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The Anunnaki Chronicles #1

Holy Crap! The World is Ending!: How a Trip to the Bookstore Led to Sex with an Alien and the Destruction of Earth

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End times are here! Now you can eat whatever you want and not care if you gain weight.

Autumn, a food and wine obsessed ad executive (who for the purpose of this retelling asked to be portrayed as drool-inducing hot with kick-ass ninja skills), has just been handed the task of saving all of humanity.

Here’s the deal. The president has just announced that the Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. No car was left unrolled—but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos® Tacos were a popular last meal. 

After drinking a bottle of wine and inhaling a wheel of Brie cheese, Autumn hijacks a spaceship and races to save her fellow humans with the help of her unbelievably sexy alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend with fire-retardant hair. The task is simple enough, just loot the Ark of the Covenant from a secret government bunker under a department store in Arkansas and use it to convince the entire human race to come together in one giant group hug. No problem, right? Along the way, Autumn will discover just how sheltered people are from the truth of extraterrestrials and their power to either protect us or destroy us.

Stupid government.

Grab a bottle of wine, a spaceship full of snacks, and prepare to take a ride on this humorous chick lit romantic sci-fi paranormal adventure. If you crave a little sexy time in your reading, are into Ancient Aliens, conspiracy theories, UFOs, are curious if we were genetically engineered (like the Sumerian cuneiform texts claim), and are dying to find out the meaning of life, then this book is for you.

358 pages, Paperback

First published September 21, 2017

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About the author

Anna-Marie Abell

1 book44 followers
Anna-Marie Abell grew up in a trailer park. Well, several actually. Her trailer was on wheels so she got to experience the Pacific Northwest’s vast array of mobile home parks as her parents moved her from one to the other. Somewhere along the way, she got totally into UFOs. Probably because she was hoping extraterrestrials would come and abduct her. But they never did. Luckily for her she was smart, because her only hope of escaping trailer life was college and a full scholarship. Moving to sunny California on her almost full ride to Chapman University, she was well on her way to her new life. Two bachelor degrees later (Film and Television Production and Media Performance), and several honors and awards for her accomplishments, she managed to start working in an almost completely unrelated industry from her majors: infomercials.

It was in college that she got bit by the “ancient alien” bug after listening to Zecharia Sitchin on Coast to Coast AM. In her pursuit to uncover the truth, she has spent the last twenty years researching the ancient Sumerian culture—in particular their “gods” called the Anunnaki—and their connection to the creation of the human race. What she found changed her life, her beliefs, and her understanding of the universe and everything beyond. Her humorous science fiction trilogy, The Anunnaki Chronicles, is a culmination of all her research, her borderline obsession for all things paranormal, and approximately 2,300 bottles of wine. Abell was named one of the Top 40 Contemporary Science Fiction Authors in a poll by Book Riot readers. Holy Crap! The World is Ending!, the award-winning first book in the series, is available now.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
Profile Image for Natalie  ~ The Biblioholic.
2,502 reviews1,214 followers
April 29, 2018
Holy Crap is right! Imagine meeting the man of your dreams... only to find out he's an alien... so while you're terrified of all that entails, you can't resist the pull he has over you... you both realize you're soulmates... but your death is imminent because his planet is about to collide with yours and Earth as you know it will be over... however, there's a bit of hope... if mankind can come together in peace, love and harmony, then they can be beamed to a planet similar to Earth to continue life. Easy peasy right?

I especially enjoyed the way the author wove what many of us have learned from the Bible, the history of our people, the Big Bang, and her own special brand of hilarity to give another perspective on how we as a people came to be. She used her imagination to give the reader a familiar yet refreshing view of the creation of life on Earth. It was thoroughly entertaining, full of laughs, and I for one hope that there is more to the ending than what I got. Please say it ain't so. I'm still dealing with this bittersweet feeling and I hope that this wasn't the true end for Autumn and extremely sexy alien!

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Profile Image for catherine ♡.
1,174 reviews155 followers
October 19, 2020
*Thank you to the author for a free copy in exchange for an honest review!*

Actual Rating: 3.75

The title is already quite a bit telling: Holy Crap! The World is Ending!: How a Trip to the Bookstore Led to Sex with an Alien and the Destruction of Earth. In essence, this book follows Autumn who is handed quite the difficult task to save humanity. Luckily, she's got her hot alien boyfriend by her side, along with a kleptomaniac friend whose most notable characteristic is his hair.

As you can imagine, once the news broke that the Earth was going to be destroyed, chaos broke out and everyone went batshit crazy. Autumn's got a plan though - kind of.

This book was such a treat! It was one of the most original stories I've ever read, but the most interesting thing about it was that there were references to real life places and stories, like Bigfoot, Harry Potter, or Walmart. This definitely made reading the book a fun experience. I found that the slightly realistic part of this book meant that I had to suspend my disbelief when something out of the ordinary happened, but as the story progressed I learn to take it in stride.

Throughout the book, there are some small doodles or collage-like drawings and they were definitely really cute and creative. I think one of the strongest aspects of this book were the witty dialogue exchanges that really had me rolling around, laughing.

One thing I might say about this book though, was that I wish the main character was able to kind of discover more on her own. There's definitely a lot of information to take in, and most of this was explained by another character through long and explanatory paragraphs of dialogue. Although this meant that it was straightforward and we got some witty remarks in the process, so many information dumps started to become a bit repetitive.

