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Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals

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Goodreads Choice Award
Winner for Best Nonfiction (2019)
Rachel Hollis points out the pitfalls, challenges, and excuses that stop us from achieving our aspirations.

Rachel Hollis has seen it too often: Women not living into their full potential. They feel a tugging on their hearts for something more, but they’re afraid of embarrassment, of falling short of perfection, of not being enough.

In Girl, Stop Apologizing, #1 New York Times bestselling author and founder of a multimillion-dollar media company Rachel Hollis sounds a wake-up call. She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want.

In this book, Hollis helps you to:

• identify the excuses to let go of,
• the behaviors to adopt,
• and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself.

Hollis shares stories and principles with raw honesty that inspires her readers to discover and take the practical steps that will put them on a lifelong path of personal growth.

Girl, Stop Apologizing is the life- changing guide you need to dump your excuses, embrace your dreams, set boundaries, and gain real confidence in life.

240 pages, Hardcover

First published March 5, 2019

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About the author

Rachel Hollis

23 books31.8k followers
Rachel laid the foundation for her lifestyle brand and media company with the same unfiltered honesty and staunch inclusivity that made her a two-time #1 New York Times bestselling author. Hollis connects with a highly engaged and growing global audience of women who treasure her transparency and optimism. She is one of the most sought-after motivational speakers, plays host to one of today’s top business podcasts and is a proud mama of four who uses her platform to empower and embolden women around the world. Rachel calls Texas home; more specifically the Hill Country just outside of Austin.

IG: https://www.instagram.com/msrachelhol...
FB: https://www.facebook.com/MsRachelHollis/

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Profile Image for Johanna.
141 reviews75 followers
April 16, 2020
Boiled down, this book is about embracing and expressing who you are without apology. That message I can get behind. The general layout is first addressing the excuses to let go of that keep you stuck, adopting great habits that set you up for success, and then acquiring the skills necessary to make growth possible.

I’m breaking my review into three parts because I have complicated feelings towards Rachel Hollis. She is a motivator and an inspirational speaker – that you cannot argue with. She knows how to pump you up and how to kick you in the butt to get you going. So there are some things I got out of this book. As with anyone and anything, there are some personality quirks and little things that just aren’t my favorite or not my style. Beyond those annoyances and style differences though, there are some truly problematic things that RH says in this book. She has a large cult following who overlook these things, but they are not okay.

As a disclaimer: I have read her previous book, followed her online for years, viewed her documentary, seen countless live videos and Instagram posts, read tons of email newsletters, and been a general fan of RH for a long time (up until the last few months). So this is not a negative nancy review coming from a cranky curmudgeonly troll. This is someone who sees the immense power in her influence and wishes she’d listen and do better.

Positive things I got out of this book and/or things I am glad she said:
- Rachel discusses how as children we pick up on the behaviors that are going to get us attention, which we generally equate to love. If we aren’t extremely self-aware, these behaviors will remain well into adulthood as ways to earn love and affection, and these habits and beliefs about who we’re supposed to be can be damaging to our adult growth.
- Letting other people’s support of you/appreciation of you determine how you embrace yourself or live your life is just stupid. “Are you a shadow of who you’re meant to be because someone in your life doesn’t fully appreciate you?”
- She actually addressed feminism and how we culture little boys and girls as children to become the grown men who can actually function in society and grown women who are crippled by the idea that their worth is found in how good they are for other people.
- Basic boundary and schedule stuff. It’s old news for me but a lot of women still have no idea they can actually say no to people, leave toxic relationships, or change their schedule so they’re not exhausted 24/7. So I’m sure this was beneficial for many readers.
- Set aside 5 hrs/week to reach your goal, and treat that time as sacred.
- Aim for feeling centered/grounded, not balanced.
- “Mommy guilt is bullshit.” *claps all around*
- I honestly loved her bit about guilt & shame, specifically in reference to the religious community she grew up in and how it translated into her sex life as an adult.
- “Are you humble enough to suck for as long as it takes you to become better?”
- You’re allowed to do things that inconvenience other people. And in reference to that, “If you’re willing to do it for them, you better be willing to demand they do it for you.”
- I also love her tough love that if you can’t find an hour in your day to yourself, you’re not really living. My first gut reaction is to get defensive of the moms she’s speaking to, but I really do believe this for most people most of the time, and I think this is one of those things that you need someone to tough love you on.


