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Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls

4.24  ·  Rating details ·  968 ratings  ·  163 reviews
An urgently needed guide to the alarming increase in anxiety and stress experienced by girls from elementary school through college, from the New York Times bestselling author of Untangled

“An invaluable read for anyone who has girls, works with girls, or cares about girls—for everyone!”—Claire Shipman, author of The Confidence Code and The Confidence Code for Girls

Though anxiety has risen amongCode and Theof The/>“An
Kindle Edition, 252 pages
Published February 12th 2019 by Ballantine Books
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Mar 04, 2019 rated it liked it
To quote my graduate advisor, "This piece is less magical than [her] first." My 13-year-old daughter and I both appreciated Untangled and took many nuggets it from it that have informed some of our behavior and decisions, large and small.

Parts of Under Pressure feel spot-on to me as a teacher in an all-girls private school much like the one where Damour works, including some of the descriptions in early chapters of student and parent anxiety around tests and friend troubles. And I lo
Aug 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Really helpful tips for parents of girls--but also parents of boys. I read Untangled by Damour and there is some overlap, but both books have really helped me deal with my daughters' problems when they come up.
Christina DeVane
Oct 16, 2019 rated it liked it
This book had a lot of really good information and proper perspective regarding stress and anxiety. The main theme being stress and anxiety are actually good for us, help us grow, and alert us that something is not right in our life.
Yet how they play out in every day life can be harmful if we don’t acknowledge the problem and deal with it.
The book takes you through the veins in which girls face stress: at home, school, with girls, boys, in the culture, etc.
The chapter on girls with boys was a
**Received review copy from publisher via Goodreads Giveaways.**

4.5 stars. I was pleasantly surprised by Under Pressure. As a middle-school educator, and an adult woman living with anxiety, I recognized many of the patterns Lisa Damour described. (Like, damn Lisa. Stop telling everyone my life.) I even think it's a good companion read to the highly excellent Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.

This is pretty readable for a parenting/education book. At times, it can sound a
Jess Clayton
Mar 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Our teens, especially girls today, are under way more pressure than we were at that age. People are quick to say girls have "anxiety issues" when it's actually unnecessary pressure put on them at too young of an age. Dr. Damour's expertise in this area as a therapist and school counselor provides us with examples and offers realistic advice to help them overcome some of the things they are facing. I appreciated the fact that she didn't speak down on the behaviors as most parenting books do; inst ...more
PEI Public Library Service
Apr 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
Lisa Damour's new book, "Under Pressure: confronting the epidemic of stress and anxiety in girls", is a tool for parents to educate themselves about the nature of anxiety and strategies for dealing with their daughters' stress levels. Stress and anxiety at healthy levels are catalysts for growth; at unhealthy levels, they become overwhelming. Parents set the example for their daughters on how to deal with stress, so if you are alarmed by manageable life challenges, your daughter learns she shoul ...more
Alyssa Yoder
Jun 20, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book is chock-full of calm, practical, doable advice for managing stress. I learned for myself as well as for my children. One big caveat: if you are a fairly conservative Christian as I am, you will not agree with all her advice. But there's so much good stuff here that I'm giving it 4 stars anyway.
Jen Knapp
Jun 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Here are some good takeaways:

-"Pushing ourselves past familiar limits builds our capacities in the same way that runners prepare for marathons by gradually extending the distances at which they train."

-"Why expend energy fighting an immutable reality?" —> "practice acceptance"

-When a student says she's feeling really nervous about a test, say "good! I'm glad you're worried. That's the ideal reaction, because right now you know you're not ready. As soon as y
Feb 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Having previously read Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Dr. Lisa D'Amour, when I had the opportunity to read her newest book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls I knew I needed to do so.

Anyone who has teen girls or is around teen girls on a regular basis will immediately connect with this title. Keep in mind we are not saying that teen boys aren't under pressure but that it is intensified with teen gi
Jun 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Another great book for parents of girls (though as a parent of boys, I found the information applicable and helpful). I love the reframe of anxiety that Lisa Damour provides in this book. We need to be teaching our children that anxiety is a normal body experience and outside of extreme situations, they can use their anxiety to inform their choices and not feel panicked about anxiety.
Mar 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is a really good book about anxiety/stress and girls. While it doesn't discuss boys there are definitely some things you can apply to both sexes. If you have a girl anywhere from upper elementary on to their late teens this is a useful book about how to help girls navigate the world and when stress is good and when it is overwhelming our girls. It also gives tips about how to react to them and how to help them.
May 06, 2019 rated it liked it
This was a good basic introduction into tween and teen stress and anxiety with anecdotal suggestions on how to help your daughter deal. Nothing too ground breaking but there were definitely some relatable points and a good list of resources in the back of the book.
Patty Hagar
Jul 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Must-read for parents of girls, before they get to middle school! There is good perspective on social media, but I did think it went light on the onslaught of mobile sexual harassment teen girls receive as a common practice from boys. Maybe a future update will examine that.
Sep 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
So informative and interesting.
Mar 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
An absolute must-read for all parents of daughters.
Mar 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Excellent, practical advice and written so well. Great follow up to her first book, highly recommend!
Catherine Corson
Mar 03, 2019 rated it liked it
I think Lisa Damour gives the best parenting advice for raising adolescent girls. This would be 5 stars in the parenting department except that I don't think it really adds much to the combination of her first book. Untangled, and her NYT column on parenting girls.
Gabrielle Taylor
Jun 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book on the stress and anxiety. Great and sensible suggestions. Perfect for parents and their daughters.
Mar 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I highly recommend this book for people with girls or who work with girls!
Feb 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
The importance of this book cannot be overstated. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, teacher, or caretaker of a girl, the information contained within the pages of Under Pressure is invaluable. Dr. Damour wrote an engaging book with excellent insight into the workings of young ladies' minds. She provides real-world examples and accessible guidance to assist our girls in managing stress and anxiety. This book couldn't have come at a better time, as I just recently realized what a large percentage of m ...more
Jan 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was such an interesting and informative book about anxiety and stress. The information, interspersed with case studies, was well written and well researched.