The ending was definitely eyebrow-raising, and I definitely look forward to the second book to see what more this world has to offer.
Profile Image for Kirsty ❤️.
921 reviews46 followers
October 6, 2017
This is a fun book about the end times with an original storyline fully of crazy theories that turned out to be genuine theories (lots of extra info in the glossary at the back). I do like it when you read something that no matter how crazy has something actually going for it. 

This book is full of sexy aliens, food, weird vomit-inducing relationships (in the literal sense), bad guys, Indiana Jones style adventures but in space ships, and so much more. There's a lot packed into this book. It has a sense of humour running through it and is quite an easy read. I loved the chapter titles - almost as long as the chapters! I loved Devon's attempt's not to swear. 

”Well, slap me upside the head and color me zebra,”

There's quite a fast pace to the book which is good when you think it's about a race to save the world.

All in all, completely bonkers but I enjoyed it

Free arc from netgalley

Profile Image for Esther.
554 reviews108 followers
August 27, 2017
Thanks to Netgalley and the author for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book has it all. Science Fiction, Romance, Humour and a great set of characters. I think this is maybe my favorite book that I've read this summer!
Trigger warning: There is an almost rape scene in this book.

A longer review can be found at Bite Into books

HOLY CRAP. Give me book number 2. I'm so ready for it! I loved the book. Here you have a girl that is sarcastic, loves food, goes to Barnes and Nobles.. This is about me! Except my world isn't ending, luckily. This book starts with a lot of humour, but quickly gets a very rich storyline with great characters and seriously... This ending? If you like to be blown away, you should read this!
Profile Image for Lexxi Kitty.
1,991 reviews428 followers
August 3, 2017
I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley and Alien Abduction Press in exchange for an honest review.

I could easily imagine Simon Pegg making this into a movie, though back around 2005 or so, before he made 2013's 'The World's End' since you can only make so many end of the world type films. This has a kind of 'Shaun of the Dead' kind of vibe. Without zombies. And with a little more dumb jokes. But still - serious situation mixed with humor is what I'm going for here.

I saw something recently that talked about the humor of Mel Brooks that turned up in his films - the kind of humor that was rapid fire, and if a joke fell flat, it didn't matter because 12 more are on the way. Well, that's kind of what a reader faces in this book.

Though there was a moment when everything kind of turned on me. I knew there was a serious edge to things, but the constant 'funny chapter headings' and pictures of cows in space somewhat blocked the serious nature for a longish time. That is until, well I only mention this because there are those that need to know this type of thing before they decide to read the book or not, so I'll put it behind a spoiler tag.

Just looking at the title reminds how this book started, which I mention so I can very briefly note what the book is about. 'How a Trip to the bookstore . . .' The lead character, a woman named Autumn, is on the way to her 'pig out' with her friend (they, apparently, starve themselves for something like two days then eat massive quantities of food) when the podcast she was listening to lead her to decide to stop by the bookstore to look up books. Whereupon she meets two other relatively main characters in this book. Devon, the person who works there and has very tall hair, and Rigel, the 7 foot blonde haired blue eyed Greek god looking fella who was browsing a book in the New Age section when Autumn stumbled in.

You can tell the book is 'wacky' and 'different' by the fact that Autumn keeps stumbling around like she does at the opening, knocking things over, hearing voices, drooling over well built men, etc. Oh, and having literal out of body experiences.

So, that's what the book is about, boiled down - a woman stumbling around doing weird stuff, and drooling over very tall people. Well, mostly drooling over Rigel. Finding out things like aliens exist, and the world is about to end. You know, normal stuff.

Rating: 3.58

August 3 2017
Profile Image for CrazyUnicorn.
105 reviews11 followers
February 25, 2020
I recived an Arc of this book thru Netgalley

I wasn't going to give a review of this book. But decided that I will anyway.

Sometimes an idea of a book is great. But sometimes that idea should stay with the author. This is such a book for me. I didn't finish it, because it wasn't a story I liked.
I must stress this tho that it's my opionin. It doesn't or shouldn't deterre other readers to try it.
Profile Image for Julia.
Author 1 book44 followers
November 9, 2017
Sci-Fi + Romance + Humour? Yes, please!

I really liked this book. It's the story of two people meeting in a book store and falling for each other. Unfortunately his people are not quite pleased with this.
Plus, the world is ending, literally, and someone must save humankind, somehow.

I liked the banter, I liked the references to pop culture, ancient cultures, and the true information provided in this original story. What I did not like was long dialogues in which information was presented to the main characters instead of the MCs finding this information out themselves.

Review is based on a NetGalley ARC provided by the publishers.
Profile Image for Megan.
72 reviews8 followers
September 18, 2017
**I received this book in exchange for an honest review**

“”Well, slap me upside the head and color me zebra,” Devon exclaimed.

“I’m not even going to ask what that means,” Rigel said

“It means hot damn, we’re going to Wally World!"

Okay, first off, this is totally not the kind of book I would pick up. But as soon as Anna emailed me and I read the title AND saw the cover? I was sold. How could you not want to read a book with that kind of title that also has a cow being beamed up to a spaceship?!?

