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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously

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3.93  ·  Rating details ·  8,575 ratings  ·  1,261 reviews
What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out.

When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life mi
...more
Hardcover, 368 pages
Published May 30th 2019 by Doubleday (first published May 28th 2019)
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Toni
May 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ultimately unders ...more
carol.
Apr 18, 2019 marked it as don-t-count  ·  review of another edition
This sounds ghastly.
MissBecka Gee
A lot of the stuff she forced herself to try was waaaaaay out of my comfort zone.
Mad props to her for giving it a go and I was happy to live vicariously through her.
The author is funny and has a way of making you feel a part of the story.
I'm not sure if that's because I related so much to her story or if she is just that awesome.
One will never know.
Thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for my DRC.
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Brandice
May 10, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes is Jessica Pan’s story of committing to a year of engaging in activities far beyond her comfort zone as a shintrovert (shy introvert). She forces herself to talk with strangers and attempt to move beyond surface level conversations, uses apps in an effort to meet new friends, takes an improv class, performs stand-up comedy, takes a solo trip, and hosts a dinner party.

I admire Jessica’s bravery, particularly in her repeate
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K. Elizabeth
My first read of 2020, and it was rather average. I enjoyed how personal Jessica Pan got during her year of "extraverted-ness," but there was something missing for me in terms of execution and enjoyment while reading. I'm going to chalk it up to an "it's me, not you" situation! ...more
Sara Tucker
May 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.

Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.

I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like  You Are a Badass
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Jenny (Reading Envy)
I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.)

I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent
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Rebecca
Like Jessica Pan, I’m a shy introvert (a “shintrovert”) as well as an American in the UK, so I was intrigued to see the strategies she employed and the experiences she sought out during a year of behaving like an extrovert. She forced herself to talk to strangers on the tube, gave a talk at London’s Union Chapel as part of the Moth, used friendship apps to make new girlfriends, did stand-up comedy and improv, attended networking events, went on holiday to an unknown destination, took magic mushr ...more
Mehrsa
Oct 19, 2019 rated it liked it
Too shallow to be worthwhile. It's all about a shy introvert pushing herself to do extroverted things like speaking in front of people or talking to people randomly and sharing her goofy adventures along the way. I don't love the obsession people seem to have with labels like introvert and extrovert, but I also find it odd that there are no books written by extroverts about how they decided not to always be out or talking to strangers or maybe they decided to stay home and read and how that year ...more
Catherine Woodward
I was intrigued by the concept of this book and have been wanting to read it for some time. Going in, I expected it to bear similarities to the movie Yes Man, where Jim Carrey’s character has to say Yes to every invitation he receives after attending an inspirational seminar.

However, Jessica Pan’s journey from ‘shintrovert’ (shy introvert) to grintrovert (gregarious introvert), both terms coined by Pan, felt more like a vehicle for an extended exploration of her latent interest in comedy. The bo
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Kat
Every once in awhile, a book comes along that you weren't looking for and didn't know you needed in your life. This was one of those books for me. The author, Jessica Pan, a life-long socially anxious, shy introvert (or "shintrovert" as she calls herself) decides to take stock of her life after all her more extroverted close friends move away, and she sees all the opportunities that keep opening up for them. Left to decide whether she wants her life to be "bigger" or stay safe hiding behind the ...more
Genevieve Trono
I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel.

As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on co
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Rachel
*thank you to to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*

3 stars.

As an introvert I thought that this would be right up my alley. And to some degree it was. I could relate to certain parts of it but there was still a lot that made me realise just how much of an introvert I am as I felt that the people in these short stories were more outgoing than I am, so for that reason there was a lot that didn't interest me or that I could relate to. St
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The Captain
May 28, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .

Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be th
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Emma
Aug 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I absolutely loved this!

Even though I am not a shy introvert but a “normal” introvert, this was super relatable. The writing is fun and easy to read, and I had to laugh out loud while reading certain paragraphs.

With regards to genre, I would put this somewhere between self-help and an autobiography/memoir. This setup can be very hit and miss for me, but in this case it turned out great.

I am now very curious about Jessica Pan’s other book and will probably pick it up in the future.
Jennifer
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the EXACTLY the book I needed.

I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attent
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Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance
Jessica Pan finds herself living in a new country with no job and no friends. She blames her troubles on being introverted, and she sets out on a quest to become more social and happier.

I am a big fan of books in which people set out to become better, research how to do so, and then accomplish the task. And that's the story in this book. In the process of reading the book, I learned a lot about human nature, including "People don't wave, but people wave back," as well as the importance of deep
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Montzalee Wittmann
Apr 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
by Jessica Pan
This is a book I requested from NetGalley and the review is voluntary.
This is a witty and clever book that I enjoyed reading. I can say relate to some of it. It has humor and is a good feeling book. I did find she repeated herself a lot. Worth the read.
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Jen
Jul 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: netgalley
This book was at turns hilarious and caused much head-nodding by this reader in agreement and wonder. Yes, apparently many people think and feel the same way about various social interactions. It is always a comfort to realize you are not the only one to feel a certain way.

