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When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

4.30  ·  Rating details ·  142 ratings  ·  10 reviews
Are you one who likes to keep the peace even when it comes at a high emotional price for yourself? Do your attempts to resolve differences with a controller leave you feeling wrung out and discouraged? Do you sense that your best traits (goodness, kindness, cooperation) somehow become a disadvantage with an overbearing counterpart? These questions and many more are address ...more
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Published January 1st 2000 by BookBaby
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Gabriel Woods
Jul 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
I read this book because I wanted to understand the psychological makeup of two very important people in my life. I am a psychologist by education. I was pleasantly surprised with this book because Dr Carter does include technical information about the people pleasing and the controlling personality but he writes with very understandable terminology. I felt it was the message he had to give was more important than the medical terminology, which I think is the correct approach for this book.

Dr Ca
...more
Jacob
Jul 03, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm really glad I picked up this book. I enjoyed the assorted questions throughout the text, as it kept me engaged and really pondering the material. There is a lot of self reflection that comes with a workbook like this and I'm glad I spent the time doing it.

It made me realize several things about myself. Sometimes it's hard to know just where to start with healing and recovery, but I think this book certainly helped me tackle some outstanding issues I struggle with in all of my relationships.

I
...more
Lisa
Mar 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book was incredibly helpful. Les Carter’s approach to conflict and self sabotage is eye opening. If you are struggling to figure out how to form healthy relationships with mutual respect this is a must read.
V
Jan 05, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you are a people-pleaser and/or have narcissists in your life, this is a must-read. It's too easy to get pulled into thinking you are the one creating all the drama or problems when it is actually not at all dramatic to find, see, and stand up for your self-worth. The drama often comes from the person that refuses to respect your healthy boundaries. Very affirming to see what is not my fault, how I have allowed myself to be a doormat, what is in my power to improve in myself, and how I can wo ...more
Silvana Klaric boricic
As always Less Carter explains difficult concepts in a simple and convincing way bursting our denial bubbles ushering us to the better world; one in which we are able to acknowledge problematic behaviours and learn more effective ways of relating to others without sacrificing or overextending ourselves and yet remaining decent, compassionate human beings.
Selma Cobb
Dec 01, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A Very Helpful Resource

This is a book to be studied! I will return again and again to this information as I continue to change from people pleasing to calm assertiveness. Thank you, Dr Carter.
Nova
Jan 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book!

This book spoke to my heart. I will carry the information from it for the rest of my life. Highly recommend!
Jessica Adams
Apr 16, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I did a lot of the suggestions in this book. it feels like its slowly helping
Russ Hargrove
Sep 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I am so happy I came across Dr. Carter on YouTube and then picked up this book. Dealing with a classic narcissist at work I was desperate to find some guidance and therapy for the tremendous pain I experienced as I encountered his self-indulgent games and my naive idealism to think if I could just try one more time. This book was both informative and introspective. It helped me see my contributions to these negative cycles.

It’s been 9 months since I made my first assertive yet self-controlled st
...more
Lenora
Insightful. Tough. Helpful.
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