaways,
thriller-mystery-cozy
I received this novel for free from BookishFirst and the author in exchange for an honest review.
The first half of this book was really good. It was thrilling, and gruesome, pretty wild from the very beginning. I don't recommend if you are even a little squeamish! The characters are unlikable, but in a way that makes them intriguing. The narration was a bit stilted, but I think that is beacause you get so many POVs. The plot was great, up until about halfway through.
By the middle of the book I w ...more
The first half of this book was really good. It was thrilling, and gruesome, pretty wild from the very beginning. I don't recommend if you are even a little squeamish! The characters are unlikable, but in a way that makes them intriguing. The narration was a bit stilted, but I think that is beacause you get so many POVs. The plot was great, up until about halfway through.
By the middle of the book I w ...more
American Homemaker by John Kaine. With two female serial killers at the center of the book (Kim a homemaker/mortician and Melody, a hired assassin), the author skillfully depicts the contrast of strange and normal with dark humor, unique plot twists and non stop action. The story is quirky and grisly (not for the faint of heart) and it hooks you into taking an intense journey. Very entertaining read and truly something different.
Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportun ...more
Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportun ...more
Desperate Housewives meets American Horror Story!
Kim Loomis: American homemaker, social media star, and mortician (alongside her husband, Norman). Unfortunately for Kim, people in her small town just aren't dying quickly enough, so she needs to get...creative.
Melody Morgan: Contract killer on the brink of retirement, or so she thinks. She mistakenly kills a cartel's money man (oops) and is dealing with the fallout.
These are very broad strokes, so as not to spoil anything. There's so much more go ...more
Kim Loomis: American homemaker, social media star, and mortician (alongside her husband, Norman). Unfortunately for Kim, people in her small town just aren't dying quickly enough, so she needs to get...creative.
Melody Morgan: Contract killer on the brink of retirement, or so she thinks. She mistakenly kills a cartel's money man (oops) and is dealing with the fallout.
These are very broad strokes, so as not to spoil anything. There's so much more go ...more
Fantastic thriller. I finished this book in a matter of days. I was reading another one concurrently or I would have finished sooner. The basic premise is a married couple are running a funeral home in a small town. The wife is selling “parts” off the dead bodies to make more money because there’s money in those parts and she’s, to put it bluntly, a stone cold killer. There’s a lot more money in black market organs though, so I’m sure you can see where this is going. Then a kid goes missing. Her
...more
So, one word to describe this book is WOW! First, you have Kim, she's popular on social media and in her circles for being a perfect homemaker who has a day job as a mortician with her husband Norman. Brooke and Paige are avid followers who would do anything to be in her good graces and then there's Megan. She knows Kim isn't perfect and would love nothing more than to find out what's really going on with Kim. Kim is hiding lots of secrets. Like how she really makes so much money, since being a
...more
American Homemaker was definitely one of those books that caught me by surprise in how good it was. Kim is our shining star, who seems to have it all, and mostly does. She’s a force to be reckoned with, but she’s hiding something. Something that could bring her world and entire “empire,” for lack of a better word, crashing down. Kim and her husband have paved their own way in the world, but falling on hard times, Kim finds a way. The trouble is, her husband wants out. But how do you leave a woma
...more
Holy cow! What an unexpected and shocking psychological thriller.
Kim Loomis' goals as America's homemaker are high and she won't let anyone get in her way. As self-appointed president of the new Homemakers Association of Vermont (HAV) and social media sensation, she is taking the vocation of homemaker by storm, but not everyone trusts her sincerity. In fact, there is something sinister about a homemaker who's also a mortician.
Melody Morgan is on the verge of retirement with a sizeable nest egg ...more
Kim Loomis' goals as America's homemaker are high and she won't let anyone get in her way. As self-appointed president of the new Homemakers Association of Vermont (HAV) and social media sensation, she is taking the vocation of homemaker by storm, but not everyone trusts her sincerity. In fact, there is something sinister about a homemaker who's also a mortician.
Melody Morgan is on the verge of retirement with a sizeable nest egg ...more
I won this book from Bookish First.