Little things I was not personally a fan of:
- A LOT of pop culture references. The book starts off with a story about a Demi Lovato song, and there are references to Beyonce, Oprah, the Kardashians, Lady Gaga, Kendrick Lamar, and more throughout.
- She is a wealthy woman, and it makes her extremely unrelatable. At one point she said, “You know how when you meet with a nutritionist for the first time and they have you write down everything you eat in a week?” I actually laughed out loud at the idea of her thinking hiring a nutritionist is relatable content. She also recommends you take a weekly date night with your spouse and talks about how they keep their marriage healthy by going on “extravagant vacations every year without kids.”
- Felt a little like a not-so-humblebrag. Lots of talk about her goals being bestseller list, flying first class, her follower count, her makeup, her hair, plastic surgery and her resulting great boobs… Just a lot of status symbols as goals.

Problematic things that are objectively not okay in this book:
- Rachel doesn’t seem to realize that 90% of the things she says are extremely albeist and harmful to people with chronic illness, mental illness, and/or disabilities. Examples: “Still using a diaper at 32? That would NOT be cute.” She says that if there’s anything wrong with you or you’re suffering in any way, in pain at all or unhappy, that you’re not focusing enough on your own self-care, that you just don’t GET “self-care.” I’d like to see her say that straight to the face of someone with chronic illness or chronic pain. She also mentions several times that if you’re not in tip-top shape physically and emotionally, you will have a lot harder time reaching your goals and being successful.

- Rachel is obsessed with weight, appearance, exercise, and body size. Unhealthily obsessed, and it’s not okay. She falls into fat-shaming several times in this book, which I wasn’t surprised by, but the sheer quantity of mentions of “getting in shape” and “sticking to your diet” and “losing that weight” was actually baffling, I wish I had counted them. Examples: She quotes herself as “severely overweight,” yet has said in multiple places that she was a 12 (maybe a 14?) at her heaviest – to call a 12-14 (smaller than the average American woman) “severely overweight” is objectively unhelpful, stupid, harmful, and fatphobic. She summarizes being overweight as being not the best version of yourself and not the best mom you could be. “It’s so simple to lose weight. It’s so simple to get in shape. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.” - further reinforcing that if you’re overweight it’s because you’re lazy, shortsighted (because you can’t hold out for the joy of a future hot bod when that Chick-fil-A sauce is calling your name), and you don’t have the willpower to look attractive. And my favorite – “There are no overweight animals in nature.” Literally RIGHT after she says that it doesn’t matter what size you are or what your weight is, she says, “There are no overweight animals in nature.” and “The only animals that are overweight are the ones that live in our homes. Pets are overweight. You are not a pet. You are a powerful, beautiful, bold woman, and you will treat yourself as such.” I truly have NO words. And a second favorite – she’s discussing her breast size after babies and says she went from a perfect B to an E cup: “E. That’s a cup size. E as in ELEPHANT, as in ENORMOUS, as in YOWZA.” No joke. Still I have no words for this woman’s opinion of larger bodies.

- Along with weight, she doesn’t seem to know exactly what she wants to tell you about it. Several times she’ll tell you not to live in the “I’m too fat” feelings, and encourages you to change your mindset by writing yourself a letter about all the times your body was incredible, but then she tells you a story about how much she hated her post-baby boobs so instead of learning body positivity, she spent thousands of dollars on plastic surgery. There’s nothing inherently wrong with plastic surgery, but be straight up about whether or not your solution to hating your body is a healthy perspective/mindset shift OR if it’s just doing whatever it takes to make your body look like the idea you have in your head. (Which is obviously destructive, and she doesn’t give quantifiers for people with eating disorders and/or unhealthy relationships to food. All she cares about is – “if you don’t feel good about the way you look, what are you waiting for????”)