This book was phenomenal. The writing was incredible and the story completely consumed me. This story revolves around a girl named Autumn who meets a guy named Rigel in a Barnes & Noble. He’s perfect and gorgeous, but also kind of an alien. Now, personally, that would be a deal breaker for me haha. He informs Autumn that one of his planets moons is on a collision course for Earth and the only way the human race can survive is if they stop being such an awful race. We all know humans kinda suck sometimes, so they kinda have to get their crap together or they’re done for.

Needless to say, once the news breaks to the rest of the planet, all hell breaks loose. Riots. Looting. Murders. It’s complete chaos and Autumn has to find a way to get through the everyone. I cannot spoil anything for anyone wishing to read this because it is just too good to get into details. You must read this book.

The writing was just absolutely amazing. I’m not saying that other books that have been sent to me have been poorly written, but this book just had the perfect flow. The only issues I had with it was some of the background. There were a bit too many religious references for my taste, but the author made it all work. There was a lot of information on some of the theories that people have on aliens and where we came from, which is usually not my thing, but I enjoyed it. I did find myself somewhat lost at times, especially trying to keep the names and places straight. This is a book that I just had to get to the end and see how it all turned out, but it’s definitely a book I would go back and read again and really understand all of the background better. At the end of the book, well the ebook version at least, Anna included a lot of links that provide more information and background that I need to check out more.

I cannot recommend this book enough. It was so witty and fun to read. It had such quick humor and sarcasm that doesn’t deter from the actual story. The chapter names were outrageously awesome and there are these great little pictures throughout the story that add so much to the story. Some authors focus so much on trying to be funny that the plot is lost. Absolutely not the case here. Thank you so much Anna for sending me this book and please keep me in mind when you finish the sequel!

For more reviews: https://soulmeetsbooks.wordpress.com
Profile Image for Carrie Griffin.
740 reviews51 followers
August 7, 2017
This book was one of the funniest that I have ever read. I was not sure of what to expect from this book and I am happy with what we got from it. When I had first heard of it, I thought it sounded a bit like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (one of my all time favorite books) and I became very interested in reading this book. I'm not someone who really loves books about aliens unless they are really good.

This book was great. The humor was balanced throughout the book with heartwarming scenes. The references to pop culture were a joy to read and the friendships/ relationships that our main character Autumn has throughout are great. There were times that I was pulled out of the story by something going on but then there would be a humorous scene that brought me back. I am glad that this was so much more than I expected but it all had the humor that I wanted.

It's not a perfect book but it is one that I really enjoyed and I cannot wait for the others in this series.

* I was given this book for an honest review.
Profile Image for Ginny Lurcock.
Author 3 books43 followers
September 12, 2017
Right at the very beginning, we get eating disorders and fat shaming. I should've known. I should revisit my hard limits in books. But I haven't yet, so I kept reading. Next, I stumbled across "her smooth Asian features," and just... no. Asia is huge, you need to be more specific. And I really need to revisit my hard limits, because I still kept reading.

And that's when, after some major Twilight "I should stay away from you" bullshit, we got to the whole bit on where humans came from, slavery, "covert" racism, and some disgusting misogyny happened.(also in line with Twilight) and by the time human women were being torn apart by birthing hybrid babies of pure evil because male aliens were addicted to getting off and the women of their species weren't able to make that happen...

I am... I am going over there. I am going over there to consider never reading again. Because there is nothing in the world that will soothe my rage if I stop and think about that too long.
Profile Image for Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads).
710 reviews181 followers
September 18, 2017
At A Glance
It started out so good...
The Good
I have not accepted a review request for months (maybe almost a year). I am very selective now because of time constraints. But when I saw the title of this book, I had to try it. I mean, how can you not be lured in by this title? So I took the plunge.

It started out a little slow but picked up fast. When things started going to hell, I started to get really excited. So, yeah, the world is ending. People go crazy. Autumn may be the only hope to save them all. Complicated reasoning and history in between.

OMG, what Autumn went through was crazy and scary! But I love how she stayed pretty positive about everything. Autumn had me cracking up most of the time. Her mind works in mysterious ways. Tall hair Devon also had me doubling over. These two could put together a comedy show! Rigel flew under the radar for me, but I did like how he warmed up as the story went on.

Lots of crazy journeys ensue. Some good action and suspense. I have to admit, this is an interesting twist on why humans exist and Greek mythology. Hmm, I wonder...
The Bad
The slow start made me put the book down for long periods of time.

The info-dumps really dragged the book. I loved the world building and history lessons, but I think there were too many and/or they were too long. Something about them made me want to put the book down again.

But the worst part for me was the ending. This is a little spoilery. I am not going to say what exactly I didn't like about the ending but most of you who know me are going to guess correctly. I HATE books that end like this. It's one of my biggest book pet peeves. But what made it worse was that I was not prepared for it to end that way. The feel of the book was the complete opposite of what happened at the end. I was not mentally or emotionally prepared at all. I finished the last sentence and my stomach dropped, and I was sad/pissed/depressed the whole day. Though the book dealt with a serious matter, it was super silly and funny most of the time. Lots of serious situations were turned into a joke, but the ending just didn't work. Plus, there were these hints that this gloomy prophecy might be turned around in some way. Like it didn't have to end that way, something would happen to change it all. Well, I sure was wrong. I wish there were no little confusing hints to make me think things could turn out better because the sucker punch that followed left a sour taste in my mouth.
The Snuggly
A little bumpy and grindy, but very tastefully done. I wasn't really feeling the whole instant soul-mate thing though. I don't like insta-love in a matter of days. Just doesn't work for me.
Final Thoughts
I would have given this book 3 stars but the ending ruined it for me. I won't be continuing the series. I think some people will love this book, but it just wasn't for me.

