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I'm Telling the Truth, but I'm Lying: Essays

Bassey Ikpi (Goodreads Author)

4.33 · Rating details · 2,461 ratings · 416 reviews

A deeply personal collection of essays exploring Nigerian-American author Bassey Ikpi’s experiences navigating Bipolar II and anxiety throughout the course of her life.

Bassey Ikpi was born in Nigeria in 1976. Four years later, she and her mother joined her father in Stillwater, Oklahoma —a move that would be anxiety ridden for any child, but especially for Bassey. Her earl ...more

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Paperback, Unabridged, 257 pages

Published August 20th 2019 by HarperPerennial (first published August 6th 2019)

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Apr 21, 2019 Akwaeke Emezi rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Look, I've been reading Bassey Ikpi's work for a smooth ten years, thanks to the Internet. She's been a vital voice for so many of us who live with neurodivergence, throughout our darkest moments, whispering for us to allow ourselves morning. She's even mentioned by name in Freshwater! Now, this book of hers, this collection? It blew me the entire fuck away. It's brilliant, intimate, and so vulnerable! Bassey is a storyteller to her bones and it shows. Read this book, tell everyone you know to r ...more

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Sep 28, 2019 Thomas rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, biography-or-memoir, own-physical

A powerful story about Nigerian American author Bassey Ikpi’s experiences navigating her newfound Bipolar II diagnosis, as well as the anxiety she faced throughout her life. I most enjoyed this book’s profound honesty, like Ikpi’s initial refusal to accept her diagnosis when she learned about it, how she just could not fathom having to take medication for Bipolar II for the rest of her life. As someone in the mental health field and as someone who has experienced mental illness, I found her shar ...more

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Sep 17, 2019 BookOfCinz rated it it was amazing

Shelves: all-the-feels, biography-and-autobios, loved, debut, essays, real-life-sh-t, health, short-stories, cant-shut-up-about-this, inspiring-and-motivating

Updated December 9
I loved this book so much I decided to make it a BookOfCinz book club pick. This is a truly moving collection that deserves to be read.

I was simply storing up my tears, I would need them later. Somehow I knew this.

I am speechless and in tears after reading Bassey Ikpi's I'm Telling the Truth, but I'm Lying . Reading this collection of deeply personal essays was like picking up your best friend's well written diary and getting genuine and utterly vulnerable look into thei Updated December 9
I loved this book so much I decided to make it a BookOfCinz book club pick. This is a truly moving collection that deserves to be read.

I was simply storing up my tears, I would need them later. Somehow I knew this.

I am speechless and in tears after reading Bassey Ikpi's I'm Telling the Truth, but I'm Lying . Reading this collection of deeply personal essays was like picking up your best friend's well written diary and getting genuine and utterly vulnerable look into their life. I am blown away by not only well written, utterly beautiful and moving the writing is, but how Ikpi is able to remain honest and real throughout the entire collection. This book takes guts to write, putting your truth out there takes bravery and I remain in awe at the author's courage.

I picked up this book because of the snarky title but I didn't know the author or what the book would be about and I am happy I did because I didn't want to prepare myself for how blown away I would be. In this collection of essays Ikpi who suffers from bipolar talks about her life, from childhood when she migrated from Nigeria to the US, to her various relationships and ultimately getting diagnosed with bipolar and detailing what that on-going battle is like for her. It is not every day you pick up a deeply personal collection of essays written by a Nigerian woman that details her battle with bipolar and I was here for all of it.

What really took my breath away was when Ikpi's doctor listed the signs of bipolar and all the signs were things she thought of as her personality trait. WOW.

