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The Baby Jesus Butt Plug
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The Baby Jesus Butt Plug

3.54  ·  Rating details ·  750 Ratings  ·  78 Reviews
Step into a dark and absurd where human beings are slaves to corporations, people are photocopied instead of born, and the baby jesus is a very popular anal probe.
Paperback, 96 pages
Published February 23rd 2004 by Eraserhead Press (first published 2004)
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Mar 22, 2007 rated it it was ok
Eh. I'm copying what I wrote from my blog:

I finally received and read "The Baby Jesus Butt Plug: A Fairy Tale" by Carlton Mellick III. It's pretty short, with illustrations, and the type is huge, so it took about 30-40 minutes to finish.

This is the first book I've read by Carlton Mellick III, so I wasn't prepared for the fact that he's a freak. He has a lot of crazy concepts which were interesting, and the artwork was simple, but effective. I loved his symbolic expression of the office environm
Adam Floridia
Catchy title, right? Another, equally eye-catching, title by the same author caught my attention. I began looking at his output and reading short little descriptions of each book and learned all about this new "Bizarro" genre of literature. Very intrigued, I almost ordered four books to get a flavor of it: one was all I needed.

This is awful. Pure shit. I'm not offended by grotesqueries, sacrilege, or foul language of any kind (I just gave Steve-O's autobiography 4 stars): I am offended by the pr
Feb 25, 2010 rated it really liked it
this is so hilarious!! can't believe i waited so long to read Mellick's work cause i thought it sounded to sexually oriented for my tastes. It is but in such a funny way- it is unlike anything i've EVER read. I got it in the mail and me and my boyfriend were laughing at the title and ended up reading the first 2 chapters aloud right then, laughing so hard my stomach hurt. This is, by a landslide, the funniest book i've come across. Can't wait to read more from him! Just thinking about this book ...more
Althea J.
Feb 20, 2015 added it
Shelves: bizarro-wtf
You know how some people write in their reviews, "wtf did I just read?"

I'm not exaggerating for comedic effect -- I have no idea what I just read. Was it a fever dream that someone published? It certainly had a dream quality where you couldn't quite nail down what was happening or why.

I was all-in and preparing to love this book going in: I mean, the title is fantastically absurd and promises a reading experience that's twisted and perverse and like nothing the reader has ever read before. Meh.
Jan 28, 2013 rated it really liked it
Wow. This one is definitely not for the squeamish. This is my first experience with a full length Mellick (arguable since this one started out as a chapbook), having only read one of his shorts before, and I still think I'm getting over the shock. However, as over the top as it is, I can definitely recognize that this is some good writing. I've never seen anything quite like it. I'd say that it pushes boundaries, but that would be such an understatement that I won't even bother (other than how I ...more
Steve Lowe
Apr 16, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro
I'm going to qualify this review a bit: this is my first exposure to Carlton Mellick III, so I can't compare this book to any of his other work. And I'm happy about that. I've read most of the reviews posted on Goodreads and Amazon for The Baby Jesus Butt Plug and there are several comments about CM3's other work being better, or people didn't like this one as much as (fill in the blank). For me, that means I've got a lot to look forward to, I guess, because I really like this one.

One other thin
Jan 17, 2009 rated it really liked it
Calrton Mellick III is one of the leading authors in the relatively new Bizarro genre, a genre that concentrates on weirdness and surrealism. Baby Jesus Butt Plug is the first "novel" I have read in this genre (90 pages of large print and illustrations, intended to reflect the book's pitch as an "adult fairy tale"), and when I ordered it I had no idea what to expect. But hell, who can resist a title like that?

The story, inspired by a real sex toy, reads like a mix of dreamscape, nightmare, and a
Dec 26, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: g-bizarro, x-adult
for the first time in my history with cm3, i thought one of his novellas was boring. this is the first thing i've read of his that just didn't feel natural. the world building was there but it was subtle and weak, which even in the shortest of his short stories, is usually not the kind of problem that i have with him. the characters were so-so, kind of bland. a lot of the "plot" felt like it was written with the solitary intention of being shocking, which sort of makes sense considering that it' ...more
Apr 07, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be. The butt plug that is a clone of the baby Jesus is only half the story; Its retarded toilet humor is only the icing on a surreal and paranoid cake.
Nov 26, 2007 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro
never ever buy a baby jesus butt plug...

...they turn on you
Dec 24, 2017 rated it it was ok
A mildly amusing fairy tale with a most excellent title and some disturbing illustrations.
Cheryl Anne Gardner
May 04, 2010 rated it really liked it
I can't really write a long drawn out review for this book simply because it is a short Aesop's sort of fairy tale, illustrated and all. However, if you have no aversion to worlds where children are extinct, adults are photocopied into existence as adults, and everyone works mindless drone jobs at huge corporations in a viscous cycle of slave the day away and then spend your money on food, useless possessions, or pet babies -- because that is all the satisfaction you are going to get in life, an ...more
Peter Derk
Oct 20, 2014 rated it liked it
You might notice I just reviewed another title called 'The Faggiest Vampire.' Now we've got 'The Baby Jesus Butt Plug.'

