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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

4.22  ·  Rating details ·  4,987 ratings  ·  480 reviews
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline.

Highlighting the fascinating link between a child's neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, a
Kindle Edition, 290 pages
Published September 23rd 2014 by Bantam
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4.22  · 
Rating details
 ·  4,987 ratings  ·  480 reviews

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Sep 29, 2014 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: library
This book has a lot of excellent advice about the importance of your relationship with your children, and how you can "discipline" them in a way that preserves that relationship.

I use quotes around "discipline" because the authors begin the book by launching into a sort of questioning of what we even mean by "discipline". They wind up redefining the word to mean something a little different from what you might expect (i.e. "to teach" rather than "to guide by consequences" as many parents have c
Aug 31, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is worth a read from the library but please don't buy this book! What is said on 250 pages could be summarized in 15 and by making it longer the authors complicate a simple strategy.

In short: connect with your kids and focus discipline on learning rather than consequences.

I will have to try it before I judge the merits of the strategy. Much of the advice runs counter to almost every parental instinct I have. Eg, if your child throws your glasses against the wall, make a joke to lighten th
Mar 20, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook
Before tackling this book, the reader must understand a secret that is essential to good parenting; there is no 'perfect parent' or 'ideal' approach to tackling the issues of disciplining a child. Drs. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson dispel this myth from the beginning and offer an insightful and highly educational approach to discipline and parenting that is simple, yet effective. With strong parallels from their previous joint publication (The Whole Brain Child), which I have previously re ...more
Courtney Judd
Mar 02, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is excellent! I've been getting angry and unkind all too frequently with my two-year-old. "Time out" stopped working, reasoning is challenging, and although spanking was a last resort for me, it's ineffective. I needed other "resorts" so I turned to this book. I find "HALT" and "1,2,3" the most effective strategies. "HALT" stands for "hungry," "angry," lonely," and "tired." Those are the most common reasons why children act out. The idea behind "HALT" is that you pause before respondin ...more

There is no silver bullet to parenting and the authours rightly confess this in the book.

There is a lot of useful advice here and much to like and enjoy in this book. But like any 'parenting' book, it seems to have been written in the land of parenting utopia where every 'explosive situation' is scalable and every child, given time, can see the errors of their ways. If your household is anything like mine, we don't have this luxury.

That being said the 'message' of this book is simple, and on t
Jan 11, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
When I saw the title of this book, I rolled my eyes and thought “No drama? You haven’t met my child.” As I started reading, I appreciated that the authors had a generally realistic approach to children and were thoughtful about how they connected their philosophy and suggested strategies to brain development. It had some helpful, catchy things to remember (like “shark music”). The examples seemed like real-life ones and every situation did not end perfectly. I liked all of these things. However, ...more
Mar 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a fantastic book; I would really like to adopt Siegel and Bryson's very well-informed and well-tested discipline philosophy. Their philosophy does seem to require more thought, creativity, and engagement with your child than the average parenting style. I think that my husband will be great at this, but I'm worried for myself about doing a good job with the creativity part.

The philosophy in a nutshell is that you first connect with your child--meaning that you have a discussion or a few
Feb 14, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book reminds me of an updated version of books like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." In fact, this also has talking illustrations/cartoons outlining what to do ("Everyone gets to share the slide")/what not to do ((Let those kids slide or we're going home!"). What I like even better about this is it doesn't imply kids will always react in a reliable and connected way even if parents act and talk "perfectly" in any given situation. Lots of science behind childre ...more
Susan Bazzett-Griffith
I realized about 1/4 of the way into this book that I'd read another book by this author, and that not only was there a lot of the same information in this "new" book, but that what irked me about that book did the same in this one. Siegel and Bryson have interesting ideas, but no one needs to read more than one of their books to know/understand/get them. They believe in making sure discipline is about teaching versus punishment and that connection with your child is always the important first s ...more
Jul 16, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed the basic ideas in this book, and appreciated the gentle, logical solutions presented. They are helpful ideas. But like SO many other parenting books, the tone is repetitive and a little arrogant - and it doesn't acknowledge that what parents need perhaps more than anything is grace for themselves, grace their children, and a sense of humor.