- She walks this weird line between acknowledging her privilege and thinking she is where she’s at because of her own merit alone. There was a whole rant in the book about how disappointed she was in some celebrity for not acknowledging they had help with raising kids and running a business, and she talks a lot about all of the professional help they have around the house and with the kids, but still in other places it felt like she just doesn’t get it. She talks about how when she wanted to start her wedding planning business, she just went and got an unpaid internship and dealt with abuse from clients for a long time so she could learn the skills and network. I don’t know about any of y’all, but I couldn’t afford the sacrifice of time (choosing to work for free means sacrificing time you could work for money, so it does in fact cost money to do an unpaid internship), and I don’t even have children. She could afford to do that because her husband had a crazy job at Disney and could afford for her to not make any money, AND they had a freaking nanny full-time. But instead she just says that she worked hard and traded her current comfort for the future end result she wanted. She continues to talk about how she built her business with only hard work, hustle, and a Google search, but also takes the time to point out all the people who helped her in the early stages of her business, even going so far as to say that no one is truly self-made. It’s very confusing.

- Rachel Hollis has a major problem with stealing people’s intellectual property. It’s been in the news for a long time, and I was honestly skeptical that she was maliciously stealing mommy blogger’s quotes and info, but after reading this book, I’m much more of a believer. I counted at least 15 quotes in this book that she pretended were her own idea. No attribution, no citing, no reference to the person who originally said the phrase. She just rolled it into her own content, pretending she came up with it. A list for you: “Hope is not a strategy.” “I love Jesus but I cuss a little.” The quote about how if you’re not in the arena taking punches you can’t criticize me (Teddy Roosevelt quote originally and Brené Brown has been applying it to her work for years). “You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself first.” The quote about aiming at what you can hit vs. aiming higher and flying (has been rendered many times but isn’t original to her). “Be interested more than you strive to be interesting.” “If everything is important, then nothing is.” “If it’s not true for everyone, it shouldn’t be true for anyone.” “You are a combination of the 5 people you hang out with most.” The quote about how the only way you fail is if you don’t try at all and don’t accomplish anything as a result. “If you want to change someone else, change yourself” (seems to be a pretty close rendition of Gandhi’s quote about changing the world). “Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” “Don’t compare your beginning with someone else’s middle.” “If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done” (Thomas Jefferson). “You cannot control the circumstances of your life; you can only control your reaction to them.” SHE DID NOT WRITE THESE QUOTES OR COME UP WITH THESE IDEAS.

- Rachel has a serious problem with the working class, and it’s not okay to toss your mom under the bus for making you boxed cake every year for your birthday. C’mon. That’s tacky.

- She states in her section about her mom leaving her dad that it was essentially ridiculous for her mom to move out because “you cannot assert your independence if you don’t have the financial means to back it up.” I don’t have the time or energy to go into how destructive this is as an idea for women in abusive relationships, but it’s severely disappointing that she’d say something like this without thinking it through and that none of her very well paid editors caught this massive mistake. There are other ways she could have communicated the same general idea if she really wanted to talk about how traumatic it was for her to not be wealthy as a child (I grew up fairly poor, so I understand the underlying feelings, but I would share them in way less immature ways), she could have done that. Instead, she tossed out a careless statement that can and will be used to make women in abusive relationships feel like they cannot leave if they don’t have financial independence to do so, and that’s definitely not something we need more of in the world.

- She states that you can go cold turkey on addiction if your why is strong enough (as she did with smoking), and that’s not great. She doesn’t understand addiction or mental illness and continues to pretend she is the equivalent of a mental health professional and continues to spew the garbage that if you only have a strong enough willpower you can get rid of any mental illness or addiction you may have.


The Audible version does include two bonus features: a session from the Rise conference (I didn’t listen to it – the book was already too much and I’ve seen the documentary already) and a meditation on gratitude (which I did listen to. I appreciated her trying to teach meditation, but she could have first done a little research into how to guide meditation well – she didn’t leave enough quiet space for anyone to actually meditate with her. She talked nonstop for the 5 minute duration).


Overall, I would not encourage you to read this book. There were some positive things, but I think the negative and destructive ideas she continues to push at her readers are too bad for me to recommend this book in good conscience.



EDIT since this review has gotten so much traction: If you are looking for an empowering book that addresses where you're at as a woman and moves you to be the best version of yourself with a slightly Christian/religious lens, I strongly recommend Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire by Jen Hatmaker. Jen is Christian, but I believe the book is applicable for anyone, regardless of faith background (she outright says this herself in the book). It will empower you without tearing you down.
Profile Image for Kathleen Garber.
572 reviews26 followers
January 14, 2019
Rachel’s first book, Girl, Wash Your Face, has made headlines and is a #1 New York Times Bestseller. I have not read the first book so I can’t compare it to this one, but I found the second book, Girl, Stop Apologizing, very good.

