Maybe Everything

by Alicia Lidwina

A dead star—that’s what I am.

Just like a star that ran out of fuel—destined to wane in the dying universe. A star that shrank so greatly it couldn’t even turn to black hole. Like a solar system that lost its core; a hollow space populated with planets no longer bound by celestial gravity. I was left adrift in the boundless ocean of negativity.

And on the edge of the observable universe, there I stood by the entrance to my heart.

There was the door you once opened.

It is now closed.

136 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2017

About the author

An author, an avid reader, an occasional blogger, and an observant dreamer. While the idea of deconstructing ephemerality through writings fascinates her the most, she has to concur with the idea of writing just for fun. Sometimes you might find her sipping espresso at the nearest cafe, other times she would be haunting vacant seats in food courts while munching on her endless supply of chocolate bars.

Reviews

[Annisa Dian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hello readers. I have been read a book. I will give my review after read it. I hope you like my review and also like the book I read.

I read a book entitle 'Maybe Everything' by Alicia Lidwina. The book published in 2018, has 136 pages, starting from the first page to the last page (the author's profile). 'Maybe Everything' is the third book of Alicia Lidwina. This book is quite thin physically and has a cover that might make the reader interested in reading it.
--------------------
A dead star–that’s what I am.

Just like a star that ran out of fuel–designed to wane in the dying universe. A star that shrank so greatly it couldn’t even turn to black hole. Like a solar system that lost its core; a hollow space populated with the planets no longer bound by celestial gravity. I was left adrift in the boundless ocean of negativity.

And on the edge of observable universe, there I stood by the entrance to my heart.

There was the door you once opened.

It is now closed.
--------------------
Although, classified as a collection of short stories and poetry, but in this book the author does not merely bring these stories in lines of mini fiction paragraphs. The author presents short poems as well as short English prose to lead the reader from one mini fiction to another. This type of poetry and prose makes Alicia Lidwina's work mild and not boring. When you read this book, the emotional is clearly illustrated and make the reader feel it.

In terms of content, the themes raised are general themes and story ideas that have emerged frequently. However, I still often repeat to read sentences that I feel imply something. Eventhough, I only needed one day to finish reading this book.

Overall, the contents of the book are reflecting the synopsis. However, the plot is arranged randomly and make the reader feel more emotionally. In addition, if the synopsis tends to lead readers to enter the world of romance, several sub-chapters tell about life.

For example in the sub chapter 'Of Life' entitled Komorebi, the author presents a kind of contemplation about life globally. It is not telling about love, the first chapter invites the reader to reflect more on life, the wheel of life, the nature of happiness, the nature of life and death. Komorebi is my favorite part of this book. Komorebi is a word in Japanese that someone can't translate to any other languages directly. A rough translation of Komorebi is the interplay between light and when the sun shines through tress.
--------------------

If you are curious, please read 'Maybe Everything' by Alicia Lidwina.

Thank You

[Utha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loving you is like singing along to an unknown song.
I don't have to know the lyric to enjoy the melody.

- pg. 39

Love is,
perhaps,
the only thing that truly hurts;
the only thing that truly heals;
the only thing that truly endures.

- pg. 115

[cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mellow. No. Not just mellow, it was sad. My heart's aching every word it had, every meaning it gave. Even the lovely love story like The Last Glow still felt lonely. Not to mention the heart breaking ones, in Of Jealousy I found myself, He Told Me reminds me of lots of things and in Maybe Everything... oohh stoph, I'm crying.

#GD

[Stella Octavius · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aku mencoba untuk tidak menangis. Akan lebih baper kalau yang dibahas lebih fokus ke soal percintaan 😀. But seriously, kalian wajib baca buku ini. Banyak hal2 tak terduga yang buat aku jadi dejavu 😅

[yun with books · Rating 4 out of 5]

"He told me I'm scared of too many things.
He's right.
He told me I'm scared of losing him.
He's wrong.
I never had him in the first place."

REVIEW IN BAHASA

Saya sangat-sangat menunggu kehadiran buku ini, dan sering berinteraksi dengan Alicia Lidwina via twitter atau Instagram ketika menyambut kelahiran buku barunya.
Buku ini menurut saya adalah jenis essay dan berbahasa inggris, versi panjang dari booklet Alicia Lidwina yang juga diterbitkan secara mandiri beberapa bulan lalu. Bercerita tentang kehilangan, patah hati dan melepaskan.

Dalam 130-an halaman, pembaca disuguhkan dengan kutipan-kutipan yang menyentuh hati. Beberapa kali buku ini membuat hati saya sakit sedikit, nyesek gitu. hehehee

[Afifah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.
It's not bad, but there are only a handful of story that I enjoy and loved from this book.