I wish more parenting authors would just acknowledge that at one time or another, your child will be the hot mess melting down in a very public pl
Linda Vituma
Nov 23, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Viena no grāmatām, kas jēdzīgi un praktiski maina vecāku un bērnu attiecības. Ar dažiem vārdiem, dažām idejām.
*) Disciplīna - kas savā sākotnējā vārda nozīmē (no latīņu valodas) - ir “zināšanas”.
*) Connect & Redirect - pirms mainīt uzvedību, nonākt kontaktā.
*) Kā Šerlokam Holmsam vienmēr meklēt atbildi uz jautājumu “Kāpēc?”, nevis dzīvot pieņēmumos, kas sāpina gan pašu, gan bērnu.
Labvēlīgi un iedrošinoši. Lai saprastu, kāpēc nedaudz arī skumji, domāju izlasīt vēl vienu Sīgela grāmatu “Paren
Apr 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
All parents should read this. Great reminder of what is important.
Mar 09, 2019 marked it as x-tbr-ecopy
Highly Recommended by my neighbor.
Oct 02, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book suggests that disciplinary moments are opportunities for parents to develop the executive function of their children’s brains. It presents a “connect, then redirect” model whereby parents first focus on connecting emotionally with their children to deescalate heightened situations and then work with them to redirect behaviour to a more positive outcome. It’s definitely too early for me to use this information now, but I’ll be revisiting this book in the future for sure!!
Nov 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the sort of book I think I need to just always be reading. On a loop. Things I took away this time were to connect first, to remember that if there isn’t a connection, any attempts to correct will be futile. Also remembering that just as I have hard days where my attitude is less than ideal, so do my kids. My job is to help them recognize those triggers, figure out how to minimize the negativity and refocus. And the final big takeaway- while it might feel ridiculous to be creative in eff ...more
Oct 29, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
You can kind of skip the book and read the “Connect and Redirect Refrigerator Sheet” in the Resources section without missing much content. I’d prefer the anecdotes be replaced with research and sources.
Fatma Akyürek Aytekin
Bütün Beyinli Çocuk kitabının yazarından olan Dramsız Disiplin kitabı, bağlantı ve sevgiyle çocukları disipline etmenin yollarını gösterirken, kendimize şefkat göstermemiz gerektiğini de vurguluyor.
Bruce Hicks
Jun 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I can't speak highly enough about this book. It explores the link between a child's neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior. Written in a clear and compassionate style, the authors present a research-based approach to viewing discipline as "teaching" rather than "punishing". It explains how a child's brain is--quite literally--immature, and how parents can help our children through difficult emotional times by connecting with them, helping them to calm down and access ...more
Sep 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2018
Great book that expands on gentle intentional parenting and recognition that children are people too. Children have the same big feelings that us adults do, so why treat them differently and attempt to mold them into society norms without helping them work on their big feels. The skill of self control should be handled just like fine motors skills, developed and practiced one step at a time. If we adults do all the talking and see discipline as a means of punishment only, we are in a world of hu ...more
Melissa Colby
Mar 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I had already read The Whole Brain Child, which is by the same authors, so I was familiar with a lot of their concepts already, but I would say this is better than the whole brain child because it focuses much more on practical application and it is just that-practical. They take into account that this stuff doesn’t work every time. Many child rearing books don’t really talk about how their approach doesn’t work 100% of the time because we and our children are human, but they explain that well. ...more
Brittany Finnegan
Jul 19, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I feel really ambivalent toward this book. It’s heavily rooted in psychology, which I’m interested in and have some background in, so I enjoyed listening to it (I listened to this book on Audible). It seems to be highly associated with their other book, The Whole Brain Child, so maybe I should have read that one first. I have a 3 year old and a baby, so there are definitely quite a few things I took away that I can use in my relationship with my kids.
However, I think if I had older kids and I h
Jan 27, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2016
This book is thought-provoking, and inspired me to be more thoughtful and deliberate in disciplining my two boys. However, it also made me feel better about the job I am already doing as a parent, as I already use a lot of the strategies suggested in this book, including getting down to their eye level and helping them talk about their "big feelings" (and my wife is just naturally a masterful mom because she naturally does almost all of it). I also appreciated the repeated acknowledgement that e ...more
Dec 18, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2015
No-Drama Discipline is one of the best parenting books I have read. Gone are the days of spanking, time-outs and other distancing, damaging methods of discipline. While those ways often escalate the tears, anger, frustration (parents' and kids'), the tools presented in this book are calming, connecting and life-changing. Rather than a parent vs. child stance, No-Drama Discipline ensures that parents and children are on the same team, working together and reaching resolution together, lovingly an ...more
Daciana Washburn
updated in January 2019 : I read this again with my husband so he could be on the same page - still love it and I’m trying to apply what it teaches....