Now whether you agree with me or not will depend on your viewpoints. If you are a fervent Christian who believes women should not work outside of the home then you will not like the book. It’s about making goals and following them and not making apologies for having those goals.

If however you have a more feminist viewpoint, you will love the book. If you have a mixture of the two (like me) you will also find the book helpful and although you likely won’t agree with the way Rachel does things in some regards, you will be able to use what you find helpful. So from my viewpoint, it’s a 5 star book. But I understand why some people take offense to the book, based on their views.

So what’s in the book?
First Rachel shares excuses we should let go of if we want to accomplish our goals. These includes things like I don’t have time, I’m terrified of failure or What will they think? Then she goes over behaviours we need to adopt such as stop asking permission and ask for help. Finally she goes over skills you need to acquire (and how) such as confidence, effectiveness and positivity.

Read the full review: http://smsnonfictionbookreviews.com/2...
Profile Image for Felicia.
198 reviews
February 9, 2019
I find Rachel to be very motivational! I share her views on everything so far, but sometimes you need someone else to tell you what you already know.

So I finished the book, and all I can say is that Girl, Wash Your Face is the gentle prelude to this no-nonsense, make no excuses motivational, pre-game, go out there and kill it pep talk. If you plan on hanging onto any reasons as to why you can’t reach your goals, this book is not meant for you. My takeaway was this: 1) No matter who you are or where you come from there is zero reason you should not be pursuing the best version of yourself. 2) Make sure your goals are YOUR goals. Don’t try and live someone else’s life or let someone try and live yours!
Profile Image for Miranda Reads.
1,588 reviews153k followers
May 4, 2021
description

You are allowed to want more for yourself for no other reason than because it makes your heart happy.
Okay, right off the bat, this book is catchy. It's like super catchy.

She knows how to say something and frame it in a fabulous way to keep the audience glued to this book. She knows how to make you feel ready and willing to roll up your sleeves and get into changing your life.

Something your mom, grandma, auntie, friend has told you a million times and you have always put it off...when Hollis tells you, you listen.

But that's the thing...the stuff she's saying in here isn't particularly new. It kind of feels like she snips these concepts out of other books, gave them a fresh coat of varnish and popped them into hers.

BUT the key difference between this one and all the others out there is the Hollis-Factor . Her little extra set of sprinkles that make the whole thing seem so much more appealing.

So on the one hand, this is a very easy and catchy book to read with lots of (fairly) solid advice but on the other hand, I feel like we have to consider that it isn't super original.

And then there's perspective.

Often, she frames this book as the every-woman book however, after reading both this one and her other, I feel like there's a fair amount of advice she gives in the book that applies to her socioeconomic status and relative privileged life and that it might not be nearly as applicable to someone who hasn't had the blessings.

Sometimes you can't just dust off your hands and put on your work boots and change everything about your life for the better in an instant (or even within a few years). Sometimes life just doesn't work like how Hollis says it should.

Not all of us can find rich husbands so we can take unpaid internships and learn the innerworkings of an industry. There's plenty of people fighting their own battles that cannot be overcome with a bit of pluck.

There are quite a few reviews that do a lovely job of dissecting this and bringing about many of the harmful assumptions and assertions that she does make within the book.

I would definitely recommend Johanna's 1-star review if you want to know more about the copying and elitism found in this book - she has done an absolutely amazing job of analyzing the problematic moments of the story and behaviors of the author.

The other than that bugged me (and yes...this is probs a bit petty of me...) was in the introduction of the book she mentions the whole 10% of the brain thing.
Most of us only consciously use a small percentage of our brain power. But have you ever seen one of those movies where the protagonist suddenly has access to all of it...I'm convinced that many women in this world of ours are...operating at a fraction of their potential..."
And that is a pet peeve of my mind for two reasons
1) it is a tired trope. Everyone has quoted it so often...and then to see it in her book, yet again...makes me even further question the originality of everything.

2) it isn't even factually correct. If we put all of the brain towards thinking...we'd be dead. There's a lot more to living life than that...how else do you think we can manage moving, breathing, digestion, sensory perception and more? The human race didn't spend several billion years inventing the brain and decide not to use it all so the self-help gurus can have a sick quote to throw at their audience.
All that being said, I do think this is an entertaining read...problematic at times, inaccurate and copy-pasted...but still entertaining.

