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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously

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4.05  ·  Rating details ·  1,193 ratings  ·  260 reviews
What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out.

When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life mi
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Hardcover, 368 pages
Published May 30th 2019 by Doubleday (first published May 28th 2019)
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4.05  · 
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 ·  1,193 ratings  ·  260 reviews


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Toni
May 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ulti ...more
carol.
Apr 18, 2019 marked it as don-t-count  ·  review of another edition
This sounds ghastly.
MissBecka
A lot of the stuff she forced herself to try was waaaaaay out of my comfort zone.
Mad props to her for giving it a go and I was happy to live vicariously through her.
The author is funny and has a way of making you feel a part of the story.
I'm not sure if that's because I related so much to her story or if she is just that awesome.
One will never know.
Thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for my DRC.
Jenny (Reading Envy)
I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.)

I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent
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Rebecca
Like Jessica Pan, I’m a shy introvert (a “shintrovert”) as well as an American in the UK, so I was intrigued to see the strategies she employed and the experiences she sought out during a year of behaving like an extrovert. She forced herself to talk to strangers on the tube, gave a talk at London’s Union Chapel as part of the Moth, used friendship apps to make new girlfriends, did stand-up comedy and improv, attended networking events, went on holiday to an unknown destination, took magic mushr ...more
Sara Tucker
May 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.

Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.

I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like  You Are a Badass:
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The Captain
May 28, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .

Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be th
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Montzalee Wittmann
Apr 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
by Jessica Pan
This is a book I requested from NetGalley and the review is voluntary.
This is a witty and clever book that I enjoyed reading. I can say relate to some of it. It has humor and is a good feeling book. I did find she repeated herself a lot. Worth the read.
Jen
Jul 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: netgalley
This book was at turns hilarious and caused much head-nodding by this reader in agreement and wonder. Yes, apparently many people think and feel the same way about various social interactions. It is always a comfort to realize you are not the only one to feel a certain way.

This author may not be a natural at stand-up comedy, BUT she completely blew me away with her writing. I understand that some of that credit goes to editors, Beta-readers, etc., but the meat of the book is HER. And she is fri
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Genevieve Trono
I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel.

As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on co
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Jennifer
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the EXACTLY the book I needed.

I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attent
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Grumpus
Jul 13, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: miscellaneous
The grumpus23 (23-word commentary)
Making friends is hard for anyone, especially for introverts. Hilarity ensues as author learns and lives life as an extrovert for a year.
McKenzie/literarydragon
Published May 28th
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book!

full review can be found here: https://www.literarydragonreviews.web...

OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (re
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Jeannette
Apr 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Introverts and Extroverts who want to understand Introverts
Shelves: netgalley, reviewed
Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it.

I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's
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Karen
Apr 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate to a lot of Jessica Pan's experiences and struggles. Pan had a goal of breaking out of her shell and enlisted the help and advice of some experts along the way. Her story is shared with lots of insight and plenty of humor. This book was a lot of fun to read and I learned a few things too. While I won't be signing up for stand-up classes anytime soon, I definitely could benefit from breaking out of my own shell a bit more often. Thanks, Jessica, for ...more
Michelle
Jessica Pan is an introvert and it is extremely difficult for her to make friends. She bails on engagements, is terrible at small talk, and the only friend she really has his her husband Sam.

She decides to change all of this by going out into the world and researching the best ways to connect to people and gives herself a year to really make a change.

This books takes her from Improv to learning how to have a meaningful conversation with another person.

It’s lighthearted, funny, and a bit of a s
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Renee (itsbooktalk)
I mentioned awhile back that I had bought this based purely on the title. I’m definitely an introvert and wanted to see how much of myself I could see in the book as well as how the author challenged herself to live like an extrovert for a year. Conclusion: I saw ALOT of myself in the book and much of the extroverted behaviors the author challenged herself to do made me say to myself, I’d never do that. By the end, it also made me say, sometimes it wouldn’t hurt to try...except improv & stan ...more
Madalina Negrea
Apr 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: arcs
How far would you go in order to make friends (in a foreign country, in a busy city)?
Jessica Pan goes the whole nine yards, which is admirable. She challenges herself to overcome her natural shyness, to leave her comfort zone and live as an extrovert for a year. And she does it by the book: she sets her target, does research (sometimes on Google!), talks to specialists (not necessarily licensed, anyone with a vast experience should do!), puts the ideas in practice and then quantifies the results
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Rachel
*thank you to to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*

3 stars.

