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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

4.23  ·  Rating details ·  9,024 ratings  ·  838 reviews
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline.

Highlighting the fascinating link between a child's neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, a
Kindle Edition, 290 pages
Published September 23rd 2014 by Bantam
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Przemek Cerazy Just started reading this book. However, the whole brain-child was excellent - I read it over a year ago, but still use a lot of the tools and methods…moreJust started reading this book. However, the whole brain-child was excellent - I read it over a year ago, but still use a lot of the tools and methods in dairy parenting. Can't compare the two yet though.

Hopefully this helps!(less)
César One of the chapters of the book uses the other (The Whole Brain Child) as one of the "tools" to connect with the child's brain. But unlike the rest of…moreOne of the chapters of the book uses the other (The Whole Brain Child) as one of the "tools" to connect with the child's brain. But unlike the rest of the book (in a slow and boring style), here it goes through the subject very quickly. As is usual, authors encourage you to buy other of their books.(less)

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Sep 29, 2014 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: library
This book has a lot of excellent advice about the importance of your relationship with your children, and how you can "discipline" them in a way that preserves that relationship.

I use quotes around "discipline" because the authors begin the book by launching into a sort of questioning of what we even mean by "discipline". They wind up redefining the word to mean something a little different from what you might expect (i.e. "to teach" rather than "to guide by consequences" as many parents have c
Aug 31, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is worth a read from the library but please don't buy this book! What is said on 250 pages could be summarized in 15 and by making it longer the authors complicate a simple strategy.

In short: connect with your kids and focus discipline on learning rather than consequences.

I will have to try it before I judge the merits of the strategy. Much of the advice runs counter to almost every parental instinct I have. Eg, if your child throws your glasses against the wall, make a joke to lighten th
Mar 20, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook
Before tackling this book, the reader must understand a secret that is essential to good parenting; there is no 'perfect parent' or 'ideal' approach to tackling the issues of disciplining a child. Drs. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson dispel this myth from the beginning and offer an insightful and highly educational approach to discipline and parenting that is simple, yet effective. With strong parallels from their previous joint publication (The Whole Brain Child), which I have previously re ...more
Courtney Judd
Mar 02, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is excellent! I've been getting angry and unkind all too frequently with my two-year-old. "Time out" stopped working, reasoning is challenging, and although spanking was a last resort for me, it's ineffective. I needed other "resorts" so I turned to this book. I find "HALT" and "1,2,3" the most effective strategies. "HALT" stands for "hungry," "angry," lonely," and "tired." Those are the most common reasons why children act out. The idea behind "HALT" is that you pause before respondin ...more
Jan 31, 2020 rated it really liked it
I read this book mainly due to the work I do and found it helpful. I have recommend this book to a few parents. I was happy to see you that the actual or correct meaning of discipline being used and focused on. Granted this will not work for everyone and all situations but it's a step in a good direction.
Jan 11, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
When I saw the title of this book, I rolled my eyes and thought “No drama? You haven’t met my child.” As I started reading, I appreciated that the authors had a generally realistic approach to children and were thoughtful about how they connected their philosophy and suggested strategies to brain development. It had some helpful, catchy things to remember (like “shark music”). The examples seemed like real-life ones and every situation did not end perfectly. I liked all of these things. However, ...more

There is no silver bullet to parenting and the authours rightly confess this in the book.

There is a lot of useful advice here and much to like and enjoy in this book. But like any 'parenting' book, it seems to have been written in the land of parenting utopia where every 'explosive situation' is scalable and every child, given time, can see the errors of their ways. If your household is anything like mine, we don't have this luxury.

That being said the 'message' of this book is simple, and on t
Jul 24, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: natalism
Much of my commentary on Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids applies to this text with full force and effect, especially how the text lays down a detailed rule in Agamben's sense.

I appreciate this text's focus on neuroplasticity, on the one hand, and note that the refrain that one must redirect one's kid away from tantrums and other disfavored conduct is really a misdirection, a leading the kid away from the kid's sincere grievance, and is therefore consistent with Sun Tzu's gnomic that 'all warfare is
Mar 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a fantastic book; I would really like to adopt Siegel and Bryson's very well-informed and well-tested discipline philosophy. Their philosophy does seem to require more thought, creativity, and engagement with your child than the average parenting style. I think that my husband will be great at this, but I'm worried for myself about doing a good job with the creativity part.