“We humans are capable of incredible things. Our emotions can either be our biggest strength or our biggest weakness.”

 This review was originally posted on Bad Bird Reads
Profile Image for Diane Hernandez.
2,169 reviews32 followers
July 23, 2017
Genre-bending sci-fi mythological humorous apocalyptical romance.

Holy Crap! The World is Ending! has something for everyone. A woman meets her soulmate in a Barnes & Noble just as an asteroid is about to collide with Earth. There is something otherworldly about his looks but little does our heroine know. He is actually an alien sent to Earth to determine whether humankind can stop battling each other long enough to be moved to another planet.

Okay, the plot I just described seems lame but the book is actually fascinating and humorous. The author throws in hundreds of pop culture references (i.e., Harry Potter, Duck Dodgers, the illuminati, Bigfoot). There are many similarities between the alien names and Sumerian mythology. To say any more would be a spoiler. The romance is heartfelt and believable. The interactions between the heroine's friends are hilarious. Which would you say is more likely to float-a raft made of Twinkies or Ding Dongs? I have to side with the Ding Dongs personally.

Even though this book is hard to categorize to recommend it for a particular type of reader, that is also its charm. I would highly recommend it to anyone bored of formulaic stories. It would also be a good choice for fans of The Simpsons for its humor and free use of decades of pop culture references. It has some R-rated sex scenes so it wouldn't be appropriate for readers under 16.

Thanks to the publisher, Alien Abduction Press, and netgalley for an advance review copy in exchange for an honest review. This book will be published on September 21, 2017.
Profile Image for LJ (On The Shelf Reviews).
702 reviews30 followers
October 13, 2017
I have genuinely been putting this review off for weeks now. As a writer myself I understand how hard it is to sit down and write a book get it published then to have a stranger tell you that they don’t like it. Unfortunately that’s the case with this one.

I was drawn in by the quirky title and the sci-fi aspect of the story. It was showcased on NetGalley under the humour category but I think a lot of the humour went over my head.

I was expecting an action packed, funny, adventure, something along the lines of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and instead it seemed like more of a thinly disguised romance story.

It started talking about Light Beings, Sumerians and Anunnaki which were completely lost me.

I also found the main character, Autumn, (I think that was her name anyway it wasn’t mentioned
much in the book as it was written in the first person), annoying and her love interest/alien boring.

I tried several times to read to the end of the book but in the end I gave up.
Profile Image for C.E. Clayton.
Author 13 books245 followers
September 3, 2017
****I received an ARC copy from the author in exchange for an honest review****

The title of this book pretty much tells you everything you need to know about what you’ll find within its pages. Spoiler alert: earth is screwed. If any humans want to be spared, then our hope lays with Autumn, a klutzy young woman who’s day job is making infomercials, who needs to tell the rest of the human race to take a major chill pill, and come together singing kumbaya so the aliens will swoop down and save us. There’s a reason why this all sounds kind of silly, and that’s because that’s how the book is written (which, come on, is pretty obvious just by LOOKING at the cover, or reading the back blurb). So if you’re tired of all those serious end-of-day’s books, you know, the ones that result in redemption stories as the characters try to get back to normal life, then look no further. This book doesn’t deal with the aftermath of the end of the world (which should be self-explanatory as to why), but rather the humorous lead up to saving what remains of the human race. Who knew you could cram a decent amount of sex, food binge-fests, and bad puns, while the earth gets destroyed?

First things first, I need to put a trigger warning in here for attempted rape, it may be considered a spoiler but for some people, something like that needs to be spoiled, so there it is. Also, you’re going to need a healthy dose of either suspension of disbelief, or a basic belief in aliens, because Abell’s book could almost be considered a creation myth retelling, where the aliens play the role of God. Additionally, if you aren’t a fan of “bodice-ripper” like sex and romance scenes, or occasional cursing, then parts of the book may make you uncomfortable. It’s nothing super erotic, but it is there. So if things like that aren’t your thing, you may want to skip this one.

Abell’s book reminded me a lot of “The World’s End” movie with Simone Pegg and Nick Frost, mingled with a healthy dose of “Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy”, the book, not the movie. The story is silly, over the top, and full of quirky caricature-like characters that always crack an inappropriate joke while the world burns around them. For about the first half of the book, I was totally on-board for the humor, then things were getting serious (world getting pulverized seems kind of serious to me, but what do I know?), and I was waiting for Autumn and her friends to take a breath, and hunker down. Not that there shouldn’t have been a level of gallows humor involved in a situation that is ultimately inevitable, but whatever tension I may have felt for the situation just never happened, and at times it annoyed me because it gets hard to appreciate the humorous situations when they never end. It almost got monotonous, which is a weird thing but when strange things happen all the time that are supposed to be chuckle worthy, they no longer tickled me, and I was ready for Autumn and her friends to just grow up.

I enjoyed the character’s for the first maybe 60% of the book, then Devon, Rigel, Inanna, and pretty much everyone else all start sounding and acting just like Autumn. Previous stoic characters with their own quirks all develop the same sense of humor, and say things that all sound like the established main character. I still liked that she had friends along for the ride, but the shift confused me, and made me wonder why they were involved when all you really needed was Rigel and Autumn.

