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I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics: How to Protect Your Intimate Relationships in a Poisonous Partisan World
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I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics: How to Protect Your Intimate Relationships in a Poisonous Partisan World

3.21  ·  Rating details ·  68 ratings  ·  22 reviews
Do you thrust unsolicited partisan articles upon your spouse? Are you convinced that you can change your coworker's mind, if you could only argue forcefully enough? Have you gone from befriending to "defriending" the people once closest to you? Don't give up hope; Dr. Jeanne Safer is here to help.

Since the election of Donald J. Trump, political disagreements ha
Hardcover, 240 pages
Published June 11th 2019 by All Points Books
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Average rating 3.21  · 
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 ·  68 ratings  ·  22 reviews

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Jul 13, 2019 rated it did not like it
Nope nope nope. I was looking for a book that would help me talk to my father about politics without having to tell him I can’t muster the emotional capacity for such a conversation. None of the examples in the book reflected our relationship, in fact many of the father/child relationships were explained away by elderly parents starting Alzheimer’s or other similar mental deficiencies. My father may be in his 70s but he is still sharp.

Further, the rest of the book actually spent very little tim
Mar 29, 2019 added it
Shelves: on-kindle
I was originally attracted to this book because my husband and I have very different political views so I was curious about what the author would have to say about it. A few chapters in, I thought that it wasn't the book for me because it seemed to be about couples (or friends or family members) that fought about politics and it was threatening their relationship. My husband and I don't fight about our politics so I was having a hard time relating. I kept on reading, though and found it to be ve ...more
Cristie Underwood
Jun 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: kindle
This is a much needed book in our current political climate for many people! My husband and I are Democrats and politics always seems to come up when we go visit my Republican family. This book gave some great tips on how to avoid conflict. Highly recommend!
Heidi Thiel
Jul 13, 2019 rated it liked it
I appreciated the main theme of this book, which was that political views are not at all an indication of moral character. The author backs up this claim well with numerous examples, the most compelling of which was the woman who's conservative uncle was the only family member to come to her aid when multiple tragedies struck her life, despite their estrangement due to political issues. The author's own relationship with her husband also presented an interesting viewpoint into mixed political co ...more
Jul 02, 2019 rated it liked it
I don't have an intimate relationship with a Trump supporter and neither does the author. She is liberal and her husband is conservative and they both disaprove of Trump. She writes as though the conservative/liberal divide is equivalent to the Trump/anti-Trump divide. Not the same thing at all. Trump supporters don't support him because he is conservative (he isn't) - there is some other reason that they claim to feel so strongly about his policies (supply-side economics, inhumane border contro ...more
Clara Hill
Jun 23, 2019 rated it did not like it
At the beginning of this book, she says don’t apply these rules to sexist, homophobic and racist beliefs. IF YOU SUPPORT TRUMP, you support sexist, homophobic and racist beliefs.

Yes, it’s complicated but I will never date a trump supporter. Also the Republican Party is a terrorist organisation in the words of Lauren Duca. Also, never kiss a Tory.
Sep 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
I read an article a few weeks ago by Kathryn Jean Lopez after her reading of this book. The title made me chuckle, so I headed off to the library to pick up a copy. The night I started it I had dinner with a friend and I was telling her about the author’s situation. She’s a strong left-leaning liberal, and he’s a strong right-leaning conservative. They’ve been married for 42 years.
As I was reading through the book I was trying to find her bias (she laid out her position from the beg
William Schram
Politics has become a polarizing hot-button issue. This has been happening for a long time since the development of political parties, but now with Donald J Trump as President of the United States, it seems to have taken a drastic turn for the worse. Dr. Jeanne Safer has a solution for this, but it involves being open-minded and accepting of other people’s opinions and values. If you really value your relationships, this is a panacea you must take.

This book is really short, so it goe
Jane Morrison
Sep 14, 2019 rated it did not like it
I dont usually bother to leave negative reviews but I was frustrated and disappointed by this book and the privilege required to actually apply its advice. For many people politics is not just something that can be picked up and put on the shelf, their identities and existence are under attack. I was hoping to find techniques for how to improve my communication with those I care about who disagree with me but I dont really feel this has helped me. With rising inequality and polarisation in the w ...more
Jul 28, 2019 rated it liked it
Politics are perhaps more contentious now than they have ever been before. At least in my recent memory. How do we navigate relationships where we differ politically? Is it possible to love those from the other side? This book explore these questions and takes the reader through different types of relationship, sharing stories from people all over the country. This book is a great introduction to the topic and felt bipartisan in its approach. However, I could have used more application and advic ...more
Jun 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: politics, psychology
In our increasingly polarized world, we probably all know someone who's political leanings cause tension in our relationship, be it partner, family member, or friend. This book teaches you how to look at what drives your political battles with loved ones and how to maintain your ideals while also maintaining your relationships. Definitely a book we need in this day and age of angry online debates and unfriending over memes.
Sep 19, 2019 rated it liked it
On the whole, there is much good advice about how to interact with your partner or close friends who have diametrically opposing political views. No reason to try and summarize them here, just read the book with an open mind regarding how to discuss or, in some cases, not to discuss both your and your partner’s political beliefs.
Jim Cullison
Jul 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
An outstanding and absolutely vital book for our age. Marvelously written with valuable insights and advice for circumventing land mines sewn by "politics" in The Age of Social Media. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Michael E. McCullough
Ok book, but most of it is common sense that decent people used to follow. Most importantly is the truism you cannot change others. I liked the fact that she and her spouse are on opposite sides but have been married for many years and they love each other.
Sara Smith
Aug 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
I was hoping for more, but it did get me to see the situation in a bit of a different light so that I can change how I respond in the future.
Jul 09, 2019 rated it liked it
Book was ok. Just skip to the last chapter.
Sep 09, 2019 rated it liked it
Didn’t quite give me the tips I was hoping for but still a decent read
Rick Hammond
Aug 27, 2019 rated it liked it
I’m a super lefty, with many very close Wright wing friends, plus a conservative girlfriend who I love. So I related to a lot of the stories in this book.
Sep 20, 2019 rated it it was ok
I thought the main points provided sound insight, but the book was excessively padded by each chapter being more examples of variations on a theme.
Jul 28, 2019 rated it liked it
Some good points but not all that I wanted it to be
Laura Payne
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Oct 15, 2019
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Jul 21, 2019
rated it did not like it
Sep 20, 2019
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Jul 31, 2019
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Jul 21, 2019
Donna Ludwig
rated it it was ok
Jul 30, 2019
rated it liked it
Oct 04, 2019
rated it liked it
Sep 28, 2019
Jamie Hartnett
rated it it was amazing
Aug 22, 2019
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Jeanne Safer, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in New York City, is the author of The Golden Condom, Beyond Motherhood, The Normal One, and several other books. Dr. Safer has appeared on The Daily Show and Good Morning America as well as numerous NPR broadcasts. Her work has been the subject of articles in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. She is the host of the I Love You, But I Hate Your P ...more