I enjoyed this book. It is not the kind of book that you can take too seriously, because it's just so over the top. The main characters are Kim and Melody. Kim is a homemaker and mortician married to Norman, who is also a mortician. Melody is a hitwoman moonlighting as a cleaning lady.
But this book turns things on their head, because Kim is not what she seems to be, and things start going south really fast. This book moves quickly, with short chapters that ke ...more
I enjoyed this book. It is not the kind of book that you can take too seriously, because it's just so over the top. The main characters are Kim and Melody. Kim is a homemaker and mortician married to Norman, who is also a mortician. Melody is a hitwoman moonlighting as a cleaning lady.
But this book turns things on their head, because Kim is not what she seems to be, and things start going south really fast. This book moves quickly, with short chapters that ke ...more
I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this new book sent by NetGalley and author John Kaine. I mean. a husband and wife morticians who own a funeral home, sounds simple enough, right? The wife wants to be the best American Homemaker, sharing how she takes care of home and husband with other women who want to be the best homemaker they can be. On the side she is selling body parts on the black market to bring in enough money to live the lifestyle she portrays to others. Then we meet an assa
...more
Jul 03, 2019
Alexis Mills *from the heart of a bibliophile lair*
rated it
it was amazing
Recommends it for:
Everyone
Okay wow I wasn't sure how much I would like this book but dam it's flipping good. Kept me in. Blurb sounded good so it drew me into it. Then I read the sample and was like oh wow okay I need more lol. I love the fact the cover is simple but it shows what the book is about. Five star book. Couldn't out it down at all. Loved it. I may end up rereading it but other than that I think others would love or like this book but I understand it's not for everyone. But I liked this book. I want more. I ha
...more
Wow, this book was so amazing. It would make the best scary movie. It was so dark. Talk about some messed up people in the world. The author is so gifted at bringing building a world and twisted characters. He really brought feelings out in me as I read. And I love the cover. I kept wanting it to have some supernatural creature in it, but I guess humans who are psychopaths are more scary than vampires and the like. I’m surprised all the killings went on for as long as they did without questions
...more
I was immediately sucked in to this story, leaving me on the edge of my seat THE ENTIRE BOOK. American Homemaker deserves EVERY SINGLE star that I'm giving it. An absolute turn-the-page and turn-your-stomach thriller with incredible plot twists. Character development was amazing - I found myself loathing Kim, Brooke and Paige, while rooting for (and crying for) Norman, Evan and Corey. So many emotions in one book!!
...more
An absolutely stunning tale of greed and murder! Not only was the plot intelligent, but the dirty deeds by multiple hands were diabolically wicked. I read voraciously, but rarely do I feel as though (as so many readers claim) "I couldn't put it down". It was true with this book; hated to see it end, but was satisfied with the wrap-up. This is an amazing book and comes with my very high recommendation. 5+ stars!
...more
Wow!! Incredible read!! The characters are well written and come to life instantly. The plot has so many subplots with twists and turns that you just never see anything coming and wait in the edge of your seat for every new development. This book would make a great mini series or movie!!
Thank you NetGalley and John Kaine for this advanced reader edition and hearing my honest review. Looking forward to reading more with you
#partners
Thank you NetGalley and John Kaine for this advanced reader edition and hearing my honest review. Looking forward to reading more with you
#partners
WOW!
I don't write enough reviews however I had to write one for this. Without giving any spoilers this books was amazing! By the title and summary I didn't know what to really expect! Definitely a story within a story. It has been a while since I have read a horror story this well written and for that I am grateful. You will not be disappointed. ...more
I don't write enough reviews however I had to write one for this. Without giving any spoilers this books was amazing! By the title and summary I didn't know what to really expect! Definitely a story within a story. It has been a while since I have read a horror story this well written and for that I am grateful. You will not be disappointed. ...more
Short Take: Finally! Proof that a messy house is a sign of a healthy psyche.
Hello, my duckies, from the land of Finally Fall! The leaves aren’t quite ready to change, but the temperature is finally below “the air is lava” and you guys know what that means, right? Halloween is coming, and I for one am all about horror movie marathons and shamelessly exploiting my adorable progeny for lots and lots of candy.