Oct 2018: I’ve been really concerned about how to help my kids to be able to really process their emotions - I’ve also struggled with different disciplinary techniques. This approach is exactly what I need at this time. I’ve already started to use bits and pieces and have seen big differences with my toughest little guys.
Christine Luong
This book was so disappointing. I thought "The Whole-Brain Child" was excellent. It was informative yet engaging, and never dull or boring. This book, on the otherhand, was a chore to read. And it didn't really contain any new insights from The Whole-Brain Child. It took some concepts already discussed and expanded on them ad nauseum. It felt like a money grab.
Aug 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Being a grandparent isn't easy, turns out. Especially if you raised sons but the majority of your grandchildren are girls. It shouldn't make any difference, right? Full disclosure: I'm an ardent feminist who cannot ignore the differences in emotionality I witness in granddaughters. The best word for it? Drama. Big time. And I have zero experience with and little patience for it. Thus, this book found its way into my Kindle.

And I'm glad it did.

Every generation has a new take ...sometimes evolut
Aug 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
Appreciated this book as it seamlessly complemented the authors' first book, "Whole Brain Child."

"Kids need us to set boundaries and communicate our expectations. But they key here is that all discipline should begin by nurturing our children and attuning to their internal world, allowing them to know that they are seen, heard, and loved by their parents - even when they've done something wrong."

Three questions to ask before you respond to misbehavior:
1) Why did my child act this way?
2) What le
Jannah (Cloud Child)
I absolutely love the theory and philosophy of this book, the information on how brains develop and what parts of our brain are triggered during conflict. In the perspective of psychology its interesting to me as well as the childcare. And I like the suggestions of how to stop and think of the situation where the child is triggered and why they may be, depending on their age and abilities and what your thought process should be, how to use your "upstairs" brain.

However since reading How To Talk

The book contains some great material. There were a lot helpful ideas.

But, when the authors talk about redirecting it seemed like manipulation. Obedience isn't required, unless the parent can give a valid negotiation. Make the child think what we do depends and whether they want it.
Child kicks parents. Parent says that hurts. But don't tell them not to hit? Or hitting is bad?

Summary: No boundaries, no limits. Only natural consequences. And lot of negotiations.

* Introduction: Relational, low-d
Apr 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I thought this was a very helpful book. I read it right after "How to Talk so your Kids will Listen and How to Listen so Your Kids Will Talk" and they complimented each other really well. I have started using some of the ideas with my kids with really good results. I'm still working on integrating more of the ideas and finding the ways these practices work best with my set of kids, but so far I'm impressed.
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Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is an internationally acclaimed author, award-winning educator, and child psychiatrist. Dr. Siegel received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in pediatrics and child, adolescent and adult psychiatry. He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, where he also ...more
“We now know that the way to help a child develop optimally is to help create connections in her brain—her whole brain—that develop skills that lead to better relationships, better mental health, and more meaningful lives. You could call it brain sculpting, or brain nourishing, or brain building. Whatever phrase you prefer, the point is crucial, and thrilling: as a result of the words we use and the actions we take, children’s brains will actually change, and be built, as they undergo new experiences.” 5 likes
“We get trapped in power struggles. When our kids feel backed into a corner, they instinctually fight back or totally shut down. So avoid the trap. Consider giving your child an out: “Would you like to get a drink first, and then we’ll pick up the toys?” Or negotiate: “Let’s see if we can figure out a way for both of us to get what we need.” (Obviously, there are some non-negotiables, but negotiation isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of respect for your child and her desires.) You can even ask your child for help: “Do you have any suggestions?” You might be shocked to find out how much your child is willing to bend in order to bring about a peaceful resolution to the standoff.” 5 likes
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