Almost all the essays were stand-outs but I particularly loved, Young Girls They Do Get Weary, The Hands That Held Me, Yaka, Like A War, This Is What Happens When, Beauty in Breakdown & It Has a Name These essays hit home for me in so many ways- particularly the exploration of the mother and daughter relationship. That theme was present throughout the book and my heart really went out to the author and her mother because mother-daughter relationships are so freaking hard! When the author say I forgive her always because how can you not forgive someone whose whole life was a sprint towards survival? I felt that!
I also really really loved the essay that addresses her relationship with a man who was unwilling to commit and who I felt gaslighted TF out of her. When she said This is what he does. He shows you his hand and makes you feel ashamed for looking at it. my breath left my body- WOW.

Overall, a truly moving, deeply personal and beautiful collection of MUST READ essays. WOW! ...more

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Feb 18, 2020 leynes rated it really liked it

Shelves: black-writers, african-writers

I've been picking up some books based on Roxane Gay's recommendations recently and damn ... that woman's got taste! I’m Telling the Truth but I’m Lying is a deeply personal collection of essays exploring Nigerian-American author Bassey Ikpi’s experiences navigating Bipolar II and anxiety throughout the course of her life.

“I was simply storing up my tears, I would need them later. Somehow I knew this.”

Bassey Ikpi was born in Nigeria in 1976. Four years later, she and her mother joined her fa I've been picking up some books based on Roxane Gay's recommendations recently and damn ... that woman's got taste! I’m Telling the Truth but I’m Lying is a deeply personal collection of essays exploring Nigerian-American author Bassey Ikpi’s experiences navigating Bipolar II and anxiety throughout the course of her life.

“I was simply storing up my tears, I would need them later. Somehow I knew this.”

Bassey Ikpi was born in Nigeria in 1976. Four years later, she and her mother joined her father in Stillwater, Oklahoma —a move that would be anxiety ridden for any child, but especially for Bassey. Her early years in America would come to be defined by tension: an assimilation further complicated by bipolar II and anxiety that would go undiagnosed for decades. By the time she was in her early twenties, Bassey was a spoken word artist and traveling with HBO's Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam, channeling her experiences into art. But something wasn’t right—beneath the façade of the confident performer, Bassey’s mental health was in a precipitous decline, culminating in a breakdown that resulted in hospitalization and a diagnosis of Bipolar II.

Throughout the book, we watch as she grapples with mental illness, chasing what she considers to be a “normal” life. But time is not linear and memory is not what it purports to be as her mind has found ways to protect her from memories that it perceives to be dangerous. In turn, the same function creates fantastic accounts of what happened.

“Anxiety is its own creature. Anxiety asks me to focus on the terrible things I’ve done. The people I’ve hurt. The promises I’ve broken. Anxiety tells me to make a list. Mistakes. Regrets. Lies. A litany of shortcomings, a coil tightened, ready to spring.”

Determined to learn from her experiences—and share them with others—Bassey became a mental health advocate and has spent the fourteen years since her diagnosis examining the ways mental health is inextricably intertwined with every facet of ourselves and our lives. Viscerally raw and honest, the result is an exploration of the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of who we are—and the ways, as honest as we try to be, each of these stories can also be a lie.

“The problem is that I don’t remember much about my childhood and have only fragments of everything else,” Ikpi writes in “This First Essay Is to Prove to You That I Had a Childhood.” The admission is appreciated, but what matters most to me is Ikpi is able to bring us into her world and capture how the moments she shares with us made her feel. So, while Ikpi is correct in that what she does remember is presented with “stark clarity” in select essays, as far as the details that are scant to her, where they may lack in specifics they make up for in beautiful prose on what life with mental illness looks like in all its facets through powerful stories found throughout her debut book.

Her writing style can sometimes be quite overdramatic – “He is the only one I regret being too broken for. If I could have allowed myself to love him, maybe this life would have shaped itself differently. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to wait to break. Maybe I wouldn’t have broken at all. Or fallen. Or maybe he would have caught me. Or maybe I would have destroyed him. I think I would have destroyed him.” – but as a reader you are inclined to indulge her in that regard. After all, it’s how she’s come to survive all of this.

Bassey is unflinchingly honest in this essay collection — nothing is off the table. She discusses her childhood and her experience with multiple dissociative episodes. Central to her book’s title — and disconcerting — is the fact that she has fragmented (and sometimes, false) memories of certain life events.

“I thought about the way my mind wanders, how I drift through days losing hours, forgetting to remain in my body. How they call me absentminded, forgetful. The way I am mercury spilling over surfaces—solid and liquid, here and not.”

Although the chronology of the stories does not follow the traditional structure of a memoir, the structure of compilation reflects the fragmentation of time Ikpi experiences in attempts to recall her memories. Her recollection of NASA’s Challenger explosion is visceral while the memory is mangled by the incorrect time stamp that she alleges is the truth while Google states otherwise. This explosion seems to centre the moment where Ikpi believes she lost control of her mind and gained the paranoia that caused her to want to take responsibility for the misfortune.

In one of the essays titled “Becoming a Liar”, Ikpi explains one can survive truths by telling lies. In recalling the time that she crashed into the garage door at her parent’s home, Ikpi creates an elaborate story about how the accident came to be. The narrative is ripped and crumbled when she admits that she actually does not know nor recall how the accident occurred, only that she and her family would declare the fabled testimony as truth.

This book is ostensibly about mental health, and it is that: We follow her from the early signs that no one recognized, through the crisis and out to the other side. This is not a trite book about victory over mental illness, excepting the fact that she is still with us; she is clear that every day is a struggle. But to present it as only a book about mental illness is to sell it short. This is a book about the human condition and how hard it is to live in this broken world in these frail bodies. So if you don’t recognize yourself in some of the despair, self-flagellation, euphoria, pride, profound love, and profound self-doubt, then it’s time for some introspection.

“I give them the suggestion Allow yourself morning. I tell them it means that today may have been a rolling ball of anxiety and trembling, a face wet and slick with tears, but if you can get to morning, if you can allow yourself a new day to encourage a change, then you can get through it. Allow yourself morning.”

This book chronicles how one woman learned to face her troubles. You want to root for her well being. You want to be more understanding of others. And, for some of us, by the end of I’m Telling The Truth, but I’m Lying, you might find yourself realizing you are no less guilty of telling yourself certain stories in order to deal with trauma, secrets, and shame. The hope is that you’ve taken such troubles on even half as mightily as Bassey has.

Deep truths underlie this fragmented, compelling narrative, which leaves readers wishing only the best for its harrowed author. ...more

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Dec 28, 2019 Hannah rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, memoir, audiobook

One of my most anticipated reads of the year, this sadly did not completely work for me. I found it very difficult to spend time in Ikpi's head - especially during the parts when her mental illness was not yet diagnosed. She unflinchingly shines a light on her behaviour without ever giving herself the benefit of filtering it through the lense of her later diagnosis. As part of her symptoms are irritability and self-hate, this made for a very difficult reading experience. I can intellectually abs ...more

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Jul 03, 2019 Dolly rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2019, memoir

I have never read a memoir quite like this. Such powerful prose, almost poetic in how it engaged not just my mind but also my soul. I could not put this down - it just held on to me and I ripped through in two evenings. While I haven't experienced much of what Bassey Ikpi has, she tells her story in such a raw and riveting way that I felt her journey in my being. I learned so much about mental illness, as she has experienced it, and about myself, in all the ways in which Bassey's journey speaks ...more

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Jun 07, 2019 Tucker (TuckerTheReader) marked it as other · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, arc-physical

Many thanks to HarperCollins for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review

After giving this a good chance, I’ve finally decided to permanently DNF it. It just wasn’t holding my attention. That said, I still recommend you give it a try. I think some readers will enjoy this more than I did.

| Goodreads | Blog | Pinterest | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram ...more

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Jun 05, 2019 Chris MacDonald-Dennis rated it it was amazing

What can I say about a book that touched my soul so deeply? First, Ikpi's experience with mental illness and difficult family dynamics allowed me a path to think about my own life and how my mental illness has impacted me. There were times that I literally had to put the book down because her words forced me (in a good way) to face things that I had tried to push aside. I found myself having more empathy for myself, which is something that does not come easy to me. I found myself being gentler w ...more

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Oct 26, 2019 Nohemi rated it it was amazing

Revolutionary. Thank you for telling your story. This book is a giant step towards normalizing mental illness within the Black community.

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Jun 18, 2019 Shannon Wright rated it it was amazing

This is a searing, lyrical piece of work: Bassey Ikpi started her career as a poet, and it shows as she finds music in heartbreaking moments. There are lines that will make you laugh out loud (“I still hate yoga, it’s like a game of Simon Says that no one ever wins”) and descriptions so evocative they make you freeze: a sweater is burgundy, “the color of Anne’s raspberry cordial,” and that one line captures a type of girl that, if you were also one, identifies a kindred spirit.

This book is oste ...more

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Jun 19, 2019 lisa rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: first-reads, staff-picks-jt, shelf-awareness-arc

I started reading this the day I got my ARC from the publishers, and I had a hard time putting it down to do basic things like eat and sleep and breathe. This was such an incredible memoir, with Bassey Ikpi being as upfront about her lack of memories as is possible to be. I thought she did a stunning and honest job of weaving something out of the vague (possibly false?) memories of her childhood, and the stories she has heard about her life since. The second half of the book deals with her strug ...more

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Jan 02, 2020 elif rated it really liked it

This was tense, often uncomfortable, and asked me to not flinch at the amount of pain displayed so vividly. I tried not to and I think I ended this novel a little more honest and kinder at myself, too. Gorgeous, drop dead beautiful prose. The reason why it's a 4 is because I feel like the conclusion was rushed and I wish we got a link between art and mental health. Maybe for the next novel though! ...more

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Aug 24, 2019 Kécy Anosike rated it it was amazing

Ikpi writes: My family spent years looking at me and not knowing that I was not okay. When they saw how bad the “not okay” could get, they rushed to treat me like glass. Not something broken - like I felt - but something they had never noticed was in danger of breaking.

“I’m Telling The Truth But I’m Lying” is a remarkably moving book for many reasons, starting with the presence of the most important ingredient in telling a story - any story at all -: the truth. The truth is a sort of flooding th Ikpi writes: My family spent years looking at me and not knowing that I was not okay. When they saw how bad the “not okay” could get, they rushed to treat me like glass. Not something broken - like I felt - but something they had never noticed was in danger of breaking.

“I’m Telling The Truth But I’m Lying” is a remarkably moving book for many reasons, starting with the presence of the most important ingredient in telling a story - any story at all -: the truth. The truth is a sort of flooding throughout’s Ikpi’s debut. From start to finish, I am mesmerised by it, humoured by it, stunned by it, embarrassed by it, angered by it. The truth always has many purposes anyway and that is why I suspect we often lean towards lying. Because in Ikpi’s vulnerability, in Ikpi exploring her mind and the many impacts it has on her life, I am instantly mirrored and understand the many reasons I tell lies. Even lies as simple (yet loaded) as “I am okay”.

A collection of personal essays, Ikpi’s writing is consistently sharp and bold; violently lyrical. She reaches into the relationships in her life (from childhood to a woman in her 40s) with radical attention and captures vulnerability like a warrior and strength like an alien. She does this with such skill, that the reader feels that the indefinableness of many of the things they feel and go through in life is validated. There are two essays in this book that are impossible to qualify. They are beautiful, yes, but “beautiful” as a qualifier seems insufficient and lazy; “beautiful” seems light and rushed in the way two people begin to utilise I Love Yous after a while of being together. “Like a War” and “We Don’t Wear Blues” are both astonishing in style and texture. These essays, when they ended, left me terrified of breathing.

