The Baby Loss Guide: Practical and compassionate support with a day-by-day resource to navigate the path of grief

by Zoe Clark-Coates

Written by one of the world's leading baby loss support experts, The Baby Loss Guide is designed to help you navigate this complex issue. Whether you have personally encountered loss, or are supporting people through this harrowing time, this book provides practical and compassionate advice.

Zoe and her husband Andy have personally faced the loss of five babies. Out of their experiences came the charity The Mariposa Trust (more often known by its primary division Saying Goodbye), offering support to thousands of grieving parents and relatives around the world each week. In her first bestselling book Saying Goodbye Zoe wrote a moving account of their experiences and how they found a way through loss.

In The Baby Loss Guide Zoe provides a supportive and practical guide to walk people through their darkest days of suffering and gives them hope for the future. The first half of the book answers the many questions those who encounter loss ask themselves and others, and until now have resulted in people spending hours exploring the internet to gain answers and insight. It is interlaced with personal stories from both men and women who have been there, and tackles the many myths, taboos and assumptions around loss. It also provides clear guidance and advice on how to navigate life following your world imploding, such How do I return to work? How do I know if or when I should try again for more children? How do I communicate with my partner about loss?

The second half of the book offers 60-days of practical and compassionate support. Whether someone's loss be recent or historic, this support will be a wonderful gift, and will help the person walk the scary path of grief. Zoe's friendly and down to earth approach means she removes the often over used medical terminology, and this makes The Baby Loss Guide readable, easy to absorb and a vital source of information and help.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief

272 pages, Hardcover

Published October 22, 2019

Reviews

[Brittany Bresnahan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was given to me in the hospital. In the beginning of this book, there were some black and white views. She had said something to the effect of you are either going to be okay or absolutely devastated. Grief is not black and white. There are in-betweens. As the book went on, it seemed to be more open about different levels of grief and how everyone will process differently. The beginning just threw me off a bit because I didn’t feel okay or absolutely devastated. I felt somewhere in-between, and those in-betweens change throughout the day. Overall, it’s a good book and it’s nice to hear other people’s stories.

[Michaela Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book was helpful to an extent, it feels as though the author is assuming that a book can have all of the answers. I think it's difficult when the person writing the book hasn't experienced the same kind of loss as you and attempts to scoop everyone up. I feel that this book is most helpful if you have had an early miscarriage (as someone who has had both multiple early miscarriages and a late-term pregnancy loss). The truth is that a book will never get you through the grief of child loss, but it may well help you process some of the feelings surrounding that and hopefully bring you a little bit of comfort.

[Rupreet Mead · Rating 5 out of 5]

On a dark day where grief decides to hit months after the fact, I picked up this book and read it in one sitting. Multiple pages are marked to remind me of the process when it inevitably comes round again.

[Charlotte Peacock · Rating 2 out of 5]

It helped in some ways. However, having never experienced a stillbirth I feel the author cannot possibly know how I feel or how I should work through my feelings. Also she is very quick to suggest counselling at every turn, unfortunately that's not possible for everyone. This is probably a useful book if you have experienced early miscarriage but not so much if you have experienced stillbirth or neonatal death. They are not the same experience as a miscarriage, they have similarities but they will always be different and the grief will be different.

[Mckall Dodd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I’d discovered this book sooner, in my earliest stages of grief. I marked up many pages. I will be re reading it for times to come, and recommending it to all those who have dealt with baby loss/infertility.

[Natália Lichtner · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Sometimes we won´t know why things happen, and why some have had to say goodbye before others can say hello, but we don´t need to torture ourselves with the questions. We can just love the ones we have lost and love the ones here with us.”


Highly recommended for anyone who has just suffered an early loss. It’s also great for family members or friends who don’t know what to say (or what not to say), how to react, or what to ask/not to ask. There are a couple of pages dedicated just for them.

You are not alone 💔👼🏻

[Sophiebeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant book that helps deal with the pain of loss. The author Zoe is holding your hand throughout the book and explains lots of detail around the difficult topic of baby loss. The little daily tasks are really helpful to help you deal with grief. Off to fill in my journal now. I know this book will definitely fix lots of broken hearts.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just wonderful. Zoe just GETS it. Having walked through the pain herself a number of times she understands what it feels like to lose your baby. How it shakes your world. I can't recommend this book highly enough - she's a friend to you through the pages.