The philosophy in a nutshell is that you first connect with your child--meaning that you have a discussion or a few
Nov 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the sort of book I think I need to just always be reading. On a loop. Things I took away this time were to connect first, to remember that if there isn’t a connection, any attempts to correct will be futile. Also remembering that just as I have hard days where my attitude is less than ideal, so do my kids. My job is to help them recognize those triggers, figure out how to minimize the negativity and refocus. And the final big takeaway- while it might feel ridiculous to be creative in eff ...more
Dec 18, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2015
No-Drama Discipline is one of the best parenting books I have read. Gone are the days of spanking, time-outs and other distancing, damaging methods of discipline. While those ways often escalate the tears, anger, frustration (parents' and kids'), the tools presented in this book are calming, connecting and life-changing. Rather than a parent vs. child stance, No-Drama Discipline ensures that parents and children are on the same team, working together and reaching resolution together, lovingly an ...more
Feb 14, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book reminds me of an updated version of books like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." In fact, this also has talking illustrations/cartoons outlining what to do ("Everyone gets to share the slide")/what not to do ((Let those kids slide or we're going home!"). What I like even better about this is it doesn't imply kids will always react in a reliable and connected way even if parents act and talk "perfectly" in any given situation. Lots of science behind childre ...more
Oct 29, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
You can kind of skip the book and read the “Connect and Redirect Refrigerator Sheet” in the Resources section without missing much content. I’d prefer the anecdotes be replaced with research and sources.
مشاري الإبراهيم
Should be called:

The sissy approach to child discipline


No-balls discipline
Susan Bazzett-Griffith
I realized about 1/4 of the way into this book that I'd read another book by this author, and that not only was there a lot of the same information in this "new" book, but that what irked me about that book did the same in this one. Siegel and Bryson have interesting ideas, but no one needs to read more than one of their books to know/understand/get them. They believe in making sure discipline is about teaching versus punishment and that connection with your child is always the important first s ...more
Bruce Hicks
Jun 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I can't speak highly enough about this book. It explores the link between a child's neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior. Written in a clear and compassionate style, the authors present a research-based approach to viewing discipline as "teaching" rather than "punishing". It explains how a child's brain is--quite literally--immature, and how parents can help our children through difficult emotional times by connecting with them, helping them to calm down and access ...more
Jul 16, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed the basic ideas in this book, and appreciated the gentle, logical solutions presented. They are helpful ideas. But like SO many other parenting books, the tone is repetitive and a little arrogant - and it doesn't acknowledge that what parents need perhaps more than anything is grace for themselves, grace their children, and a sense of humor.

I wish more parenting authors would just acknowledge that at one time or another, your child will be the hot mess melting down in a very public pl
Melissa Colby
Mar 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I had already read The Whole Brain Child, which is by the same authors, so I was familiar with a lot of their concepts already, but I would say this is better than the whole brain child because it focuses much more on practical application and it is just that-practical. They take into account that this stuff doesn’t work every time. Many child rearing books don’t really talk about how their approach doesn’t work 100% of the time because we and our children are human, but they explain that well. ...more
Sep 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2018
Great book that expands on gentle intentional parenting and recognition that children are people too. Children have the same big feelings that us adults do, so why treat them differently and attempt to mold them into society norms without helping them work on their big feels. The skill of self control should be handled just like fine motors skills, developed and practiced one step at a time. If we adults do all the talking and see discipline as a means of punishment only, we are in a world of hu ...more
Apr 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
All parents should read this. Great reminder of what is important.
Aug 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Being a grandparent isn't easy, turns out. Especially if you raised sons but the majority of your grandchildren are girls. It shouldn't make any difference, right? Full disclosure: I'm an ardent feminist who cannot ignore the differences in emotionality I witness in granddaughters. The best word for it? Drama. Big time. And I have zero experience with and little patience for it. Thus, this book found its way into my Kindle.