As someone who is also part of this community, I do not consider this merely a mental health manifesto though it’s largely centered on it. I see this instead, as a critical document to understanding ourselves; a document that provides us the tools to affirm ourselves, to exist, to fight, to allow ourselves morning, to allow ourselves love someone -however broken we might be - and still mean it. ...more

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Jun 03, 2019 Smileitsjoy (JoyMelody) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: books-i-own, arc-reads-of-2019, blackauthorsmatter

“only a woman so small and wise could give birth to herself so many times”
That was the last sentence in the “prologue” of Bassey Ikpi’s book (set to release this coming August). That sentence struck a chord with me and I knew that this collection of essays was going to be amazing and moving.

Ikpi is a Nigerian- American poet and mental health advocate and overall amazing human who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. A disorder that Black and Brown folks to not talk about nor even have the ...more

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Jan 20, 2020 Jessica rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

at the beginning, i didn’t know the journey i would go on with this book. i didn’t know the heartbreak that lay ahead. i didn’t know how full yet empty it would leave me feeling. this book is poetry, it is wound; it is the truth of living circumstance that is needed within the black community. mental health is taboo for us. it is the thing you hide and push away, that you denounce with every fiber of your being. it’s just something you live with and don’t care to ask its name. and that is what i ...more

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Dec 28, 2019 Christine rated it it was amazing

Shelves: essays, memoirs-letters-and-diaries, minority-and-women-writers

I have dealt with depression, severe depression, for close to two decades. I am so happy that I read this book. Thank you, Bassey Ikpi.

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Oct 20, 2020 Julie rated it really liked it

This was a poets take on her bipolar disorder life

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Aug 20, 2019 Saitonne rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Heartbreakingly honest, navigating these experiences, this life of pain and yet love lingers in every memory in some way. Such a penetrating insight into her world. A necessary read. Also, it made me cry

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Jul 30, 2019 Sandy Reilly rated it it was amazing

Shelves: adult, arcs, nonfiction, autobiography, essays-short-stories, psychology, mental-illness

Bassey Ikpi takes readers deep into the desperately spiraling path her mind takes as she poetically puts into words living with bipolar II. Manic texts and emails to family and friends, comatose states of sleeplessness, a restlessness that requires laps around city blocks, negotiating periods of being repulsed by any kind of food, and a desire to no longer live while also not wanting to die -- this is Ikpi's life as she bravely shares her struggles, her scattered thought processes, and her confu Bassey Ikpi takes readers deep into the desperately spiraling path her mind takes as she poetically puts into words living with bipolar II. Manic texts and emails to family and friends, comatose states of sleeplessness, a restlessness that requires laps around city blocks, negotiating periods of being repulsed by any kind of food, and a desire to no longer live while also not wanting to die -- this is Ikpi's life as she bravely shares her struggles, her scattered thought processes, and her confusion and frustration as to why she can't just be "normal". Ikpi writes about her difficult childhood, failed romantic relationships, family tensions, and what she sees as her own failures in this collection of incredibly personal essays. She explains everything from the first signs of something being "wrong" to attempts at excusing away symptoms of bigger issues and pushing herself so hard that she finally breaks down and is hospitalized. As she learns of her diagnosis and struggles to find the "magical" cocktail of medications to help her function on a daily basis, Ikpi admits that her life has not been magically solved, that her story isn't over, and that she still has to fight -- even on days when she can say out loud that she is "better" and even when she's so tired she doesn't know why she's fighting anymore...

