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What Matters Most when NO is better than YES
This small book will call to you on days that the janitor reads you the riot act, the church secretary jumps down your throat and those home school parents just won't leave you alone. In this book, Doug Fields shares the wisdom that has helped him survive over 25 years in Just say No. That two letter word (that often feels like a four letter word to some people!) has the power to help you stay in ministry for the long haul and keep your family intact and thriving. From the Jesus said 'no' to good things... 'no' to significant things... 'no' to important people. He was 100%God/100% human and he had limits. He needed solitude. He needed time to reflect and pray and nourish his spiritual life and time away from those bonehead disciples. He needed space. And, Jesus had a lot to do. You try being the Savior of the world! He had a short window to accomplish his life mission and yet he seemed to prioritize and live so different than we do. To say 'no' in ministry is to be radical...to be radical is to be counter-cultural...to be counter-cultural is to be like Jesus...to be like Jesus should become our goal.
96 pages, Hardcover
First published November 1, 2006
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53 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
November 18, 2020
An amazing book that conveys a simple concept that I think most ministry leaders need to hear.
December 26, 2023
Great little book full of helpful and practical tips and advice for cutting busyness and making space for what matters most.
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February 23, 2009In What Matters Most, Fields says, "You need to learn to say no to many good things and wonderful people so you'll have space to say yes to God, yes to the important people in your life [like your family and friends:], yes to priorities - yes to what matters most" (p. 21).
What does matter most to you? I think that's why I like Fields' book so much. He doesn't presume to know what your top priorities are, because they are different for everyone. But here's his advice to discover what matters most to you right now:
* Make a list.
* Then, next to each answer, write a short description of why you believe that particular person or thing deserves a spot on the list of what matters most.
* Sort your list into topics (relationships, personal development, spiritual growth, professional, and so on).
* Keep this list with you at all times and read it often.
This list will help you filter your time and priorities when you difficult decisions to make. When those decisions come your way, ask yourself these questions:
1) What matters most in this situation?
2) Why do I really feel like saying yes?
3) What's the worst that can happen if I say no?
What does matter most to you? I think that's why I like Fields' book so much. He doesn't presume to know what your top priorities are, because they are different for everyone. But here's his advice to discover what matters most to you right now:
* Make a list.
* Then, next to each answer, write a short description of why you believe that particular person or thing deserves a spot on the list of what matters most.
* Sort your list into topics (relationships, personal development, spiritual growth, professional, and so on).
* Keep this list with you at all times and read it often.
This list will help you filter your time and priorities when you difficult decisions to make. When those decisions come your way, ask yourself these questions:
1) What matters most in this situation?
2) Why do I really feel like saying yes?
3) What's the worst that can happen if I say no?
May 5, 2011
A while back, my friend, Daniel, loaned me this book to read. I never got around to it until last weekend, but I don't think the timing could have been any more perfect. I've been praying that God would help me to bring proper focus into my life, and this is one of the themes of this little book. Doug Fields wrote this very short book to youth workers in order to encourage them to determine which parts of their ministry are life-giving, and which parts are leading to spiritual emptiness. He proposes three things to consider that will make your ministry more effective:
1.) Define what matters most.
2.) Ask some tough questions of yourself.
3.) Add "No" to your vocabulary.
Throughout the book, he often argues that saying, "No," even to good ministry opportunities, may be the best thing you can do if the opportunities conflict with what matters most in your personal and professional life. This was a fantastic, encouraging, and motivational read. I would highly recommend it to those in ministry.
1.) Define what matters most.
2.) Ask some tough questions of yourself.
3.) Add "No" to your vocabulary.
Throughout the book, he often argues that saying, "No," even to good ministry opportunities, may be the best thing you can do if the opportunities conflict with what matters most in your personal and professional life. This was a fantastic, encouraging, and motivational read. I would highly recommend it to those in ministry.
May 17, 2016
Doug Fields essentially calls people to say ‘no’ more often, that over-busyness can kill the soul, that saying ‘yes’ to everything and everyone leads to a crash. At the heart of our society is the view that we must be busy to be meaningful, the more purpose, drive, action we have the better.
In contrast of course there’s a whole generation that have the opposite – no purpose, no drive and not enough action. They need to do something, anything while the majority need to slow down.
If we all heeded Doug’s advice – quality of life would go up. This is a call for quality over quantity and a fresh focus on the most important things. It’s not the only book, it’s not even a brilliant book saying nothing particularly new – but it communicates its message well and for those that read it – I’m sure it will have an impact.
In contrast of course there’s a whole generation that have the opposite – no purpose, no drive and not enough action. They need to do something, anything while the majority need to slow down.
If we all heeded Doug’s advice – quality of life would go up. This is a call for quality over quantity and a fresh focus on the most important things. It’s not the only book, it’s not even a brilliant book saying nothing particularly new – but it communicates its message well and for those that read it – I’m sure it will have an impact.
September 26, 2014
Trouble prioritizing? Juggling way too many projects? Starting to not care? Are you burning out? Written by a youth minister, this book will tell you how to get focused on what is most important to you.
You can read this book in an hour-the margins are huge, and it's just about 50 pages. But what you can take away from it is so much more powerful and long lasting.
The message applies to anyone who has trouble organizing their lives. The author's goal is to prevent burnout from having too many good intentions. There are questions that help you reflect. The best part that you don't need much time to reflect on them, and you can use them to check in and see how you well you are balancing your priorities.
You can read this book in an hour-the margins are huge, and it's just about 50 pages. But what you can take away from it is so much more powerful and long lasting.
The message applies to anyone who has trouble organizing their lives. The author's goal is to prevent burnout from having too many good intentions. There are questions that help you reflect. The best part that you don't need much time to reflect on them, and you can use them to check in and see how you well you are balancing your priorities.
June 9, 2013
3.5 - Quick easy read. I have no doubt spending the hour reading this will help me make a better decision or two in the near future.
Ahhhhh, the power of opening a can of NO! I'm actually looking forward to the next chance to do so. Thanks Doug!
Ahhhhh, the power of opening a can of NO! I'm actually looking forward to the next chance to do so. Thanks Doug!
August 2, 2011
this is a great book. If you feel overwhelmed, give yourself a few hours to read this and you'll be motivated to say no for the sake of sanity.
August 8, 2011
Learn how to say "no" in ministry. This is a great, short book that helps drive this point home. I read the whole thing in 2 days.
December 9, 2011
Quick pep talk on saying No and keeping busyness away so as to focus on what matters most.
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October 11, 2012A good read for people in ministry. Especially youth ministry!
February 1, 2016
I think this book has a lot of overlooked truth for us in ministry. Doug speaks directly to pastors, but people in any position could learn from thsi art of saying 'no'.
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February 20, 2016it is okay to say no
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews