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7 Myths about Singleness

4.66  ·  Rating details ·  442 ratings  ·  103 reviews
If marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency.

Much of what we commonly assume about singleness--that it is primarily about the absence of good things like intimacy, family, or meaningful ministry--is either flat-out untrue or, at the very least, shouldn't be true. To be single, we often think, is to be alone and spiritually hindered.

Paperback, 176 pages
Published February 28th 2019 by Crossway Books
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Average rating 4.66  · 
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Calvinist Batman
Mar 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
This book shook me. Me, a married man of ten years. In reading it, I had to repent every few pages, not just for the bad theology and practices I had back when I was single, but for the way I think about and treat singles today.

Let me make a strong statement: If you are a lead pastor, you should be required to read this and make sure the elders of the church do so too. Yes, it's that important and good.

Honestly, I didn't expect much from this book upon picking it up. This is nothing against the
C.J. Darlington
May 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
Wow. That's the first word I can think of when reviewing this book. I am a happily single Christian, but there are still so many questions I have about singleness that are never discussed in the church. Can I be honest? I have been very disappointed in the church in general for its treatment of singles and the single lifestyle. I often feel looked down upon or like I don't fit in or that something's wrong with me. But this book totally validated everything I've felt in my heart but didn't know ...more
Rebekah Morris
Jan 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I’m not sure how to review this book.
It was very encouraging to read of others who have dealt with the same things in their singleness as I have. I'm not alone, or as the author put it, "an endangered species in a world of married people."
This book doesn’t claim that singleness is better than married life, nor does it say it’s harder. It points out challenges in each, and shows how marriage or singleness should point to Christ.
There were great reminders in this book that Christ is our ultimate
Feb 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: netgalley
The issue is not whether this path or that path is better, whether singleness or marriage will bring more fulfillment and good. The issue is God and whether we abide in him and are trusting him every day.

Do not be fooled that this book is for singles. I have been married for over 30 years and these myths about singleness tells me more about the gospel and really about my own marriage then most marriage books. The first question you are faced with is do you value singleness. Not in what the
Joséphine (Word Revel)
Actual rating: 4.5 stars

Initial thoughts: Growing up as part of the generation of Christians shaped by the (in)famous book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I found 7 Myths about Singleness quite refreshing. It doesn't put being single on a pedestal but neither does it vilify it. It refers to biblical teachings on why one would/should choose to remain single or to marry. At the same time, it explores modern experiences and reactions to choosing one or the other in a way that's relatable.

For example,
Aled Goodwin
May 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Really very good and challenging! Important lessons for the church today.
Feb 13, 2019 rated it really liked it
In "7 Myths about Singleness," Sam Allberry tackles common misconceptions that discourage the status of being an unmarried Christian. Allberry, a single pastor, shares from his personal and ministry experience how singleness is often maligned and responds with biblical and logical arguments. The first myth is that singleness is too hard thus marriage is the only godly alternative. However, the author argues that having a marriage and family present a different set of circumstances that are just ...more
Josh Keatley
Oct 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book is all about loving relationships. Marriage is great because it provides constant loving relationship. Singleness can likewise be great when friends and church family provide that constant loving relationship. However, both marriage and singleness are fall short compared to the loving relationship found in Jesus, who never lets us down.
Sep 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Easy to read with great points about being single, being married, and the family you have in church. Also that Jesus is enough. Not just for singles!
Dec 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Oh, my. I loved this book. Allberry is easy to read, but this was encouraging and made such a wonderful case for why my life is/can be still full now. The charge is for the broader church to understand this. I wish all married Christians would read this too.
Rebecca Lansford
Apr 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Wow. Cannot recommend this book enough. It addressed things I've felt about singleness (joys and struggles) in a very raw, eloquent, and Gospel-centered way. Easy to read and full of truth.
Hannah H.
Jan 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I was excited to get an early copy of this book, as I’d recently heard Sam speak at my church. This quick read was incredibly encouraging, as it did a great job of pulling out the blessings and distractions of singleness. He did a great job of affirming singles for our mission and our worth, while also providing truth about some deep questions that surround singleness- some I hadn’t even considered. Definitely a good read.
Nathan Farley
Dec 23, 2019 rated it really liked it
I often times will start a book and put it down before reading the last chapter. The author has communicated their idea and it's going to be 100 unnecessary pages so that they could reach a proper word count. That's simply not true with this book. The last chapter was one of the most moving, and the appendix was brilliant (this is probably the only appendix I have ever read from a book, but after being pleasantly surprised by the last chapter, I had to). I recommend everyone read this book - not ...more
Lydia Anvar
Jul 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This has been one of the most influential books about singleness/relationships I've ever read. Using his conversational writing style and wonderfully British quips, Sam Allberry uses this book to redeem and dignify singleness in the mind of a Christian. This book is wonderfully (and sometimes hilariously) personal and showcases the highs and lows of singleness in Allberry's own life. It's also backed up by Scripture; many of the book's main points pivot around a specific passage. If you're ...more
Jul 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
“The key to contentment as a single person is not trying to make singleness into something that will satisfy us; it is to find contentment in Christ as a single person. The key to contentment as a married person is not trying to build a marriage that can make us content; it is to find contentment in Christ as a married person. This is liberating.”
The best book on singleness I’ve read. So so good.
Jun 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Great read. Such honest, humble reflections, so very easy to take on board.