As an introvert I thought that this would be right up my alley. And to some degree it was. I could relate to certain parts of it but there was still alot that made me realise just how much of an introvert I am as I felt that the people in these short stories were more outgoing than I am, so for that reason there was alot that didn't interest me or that I could relate to. Stil
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Rachel Kapelke-Dale
Apr 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Made me laugh so much! I loved the "mentors" along the way. Plus I loved the adventures in London, Paris, Edinburgh, and the forest. Funny, inspiring, brilliant.
Arybo ✨
3.5 💓

This book was really good. I know, it's just someone talking about a personal experience, and I'm not so into this things, but it was interesting and brainwarming. Reading this book I understanded that I'm not so introvert as I thought. Well, there are different kind of introvert people around the world and everyone has a personal view of the problems with external world. I thought I was a "big" introvert because I'm not a party-person, but I think it depends on who you are with, if you fee
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Deanne Patterson
Well, this book made me a bit anxious reading it.
As an introvert myself I really can't imagine myself for a year acting the way this woman did. Being social at parties,being involved in plays,public speaking etc. It makes me cringe to even imagine such a thing.
Now there were admittedly some funny scenes with the repercussions of her actions as I shook my head saying, not me. No way could I do this!

Pub Date 28 May 2019
I was given a complimentary copy of this book. Thank you.
All opinions expresse
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Kris Sellgren
Jul 02, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: reviewed
This is a well-written account of Jess Pan, an introvert, challenging herself to do extroverted things: talk to total strangers, make new friends, travel solo, and do stand-up comedy. She is good at turning a disaster into a funny story.
Jen
May 19, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a tricky one to review, in that Jessica Pan's writing is quite good in an informal, chatty, magazine style and is clearly well researched - but I'm not really sure about the concept.

The synopsis is: "An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way..." In a time where we have had Susan Cain's book "Quiet", which Pan even makes reference to, it seems a shame that introverts still feel they need to try to be something
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Johanna
Jul 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I picked up this book solely because the title made me laugh, but the author's fabulously funny and vulnerable voice sucked me in. Over a year, Jessica chose to do things that terrified her, like talking to strangers on the subway, taking a solo vacation, and doing improv. In each chapter, she dives into her new task by asking an expert and sharing their wisdom, then shares her experience- the good, bad, and hilarious.
Susanne
May 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, netgalley
Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this book - Jessica Pan takes us into her world as a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) and what she experienced during a year of trying to live more like an extrovert. Her writing style is warm, witty and personable, and it's hard to believe that she really is introverted and shy. I am definitely more of an extrovert, and found hearing her side of the story very illuminating, in terms o
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Elizabeth Buttrick
May 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: arc
Part memoir, part self-help, Jessica Pan takes on a challenge that literally makes my palms sweat and heart race, and lives to relay the tale. In recounting her experience “extroverting” for a year, she shares tips and tricks that seem basic enough for a 10 year old, but are helpful for introverts like me for whom holding a conversation with a stranger is a mentally demanding task. There were parts of the book I related to less than others, mainly because Jessica is a “shintrovert” (a shy introv ...more
Dani
May 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come is something all of us could have said at one point in our lives if we were being more honest and less polite.

It's also the title of Jessica Pan's hilarious and insightful memoir, chronicling a year in this shy introvert's life as she challenges herself to spend a year talking to strangers, accepting social invitations, making new friends, and otherwise living like an extrovert.

Jessica Pan is very down to earth, and the book reads like a conversation with a
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Cristie Underwood
I loved this book! It shows just how amazing those experiences that we think are going to be uncomfortable can be if we push past our anxiety and experience new things!
Edna
Apr 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
n introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way.

What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a
...more
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LitWits Book Club...: This topic has been closed to new comments. * August Book Club: Where to Find the Book 1 11 Jul 30, 2019 07:46AM  
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Half-Chinese American living in London. Graduate of Brown University. Big fan of dogs, coconut smoothies and traveling.

My second book, SORRY I'M LATE, I DIDN'T WANT TO COME is out in May 2019.

It's about the year I spent: talking to strangers, performing stand-up comedy, travelling solo, trying out improv, going on friend dates and doing a bunch of extrovert-y things. I interview brilliant people
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“A man in his thirties raises his hand. “But people don’t always want to share their personal feelings and life, right? Some people might hate that.” Mark turns to him. He tells him, sure, maybe, but the fear of being intrusive is hugely exaggerated. The more important point is this: what we should actually fear is being boring and dying having never connected with anyone. Then he stares at all of us, meaningfully, and says it again, slowly. “The fear and bleak reality of being boring and dying having never connected with anyone is vastly underestimated.” 0 likes
“Social anxiety is a completely normal experience. We are social animals. We want to be accepted by our peer groups and we do not want to be rejected. If people do not have any social anxiety, something is seriously wrong with them.” 0 likes
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