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Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?
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Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?

3.95  ·  Rating details ·  99 ratings  ·  11 reviews
As the coronavirus pandemic changes the way we live and work, partners may be spending more time together, warts and all. This book can help couples anticipate and approach occasional or chronic conflict with compassion and creativity.

This classic text for couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships explores the delicate balance
Paperback, Second Edition, 288 pages
Published February 15th 2002 by Hazelden Publishing (first published January 1st 1983)
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Nov 08, 2013 rated it really liked it
I'm reading this book with the intent to avoid a stormy and tempestuous relationship. I'd rather get along, and work out conflicts in a constructive manner through exploration, rather than protection and becoming defensive and belligerent. I'm just trying to improve my relationship, so that it is more loving and rewarding.
SmilesAlot Donaldson
Jul 19, 2019 marked it as to-read
I've started it but other books came in. Just have to oeek into these others. SHOOT, theres only so much summer. Probly gonna buy this one, it started off very good.
Kit Fox
Jan 28, 2016 rated it it was ok
Shelves: booklist-2009
This book was recommended some time ago, and it occurred to me that it might be useful to read it in order to better support a few people close to me. I was expecting an exploration of communication and compromise within relationships, and how that could lead to the erosion of self.

Instead, I got a bunch of self-congratulatory tripe reminiscent of the Fear<--->Love dichotomy from Donnie Darko - unproven assertions, repetition in place of research, weasel words to rival the Reverse Therapy book
Sep 23, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This one really clicked with me.

I prefer a "how to know each other better" approach, rather than the seemingly more common "this is the way you should be" approach.

It is a fairly simple concept, just a different way of looking at things that opens up a more or less limitless exploration of myself and my wife's thought processes, reasons for doing things, etc.

The main concept I took away is to choose to set aside judgment on acts, thoughts, reactions, etc., and instead assume that I and the othe
Jan 13, 2017 rated it really liked it
I don't know how effective the strategies in this book are, but they at least initially, mostly resounded with me. The theory seems to be to accept that sometimes we will have childish emotions and to overcome our anger, withdrawal, criticism, and other behaviors to understand where our pain comes from. We need to accept pain, but let our spouse do what they want and hope (without demanding) that they will voluntarily change for the better. Don't know if it's effective and sometimes seems like t ...more
Jul 19, 2008 added it
I'm learning to accept myself for who I am and not change for my future signifigant other but try to figure out why she and I do the things we do.
Sep 11, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was the book that was the first step to reclaiming my identity as a woman and to saving my marriage. Highly recommend it.
Mar 01, 2009 rated it it was amazing
I have learned about my self what makes me made and why it makes me mad. I need to explore our conflicts instead of protect myself
Oct 21, 2012 rated it really liked it

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