Also, I wished that we could have had Rigel and Autumn’s relationship progress a bit more to make the love feel real rather than just super lusty. I get it, he’s a Greek God looking alien and any sane woman would want to rip his clothes off, and when he feels the same about you, then yes, go to town! But there are a few uncomfortable conversations the pair have that Autumn shrugs off because they make Rigel squirm, like he’s afraid she won’t like him anymore if she knows the truth. But without that basis, I just never thought the relationship was all that real. It had its moments (outside of the sexy bits), but not enough to make me truly hot and bothered.

All in all, I enjoyed the book, and my observations are things I think can, and will, be addressed in book two (this is a trilogy, after all). I’m interested to see where Autumn and crew go after the end of the world, because following THAT is going to be hard to top, though I’m interested to see how Abell handles it, considering this book and its ending felt like a complete story without a ton of need for a second book. Her love and passion for aliens is evidenced in the amount of research she puts into the details of the different alien theorists, and how they tie into the creation myths we’ve all heard. It’s very creative, and I enjoyed the alternate reality she presents to the reader. I’m definitely on-board for the next book, and we’ll see where it progresses from there. But given the characters and the sheer amount of silliness in this first book, I can’t really give this book the full 4 stars, so 3.75 it is but will round up when I need to!
106 reviews
August 16, 2017
I recieved a copy of this book via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

More like 3.5 stars, but Goodreads does not let me do that.

The apocalypse is coming and it's going to be hilarious. The title "Holy Crap The World is Ending- how a trip to the bookstore led to sex with an alien and the destruction of earth" is misleading, I expected the book to be irreverent and a little like Katy Perry's song E.T.

The book is irreverent, delightfully so, surprisingly enough the alien sex was not milked for what it was worth and made the focus. In fact the romance in this story was secondary to the plot (I enjoyed this), too often books are very romance centric, and the plot is an afterthought, I am also reasonably certain that this book passes the bechdel test.

This book will make conspiracy theorists either very happy or livid. The book connects the Illuminati, ancient egyptian gods, Gilgamesh, the lost city of Atlantis, among others to aliens in the most hilarious ways.

I was worried at first because the book started of very Twilight-esque. Ordinary girl meets glowing being much older than her, who at first tries to run away, then insta-love. The beginning follows the same formula. But I needn't have worried, that is where the similarities end. The story is very plot driven and all the characters have distinct relatable personalities. In fact at certain points (I could be imagining this) it felt like the book was mocking other novels that follow the vampire trope (particularily Twilight in a number of places, I approved). I would also like to add that reading about aliens instead of vampires or werewolves was a pleasant and refreshing change.

I liked the protagonist Autumn, she was funny, relatable and as far off from a Mary Sue as one can get. She doesn't take herself too seriously, and jokes like a stand-up comedian. The love interest Rigel is not an asshole alpha male which makes for good reading. All supporting characters including the villain are also hilarious and well written. Their motives, likes and dislikes are very clear.

I had few issues with the book, but what I did have problems with I felt really detracted from it. The prologue was difficult to get through (but it was worth it), the story a bit too long with too much jammed in. It was becoming a series of unfortunate events after a point.

But what I really liked is that the heroine saves herself and everyone else in this one, and that makes me really, really proud.
Profile Image for Cassandra.
339 reviews23 followers
August 29, 2017
Handsome Greek Gods, binge eating, Humor, and more... What is there not to enjoy about this book?! Okay, the title alone tells us that the world is ending and yeah, that is a very good possibility. Unless our heroine Autumn, her Greek God lover Rigel, her BFF Emma, and the hair guy can save us! There are more characters, but we will focus on those who are actively trying to save the world. I am not even going to go into details about Wal-Mart. I do not want to spoil that fun for you! There are a lot of laughs in this book. Many of them are sarcastic, which is probably why I totally appreciated them! The author tells us at the end of the book about her research into many of the situations and characters in the story. That reading was interesting also, but not required for enjoying this book! The ending was a bit abrupt and I guess I would have preferred it ending a bit differently. I would have liked it different and I would have liked more about what happens next. But the story was funny, and if you like hot steamy romance, there is a bit of that also. Not too much, but yeah it is there. EDIT: After I posted my review, I received an email from the author letting me know that this is book one of a trilogy. WOOHOO!! Totally changes the end of the world for me and for Autumn and her friends also.
4.5 rounded to 5 for this funny, sarcastic, and sexy look at the apocalypse.
Profile Image for Emmie.
1,278 reviews3 followers
October 20, 2017
Once again I wish Goodreads and all other platforms that awards stars had the half star. I would give this 2.5 stars

The title and cover drew me to this book. It gave me the impression that it will be somthing similar to Gail Koger and S.E. Smith.

I have to admit that, for me, it did not make the cut. It had laugh out loud moments, the premise is actually very good, the characters outrageous and the dialougue quite sharp. It just did not come together for me. I did not feel any connection to the characters and the story line.

It is quite sad, because this book has a lot of potential. I feel with some editing, cutting out of some history lessons, and so forth it would be very good. It dragged a bit too much.

Without giving too much away I want to gripe about the ending. One of my major pet peeves.... the dreaded cliff hanger. Seriously?