As a child of a parent with mental illness, it is difficult for me to explain how I felt while reading Bassey Ikpi's words. I couldn't fathom what my mother was going through, especially since I was relatively young at the height of her struggle. This window into the mind of mental illness has done more for my understanding than anything else I've encountered. Ikpi and my mother do not share the same diagnosis, however Ikpi's glimpse into how the mind can be sabotaged and can lose its ability to control "normal" functions such as getting dressed or eating food was enlightening for those of us who can't understand how mental illness is not something that can be pushed through like someone trying to run just one more lap around a track. The track never ends, the finish line never gets closer. There is only so much one without a mental illness can understand about someone who lives with it on an everyday basis, but I would like to thank Bassey Ikpi for her bravery and for helping others to learn about what it is like for those who live with mental illness. ...more

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Jun 30, 2019 BiblioBtown rated it liked it

This book gave me a panic attack. It hit a little close to home and there were so many scenes that resonated with me. I think she is strong for putting this out there. This is the true face of mental illness. This is what it feels like, what it's like to live with, what it's like to find out that all your worst fears about yourself are true, what it feels like to start fighting it, and living with the knowledge that it will never leave you.
I read an uncorrected proof (thank you Harper Perennial! This book gave me a panic attack. It hit a little close to home and there were so many scenes that resonated with me. I think she is strong for putting this out there. This is the true face of mental illness. This is what it feels like, what it's like to live with, what it's like to find out that all your worst fears about yourself are true, what it feels like to start fighting it, and living with the knowledge that it will never leave you.
I read an uncorrected proof (thank you Harper Perennial!!!) So there were a few typos and repetition of paragraphs. Overall her prose flows in a very stream of consciousness kind of way. I like it. It gives the impression that we are there with her, in her mind, experiencing the parts of her life she has chosen to share with us. However, that gets very real, and very stressful. We are sucked into her mind, her experience of this illness, and how terrifying it can be. It gave me a panic attack. Friendly trigger warning.
The book jumps around in a chronological-ish order though her memories. From Her childhood and family anecdotes, to school, to America and new family, through her relationships, and an ever growing presence of her mental illness until it finally takes over her life, and then the aftermath.
The ending seemed a bit rushed. After her stay in the mental ward she stops giving us concrete times and instead just rushes through some major life events. Peter dies (who is peter? I don't know.) and she has a 'benign growth' in her lady parts that morphs from, what my first impression was, cancer, to a baby? Then, suddenly we are in her new life with her child and mental illness. It doesn't cover work, or family relationships/reactions to the illness in an ongoing way, post diagnosis.
What I liked most about this book is that it didn't have a 'happy ending'. Mental illness isn't something you cure. It's something you live with, and she gives us that ending. The 'living-with-it' ending. I have struggled with mental illness too, and I appreciate the realness of this ending. ...more

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Nov 06, 2020 Shreya Vikram rated it liked it

Shelves: on-my-kindle, compulsively-readable, this-author-can-do-better, literary, memoir, mental-illness, non-fiction, has-potential-but-fell-flat, contempory, beautiful-writing

So hard to rate memoirs as personal as this one. A three-star is hardly appropriate, considering how much I loved this book, but I also had a lot of technical problems with it—mostly regarding the writing and the structure. Okay now I'm updating it to a four, but it doesn't feel like a four. It's a 3.5 (ugh when is Goodreads going to get us half-stars?).

The writing has so much potential but there's just not much clarity in a lot of scenes (and then too much clarity in others). Like, I didn't fu ...more

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Oct 06, 2019 Rachel León rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2019, read-in-2019

This collection started off slowly, but damn, it’s worth the read. “What It Feels Like” is INCREDIBLE.

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Oct 28, 2019 Mel rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: own-it, favorites

Never do I encounter a book with a voice that is so freaking relatable. It says a lot about me that the most accessible passages were so, not just because the writing itself, on a granular level, is off the charts lyrical and wonderful, but also, the manic narration, full of repetition and thrumming with anxiety- I've had many similar internal monologues of such insistence, weighing heavy on a frazzled mind, exerting pressure on top of the pressure I already insist upon in order to hold myself t ...more

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Jun 12, 2019 Saloni rated it it was amazing

Thank you to HarperCollins for providing me a copy of this book at BEA 2019 and thank you to Bassey Ikpi for signing my copy!