Also, as a side note...I read this one and her other one pretty much back-to-back and for the life of me, I really can't pinpoint the difference between them.

I think they felt different while I was reading them, but now...months later...I'm just at a loss what was the point/big difference between them.

Ah well.

YouTube | Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat @miranda_reads
Profile Image for Megan Barefoot.
15 reviews2 followers
January 7, 2019
I loved this book! Great ideas and tips! I could have done without the long Intro! Other than that she doesn’t disappoint.
Profile Image for Raquel.
311 reviews12 followers
March 7, 2019
This was AMAZING.
*
Excerpt from my review:
Sacrifices such as - not binge-ing the next season of Stranger Things right away like everyone else because you're too busy working on your own goals. Or working on a project for your own timeline while your family is having a board game night in the next room. These are scenarios I struggle with. Because I want to do both.

Rachel talks about writing this book while she's at one of her son's games and having other parents give her snooty looks for not paying attention while she's using the time to write her book. Okay, but when else are you supposed to fit everything that you want to do into the time you have? I want to have fun and join in and make those memories but how much do I want to write a book or achieve those other bucket list goals? The sacrifices I have to be willing to make are some of the things that have been forced under my nose from reading this book and cause me to question what it is I truly want to attain and how am I going to get there.
*
Read my full review here : http://www.paperdreamsblog.com/br-gir...
January 20, 2019
I won an ARC of this book through Goodreads Giveaways, and just finished it a couple of days ago. This book is so motivational. It has made me look at the way I try to accomplish goals in a whole new light. I have a whole new plan for trying to tackle my goals to make my dreams come true. Since finishing this book, I have already started making a plan of action because this year, I’m getting shit done! I highly recommend this book if you’ve always had big dreams, but never really had a plan of action for accomplishing them, or even knew where to begin. Also, if you are good at starting towards your goals, but then get unmotivated because you feel like nothing is happening, then this is the book for you. Your goals take some thought and breakdown to ultimately reach the end. Rachel breaks the path down into “Guideposts” and “Mile Markers” that you are trying to reach and overcome. You must complete the mile markers to get to the next guidepost with the end result ultimately being accomplishing your goal. With a little hard work and dedication, anyone can make their dreams happen! #books #reading #goals #dreams #girlstopapologizing #rachelhollis
Profile Image for Sandy.
136 reviews1 follower
January 1, 2019
I was super excited to win this advance copy of Girl, Stop Apologizing from Goodreads. What a great book to end the year/start the new year on! I will be honest that I was a bit underwhelmed by the beginning of the book. It felt like a re-worded edition of things she has written before. But I did feel like there was some solid new material to finish the book. Definitely glad I stuck it out and finished the book! Though her story is not my story and her focus is not my own, I believe she has a powerful message to share about making positive change in your life. I think the key is to walk away with the truths that speak to you and apply them.
Profile Image for Candice.
674 reviews29 followers
January 8, 2019
Thank you Harper Collins Canada for the advanced copy of this book - all opinions are my own.

I went into this one a little skeptical, as I had heard mixed reviews of Rachel's first book and I am not generally a proponent of religious categorized books, however loosely. But this turned out to be a pleasant surprise for me. The book is upbeat, positive, motivating and offers tangible and realistic steps for women to work towards embracing and then chasing their personal goals.

I really enjoyed Rachel's writing style, and her references back to her own life, successes and failures. While I would say that not every part of this book is going to resonate with every reader, I do think every reader can find areas of value in here that can be easily applied to their own lives.

There are concrete pieces of advice for skills to develop, behaviours to embrace and excuses to give up. Truthfully it was the perfect book to kick off my new year as I feel more inspired than ever!
Profile Image for Stacey.
13 reviews
January 9, 2019
I’m a huge fan of Rachel Hollis and her message. I love her work ethic, humor, and honesty. The book is broken up into 3 sections - excuses to let go if, behaviors to adopt and skills to acquire. While most of the information wasn’t new to me, I enjoy her writing style and the important reminders. I’m always interested in different author’s take on personal development and Hollis never disappoints.