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with the opportunity to read and review this book.
Profile Image for Sarah G.
608 reviews6 followers
August 23, 2018
I think the title kind of says it all really so just hold on for a fun filled ride with lots of food thrown in for good measure – you’ll get that when you read it! You will find that Autumn likes her ‘what if’ questions. Not simple ones either, more like ‘what if flaming cats came out of his eyes’, you know that sort of thing.

So Autumn gets a shocked first encounter with ‘Mr. New Age’ at the bookstore. He seems to be a little different than other guys she’s met. Well with him being part of an alien race called Anunnaki from Nibiru, or what we call Planet X, it would kind of make sense. Seems this planet comes close to Earth every few thousand years. Just not as a good omen as last time it caused the great flood – you know the one with Noah. Now this race it seems appeared to have created humans – among other mythical creatures that is; mermaids, centaurs, unicorns and dragons to name a few. Creative bunch you could say. Meeting once would be a chance encounter but more than once, along with a feeling of being watched, you know that Autumn is going to want some answers to why she feels so connected to someone she doesn’t know.

Seems Rigel, aka Mr. New Age, has a bit of explaining to do about light beings and why he seems to be keeping an eye on her. His kind first came to Earth to mine its gold and that’s why they created the human race, to mine for them. They also realised that if they ingested the gold in liquid form then they could live longer and eventually morph into light. Nice quick way to get around it seems.

Seems their souls are calling each other, connected in a way that pulls the other near. Out of body experiences to get closer to the other? Hot connection to the extreme. Well this kind of connection between them might have to take a back seat though when her over active mind starts ticking things over. Namely by finding out said Planet X is coming in close again to Earth. So what if the Anunnaki have decided to fix another mistake in their design by wiping the humans out again so they can start the whole process over – the flood 2.0?

Some research is in order and this is where her bookstore buddy comes into play. ‘The Hair’ come ‘Zarf’, though real name Devon, is there to lend a hand – even if he thinks her a little strange with what she is looking for. Quick off the mark giving a space name when she asked, as she had been wanting to find out information on light beings. He’s Zarf and she’s Zooloo and both as quirky as the other. Looking into Greek myths to see what happened when a God would punish someone for breaking a rule is enough to make her question whether she should really see Rigel again. An Anunnaki and human cannot be together, not anymore anyway as they know what a possible outcome would be. Half gods, half humans – Nephilim – with none of the humans’ compassion but all gods’ strength and height. Something that could fight them it seems. Also seems all Anunnaki have gifts, not good when directed at you.

Myth goes that God created the universe down to a tee but to do so he had to create enough of a spark – hello big bang. This in turn split his soul in two. Great Prophecy says that these two souls will be drawn back together to create balance, for the universes to become one. They would tie back together with one blue light and one gold so the Creator would be made whole again. The thing is Autumn has a blue soul. Would this be the start of the Prophecy or the start of a terrible downfall?

Inanna was an interesting character who is the enforcer of the no mating rule between humans and the Anunnaki. She shows up at just the wrong time for Autumn’s liking. Sparks and souls were literally flying. Autumn’s best friend Emma seems to take her crazy explanations in her stride. Oh sure ok you met an alien, the race that created us, had an orgasmic kiss/soul explosion and the world might be coming to an end. Ok let’s eat while we can. Enlil on the other hand is a right dick who clearly isn’t on humans’ side. He just wants them gone, no matter what the prophecy could mean. The fact Autumn could be a part of it just winds him up even further. Good job that Inanna seems to be coming round and might be able to help. Enki needs to help too by finding another loophole like he did with Noah and his wife with the Ark – one that won’t end with a sacrifice.

Space ship to fly and Devon is like a kid in a toyshop begging to be allowed to play with it. Fab four at the end trying to save the world – Autumn, Rigel, Devon and Inanna. Shame Enlil is finding loopholes to slow them down – post-it notes are funny though.

A race against time to save the human race, let’s see if they make it? A funny, sci-fi, comedy read with a bit of romance thrown in for good measure. The power of the pinecone might be what saves the day but what is the price and are they willing to pay it? Got going a bit more from half way onwards but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I received a copy of this book from the author via NetGalley for my honest review.
Profile Image for Jennifer Tooker.
362 reviews11 followers
September 21, 2017
A hilarious end of the world adventure

Full disclosure – I was provided a copy of this book by the author however I have voluntarily chosen to write a review. All opinions are my own.

Autumn is your typical semi socially awkward twenty something living in Southern California. Working for an advertising agency her favorite free time activity is her regular pig out sessions with her bestie artist Emma. On one such pig out eve, Autumn makes a quick stop at the local Barnes & Noble to look for a book on Light Beings when she encounters the most incredible specimen of manhood she could ever dream. Dubbing him “New Age Guy” due to his placement in the exact section she was headed for, Autumn becomes obsessed with this guy and after telling Emma about him is determined to find out more about this mysterious man.

Aptly named, Rigel has come to Earth from the planet Nibiru as an observer to the inevitable collision of one of his planet’s moons into Earth. Rigel also finds himself inexplicably drawn to this quirky Earth woman and seeks out more interaction with her against the wishes of his own kind and at the peril of death. Tossed into a forbidden whirlwind romance with an alien, Autumn is warped into the middle of her own space odyssey as she finds herself among alien spaceships, conspiracy theories and eons old prophecies that may result in her own demise. The race is on to save the human race with Autumn the most unlikely of saviors. Is there at least time for one more Twinkie?