Best section was that singleness when you are 20-40 is easy! Friendship is on tap. But it's the later stages that get difficult. So keep as a church supporting everyone. Remembering that only Jesus provides true intimacy, perfect intoxication in his love.
Apr 16, 2019 rated it liked it
Good book. I wish the author had addressed the myth he labeled #7 - "Singleness is Easy" first instead of last. I was beginning to think he wasn't going to address the subject, which I believe is one of the greatest myths of singlehood.
Aug 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
Pastors and others who want to understand and serve singles well should absolutely read this book. As someone who has already wrestled with these issues for myself, it was decent, but other books have been more helpful (Carolyn McCulley’s “Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?” comes to mind). In other words, it works best as a book about singleness, not for singles.
Stephanie King
Jun 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Outstanding. Easily the best book on Christian singleness I’ve ever read. Easy to read (the audiobook is right at 4 hours) and full of great truth & wise counsel. ALL Christians - married, engaged, dating, single, divorced, widowed, whatever - can benefit from this read.
Sarah Hilkemann
Oct 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I think we’ve missed the boat, particularly in the church, when it comes to conversations about singleness. This feels like a book we should all read no matter what our relationship status. I think we can and should do better.
Mar 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Regardless if you’re single or married, read this book.
Ms. Watkins
Mar 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Outstanding. Sam Allberry gets singles, but more importantly, he reminds us that God gets us, too. This is an excellent read for any Christian, married or not.
Beck Nordstrom
Jul 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I really appreciated Allberry’s humility and honesty in writing this book. He brings an interesting perspective as someone who has been single for almost all of his adult life and will continue to be. In a lot of ways, this book really changed my view of singleness in a positive way. Highly recommended for single and married people
Apr 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very thoughtful Christ-centered book about singleness. Really appreciated Allberry's perspective here.
Dan Brown
May 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
This is a helpful book in which Sam Allbery identifies assumptions that are often made about singleness and then counteracts them with scripture.

My one slight criticism is that Allberry’s style is very anecdotal, and he tends to use many stories involving his different anonymous friends and other people he has encountered. This is fine and helpful occasionally but I felt at times (particularly later in the book) that his points relied on these anecdotes and feelings-based scenarios.

On the whole
Sep 13, 2019 rated it really liked it
Regardless if you’re single or married, you should still read this.
Chris Wermeskerch
Feb 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Wonderfully insightful book; singleness isn't easy, but it isn't a curse. The prose is engaging, the biblical insights are deep, and the pastoral tone is warm yet firm in places that single people need their thinking corrected, but not afraid to speak into the ways that non-single people and churches hurt single people near them. I will be revisiting this book often and recommend it to almost anyone.
Mar 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian, singleness
As a single, I found Allberry confirmed many thoughts I gave regarding singleness in the Church. He pointed out and encouraged me with things I hadn’t noticed or thought of before. But the best part of this book was his he presented things in such a way that married people might understand the frustrations singles experience; things I’ve been trying to say but haven’t been able to effectively communicate.

I highly recommend this book, especially to married folks.
Andrew Wolgemuth
Jun 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audio, faith, nonfiction
Outstanding - so sharp and insightful. I read it as a married man, and it provided biblical wisdom into marriage in general, my specific marriage, and the singleness of my friends. Sam writes with grace and candor, and people with just about any relationship status will benefit from his book.

(full disclosure: the literary agency I work for represents Sam)
Jasmine Fogwell
Aug 06, 2019 rated it it was ok
There is one chapter that I thought was worth reading. Chapter 7, "Singleness is Easy." In this chapter he explains well what it is like being single. The rest of the book was sort of boring. There was a lot of proof texting (this drives me crazy!). He also used his experience to prove points, which is okay sometimes, but it seemed to read "because I experienced this, this is what the Bible is saying about singleness." So, if you have never ever thought about what it might be like to be single ...more
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Sam comes from Sevenoaks in Kent, but studied theology at Wycliffe Hall in Oxford, and has since worked at St Ebbe's Church, Oxford, and now serves at a church in Maidenhead. Hobbies include reading, watching The West Wing and anything to do with South-East Asia.
“The issue is not whether this path or that path is better, whether singleness or marriage would bring me more good. The issue is God and whether I will plunge myself into him, trusting him every day.” 1 likes
“If marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency.” 1 likes
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