And I'm glad it did.

Every generation has a new take ...sometimes evolut
Erika RS
Aug 23, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kindle, owned, parenting
My favorite style of parenting books -- really my style of practical advice oriented books in general -- are those which provide a model, preferably one based in sound principles, and then explore what that model looks like in practice. I can't remember a list of tips and tricks, and tips and tricks only get you so far. A model, on the other hand, gives you the tools you need to adapt to your situation.

No-Drama Discipline does just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson take into account childhood cognit
Dec 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This one gave me a lot to think about. My default parenting style is definitely the consequence-based, one size fits all style mentioned toward the beginning, as an approach that is flawed. I absolutely believed that anything less firm was far too touchy feely to be effective. This book really changed my mind. It’s not perfect- no parenting book is. But I must say: they made a great case for connection-first parenting approaches. I’m definitely going to give these techniques a sincere shot.
Eslam Abdelghany
An insightful and informative experience. Every book i translate or revise - as has been the case with this book- supports my solid conviction that parenting is one of the most -if not the most- challenging full-time job any of us will ever have. I'm truly grateful to each and every parent who does his best to fulfill such a lifetime job as best and sincere as he/she could.
Sep 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Gamechanger. Siegel and Bryson’s approach to discipline takes a view of a developing mind and compassionate parenting. And it makes so much sense. Rather than focusing on obedience, consequences or punishment, it’s all about discipline (root word: teach). While it’s hard work, takes creativity and patience, this is clearly an approach that allows for a calmer home. It actually helps tamp down a parents anger and instead moves toward connection and relationship with kids, even in the most heated ...more
Kyrie Beckman
Nov 11, 2019 rated it liked it
Just like any discipline approach, there are parts that match me and parts that do not. Some of the approaches were a little too passive aggressive for me, but still had a few good nuggets to instill in me.
Apr 25, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I listened to it most of the time, with reading it by kindle sometimes.
it's very important to me to know why my child behaves in a certain way, so that can help me to react properly instead of just reacting spontaneously.

I learnt a lot from this book.
it contains some strategies that give me ideas on how I deal with the tantrums and repetitive difficult behaviors.

I liked that the authors start the book by defining the meaning of "discipline", and they discuss every point clearly. they pinpoint
Kelsey McCrea
Jul 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book pairs perfectly with The Whole Brain Child. I use both as references often. From what I have experienced as a mom so far this method of discipline is wonderful, and I really value the stress on connecting with your babes. Obviously nothing works perfectly every time but I 100% believe that connection and validation of children’s feelings can make an incredible difference in their behaviour.
Sep 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing
My first Parenting book and I am already amazed. Definitely I am going to reread in the near future.
Brittany Finnegan
Jul 19, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I feel really ambivalent toward this book. It’s heavily rooted in psychology, which I’m interested in and have some background in, so I enjoyed listening to it (I listened to this book on Audible). It seems to be highly associated with their other book, The Whole Brain Child, so maybe I should have read that one first. I have a 3 year old and a baby, so there are definitely quite a few things I took away that I can use in my relationship with my kids.
However, I think if I had older kids and I h
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Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is an internationally acclaimed author, award-winning educator, and child psychiatrist. Dr. Siegel received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in pediatrics and child, adolescent and adult psychiatry. He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, where he also ...more

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When you work at Goodreads, it's pretty tough to keep that Want to Read shelf under control. (And let's be honest, most of us don't even...
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“Say yes to the feelings, even as you say no to the behavior.” 7 likes
“We get trapped in power struggles. When our kids feel backed into a corner, they instinctually fight back or totally shut down. So avoid the trap. Consider giving your child an out: “Would you like to get a drink first, and then we’ll pick up the toys?” Or negotiate: “Let’s see if we can figure out a way for both of us to get what we need.” (Obviously, there are some non-negotiables, but negotiation isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of respect for your child and her desires.) You can even ask your child for help: “Do you have any suggestions?” You might be shocked to find out how much your child is willing to bend in order to bring about a peaceful resolution to the standoff.” 6 likes
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