Holy Crap! The World is Ending is the first book in the Anunnaki Chronicles by Anna-Marie Abell and takes the “end of the world” story line on a whole new journey. What if humans were created by alien life forms to do their bidding? What if alien life forms have been working with the Earth’s governmental superpowers all along and their existence has been kept a big secret from the rest of the Earth? Just how strong is number 12 hairspray and why are there so many darned Wal Marts all over the place? Holy Crap attempts to answer these and many more burning questions in this hilariously brilliant read.

Anna-Marie Abell has succeeded in weaving her years of study into in the ancient Sumerian culture and their gods with common conspiracy theories, pop culture and random human quirkiness into an out of this world end times romp that will have you laughing out loud at the most inappropriate times and possibly even shedding a tear or two before it’s all said and done. I couldn’t help but notice the politics of the politics of the Anunnaki to be eerily like that of Earth. At one point, there is a protest on Nibiru that could easily have been Anycity, U.S.A. Little things like this for me made this less of a super heavy Sci Fi book and more of a “Hey, look at that, what if they are like us!” sort of book. Another thing that really stood out for me was the addition of real people, places and podcasts to the narrative. This clever addition works twofold and functions a primer of resource material for those who find the Anunnaki intriguing. I, for one, have taken a deeper look at a few of her sources since reading this book. With this being the first in the Anunnaki Chronicles, Abell has set the bar high and it will be interesting to see where the Chronicles go from here. If this first book is any indication, it will be well worth the read.
Profile Image for BookWormYami.
385 reviews12 followers
February 14, 2018
4.5 stars.
When I first read the title of this book I was like "That title is crazy. I have to read this book." I'm so glad I did. I really enjoyed the heck out of this book! I can't wait to read part 2. This book had a little bit of everything, romance, adventure, friendship, aliens, the world ending. You name it, it probably has it!
The characters were well and so was the story. It had me so intrigued and I had to keep going to see how it was going to end. I especially loved how the author incorporated real ancient alien things into her story. (Yes I do believe in aliens.)
Sometimes the jokes got a little lame but I could over look it.
Profile Image for Bob Platypire.
240 reviews6 followers
December 22, 2017
This is so much freaking fun! Obviously, I was gonna read it as soon as I saw the title, regardless of what genre it actually fell into. And, lucky for me, it was great! The characters are really well written, and I loved reading about them. The back and forths are awesome, and the story had a pretty good flow to it. It had a tendency to drag a little on occasion, but nothing that really brought me out of the story. I highly recommend this to anyone who needs a giggle.

Bob says: 4 Platypires!
Profile Image for Steven.
Author 41 books160 followers
March 3, 2018
Not my usual read but I gained a copy from The author for an honest review.

I’d never have thought you could mix Zachariah Stitchen’s theories with a hot & heavy romance & a comedy for geeks....and yet this book delivers all that in a fun & fast-paced story. I’ll be checking out more by this author simply from how much this book made me smile & snicker.
Profile Image for Jill Elizabeth.
1,590 reviews36 followers
March 15, 2018
What an awesomely fun read this was! Abell has managed to write a clever, interesting, snarky conspiracy-alien-Annunaki-ancient civilizations tale that not only grabbed me from the first pages, it doggedly refused to let go until the bitter end... I tend to shy away from conspiracy theory stuff, it usually irks me. But this was so marvelous and darkly funny and twisted that I couldn't help but laugh out loud and flip pages faster and faster as the shenanigans wove on. On top of the clear, engaging writing, there are darling cute line drawings sprinkled throughout that highlight tidbits of the story, and they are a fantastic and fun way of creating emphasis and feeling like a knowing nod at the ridiculousness of life simultaneously.

The characters are well-crafted and engaging, with enough quirks and foibles to please the most discerning judge. The plot clicks along at a pleasant pace, speeding up and slowing down at just the right points. There are more books coming, and I for one cannot wait to see them. Abell has a talent for writing engaging and fun fiction that blends sci-fi and conspiracies and love stories (of the best, most unconventional, and yet utterly relatable kind) and end-of-the-world mayhem into a smoothie of fabulousness that tickles as it goes down. I cannot say enough good things - definitely pick this one up if you like your sci-fi with a healthy dose of silliness and self-deprecating humor.

My review copy was provided free of charge. This in no way influenced my review. I'd have paid good money for this one - gladly!
Profile Image for Sarah.
42 reviews1 follower
August 8, 2017
*4 Stars*

I received a copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I spent a long time trying to come up with the right words to describe this book. I came to the conclusion that perhaps, there are none. It's a roller coaster ride from start to finish, with mentions of tons of conspiracy theories, pop culture references, nerdy jokes, and last but not least, romance with an alien. If I had to describe this book in one word, it would be hilarious.

Autumn meets a man in a bookstore and has an instant connection. As it turns out, he is an alien. There's some bad news though, it's the end times, and it's up to Autumn to save the human race. Her alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend race to find a race to save humanity, fighting through obstacles and other, more evil, aliens along the way.