[Raafi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ada kalimat:

"Actually, it was thanks to Sensei that I got to find a very fascinating word." (hlm. 22)

Aku merasa kurang sreg dengan"...it was thanks to..." sampai aku tanya Daniel dan dia bilang "bener sih, imo." Jadi, ya sudah.

Lalu ada kalimat:

"The time we spent together was but a speck of dust over our lifetime's a worth of memories." (hlm. 108)

Aku juga bingung dengan penggunaan "... was but ..." lalu aku juga tanya Daniel. Dia bilang bahwa itu berarti "... was (nothing) but...." Jadi, ya sudah.

Entah kenapa buku yang seharusnya bikin sendu malah bikin mikir. Aku seperti orang bodoh membaca buku ini. Beberapa kalimat sulit aku pahami dan buat aku bertanya-tanya bahkan harus tanya orang lain untuk cari tahu jawabannya. Itu membuatku tersadar bahwa ilmu ke-English-anku masih cetek.

Dilihat dari kontennya, cerita-cerita di dalamnya cukup bagus. Aku tidak berekspektasi dan hanya terus membaca, tapi aku dibuat hanyut oleh beberapa cerita. Yang jadi favorit: "木漏れ日 - Komorebi", "The Same Seat", dan "The Voicemail".

Buku ini juga menyajikan puisi-puisi yang sayangnya biasa saja dan kurang nendang.

Sejujurnya, aku malah menganggap akan lebih baik kalau buku ini ditulis dalam bahasa Indonesia. Bahasa Inggris-nya kaku dan kayak diterjemahkan dari bahasa Indonesia ke bahasa Inggris.

[Gita Karmani · Rating 3 out of 5]

Karena aku mayoritas koleksi hampir semua karyanya penulis, di buku ini aku menemukan sesuatu yang cukup berbeda dari karya-karyanya. Mungkin bisa dibilang beda karena ini bukan novel, cuma cerpen-cerpen tanpa resolusi menuju ending dan benar-benar berhenti ketika konflik cerita lagi di puncaknya. Dan beberapa tulisan singkat mungkin poetry atau quote entahlah bingung menyebutnya

Aku bingung untuk menyukainya atau enggak.
Terus terang aku merasa tulisannya di sini kesannya agak kaku, dari akunya sendiri juga agak jarang baca buku bahasa Inggris dan menurutku pribadi emang cukup sulit menemukan kenyamanan membaca tulisan bahasa Inggris yang ditulis oleh orang Indonesia, dibandingkan dengan tulisan penulis yang aslinya memang dari luar Indonesia. Seperti entahlah, mungkin secara grammar penulisannya benar tapi konteks kalimatnya lain. Menurutku ini tetap okay, karena menulis itu sama sekali nggak mudah.

Yang menarik, disini penulis menuliskan cerpen dan puisi tentang fase hidup yang perlahan tapi pasti akan dialami oleh manusia. Mulai dari filosofi Komorebi (sering dengar kata ini di beberapa syair lagu2 J-Pop) yang ternyata diselingi dalam kisah kelam tentang kepergian seseorang. Lalu jatuh cinta dan siklusnya dan lebih banyak dibahas; Unrequited Love. Sekaligus tentang impian dan masa depan.

Nice.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe Everything is a collection of short stories, prose and poems about the transcendence of life, dreams, heartaches, encounters and goodbyes. It is a highly emotional read with a lot to say between the lines. Those who have been in love and out of it and those who feel deeply will inevitably bond and see reflections of their own emotions and experiences as they read.

Lidwina's writing style is just my cup of tea, what draws me into her writing is that she makes me feel all sorts of emotions. As she pours her heart out, I relate to her way of experiencing the world. Soon enough, I find my heart joining in and making those stories my own. Like Robert Henri wrote: “We read books. They make us think. It matters very little whether we agree with the books or not.” In that same manner, books can makes us feel, empathize and bond... and this is one of those. I'm not that much into poetry, so the stories were what caught most of my interest. My favorite ones were Komorebi, If Ever So Slightly and Maybe Everything. *I got my book from the author without it affecting my review, actually I was already in love with her writing before this book was born*

[Mayang 🍁 · Rating 4 out of 5]

You asked me once : “what would you have done differently if we were born in this world with different circumtances?”

Di bagian ini aku baca sambil berkaca-kaca, menahan air mata, nyesek banget. Aku kira gak bakalan ada sesuatu yang aku ingat dari buku ini, ternyata dibagian akhir adalah klimaksnya.

