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Emotional Unavailability

4.02  ·  Rating details ·  270 ratings  ·  22 reviews
Bryan Collins explores the common problem of emotional unavailability from an original, practical, and non-judgemental perspective. This book offers usable solutions to this human dilemma.
Michael Share, Psy.D., L.P.

Emotional Unavailability is an innotive look at ho a person's emotional style impacts his or her relationship patterns. The book goes beyond definitions of the
Paperback, 304 pages
Published April 1st 1998 by McGraw-Hill Companies (first published May 1997)
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I found it completely unnerving how the author talks down to her readers, explaining terms, people or situations as though we were all ten years old - tops.

It's nice that she states she's a trained psychologist and therapist but frankly it always makes me feel very weird when therapists start inventing their own terminology, "science" and rules the way this author does. (Gray zone etc.) It gives me a creepy sort of Scientology feeling because this is something they're quite big on, redefining k
Pamela Hamilton
Jun 02, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
I picked this book up by chance during a visit to Barnes and Noble bookstore in downtown Minneapolis with friends who were visiting from the Phoenix area in the middle of one of our coldest months. Sorry Kathy and Kelly! Emotional Unavailability is truly one of the most helpful, empowering books I have ever read! I loaned my original copy to someone and they didn't return it, so my husband ordered another copy for me. Realizing that I have been involved with emotionally unavailable people most o ...more
~ 3.75 ~
Some good advice in here. Found the Blamer and Poor Me interesting.
Biggest thing to remember: you didn’t break them, so you’re not responsible for fixing them!
Nov 17, 2010 rated it really liked it
Easy reading. Not too clinical. Goes into understandable detail as to how to identify personality behaviors in yourself and others and actually gives workable solutions. I really dislike books like this that are supposed to be helpful and yet never go past the identification part of one's issues. I would highly recommend this to anyone who is struggling to validate who they are and need to feel that they have a total right to do so. ...more
Apr 21, 2008 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Dec 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
She breaks down the types of unavailable suitors. I found this very helpful in understanding why my previous relationship had ended.
Jennifer Elbedour
Dec 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Wow! This book was meant for me. As a “stoic” Minnesotan living in DC, my lack of emotion is often seen as a cold-blooded and vicious attribute, when, I see myself as the emotion “stuffer”, unwilling to dirty the world with my trivial emotions. This book will help me immensely, and while some may see it as simplistic, I appreciated its directness for those of us without deep psychology backgrounds. Thanks Dr. Bryn!
Jul 06, 2020 rated it really liked it
The book has some great information about the different types of people and how to identify them. I don't agree with everything she says, but it's a good read if you want to know how to spot emotionally unavailable people. It doesn't offer a lot in terms of how to deal with them. ...more
Stephen M. Theriault
Sep 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jun 15, 2021 rated it it was amazing
I found this to be one of those, This needed to be required reading in adolescence, books. Seriously. There’s so much insight here, and not just insight into others, but oneself. For the right people, this book can help open many doors to inner growth and change.
Emily St. Amant
Mar 19, 2021 rated it it was amazing
It’s a little outdated at this point, but would still absolutely recommend. It covers all the signs of someone being emotionally unavailable and essentially incapable of providing for a partner’s emotional needs more succinctly than any other resource I’ve come across.
Sarede Switzer
Apr 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Very good book for creating awareness of relationships that have Emotionally Unavailable components but didn't provide as many solutions as would have liked. ...more
Amanda Dalton
Jun 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
this book will forever change the types of people i have relationships with and my relationship to myself.
I was looking at this book thinking it might help me improve. I think it can but it's written more from the standpoint of if you are/have been with an emotionally unavailable person. But it's really interesting to someone who likes to think introspectively about how we are the way we are and the differences between thoughts and feelings. ...more
Neha Shah
As I am reading this book, I am surprised how various patterns play in relationships, some I can see have played out in my own life. This book is very insightful and interesting. Although it gets a little dense at times, I still can't wait to get through the whole book. ...more
May 17, 2011 rated it it was ok
I felt this book just restated what all the other books on the same topic say about peoples emotions. There is no new insight.
Jul 11, 2011 rated it it was amazing
It's amazing to see why people behave the way they do, and in understanding this, it helps to not take their behavior personally. ...more
Feb 13, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Everyone
This book is a great reference book for everyone! Learn about relationships while learning about yourself. It's more of a linear thought process but it's right on target...trust me! ...more
Aug 18, 2016 rated it really liked it
Very easy to understand. An easy read
Sep 23, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
Everyone needs to read this book. You learn so much about the types of people you need to avoid and forwarned is always forarmed.
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