Lisa Damour gave solid advice and helpful steps to curtail the anxiety before it escalated to a full blown attack.The author also reiterated the benefits of stress and anxiety. For example, healthy stress was taking on new challenges like running a marathon. Healthy anxiety placed young women in a protective mode when faced with situat
Feb 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is a fabulous book and should be required reading for all parents of girls, teachers of girls, youth pastors, counselors, and anyone who works with girls. Lisa Damour does a wonderful job of breaking it down, illustrating her points with real-life examples, and giving practical advice for dealing with anxiety and stress. Damour points out that stress and anxiety can be helpful in certain circumstances, helping us to watch out for danger and to learn to deal with life’s challenges. However t ...more
May 08, 2019 rated it liked it
Good food for thought with the content. IMO much of it applies to boys also. Some author tone a little annoying and too personal.
Apr 07, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sociology, psychology
Summary: A book on responding constructively to stress and anxiety so that it stretches and builds resilience in girls, and empowers them to alleviate unhealthy stress and anxiety.

School age children are reporting more stress and anxiety than ever. This is especially true among girls. Between 2009 and 2014, the number of girls reporting stress and anxiety jumped by 55 percent. Lisa Damour, a psychologist who works both in private practice, and with the Laurel School for Girls in the Cleveland a
Leigh Witzling
Mar 09, 2019 rated it it was ok
Nothing earth-shattering. Practical and useful for parents and therapists, but centered around white, cis, straight girls with a few token "diversity" pages at the end. The first 50 pages or so on strategies for approaching conflicts between teen girls are most helpful.
May 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
There is much to be gleaned from the research and anecdotes shared in this book. I appreciated addressing contemporary issues with a focus on older teens, though, I think there is much to be appreciated in negotiating relationships and social media for adults, too.

Some notables:
About a quarter way through, two words to remember, “stinks” and “handle.”

Affluent Adults living in middle-class communities were electing to put financial slack in their systems... if we are fo
Megan - Alohamora Open a Book
May 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: parents of girls
"Focus on who, not what, your child will become."

4.5 out of 5 stars.

Fantastic book, and a great read for those that work with or parent teenage girls. I feel like I learned a ton, got a new perspective on some things, will want to reread many other things, and in general feel a little more prepared on how to help and talk to girls, but also teenagers in general. I think the only reason it lost .5 stars was because there was so much focus with her girls at the school she counsels. I understand
Feb 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: would-read-again
Anxiety affects our daughters in frightening ways. However, Dr. Lisa Damour's book "Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls" addresses common causes of stress and anxiety and offers tips that help parents and girls manage these causes in effective and unique ways.

The big takeaways from this book for me include: 

1. Anxiety can be an ally rather than an enemy. What would happen if we would see our anxious feelings as a prompt to pause and che
Jun 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Dr. Damour begins her book by sharing the framework through which we should look at stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety have a bad reputation, and it's important to remember that stress and anxiety are often healthy for us. She says, "Stress is what happens when we operate at the edge of our capacities, and when we operate in this arena, we stretch ourselves and grow." Anxiety is closely connected. She describes anxiety as, "the gift that keeps us safe." (She also acknowledges that chronic or ...more
Feb 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Full disclosure, I got this book for free in exchange for a review, and I was feeling kinda meh about reading it. That said, once I started it, I quickly went from "oh well, this is fine" to "I am never letting go of this book" within a few pages.

I want it known first of all that this is definitely not a book about anxiety disorders. I think the use of the word anxiety makes people think that this book will only be used to learn about abnormal and dysfunctional feelings. This book is
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“Unfortunately, anxiety, like stress, has gotten a bad rap. Somewhere along the line we got the idea that emotional discomfort is always a bad thing.” 1 likes
“When girls come into my office in a panic...and I can tell that they they’re just a wreck, I get out my glitter jar and I do this.” She picked up the jar and shook it fiercely the way one shakes a snow globe. The placid water immediately became a sparkling purple tempest. “And then I say to the girl, ‘Right now, this is what it’s like in your brain. So first, let’s settle your glitter.” 0 likes
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