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alicia Lidwina
Maybe Everything
Gramedia Pustaka Utama
136 pages
6.2

In Maybe Everything, Alicia still maintains the melancholic tone that's prevalent in her previous works, but loses that magical and impactful choice of words.

[Syifa L · Rating 3 out of 5]

My favorit bits:
KOMOREBI ; the interplay between light and when the sun shines through trees.

[Ziyy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ada tuh tips yang kepingin banget gw aplikasi: kalo baca buku, ya satu aja, kalo udah selesai baru baca yang berikutnya. Tapi itu tuh berat banget.

Sebetulnya gw lagi baca Circe - Madeline Miller. But girls, Circe itu tebel ya dan ceritanya gitu, sampe setengah baca itu gw belum ketemu konflik sebetulnya. Ini nyeritain Circe aja yang lumayan bikin boring sebetulnya. Alhamdulillahnya gw anaknya sabar, ye kan, gw tetep nungguin dan terus baca. Sampai pagi ini gw iseng buka GD (akhirnya ikutan urunan, thanks ka yuska) dan ketemu judul ini.

Sepanjang perjalanan berangkat yang hampir 1 jam itu, dibonceng adek gw yang bawa motornya ga nyantai, gw bisa dong menikmati ebook ini halaman demi halaman. Perjalanan berangkat itu dapet deh 100an halaman. Dan sisanya gw habisin di jam istirahat tadi.

Terus gimana tentang bukunya?

Well, I love her writings. Yah, mulai mirip kayak yang lain-lain juga sih yang apa-apa diromantisasi. Still, I love most part of this ebook.

(Bukan buku pertama yang gw baca di tahun ini, tapi jadi buku pertama yang gw selesain) #2019jadiavidreaderlagi

[R.A.Y · Rating 4 out of 5]

my favorite stories/poems would be:

1. When We Were Kids
2. Komorebi
3. Recognizing Love
4. Unknown Song
5. In Your Eyes
6. Last Glow
7. Of Jealousy
8. Love Elegy
9. Of Love and Sounds
10. The Same Seat
11. The Black Dwarf
12. Another "We"
13. Falling
14. Permanent
15. Of Love
16. How It Ends Up Every Time
17. Happily Ever After

damn that's almost everything.
which is natural cuz i gave it 4 stars :D

[yun with books · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 16 pages, this booklet story has shattered my heart.
Saya tidak pernah suka dengan tema kisah cinta yang berujung "melepaskan," it just too much feeling.

But, this booklet was awesome. My heart falls into pieces.

[Henzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Melow. Sedih. Sendu. Nyesek. Mikir. Aksi. Hidup.

Buku ini dibagi dalam beberapa chapter; yang setiap chapter-nya akan dibagi lagi menjadi cerita pendek dan puisi.

Meskipun bukunya tipis, chapter-nya ada banyak, di antaranya:
- Of Life
- Falling In Love
- Fighting For Love
- Unrequited Love
- Broken Hearts
- Losing Without a Fight
- Losing Freedom
- Thinking About the Past
- The Cycle of Love
- Second Chances

Ada beberapa cerita yang aku tandai, salah tiganya antara lain sebagai berikut:
1. Komorebi: bercerita tentang kehidupan. Rutinitas yang kita jalankan sehari-hari, terus mengalami gejolak perubahan sesuai dengan visi dan misi kita seiring perkembangan zaman. Pada akhirnya, kita tidak bisa hanya terlalu berfokus ke depan tanpa mengevaluasi apa yang telah dilakukan sebelumnya. Dari rekapan kejadian masa lalu, itulah yang kita tuai sekarang. Dari masa yang sekarang sedang kita jalani, bagaimana kita memproyeksikan masa depan agar tidak stuck menjadi masa kini (akibat proyeksi dari masa lalu)? Masa lalu akan tetap menjadi teman kita.
2. The Same Seat: bercerita tentang harapan. Dalam hidup, tentu kita mengalami getar-getir pengalaman yang menjadikan kita saat ini. Namun, sebagai manusia, kita bisa merasa bosan, sepi, sedih, dan tidak bermakna (tentu saja ada juga yang positif). Kita bisa mencoba hal-hal baru, dan bila berhasil akan memberikan sebuah pengharapan. Pengharapan untuk sebuah kebahagiaan, walaupun kecil. Akan tetapi, yang namanya harapan tidak selalu berjalan sesuai keinginan, bukan?
3. Maybe Everything: bercerita tentang pengalaman, pengandaian, dan perbaikan. Mungkin, inilah kisah paling pahit. “What would you have done differently if we were born in this world with different circumstance?”