*I won an advanced copy of this book through Goodreads.
Profile Image for Vanessa.
1 review4 followers
February 22, 2019
Girl, Save your time. This was a bunch of pretentious, unrelatable, rambling fluff that lacked any substance beyond what should be common sense.
557 reviews4 followers
January 24, 2019
I loved this! Every woman from hs student to senior citizen should read it ... really makes you think about your priorities and dreams.
Profile Image for Amanda.
12 reviews
January 21, 2019
Motivational. Makes you want to go out in the world and get stuff done. Great, practical tips for how to make space for achieving goals. I liked it even more than Girl, Wash Your Face. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Profile Image for Vena Marie.
1 review1 follower
January 25, 2019
I first Discovered Rachel Hollis with girl Wash your face . I love the fact that in that book and in this one girl stop apologizing she tells it how it is. Sometimes you need somebody to be upfront with you to make you realize what you're doing so you can become more. Can't wait to read more .
Profile Image for Taren Blanchette.
1 review3 followers
February 1, 2019
I’ve never been more fired up to tackle my goals and dreams after reading this book! OMG SO FREAKING MOTIVATING! If you’re looking for specific ways to reach your goals and to truly motivate you...this is your book! 💗I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book.
Profile Image for Dr. Appu Sasidharan .
944 reviews1,897 followers
August 15, 2022
Summary
This book motivates and gives all the women a wake-up call to reach the full potential. The author provides a detailed account of what all skills, behaviors, and habits we should espouse and what all excuses we should jettison to achieve that full potential.


Three things I learned from this book
1) Shame and guilt
Rachel Hollis clearly delineates the differences between shame and guilt

“Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is "I am bad." Guilt is "I did something bad." Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry. I am a mistake."- Brené Brown

I didn't understand it at that time, but I felt extremely ashamed of being a working mom, and I felt ashamed for years. So many years, I wasted nodded up inside about other people's expectations for my life. So many years of being distracted from my core mission because I was so worried about others perceptions. So many years, I spent apologizing for who I was, not verbally apologizing. My apologies were so much more hurtful because I didn't say I am sorry with my words. I apologized for the way I lived my life.”


2) A powerful habit that will be extremely useful to moms
Here the author says something that applies to mothers who have elder children (not those with infants).

"To establish a healthier physical environment, get up an hour earlier and use that time for yourself. This is especially powerful to moms. If your kid wakes you up in the morning, you are screwed. You are. You are already behind the eight balls. If the kid is crying or a toddler woke you up asking for Cheerios, you are starting your day on the defensive instead of on the offensive. That extra hour in the morning before your family gets up is key; it's everything.

Those of you who say you don't have any time for yourself, this is the time! If you want to work out, if you want to read a book, if you want to pray, if you want to write your first novel, if you want to have the time to pursue your goals, get up an hour earlier."


3) All the other important things discussed in this book
These are the things the author is discussing in this book in a nutshell

"Excuses to let go of
1) That's not what other women do
2) I'm not a goal-oriented person
3) I don't have time
4) I'm not enough to succeed
5) I can't pursue my dream and still be a good mom/daughter/employee
6) I m terrified of failure
7) It's been done before
8) What will they think?
9) Good girls don't hustle

Behavior to adopt
1) Stop asking permission
2) Choose one dream and go all in
3) Embrace your ambition
4) Ask for help!
5) Build foundations for success
6) Stop allowing them to talk you out of it
7) Learn to say no

Skills to acquire
1) Planning
2) Confidence
3) Persistence
4) Effectiveness
6) positivity
7) Lead-Her-Ship”



My favourite three lines from this book
"My anesthesiologist turned out to be blond tanned and basically a very, very young person. Like whatever age you have to be to just make out of the Medical School, that's what we are dealing with here. His name was Dr. Heiden, he said. He spent the morning surfing, he said. I remember telling to the medical personnel that no anesthesiologist should look like this guy. He was supposed to be bald and 60 plus years old. He should look like Danny DeVito. I remember all the nurses and Doctors laughing at me, and I remember me thinking, "Shut up, Rachel, Shut up. But I was too far gone. I could not shut up. ”


"The average woman's to-do list is approximately 319 items long, which means you are never going to get through it anyway. So let's let go of the idea of a to-do list and focus instead on creating a results list. And by "result," I mean, what is the end result I'm looking for from this work session. ”


“Who you are is defined by the next decision you make, not the last one. ”