I thought this was a phenomenal read. Bassey Ikpi has beautifully written her story about her experiences with mixed-episode bipolar disorder. She tells a story that needs to be heard, highlighting some of the glaring problems in health care when it comes to mental health. Bassey Ikpi not only is able to tell her story eloquently, she also uses the space of the page and se ...more

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Jun 17, 2019 Jocelyne Kevine rated it it was amazing

Such beautiful writing and such a necessary story that needs to be told. A raw account of what it looks like to manage an illness that so many don’t understand, but which they will hopefully know more about after they read this. Bassey is a warrior and I am in awe of her strength and storytelling talent. I sobbed as I closed the book. A beautiful, beautiful story.

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Sep 16, 2020 J Beckett rated it really liked it

A shocker of a story once beyond the first several pages. Totally unexpected twists and turns as it exposes the depth and deleterious effects of mental illness. A definite page-turner that is both timely and passionately vital.

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Aug 26, 2019 Latiffany rated it it was amazing

I don’t know when I started following Bassey on Twitter or even why, but one day she tweeted that her book was coming out and I replied that I would buy it. She thanked me and that was that. I jotted down the title and told myself that I would order it soon. That very week my daughter text me and said that someone named Bassey was on our favorite podcast The Read and the conversation was really helpful. I hit the preorder button on my kindle and then listened to the podcast episode.

This story is ...more

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Aug 24, 2019 alexa (travelingreads) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

“This brain feels broken sometimes.”

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May 17, 2019 Afoma (Reading Middle Grade) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction-2019

I received an electronic ARC of I’m Telling the Truth, But I’m Lying from Harper Perennial via Edelweiss. My review contains my unbiased opinion.

I’m Telling the Truth, But I’m Lying follows Bassey’s life from early childhood in Nigeria, moving to join her father in the States, and being an anxious child in the US. After dropping out of college due to anxiety and depression in her early twenties, Bassey becomes a spoken word artist. She’s well-known for traveling and performing with HBO’s Russell ...more

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Aug 25, 2019 Crystal rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: pub-2019, library-ebook, essays, mental-health-neurodivergent, zp-2019-a, scribd-hoopla-rb-etc-audiobook, zza-harperaudio, read-in-2019, za-o-lit-african-diaspora, zformat-audiobook

It's been a bad day so I wept through the second half. Felt her fear, frustration, and exhaustion in the psych ward while listening with deep anxiety. Triggering if your psych ward/hospital experience(s) has/have ever been traumatic. The lead up to her suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization was so real. Small flashes of frustration at her multiple refusals of help but that is what makes this memoir honest. I admired her independence and her ability to flourish, despite the mental illness ...more

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Discuss This Book

topics	posts	views	last activity
Well-being for Al...: Final Chapter: Searching for Magic	1	4	Jul 08, 2020 10:51AM
Well-being for Al...: Chapter Twenty One: Some Days Are Fine	1	3	Jul 08, 2020 10:49AM
Well-being for Al...: Chapter Twenty: We Don't Wear Blues	1	1	Jul 08, 2020 10:47AM
Well-being for Al...: Chapter Nineteen: The Day Before	1	1	Jul 08, 2020 10:46AM
Well-being for Al...: Chapter Eighteen: As Hopeless As Smoke	1	1	Jul 08, 2020 10:44AM
Well-being for Al...: Chapter Seventeen: Life Sentence	1	1	Jul 08, 2020 10:42AM
Well-being for Al...: Chapter Sixteen: Side Effects May Include	1	1	Jul 01, 2020 05:33PM

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Bassey Ikpi

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“Because I know how that dog-eared page persists and insists you return to it. I know how the brain and the heart and the spirit fight daily to stay in the book and not write themselves out of the story. I know. I know. I know.” — 5 likes

“I thought about the way my mind wanders, how I drift through days losing hours, forgetting to remain in my body. How they call me absentminded, forgetful. The way I am mercury spilling over surfaces—solid and liquid, here and not.” — 4 likes

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