Semua ceritanya sarat makna. Ada bagian-bagian yang tidak hanya bisa dibaca sekali atau dua kali. Ada juga cerita yang tidak bisa dipahami jika itu tidak berkolerasi dengan hidup kita. Sungguh indah.

Trigger warning: pastikan Anda dalam keadaan sehat sentosa secara mental dan fisik ketika membaca buku ini, ya. Menurutku ada banyak bagian cerita yang memerlukan pikiran jernih untuk menafsirkan maknanya. Jangan membiarkan pikiran runyam mempersulit masalah, yo.

[Yuli · Rating 4 out of 5]

He's right.
He told me I'm scared of losing him.
He's wrong.
I never had him in the first place.
-Page 85-

On a gloomy day, in a gloomy heart, I just wanna do nothing. When I found this book and started to read it, I feel more sad than before. Honestly, I didn't know exactly what makes me sad. Maybe because it's too complicated to understand. This book just validates my gloomy feeling. I think it's okay to have those feelings, we're still a human, right?.

Maybe everything is a collection of short stories and poetry. Mostly about romantic love and some story about life. I love the writing techniques that author used in this book because there are some implicit repetition in the story and sometimes the author placed the character in the opposite gender. It would be she or he.

I love the story titled, "The same seat". It gives me such a mysterious, loneliness and romantic feeling at the same time. I still curious, who is Chris?. And I love the story titled, "If ever so slightly". The story explains the unrequited love. I loved him. I think he loved me too. No, it's my imagination that he loved me too. The punchline of this book is the last story that has the same title like this book, "Maybe Everything".

So, what would you like to have done differently?.

"Maybe nothing".

I looked to you.

"Maybe everything".

-Page 135-

[Akaigita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ini buku perkenalanku dengan Alicia Lidwina.

Aku sudah lama tahu dia, cuma masih menunda-nunda untuk menikmati karyanya karena waktu itu moodnya lagi nggak cocok. Moodnya lagi craving sesuatu yang suspense tapi dipaksa baca sesuatu yang sendu dan self-aware kayak karya-karya beliau? No go.

Jadi buku ini berisi… puisi-puisi dan cerita pendek dalam bahasa Inggris. Aku suka cerpen tentang komorebi, karena komorebi praktis adalah warna favoritku di dunia ini. Tapi puisi favoritku yang judulnya falling.

Kesenduannya gak melulu bahas kematian. Cerita yang seharusnya lucu pun dibawa dengan gaya sendu. Meskipun demikian, jiwaku serasa dipijat-pijat sampai pegalnya hilang oleh buku ini. Selagi baca rasanya aku sambil bilang “this way… this way… ah, right, it’s getting better now.”

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe everything, is a collection of short stories and poetry. Mostly placed in japan, and one and another chapter separate to each other although the theme are the same talked about sadness and the aftermath of broken heart.

My fav story from this collection is the last story, talk about two best friends who have the same feeling, fall in love towards each other but never have the guts to confess, so they ended up regret the past

So interesting but also so sad.

[Aisy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kumpulan cerita dan prosa dengan nuansa mellow. Aku selalu suka dengan tulisan Alicia Lidwina. Penuturannya terasa lembut dan mengalir. Oya buku ini sangat pendek, aku sendiri menyelesaikannya dalam 30 menit-an saja.

[Andita · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite "one sitting book" this month. Incredibly well beautiful written.

My favorite part is 'komorebi', talking about growing, remembering, losing, and everything in between, so emotional. 4/5⭐

[Fakhrisina Amalia · Rating 3 out of 5]

"After you left,
I lived happily ever after." pg. 120

[Anidos · Rating 2 out of 5]

Skipping the poems for I didn't feel like they got me, admiring the short stories for that's where the real deal is.

Therefore, simple math: two stars and a half.

[White Ketchup · Rating 4 out of 5]

7.5/10

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the diction she used in this book but the story is pretty boring.

[Tamara Fahira · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.7 round up to 4. Some stories have deep meanings like ‘When We Were Kids’, ‘Komorebi’, ‘The Same Seat’ and ‘Insomnia’, thank you to writer for making me feel less alone.

[Brenda Sylviasyah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful piece of short story that leaves you with bitter taste and a tinge of heartbreak in the ending. Definitely must read.

[Ria Destriana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Painful, bitter and heartbreaking.
But I love this booklet so much.
Can't wait to read Alicia's new novel.

[Fatima · Rating 4 out of 5]

She has her way, to say the unspoken