Rating
There is not too much new information in this book apart from those we already know. But very few such compendium written by a woman for the women exists today. Moreover Rachel Hollis simple yet captivating writing skills will keep us glued to this book. So altogether I can easily say that this is a must read book especially if you are a woman.
3 reviews1 follower
January 28, 2019
This book was a great follow up to “Girl, Wash Your Face”. I think any woman, no matter what stage of life she is in, would benefit from this book. I appreciate Rachel’s honesty about her own life and feelings that she has worked to overcome. I don’t feel like she lectures her readers, but she shares what she has learned from her own experiences. After reading this book I felt motivated to make changes in my life, not all of them big, but still changes that will make me a better, happier person.
12 reviews1 follower
February 26, 2019
Just finished! It’s got the same spunk, straight talk, and no-frills feel as Girl, Wash Your Face but with more in depth application. This is where all the stuff she talks about is centrally located, so for those who follow her closely you won’t find a lot of new information. It is just a great resource for all the information she so freely gives every day. I don’t have a problem with that because even though you can get the info free if you follow her online, it is nice to have it in one place any time you need it, without having to remember when Rachel said it or on which media platform she said it on (Instagram, Facebook, her podcast, her email list, etc). This is a great resource for any woman wanting to learn how to set goals and grow into the person you want to be.
Profile Image for Claudia Lomelí.
Author 8 books73k followers
April 20, 2020
Tal vez más como un 3.5, me gustó y creo también me inspiró, pero también creo que fue algo repetitivo, y hubo varias cosas que no me parecieron. Luego me extiendo más.
Profile Image for Amanda.
45 reviews
March 5, 2019
Girl, stop Apologizing was so good! In fact, I’m about to start reding it a second time. There was so much in it, there was no way I got everything out of it the first time. Rachel Hollis has done it again! Girl, Wash your Face, was outstanding, and this was not any less outstanding than that was. I cannot wait for the world to get their hands on this book!

Rachel goes into detail about the excuses we need to let go of, the behaviors we need to adopt, and the skills we need to acquire in order to live a better life.

One of my favorite quotes from this book is, “Because this is real life, not a fairytale, and I don’t for one second think it’s going to be easy every day, no matter who you are or where you live. Real life is going to suck sometimes, and you’ll have whole seasons that rob you of the energy you need to pursue your goal. But you still have hopes and dreams and goals for yourself and your life, and they are possible. Sometimes you’re going to sprint at them headlong and sometimes you’re going to take the smallest inch forward, but you’ve got to keep yourself in the game. You cannot control the circumstances of your life; you can only control your reaction to them.”

I am so thankful that I received an advance reader copy of this book!
Profile Image for Michaela.
72 reviews36 followers
December 15, 2018
---Full disclosure: I received this book for free from Goodreads. --- Well, if you are not put off by constant references to God, church, or pop celebrities, then maybe you'll buy into this. I dnf'd at somewhere under 14 pages, b/c it was a waste of time. Honestly, I knew I was in trouble when I read the list of contents. All the chapter titles were really oriented toward dealing w/ external b.s., something with which I don't really have all that much issue. I'm not a people-pleaser. I don't give a crap how others judge me, nor do I factor their ideas of me into my personal life decisions. Maybe it's the Gen-Xer aspect of me, but I got over that kind of b.s. long ago. I also don't give 2 shits about demi lovato, oprah, the kardashians, or any of these other people the author thinks are so great. I do not stand around after church wondering what other people think of me.....I don't even go to church. I do not wonder why god put things on my heart, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. I do not ponder things under the guise of why god gave them to me, or any other related type of questions of the god-supplied, or god-denied, sort.

I also could give a crap about a blog, like the author talks about having started, but that's neither here nor there.

My take on this thing is that in essence it's devoid of real substance & exists more as a marketing ploy for the author to promote herself & whatever kind of brand she is trying very hard to make herself into. If there were something solid here on offer to the world then all that would be fine, but really it's just a lot of zoloft-saturated air, trying ever so hard to be your peppy, spunky, upbeat girlfriend.

It's not based in the reality most people live in. It's really just a big commercially-hip (read as not actually hip or cool) production. I mean, L.A. & group dancing before team meetings? (um, creepy while still remaining awkward.) Oh no, people were mean to her on the internet when she had a blog? Oh, she was a fat kid w/ uneven bangs & second-hand clothes? How mundanely mainstream. Give me a break.

