Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want” as Want to Read:
The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want

4.06  ·  Rating details ·  1,001 ratings  ·  132 reviews
Women: gain control and confidence in your love lives and find the relationship you want with this modern, life-changing guide from the certified sex educator, intimacy expert, and YouTube personality.
For younger generations, dating is a complicated mystery. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are supposed to foster connection, but instead serve as a reminder of how painfully sing
...more
ebook, 304 pages
Published July 23rd 2019 by Dey Street Books
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about The Game of Desire, please sign up.
Popular Answered Questions
Mark Cerney The book is about the author teaching six women how to date, she goes in great detail starting with her subjects getting to know themselves and workin…moreThe book is about the author teaching six women how to date, she goes in great detail starting with her subjects getting to know themselves and working their way outward. It feels very centered around by a woman, for for women. I have received no indication that this is or will give men any insight on dating directly; although i'm only on chapter 5 at this time.(less)
This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 4.06  · 
Rating details
 ·  1,001 ratings  ·  132 reviews


More filters
 | 
Sort order
Start your review of The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
Meghan Hughes
Sep 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I WISH I had this book in 2016 when I was crying on my bedroom floor about how I just wanted to be in love. Even though I am now in a relationship, this book still has given me so much helpful advice on communication skills, how to gauge someone’s interest, how to show someone yours, how to understand my love language & COMMUNICATE IT... & SO much more! I really suggest this read if you subscribe to the “men are trash” mantra or use your dating apps as something to just pass time or laugh at amo ...more
Carly
Aug 06, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I really wanted to like this book, but it fell flat for me. Most of the interesting things in this book are on Boodram’s YouTube Channel, and the rest just feels like filler. Reading it was honestly like watching a movie, when the trailer has already shown you all the best parts. It’s only saving grace was the workbook that you can access for free on Boodram’s website, but I’m not sure if it was actually helpful or just entertaining.
Leonicka
Jul 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I've followed Shan's work for years so I knew I liked her style and approach. I was most surprised by how much she still could teach me! I read the book in a single afternoon and will definitely go back to do the program at my own pace to see if I can replicate the stellar results her group of women had. ...more
Mary Beth
This isn’t normally the type of book I’d buy, but I saw several recommendations for it and I had some Amazon credit so I went ahead and purchased the ebook.

It’s a very smooth and engaging read. Unlike most self-help books, this one is told more in a story form, and I found myself really wanting to see what would happen next for each of the women who was participating in Shan’s program.

Some of the advice given felt very specific to people who live in big cities like L.A., and I’m not sure if th
...more
Charlotte Luzuka
I had no clue what to expect because I had only planned on getting the book next year. I then saw Shan’s post on IG about an audible version (I live in South Africa) and downloaded it immediately.

I. Do. Not. Regret that at all. It was such a great listen. So easy to follow. For me, what helped was being able to identify myself in some of the women’s journeys and it gave me such breakthroughs into my own psyche. Defo gave me food for thought to share with my therapist and get me on to the right p
...more
Lineal
Jul 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What I love about this book is how wholesome Shan Boody is in her advices. She doesn't have any rigid idea of gender and doesn't spend time on the pittiness of Cosmo-esque dating advices, like waiting to text people or playing hard to get. Also, she emphasizes the importance to set expectations Instead she advocates for embracing your boldest self and finding your way to seduce others. She's a pioneer I hope more of us will follow to seduce first ourselves and then the people we chose to :) Fina ...more
Daniella
May 13, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
4.5/5
I loved the audiobook but the thing that sucks is I didn’t grasp who each girl was until halfway through. Just because audiobooks are hard for me to focus on, no fault of Shan’s. Actually going to reread this one to get the full picture. But wow this was juicy and so insightful. Shannon did a fantastic job researching and thoroughly conducting an experiment
Valerie
Aug 03, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'll preface this by saying I've been following the author, Shannon Boodram aka Shan Boody, online for several years so I'm definitely not an unbiased reader. Additionally, I started this book about a month after starting a new(ish) relationship so it felt like a low stakes investment of my time on the specific subject matter.