This author may not be a natural at stand-up comedy, BUT she completely blew me away with her writing. I understand that some of that credit goes to editors, Beta-readers, etc., but the meat of the book is HER. And she is fri
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Exitgirl05
Nov 10, 2020 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: dnf
DNF @40%
Every time I don't finish the book, I feel guilty. As if I'm cheating.
I was really looking forward to this and first 15-20% were ok, even funny. But after that, things just start going in circles.
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Britany
Mar 12, 2020 rated it liked it
Jessica Pan decides to spend a year getting out of her own introvert way by trying different methods to put herself out there.

She tries networking, Friend Bumble to make new girlfriends, writing, improv and finally leading to stand up comedy and public speaking. I really enjoyed hearing her story and watching as she literally takes the most extroverted things and accomplishes them (albeit uncomfortably). She's put through the ringer a few times, but manages to make a case and enough content for
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Fieke
Oct 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
This is a really interesting book with the best audiobook.

I wish I had this book five years ago, because I think over the years I have also become much less shy.

This book was more of a fun, hilarious and culture-reference filled story than a big revelation. Nothing really shocking but still I had a great time.

UPDATE: I so often find myself thinking back to this book that I just had to add it to my favourites. This book has a lot of notes on how to care less about what people think of you and h
...more
Anna
Sep 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Anna by: Rebecca
This review has been delayed by four days thanks to a) the distraction of Brexit mayhem, and b) having three visitors (two humans, one husky) to stay, but this is no reflection upon the book. I thoroughly enjoyed Jessica Pan’s voyage into the unfamiliar world of extroversion. After finding herself lonely in London because all her friends had moved away, she decided to spend a year trying practically everything that seems scary and off-putting to a shy introvert. She recounts in engaging and very ...more
Jen
May 19, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a tricky one to review, in that Jessica Pan's writing is quite good in an informal, chatty, magazine style and is clearly well researched - but I'm not really sure about the concept.

The synopsis is: "An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way..." In a time where we have had Susan Cain's book "Quiet", which Pan even makes reference to, it seems a shame that introverts still feel they need to try to be something
...more
McKenzie/literarydragon
Published May 28th
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book!

full review can be found here: https://www.literarydragonreviews.web...

OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (re
...more
Sarah
Sep 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites, 2019-list
Introverts CAN have all the fun, or at least write about it in a way that has the rest of us laughing and turning the pages like our fingers are on fire...

Guilty: I totally picked this book up because the title made me laugh. (And the cover was cute, too.)

‟I assumed that life as a shy introvert would go on this way for me forever,” Jessica Pan writes in the introduction. ‟But then, something unusual happened: I found myself roasting in a sauna, clutching a copy of Men’s Health, wearing a full-le
...more
Kyra Leseberg (Roots & Reads)
Introvert Jessica Pan spent an entire year outside of her comfort zone.
As an introvert myself, I was uncomfortable for her most of the book as she attended improv comedy classes, performed stand-up, signed up to be sent on a mystery vacation, and made small talk with women she met on a Bumble (for friends) app.
As a thirty-something, I can completely relate to that feeling of loneliness as our responsibilities keep us from spending time with friends, which leads to drifting apart, followed by th
...more
Howard
4.5 Stars for Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year in Living Dangerously (audiobook) by Jessica Pan read by the author. If you really liked Quiet by Susan Cain you should read this. You may enjoy this book or it may freak you out. This is a good example of someone challenging themself to being more outgoing. It’s good to know we can adapt it we put our minds to it. I wish these books were written forty years ago.
Marjolein
Loved this. Hilarious, relatable and educational. Jessica Pan wrote a heartfelt and honest book about her ventures into the world of extroverts. Now, I'm not a shy introvert (or a shintrovert), but I do value my personal space and I enjoy nights or days by myself, just reading a book or baking or watching tv. Not every introvert is the same, just like not every extrovert is the same. Nevertheless, I think we can all learn a great deal from the amount of courage it must've taken for Jess to do th ...more
Jeannette
Apr 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Introverts and Extroverts who want to understand Introverts
Shelves: netgalley, reviewed
Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it.

I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's
...more
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Half-Chinese American living in London. Graduate of Brown University. Big fan of dogs, coconut smoothies and traveling.

My second book, SORRY I'M LATE, I DIDN'T WANT TO COME is out in May 2019.

It's about the year I spent: talking to strangers, performing stand-up comedy, travelling solo, trying out improv, going on friend dates and doing a bunch of extrovert-y things. I interview brilliant people
...more

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