Personal eye-rolling aside, I tried w/ this. I really did. The tone doesn't change though, so I'm done. If I wanted thinly-veiled bullshit I'd get back on facebook, watch "reality" television, turn on the radio, & go back to church. Maybe I'd even move to L.A.

No thanks.

Profile Image for Anna.
55 reviews
February 3, 2019
Even if you didn’t like Girl, Wash Your Face, this book is absolute FIRE! Fire for your life and soul. Fire for growth and love. This is a game changer and will leave you with pages of notes! An absolute must-read for literally everyone.

*I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.
Profile Image for Christy.
3,711 reviews31.6k followers
February 27, 2019
4 stars

 photo 1D13D493-F64A-424B-B39C-DED9C49AF291_zpsyqnnqlm2.png

I found Rachel Hollis in 2017 before her first book, Girl, Wash Your Face came out, and her message was one that helped me get out of a funk I was in at the time. GWYF is a motivating read that had me wanting to prioritize and change my life. It was a book that showed us all the lies believe about ourselves. Girl, Stop Apologizing is a bit different as it goes through different excuses people make to not go after the goals they have for themselves.



If you are at a point in your life that you���re striving for something, this is a book you could use. There were many quotes I wrote down to go over later because they inspired me. This is a book that doesn’t jus tell you to go after your goals, but it gives you tips and advice to go after them. Rachel’s personality shines through her writing and I for one, love that! I can’t wait to give this a re-read through the audio version because I love listening to her speak.

If you are looking for a book to motivate and to help you reach for those goals, pick up Girl, Stop Apologizing!!



Quotes I wrote down, if anyone is interested ;) 

Profile Image for Jeri Ritchie.
5 reviews
February 7, 2019
All the tears. This book brought to the forefront so many things I have left uncovered in my life. It made me wish for more transparency in my relationships and left me longing to never apologize for being myself again. If you have been or currently are a people pleaser, this book is for you. If you feel the need to justify your actions, this book is for you. If you've ever felt the need to make yourself small in order to gain acceptance, this book is for you. Ladies, Stop Apologizing...reach for your dreams and don't give up. Thank you Rachel Hollis! You have helped me realize I don't need anyone's permission to reach for my dreams!!!
Profile Image for Joanna Ellis.
193 reviews6 followers
March 7, 2019
As I read this book I went through a full range of emotions. I wasn’t ready for that. I figured I’d be inspired, uplifted, excited and feel ready to take on the world when I finished the book. And truthfully, I did feel that way when I FINISHED the book...but about 1/2 way through I was actually in a puddle of tears about my own inadequacies and insecurities. I wailed to my husband “I don’t have any of these dreams or goals. I’m a failure because I don’t want any of these huge earth-shattering things Rachel
talks about in the book. What’s wrong with me that I don even remotely want HUGE success.” (I mean a media empire? Not on my radar in the least!) I was approaching the book (and probably my life...) in the wrong way. I was comparing my beginning to someone else’s middle. I wasn’t tailoring the message to me and my current circumstances or my personal dreams. My husband kindly reminded me that I have my own goals and dreams. They might just look different; but I could still find value in the advice in Rachel’s book. Then today when I sat down to finish reading the book I felt a huge weight lifted. My mind was in a better place, the sun was shining outside, and I felt much more excited and hopeful about what I was reading. I didn’t compare my reality to the author’s, but focused on what ways she did overcome certain things to achieve great things. I decided to be inspired by her success and awesome progress instead of feeling overwhelmed and small because those goals were bigger than my own. The concepts she taught about confidence, efficiency, and breaking our goals up into guideposts and mile markers is powerful and valuable. It’s a good book to give step by step suggestions to achieve what you’re wanting in life - whether big or small.

I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book and look forward to y’all to get a chance to read it when it’s released in March!
Profile Image for Alana Hayes.
5 reviews3 followers
February 5, 2019
I recieved an advanced reader copy from the publisher. I absolutly did not think that it was possible for Rach to hit it out of the park again to this degree, but she did! I knew it would be really good(dont get me wrong).... I mean... Come on yall... ITS RACHEL HOLLIS! This book is completly new content that will without a question reach you to your core. She is real and genuine to break down all of the barriers for the excuses that you give yourself and coach you through how to TACKLE.THEM.DOWN. as well as redirect common behaviors to build a foundation of success.
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