This was a fun and crazy ride. I do want to let people know, however, that there is a rape scene in this book. It kind of came out the blue for me, and I know some people are traumatized by these events and do not want to read about them in otherwise lighthearted fiction.
Profile Image for Michelle Parrish.
11 reviews1 follower
October 9, 2017
I was given a copy of this for an honest review! OMG this book is so funny! I wait for the 2nd book! The characters are fun and well written and the story line is original. I don't like to be told about a book in detail, I like to know if I should read it and if the story is well written. SO YES AND YES!! Read this book!!
Profile Image for Cyliena.
102 reviews
August 24, 2017
Unique, bizarre, interesting, funny, outlandish. Non-spoiler alert: the Earth is going to be destroyed.

I received an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I was angry when I originally finished Holy Crap!, but at the time it was unclear on Netgalley that it was book one of a trilogy. The author reached out and explained this, and with that understanding the unresolved ending makes sense. However, consider that a warning if you're someone who doesn't like diving into a series before it's completed.

Our leading lady, Autumn, is (mostly) just an average girl who loves to have the occasional binge-eating session with her best friend. She is also really into aliens and conspiracies, and when she meets a mysterious man at a bookstore, she's hooked.

"Truth be told, I'm not sure if deep down I believed in all these things, or if I just wanted them to be real, so I'd have something to hope for beyond the monotony of human life."

Rigel, our mysterious alien-man, is (mostly) just an average Anunnaki. Well... maybe? One of the detractors of this book is that while we find out a lot about Autumn, we don't discover much about Rigel personally (aside from who he is among the Anunnaki). Several times something is alluded to, only to not be explained or answered. While it's safe to assume that future books will delve into these topics, it's frustrating to encounter pointless information and feel like Rigel is still such an unknown factor.

There is thorough immersion into who the Anunnaki are, where they come from, and their relationship with the Earth. The book gives an alternate look at humans, their origins, and their purpose. More is left to be discovered, but for the purposes of this part of the story, a lot of information is revealed.

Holy Crap! is humorous yet dark in places . Humanity loses their minds and does both imaginable and unimaginable things. The jokes bring some much-needed levity into a dark situation. Expect the first half of the book to be mostly humorous, while the second half is nearly bogged with craziness, revelations, and events.
Profile Image for Jackie Severs.
11 reviews1 follower
August 3, 2017
An unusual take on the end of the world as we know it. Autumn meets a hunky man in a bookstore and falls completely in love. It turns out Rigel is an alien, part of the race here to decide if humanity is worth having.
Autumn and Rigel battle against the odds to help save mankind. Along the way we find out the truth behind our myths and legends. A thoroughly enjoyable read.
Profile Image for Paul Franco.
1,372 reviews11 followers
December 31, 2017
“It was a fairly warm night, a typical summer evening in Southern California.” You know that when a book starts like that, things are gonna get crazy. There’s also what might be the weirdest intro ever, but it sure did the job of preparing me for what was to come.
Which was basically: Earth is about to be destroyed; there’s a way to save humanity; some aliens want to, some don’t; aliens are among us, some of them very sexy; a seemingly ordinary girl is the Chosen One to save the planet.
It’s really cutesy, and somehow it managed to go through the entire book without overdoing it, which might be the most impressive thing. Things get crazy, but oddly enough after a while they get a bit predictable, but at least it’s funnier than previous tries of this kind of story. Even the fact that Part 2 starts at 89% made me laugh. But the most humorous stuff has to be the funny/weird tiny full-color drawings. The cow will haunt me despite her innocent look, especially the one where she’s holding a rose and a bottle of alien wine. . . while wearing a space helmet. In another she’s holding an ankh; I don’t know if I find that more weird or more normal.
I love the contents of the ark of the covenant, so much better than Indy’s version. The historical stuff all goes together nicely. . . if, you know, aliens.
Somewhere along the line the author decided to redeem Inanna, and boy did it work! Big time! I love her now.
Okay, a lot of research went into this. Felt a bit giddy whenever I recognized something, like Gilgamesh. The material is obviously taken seriously by the author, which is why it’s such a surprise that this book was just so darned funny, and fun. You hear a lot about wacky adventures, but this one actually lives up to the billing. More than anything, I have no idea if I would run away screaming or fall in love if I ever met Amber.
Profile Image for Boundless Book Reviews.
2,242 reviews65 followers
September 21, 2017
I voluntarily received a copy of this novel via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.  

This book is hard for me to rate because I did find it interesting, amusing and entertaining a lot of the time; but It also just drug on and on.   I always enjoy anytime authors can put their own spin on current theology and how the world came to be.  It is abundantly clear that Abell put loads of time and effort into researching every aspect of this novel.  Yet it felt like she also wanted to cram every bit of that research into the novel.  What kept coming to mind was that much of this story needed to be edited down.

There were just so much that was superfluous I almost gave the book a DNF at 50%.  But like I stated, it is very well thought out and can be amusing and entertaining.  I think if Abell worked with a great content editor she could make this book something great.  The only other complaint I had was towards the end, she had both Autumn and Devon acting like immature children.  It got really annoying. 

Overall I really wanted to love this book, I did, it has all the usual aspects that make me fall in love with a story.  It just went on and on and on and I wound up skimming those superfluous paragraphs and just getting to the meat of the story.   With that, I am rating Holy Crap! The World is Ending!: How a Trip to the Bookstore Led to Sex with an Alien and the Destruction of Earth, 2.5 Boundless stars, it really could have been better but I did enjoy it at times. 


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