So there's this section of Powells in Portland that I always feel calling to me from across the continent. It's one set of shelves, all small press, and a lot of it pretty weird. There's the zine-y stuff like 'On Subbing' or the beautiful weirdness of Trinie Dalton. And there's also a big gob of Bizarro.

What's Bizarro?

Rose O'Keefe from Eraserhead Press calls it the book version
Luke Harris
May 22, 2012 rated it did not like it
I read this book on a whim, thinking I should give it a chance and since I had nothing else to read that day. It oversells itself. It is by no means an "odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family." To be any of those things it would have to have some semblance of narrative, not a random selection of loosely connected chapters. And it would have to be more than 20 pages in length for another thing.

For the most part, it book i
May 22, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: festa
Wer DIE KANNIBALEN VON CANDYLAND und ULTRA FUCKERS kennt, weiß, dass Carlton Mellick III besonders ist. Einzigartig. Abgedreht. Freakig. Bizarr.
Und so ist auch das Genre, welcher er bedient: Bizarro Fiction. Und mit DER BABY-JESUS-ANAL-PLUG hält der Leser ein wahrlich bizarres Werk in den Händen.

Auf 220 gelben Seiten finden wir sechs Kurzgeschichten von Mellick III vor. Die Längste hat knapp 100 Seiten – die Kürzeste um die 10.
Da ich nicht spoilern will, möchte ich gar nicht so auf die einzelne
Feb 21, 2012 rated it did not like it
This book showed up on Amazon's "People who enjoyed this..." list, and for the sheer vulgar, absurd novelty, I decided to check it out. On the surface, it looks like a book that will throw out a bunch of gross, vulgar, potentially offensive weirdness just for the sake of it. But the Amazon reviewers insisted that, no, it wasn't that sort of book, that it had some great social satire. And it was only a few bucks, so I decided to read it.

Well, it pretty much is that sort of book after all. There a
Jan 23, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro
Mellick makes me laugh. The half I understand, anyway.

Plus, I like books that make me think. In this case I was thinking, "What the heck is a butt plug?" One of my daughter's best friend's filled me in. Now I have something to bring to the conversation when I go out to lunch with my old lady friends. Butt plug for the win.

About the book...
Trent Haaga says about the book: "This a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of
Mar 04, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bizarro
If your looking to be offended by The Baby Jesus Butt Plug I don't know what to tell you. If anything, this book is only offensive to people who see the title but once you actually read the book you'll see that there's nothing all that offensive about it. This is a surreal book that is way more than what people think it is. It's a brilliant little novella that elevates Mellick into bizarro legend status. He knows how to craft a solid story around surreal events and if the idea of putting a baby ...more
Jun 10, 2008 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: the clinically insane
Shelves: total-waste
What a total waste of paper, ink, and my time! This "book" reads as if it were written by a group of adolescent boys. The author's childish obsession with violence and sex has no redeeming value! The reviews I read before making the purchase were way off base. I will certainly be ignoring the recommendations of the individual who suggested I would enjoy this piece of trash.
John Bruni
Apr 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Pure mad bizarro genius from the master of the genre. It starts out with a savage, gross premise, then moves through a Tool video and finally ends up in an odd, sad story of loss and hope. Plus, there are pictures. In case you, you know, want to read it to your kid.
Christopher Wilde
Apr 28, 2016 rated it liked it
Surreal, strange, and hard to put down. This short walk through the mind of Mellick was far more entertaining than I ever expected. I don't know that I'd rush out to buy it, but if you see a copy lying around you should definitely sit down and plough through it.
May 20, 2007 rated it liked it
Strange book, but then again you'll probably guess that from the title. It's an entertaining read that you'll probably be able to easily get through in a single sitting
David Barbee
Nov 19, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I'll never look at my butt-plug the same way.
Christy Stewart
Has anyone seen those Obama butt plugs? Yeek.
Caroline Kopko
Jul 12, 2017 rated it liked it
A little silly but I like the general spirit of it. The dialog in the beginning about the conception of Baby Jesuses was hilarious, but once it spun into horror imagery I lost interest. It also made me realize that I don't care about zombies. Even the word zombie is boring. They do one thing and it has been well covered.
Mar 12, 2018 rated it liked it
Believe it or not; Mellick actually manages to flesh out a believable universe consisting of weird clones and mutations. No explanations (or f..s) given' as to why or how. Just accept it. Read in less than an hour.
Katherine Morris
Feb 07, 2018 rated it it was ok
Completely bizarre. I didn't enjoy it so much whilst I was reading it, but some of the imagery (the futility of work, and disposable nature of people) has stayed with me long beyond the end of the book.
I'm still not sure what to make of it...
David Murguia
Oct 29, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro
Really a 3.5 since its not Mellick's best work but rounded up to 4 since it's Mellick.
Simon Bate
Mar 01, 2018 rated it liked it
what a jolly romp...
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Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock
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