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998 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 26, 2018


“It's a slippery slope back there, ladies. Admitting you enjoy their finger in your ass quickly escalates to their cocks prodding for entry.”
“And who does he think he is, having his lawyers send cease and desist demands to existing users of the title when we haven’t even made a cartoon yet?”
“Looking at you, Shmordon Shmamsey—and no one makes a peep about it. Meanwhile, we females are expected to coddle and comfort our way to the top, soothing our staff into basic competence instead of scolding them for lacking it entirely.”
“And so, our adventures begin. Oh, the libraries I will see. The books I will read. The lives I will live. And all with this man beside me.”
“I believe in all the things cynics despise. First kisses on Ferris wheels. Soul mates and once-in-a lifetime loves. I believe in fifty years and forever.”
“If you didn’t get girl juice all over your hands and at least half your face when you gave head, then frankly, you weren’t doing it right.”
“For a preacher, he sure fucked like a god.”
“That smart-mouthed asshole came into my shop every new moon, and it took everything in me not to throw a penis shrinking spell right at his crotch. He was the cockiest alpha male I’d ever met, and that was saying a lot for a witch who ran a supernatural spell shop.”






“What’s the plan?...
“The plan is we teach the jackoff coming to take my daughter to prom how we roll around here.”
“And how do we roll, babe?” I ask.
“SEAL style.”
“Oh, Jesus,” I mutter under my breath and leave the room.
“Liam steps into the room and looks at her dress. “Where the rest of it?” he asks, waving his hand up and down.
“At the store.” The sarcasm is thick as she rolls her eyes at him.
“Funny, go back and get one that’s not missing material.”
“Dear God,” I mutter to the ceiling.
“It’s fine… It’s a dress. All the girls have them just like this.”
Liam rubs the bridge of his nose. “You look beautiful, princess. Truly. You also aren’t leaving in that.”
“You’ve helped raise her into a beautiful girl, you have to let her shine. She’s wearing the dress, put your macho crap away and knock it off.”
“She can shine wearing a sea bag.”
“Liam.” I sigh.
“Natalie.”
“Liam Dempsey!” I yell as he hoists his gun over his shoulder. “Are you on drugs?”
“It’s not loaded.”
“Not the point!”
“I’m just introducing the kid to what it’s going to be like to date my daughter.”
…
“Come on in, son,” Jackson’s voice is booming as he pulls the boy inside.”
Aarabelle marches through them, pushing their chests so she can get there. “Don’t listen to any of them, Case. They’re all…dead to me.”
“No one! No. One. Other than me and your mother should be having sex in this house. No one. Do you understand?”
“The day I met you, my life changed forever … Before you, I wasn’t sure where I belonged in the world. I was bouncing from one relationship to the next, trying ot find that elusive happily ever after, all the while continuing to build my skilfully crafted walls. And then I met you. The cocky celebrity with more money than sense, who bulldozed into my life, stripped me bare, and then showed me where I truly belonged.”
“Many have been overwhelmed by the sight of my naked genitals. Why, it happens to often I’ve basically been declared a hazard to heterosexual women everywhere.”
“So I was thinking, we should make a baby.”
She froze.
“I mean, it seems a crime for us to be this good looking and not pass it on.”
Always
Evermore
Even After
Still