Speaking of shamelessly exploiting people, let me introduce you to American Homemaker.
Kim L ...more
Hello, my duckies, from the land of Finally Fall! The leaves aren’t quite ready to change, but the temperature is finally below “the air is lava” and you guys know what that means, right? Halloween is coming, and I for one am all about horror movie marathons and shamelessly exploiting my adorable progeny for lots and lots of candy.
Speaking of shamelessly exploiting people, let me introduce you to American Homemaker.
Kim L ...more
Kim Loomis is a psychopath. On the exterior she is poised and wholesome. She makes it her mission to elevate American Homemakers everywhere. She holds meetings at her home for a select few, where she presides over topics of discussion such as the best way to clean your bathtub beneath a mammoth gilt-framed portrait of Martha Stewart, wearing her best designer dresses. But Kim is dark and terrible. She has secrets that would make the rest of us run in terror, but to Kim, she's just doing what nee
...more
Stepford wives Meet C.S.I. It is readily apparent that the women who have gathered together in the book’s opening scene are more competitive than friendly, and their façade of perfection goes downhill quickly from there. Think Stepford Wivesmeets C.S.I.or American Greed television show. Part of what makes this thriller mystery so scary is the true investigative reports of the black market for human organs and tissue. This book is also realistic in the various issues- social media stars, foster
...more
Don't be mislead by the gathering of women in the opening chapter discussing helps and hints at homemaking. Their catty and snarky comments do play a factor in the story, but this is not your typical story of women homemakers. Death and murder play a much stronger role in this story than homemaking.
I confess that I had trouble with this book. First, I couldn't make up my mind if it was intended to be a serious thriller or a parody of one. The tongue-in-cheek humor along the way got in the way of ...more
I confess that I had trouble with this book. First, I couldn't make up my mind if it was intended to be a serious thriller or a parody of one. The tongue-in-cheek humor along the way got in the way of ...more
“Kim Loomis is a social media star, homemaker and mortician. With her husband Norman, they’ve been bringing in a dark harvest. But death is an infrequent visitor to a small town, and when they struggle to meet demand, Kim decides there is a profitable alternative. Except Norman doesn’t want any part of his wife’s horrific plans. He wants to leave Kim, but no one leaves America’s homemaker.
It was plain sailing for assassin Melody Morgan until she executes a drug cartel’s bagman. Hunted by highly ...more
It was plain sailing for assassin Melody Morgan until she executes a drug cartel’s bagman. Hunted by highly ...more
Thanks to the author for the free ebook copy in exchange for my honest review
I feel like I always need to start these reviews with the disclaimer that 3 stars is not a bad thing. I really enjoyed parts of this book and there were a few things that didn’t really work for me as a reader. I still would highly recommend this to thriller fans and those that love a gory serial killer read – with not one, but TWO female killers.
One thing I loved about this book was having the killers both be women. The ...more
I feel like I always need to start these reviews with the disclaimer that 3 stars is not a bad thing. I really enjoyed parts of this book and there were a few things that didn’t really work for me as a reader. I still would highly recommend this to thriller fans and those that love a gory serial killer read – with not one, but TWO female killers.
One thing I loved about this book was having the killers both be women. The ...more
This book deserves all five of these ridiculously well-earned stars.
What a messed up book. And I say that with the utmost respect for what John Kaine did here. I'm not easily affected by gruesome books, but my god, my heart was hammering. I had to put it down, read a few chapters of a another book, pick it back up, take a break, go for a walk, think happy thoughts, pick it back up. It was intoxicating and addicting and I absolutely loved it.
There were a lot of characters in this book and I feel ...more
What a messed up book. And I say that with the utmost respect for what John Kaine did here. I'm not easily affected by gruesome books, but my god, my heart was hammering. I had to put it down, read a few chapters of a another book, pick it back up, take a break, go for a walk, think happy thoughts, pick it back up. It was intoxicating and addicting and I absolutely loved it.
There were a lot of characters in this book and I feel ...more
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