The Da Vinci Cod: A Fishy Parody

by Don Brine

Where there's a CODE there's a COD ...

In the not so distant past, a man had a Very Cunning Theory which he wrote down in a book, and it proved to be very popular indeed. In the very distant past, a man was born who had a wife, who had a child, who grew up and had children in turn, and so there was a bloodline stretching to today. And Leonardo da Vinci knew all about it and recorded it in a painting for everyone to see, despite lots of Bad People trying to cover up the whole thing. And the man with the Very Cunning Theory figured all this out from lots of clues and pictures that Leonardo da Vinci had cunningly concealed, and then published it for everyone to see.

But then it turned out that this Very Cunning Theory was Not So Cunning After All because it wasn't true. Not even remotely. Not even a tiny bit likely. Which is where this book comes in.

Because it turns out that although Leonardo da Vinci didn't know anything at all about a holy bloodline extending to the present day, he knew a very great deal indeed about what cod really are, and that sinister knowledge is only now coming to light ...

Fishclaimer
This book has not been authorized or endorsed by Dan Brown or his publishers, but it is much, much funnier.

Genres: Humor, Fiction, German Literature

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Rob McMonigal]

For absolutely no good reason, some hack by the name of Dan Brown writes a book making the Catholic Church look like a bunch of information withholding criminals, at just about the same time the Catholic Church was being, well, information withholding criminals.

The next thing you know a book with a convaluted plot, action sequences so long and boring you can practically read a different book in the time it takes to get from scene to scene, and a hero that'd described as Harrison Ford but acts like Keannu Reeves makes it on the Best Seller list and won't get off.

What to do? Make a movie?

Well, duh. We all know about that.

But did you know they did a parody book, too?


What happens when a clueless fraud is framed for murder and expected to know how to save himself from a vast conspiracy of God-cod? A lot of bad puns, that's what. In this fish tale, the hero must pair with an evil heroine and a mentally deranged noble by the surname of Teabag (and yes, sad to say, the author does indeed go there). It started out as a good parody, particularly in taking shots at the casting of Tom Hanks. At first I was really pleased, and even poised to recommend this to my Brown-hating Brethren. But then, like a comedy sketch drawn out too long, the theme gets played out to death. The jokes start to get stale about halfway through, and the plot--which at first was better than the original--loses focus and ends rather stupidly, not unlike Pen and Teller Get Killed. Despite a nice Prisoner reference, there just isn't enough here for me to say it's worth reading. (06/06)

Trebby's Take: You can throw this one back. There are better parody books out there, and it's not really hard to make fun of Dan Brown on your own. ;)

[Fuckboy Jones]

This book was pretty hilarious and had me cracking up a couple of times. Not literally cracking up, my skin did not suddenly become dry while reading this book, but rather the phase meaning to laugh hysterically.

[Kaya Kobold]

Öhm... MAD Hefte haben mehr intelligente Kalauer, mehr Dorsch, mehr bildhafte Vergleiche und mehr Charme als diese Zeitverschwendung. Schade. Dabei hatte es nett angefangen.

[Samuel Saul Richardson]

This was a book. By the end I had had a few small chuckles but overall it was a bit much.

[Cameron]

In this page turner, Brown enlightens the mind as he leads the reader through an enticing mystery. The masterpiece explores the ideals of religion and the loss of the pagan reverence to the ancient feminine. A true thriller, the novel prevents anyone from setting it down. Brown opens the reader’s eyes to the mysteries surrounding popular religion and raises a few questions. Obviously the novel was fictitious but Dan Brown’s engaging writing lets the reader that its real. This is what I found to be the most spectacular about this book. I enjoyed the conspiracy theory aspects of the novel but, the ending was sort of anti-climatic. Otherwise I enjoyed the book and would recommend this book to anyone, especially someone seeking to curl up with a book and enjoy a great story.

[Brian]

Robert Donglan returns as a recurring character in Dan Brine’s The Da Vinci Cod set in the 2000’s in Italy. The curator of a museum is found dead with evidence, the illuminati, not the same ones from the book The Da Vinci Code, are to be blamed for foul play. It turns out that if the deceased writes in blood the Chatholic Curch Had Me Murdered, it must be the work of an ancient society looking for the holy Cod fish. Like most books of this genre, parodies of cheap supermarket fiction, stupid airport thrillers, there is little incentive to keep turning the pages, other than this is a quick read.

[Jmackarla]

I give it a 2.5 stars.

It parodies The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Overall, it was an okay book. It had it's funny moments and a stupid reason to connect God and Cod. I liked it.

It's an entertaining read for a lazy day. Not to be taken seriously.

Robert Danglon is a fraud: he's not a person who can decode things. Sophie isn't who she says she is and fishes can be engineered to have a fingerprint in every scale. Fishes are a central focus on this book.

image:

[Jacquel]

If you came here expecting to read a certain book about a certain code, think again!!
In this rather hilarious send-up of Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code", a man lies dead of a fish being stuck in his throat. A college professor is called in to analyze some bizarre clues left at the death scene. Throw in a Frenchwoman with her own agenda and...well, this isn't this story.
I thought it was a good book, but I would rather read the Da Vinci Code.

[Kerri]

An captivating novel. What was the love scene at the end all about? Very interesting ideas and a fast pace read. Could be offensive to some readers. A book that is a fun read but should be read as FICTION.

[Heather]

Haha! I love this book. It was so funny. I love tongue-in-cheek books, especially this one because it made fun of the Da Vinci Code. It is right up my alley because my sense of humor is mostly punny. This is one of the punniest books I've ever read, and it's funny!

[Ryan Miller]

Sometimes clever, sometimes obscure illustrations that visually insert puns into titles of classic literature. I enjoyed trying to guess, but I missed most of the 17th-19th century titles (many of which I'd not heard of previously).

[JJ Waggy]

If a book could get negative stars, this might be that book. Of course, its source material was awful, so "Brine" didn't have much to work with. But still. I'm not completely sure there really was a plot here. Ever.

[Fishface]

This divine little book made it worth it to me to have read the boring-a$$ "Da Vinci Code." Every page was a delight. If you haven't read the other one, this satire will make no sense to you whatsoever.

[Yvonne]

This is really random, but it's a fun read, whether you like "The Da Vinci Code" or not.

[Marshall F.]

This book was alright not the best book so far

[Ainsley]

Any book that makes me laugh in places and skewers some of the particular idiocies of the original is all right by me.

[Beau]

A cute idea. Fine prose. Silly, just like it promised.

[Lulu]

I think I should read the actual book, then come back to this.

[Eunice]

Funny pun. Punny fun. Don't believe whatever this book say.

[Noora AlOlayan]

Complex book, i didn't like that book.

[Odes Lee]

Very punny take off from the original.

Lots of silliness and parody.

[Bobbie N]

SUMMARY: A parody of The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown COMMENTS: Funny, witty, imaginative – a quick, light read.

[Sasse F]

I would love to meet the writer and ask him why he let to the Film producer to change some of his main characters in this great document.

[Bob Ryan]

So illuminating.