[Robyn Rosencutter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best, best, best book on the subject! I snagged the Audible version since it's not out in the U.S. until October. So informative without being overwhelming. Includes the many different kinds of baby loss. Though this book is not as faith-filled as others I have read, I think that does make it able to reach a broader audience, and the author does still mention how crucial her faith was in her own healing. Zoe makes you feel normal in your grief (the good, the bad, and the ugly!) and there are months of journaling prompts and tasks to help on your journey. I will be purchasing the physical copy as soon as it is available here so that I may have this section to work in (though she does still read through the prompts in the audiobook). Thank you, Zoe!

[Nicola · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been such a huge help to me after a recent experience of pregnancy loss. I find it really emphatically written whilst always acknowledging there is no right or wrong way to respond. It features many people sharing the experience they had including dad's and partners which we found helped us feel less isolated. It combines medical and emotional information and is well balanced. The journalling section also helped me work through the feelings I was experiencing and whilst there are no magic answers I just found it a fantastic support and highly recommend to anyone who sadly finds themselves in need of it.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This July we lost our baby at 32 weeks and I delivered stillborn. I found the author while combing through Pinterest trying to grasp for quotes that I could relate to in this tragic time. I found out about Zoe’s story and that she had written a few books. There is nothing that this book contains that will help you find answers but it does help to hear others experiences. I really resonate with her thoughts and powerful sharing about her feelings. I feel that I have found a friend in Zoe and appreciate the advocacy work she is doing to open up to the world about baby loss.

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

If someone suffers a loss, this book is meant to be immediately read. It will provide solace and a safe space to cry, plus I could tell the journaling section would be very helpful.

With that being said, being almost a year post loss this book wasn't as helpful. And I'm not sure I could have managed to read it immediately following my loss. So while it is a very good book, and Zoe is amazing (her social media accounts are so helpful) I have mixed feelings on it.

[Jenna · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was quite dissapointed and found myself skipping through most of it. This book is NOT for Stillborn or Neonatal death. I think helpful for miscarrige, but for someone who has been through Neontal death after having to give birth and wacth their babies fight, this book did not help the slightest. Miscarrige and carrying to term are two completly different griefs and cannot be seen or treated in the same way.

[Melis Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! I've ordered many books on miscarriage right after my tragic late loss. This was the book that spoke to me. Walked alongside me. I'm currently doing the self care program which is in it and really really like it.

[Stav · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Gave me so much comfort in my dark days of my loss. Although I will try to read books specialised in the kind of loss I went through, I do recommend this for everyone who is grieving a baby and for their family and friends.

[Siobhan Koch · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have lost a baby or know someone who has I highly recommend this book. It is gentle, informative and life giving in the horrible season after baby loss. I will likely read it a 2nd and 3rd time.

[Courtney Symonds-Barnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of course, I wish that I didn’t find myself reading this book… but I started reading it the week after pregnancy loss and I found some of the stories a comfort. The daily journal continues to be a useful tool.

[Kelsae Tilbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful written and just everything you need to help after a loss. I could relate to so much in this book, finally felt like I wasn’t alone through this journey.

[Hannah Millson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great aid for anyone that has or is experiencing grief.

[Emily Bax · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book but if I was recommending one of Zoë Clark-Coates over the other I think Saying Goodbye was a better option for me.

[Steph Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you’ve suffered a loss yourself or someone you love has, this book is unbelievable. It guides you through and helps you feel less alone, less wrong somehow.

[Gabriella Yee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Necessary and educational. Makes you feel less alone as a mother who has experience infant loss, but also an excellent guide for those who want to support a bereaved parent.

[Sara Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book so helpful. Full of practical tips and made me feel less alone.

[Sophie Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book incredibly helpful. I didn’t agree with every word of it, but found lots of it very useful and resonated with so much. It really helped me navigate and process my grief.

[Jukka Häkkinen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Empaattiseen ja lohdulliseen sävyyn kirjoitettu kirja vauvan menettämisestä tarjoaa käytännönläheisia vinkkejä kriisistä selviämiseen.

[Katelyn Broad · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book would be great for those suffering after miscarriages. It wasn’t necessarily for those suffering with neonatal death, like myself.

[LaFedeMarti · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ☆

[Chandler Bigelow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zoe really gets it! She hits the nail on the head throughout this whole book. It was so validating and healing reading her words. I would highly suggest this book to anyone struggling with pregnancy loss.