Even with these caveats in mind, what I enjoyed most about this was though it is centered on dating, many of the concepts shared in The Game of Desire are absolutely appli
...more
Tiara Giles
Sep 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Good and interesting

I really liked this book. There were interesting activities that you could do that truly help you learn about yourself. This book isn't about learning how to please and attract a significant other. It's about knowing who you are, what you want and being confident enough to push yourself and go after what you want whether this means love or a career. But to always remember to love and take care of you.
...more
Sieara DeLone
Jul 31, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Indispensable information that everyone who wants to connect with other humans need. Shan is funny and honest. The women’s stories are relatable. We’ve all been one of them. Afraid to show our light. This book shows us how to come into our own. Can’t wait to implement this program into my life!!!
Rachel
Sep 09, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I got this book as a gift after a guy I had been dating for almost six months broke up with me. I’m not sure what I was expecting; probably new age feminist self help—something ambiguous but mildly motivating. What I found far surpassed that. Not only was this book well researched and chock full of actionable advice, but it was also really (dare I say) inspiring. It’s about self love in the most practical and empowering way possible, and at a time that I was feeling really down about myself it h ...more
Rachel Mendez
Oct 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I've followed Shannon by watching her videos for some years now, and this book is literally a compilation of the greatest things she teaches in an ordered, digestable treat!

The book goes far beyond the title; it's a kick up the ass to be introspective, understand yourself better, figure out what makes you tick, then building the courage and skills necessary to go out to get what you want!

For me, it's serving as a component on my "figuring myself out" journey (which is a constant one), and I woul
...more
Mark Cerney
First things first, there is very, very, very limited male influence in this book; so as a male, you might not get anything out of this book. For everyone else, though, this is a solid read, that gives you a solid foundation to work with and lightly visits them with practical application.

The Good: This book visits dating from the perspective of someone who is dating today, talking about topics such as: Gender Pronouns, flattering selfies, short meaningful conversations, honesty, and most import
...more
Amy Wong
May 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Let me just say, I am taken. However, I still read this book because I follow Shannon but also, I had a feeling I could still get something out of it. Wow, did I learn. The first phase of this book is all about introspection and I absolutely loved it. I learned so much about myself and for the exes portion, I still went through it with my boyfriend and me if it applied and it really solidified why we have been able to be together for so long. There is always room for improvement so please if you ...more
Dre
Apr 20, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: tbr-2020
Pretty interesting read. Let me start by saying I'm not on the dating scene. However, I've been following the author on YouTube for quite a while, so decided to check the book out. As Boodram gave six women dating advice for this "experiment," I followed along and learned a bit about confidence-building and sharpening my interpersonal skills. ...more
Claudia
When I found out that one of my all time favorite Youtubers was writing a tell-all book on dating, I was excited. But now, I’m just exhausted.

Shan Boody is the woman of color, professional cheerleading dating expert that I feel anyone could use in their lives if they want to date. But that’s the thing: Courtney, Priscilla, Stephanie, Maya and Deshawn were able to get in real life help from her and other experts throughout the book in a large metropolitan city.

I think this made the book very har
...more
Janice Nawal
Feb 10, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is quite interesting you. The vulnerability and the realness. I like it
Erica Ashley
Aug 28, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really enjoyed this book ! I’m not single but this book still allowed me to look within myself and see what I could do to strengthen my current relationship . Plus you get a little bit of everything in this book from makeup tips and tricks , rules of seduction and self defense .
Emily
13. One of my favorite principles is: communication is kind of about what you want to say, but mostly it’s about what you want to accomplish.

18. People pleasers, on the other hand, are so consumed with their desire to belong that they relinquish their right to be respected.

30. So, if you want someone to know you’re interested, look them in the eye, then once you have them on the hook, let your attention trail down to their body before meeting their gaze with a smile again. We’ll call this the se
...more
Anamaria
Dec 29, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was really fun.
A'Leah Draper
Sep 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a must read. I wish it was out when I was single, but has been an amazing tool even being married. I honestly fell like I know more about myself and my partner.
thebakedbook
Good not great.
Seemed kind of shallow advice... except for the part where they say to smear pussy juice on your pressure points... that was lit.
Dna
I started reading this on the fly while in a waiting room and was moderately interested until the author cited the Kinsey report. Citing the fraudulent works of an abusive pedophile masquerading as a legitimate scientist. NEXT!
Karla
Aug 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The Game of Desire is a complete game changer! I’ve legit told all my single friends about it. I devoured it in 3 days! I feel much more attuned to myself and what I want after Shan’s book and homework—for real! Such an easy and fun read as well. I felt really connected to the women going through Shan's experiments and felt myself cheering for their success not just because they're great but also because it meant "if they can do it, so can I!" ...more
Wamuyu  Thoithi
Jul 30, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I’ve followed Shannon for years now and quite frankly she is my ultimate girl crush. Only reason I wouldn’t give this 5 stars is because I generally do not enjoy self-help, especially not dating-related! But this isn’t any kind of self-help book. Shannon backs her theories with science and anecdotal evidence which I thoroughly enjoyed. That this book was centered around real life women made it all the more enjoyable.
Eliza
Aug 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Absolutely loved this book. I’ve followed Shan’s work for years so when she announced this book I was already all in. It took me a while to read because I don’t like when good books end too soon, but this book is full of so much information. Not only will it help you win at dating, but life in general. I will defiantly be going back to go through to work through the program. Everyone should read this book.
Martola
Aug 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Loved this...
Kit Door
Oct 25, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
A while back Shannon came onto a podcast I liked and sounded like a reasonable normal woman. If only she sounded that way in her book, I would have....OK, not enjoyed reading it, but at least not absolutely hated it? Sadly, the "date with dominance" label is a complete lie, too... it lead me to hope the author had an understanding of dominant women, but she does not. The intended audience is submissive passive women who have so little self awareness that they cannot handle discussing sex without ...more
Agathe
Aug 01, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
2.5
Not sure I am the best person to review this book as its main topic is dating and I am in a happy and monogamous marriage. But since Shannon, who I have been following for years now, stated that her book has something to teach to everyone, not only singles I decided to give it a try and preordered it.

My main complaint is that Shan tried to include so many different ideas and tips in only 300 pages that she ended up synthetizing everything to the point that it reads like a summary. Maybe she
...more
Julissa Dantes-castillo
I bought this book to support Shannon but it was really disappointing.

The only useful thing about the entire book is a workbook that is on the book's website to get to know yourself better. After that, the book only collects some tips that can be found anywhere on the internet, no surprising secrets as expressed in the title of the book. And everytime it seem to be going somewhere new the concepts were hanging.
...more
« previous 1 3 4 5 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Readers also enjoyed

  • More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)
  • When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost: A Hip-Hop Feminist Breaks It Down
  • The Art of Seduction
  • Small Doses
  • Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
  • Getting to 'I Do'
  • A Curious History of Sex
  • Pussy Prayers: Sacred and Sensual Rituals for Wild Women of Color
  • Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power
  • Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
  • You're Not Special
  • How We Fight For Our Lives
  • The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings In The Ways Of Relationships
  • How To Get Over A Boy
  • The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love
  • Patsy
  • Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope
See similar books…
See top shelves…
63 followers
Shan Boodram is the Internet’s most sought-after, certified sex educator, dating coach and relationship expert with over 40 million YouTube views alongside her mainstream coverage across all the major TV networks, The New York Times, Forbes and Time Magazine. Boodram is a bestselling author and the host of a new daily show on Quibi, Sexology with Shan Boodram.

Known by her community as “Shan Boody
...more

News & Interviews

Need another excuse to treat yourself to a new book this week? We've got you covered with the buzziest new releases of the day. To create our...
17 likes · 1 comments
“Think of yourself as a multibillion-dollar corporation. You, of course, are the CEO. Sure, you might have some family and friends on your board of trustees but ultimately this is your company.” 0 likes
“Sadly, I’ve worked with so many people who made the mistake of promoting their plumber to their executive suite simply because that person knew how to lay the pipe. So if you feel yourself making this mistake, review your listing for a long-term lover and remind yourself that your loyalty needs to be reserved for the success of your company, not for the company you keep.” 0 likes
More quotes…