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You, Me & Her

Tanya Chris (Goodreads Author)

4.23 · Rating details · 40 ratings · 17 reviews

Nate wasn’t made to be monogamous, a fact he never fails to disclose to his partners. No matter how much he loves the women he’s with, he sees potential in others. Does that make him a horrible person? His on-again, off-again lover and current co-star, Deb, certainly thinks so.

But his other co-star, Joshua, understands. Joshua, who’s fast becoming the best friend Nate ev ...more

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Kindle Edition, 279 pages

Published May 15th 2018 by Tanya Chris Publishing (first published May 11th 2018)

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· 40 ratings · 17 reviews

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Sep 23, 2018 Annery rated it it was amazing

Shelves: families-we-make, entering-the-adult-world, finding-your-way, first-time-gay, friends-to-lovers, grown-up-love-story, lgbtq, love-stories, menage-mmf, more-please

Nate is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who just wants to love and be loved in return. To belong without ownership. No monogamy or jealousy in his game. At 26 he’s like a great big puppy, without an ounce of guile or a mean bone in his body. I loved him. The problem is how society at large perceives people who are into open relationships: “unfaithful, disloyal, unloving, sex fiends” who at best can’t make up their minds or at worst are manipulators. In Nate’s case nothing can be further from the tr Nate is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who just wants to love and be loved in return. To belong without ownership. No monogamy or jealousy in his game. At 26 he’s like a great big puppy, without an ounce of guile or a mean bone in his body. I loved him. The problem is how society at large perceives people who are into open relationships: “unfaithful, disloyal, unloving, sex fiends” who at best can’t make up their minds or at worst are manipulators. In Nate’s case nothing can be further from the truth.

I really enjoyed this honest and somewhat hopeful portrayal of what an open & poly relationship can be like when the parties are coming from a place of honesty, respect, and love. It’s like a glimpse of Utopia for those who like to share and share alike.

Apparently Nate and some of the other characters have appeared in previous books, which I’ll probably check out, but I can’t say it’s necessary to have read them to enjoy this one. So what’s the story?

Nate lives somewhere not-NYC, I want to say Connecticut or NJ?, works construction for his uncle’s company, and is a cast member at CENTRAL PLAYHOUSE, a local community theater. He’s also considered something of a local Lothario, except he’s not. He just has room in his affections for more than one person at a time. Nate believes in and practices free love. He cares deeply for the well being and satisfaction of his partners, who until now have all been female. He has never thought of himself as other than heterosexual but things are about to change.

During the audition and rehearsals for a local production of Othello he meets and befriends Joshua, who pretty much immediately becomes a protector and a source of comfort when Nate is feeling unsure or low. There’s a spark. Even though at first Nate only recognizes it as friendship we, the readers, see the undercurrents pulling him in further. The initial lure is Joshua’s wife Sherry, a singer, a free spirit, and all around fun person. Nate starts coming around mostly to “sleep” with Sherry, with Joshua's approval, but he stays because he feels at home. Joshua cares for him by cooking breakfast or just listening to him. Joshua makes no secret of wanting Nate but respects his assertions of being heterosexual.

Nate’s journey from being exclusively heterosexual to becoming curious to falling for Sherry AND Joshua is done in such an organic and seamless way that I believed every word. Nate is bisexual. He’d just never thought about it. He’d settled for the standard assumption of heterosexuality. This doesn’t mean that he no longer likes women. He does. [If you don’t like vaginas this may not be a book for you.] I liked that the author shows how each partner in this triad satisfies a different need for the others: Sherry is the bubbly fun, Nate is the endlessly curious, affectionate, and attention loving puppy dog, and Joshua is the caretaker and glue that keeps them all afloat. Did I mention that I love Joshua? I do. Big time. Nothing could be better than being sheltered by his loving care. Also he’s a poet.

The rest of the book is populated by Nate’s family, friends, and colleagues from the theater. At first not all of them are supportive or understand. In fact quite a few of his previous sexual partners acted like he’d cheated on them or deceived them. It’s a bit disingenuous on their part given that Nate practically has a brand on himself saying no-monogamy. One of them is Deb. Nate’s been having an on/off sexual relationship with her for four years! Why? Deb insist on keeping it a secret. She barely acknowledges him in public. It turns out Deb belongs to the monogamy club, which is fine. However she insists that Nate just hasn’t found the “right person”, which of course is her. She refuses to be public with their relationship unless Nate promises exclusivity, which he won’t. She’s pretty horrid to Nate, Joshua, and her friends in general. Her behaviour is somewhat excused & pinned on bad family history and alcoholism, but in vino veritas. To me she was just part of the ubiquitous moral police who will always look with suspicion on those who opt for another road. Ugh!

Thankfully I can say that Nate, Joshua, and Sherry reach a “work-in-progress” HEA that works for them and worked for me as reader.

I’d recommend this to anyone. Even if you’re not a sharer Tanya Chris beautifully shows how a relationship like this can work for those who do want to go with “more is more”. How it’s not cheating if you’re all in agreement about what you want. How the fact of sleeping or having sex with others doesn’t negate your love, loyalty, and faithfulness to your partner(s). Maybe it’s not for you but you can certainly root and be happy for those choose it.

...more

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May 16, 2018 Sue "DavinciKittie" Brown-Moore rated it it was amazing

Shelves: menage, mmf, actors, contemporary-romance

Read the full review, with some fantastic memorable quotes from the story, at GraveTells: http://bit.ly/GTRreview-YouMeHer_GR

Don't judge Tanya Chris's You, Me & Her by its cover. This story has a lovely flow, a lyrical beauty that pulls you in right from the start. The lead character, Nate, is no angel, but he sure makes a hell of an impression. And he's real. Down to earth. A confident guy struggling to own his identity through the backlash of everyone else's criticism and judgement. He's a pla Read the full review, with some fantastic memorable quotes from the story, at GraveTells: http://bit.ly/GTRreview-YouMeHer_GR

Don't judge Tanya Chris's You, Me & Her by its cover. This story has a lovely flow, a lyrical beauty that pulls you in right from the start. The lead character, Nate, is no angel, but he sure makes a hell of an impression. And he's real. Down to earth. A confident guy struggling to own his identity through the backlash of everyone else's criticism and judgement. He's a playboy, sure, but that's just him, and his relationships are more long-term than one-and-done; he simply has a lot of them going on at once. He loves women, and he doesn't want to be tied down. Nate isn't commitment phobic—he simply doesn't fit into the traditional one-person-for-everyone mold, and Joshua and Sherry totally get that. This story celebrates the beauty of open relationships and explores the challenges that come along with them. It is refreshing and different. You know what else I loved? This story is beautifully bi-racial (maybe tri-racial, if that's a thing) and shows just how blind love is to skin color.

That said, the start of this book was a little rough for me. One of the characters—Nate's ex-girlfriend—is a real piece of work, and I found myself fervently hoping she wasn't a main character. It turns out she's a significant secondary (whew, not a romantic lead!) whose story arc drives part of Nate's (which works out nicely, indeed). And Nate himself is a bit of a quandary at first, amicable enough but also seemingly listless and unfocused. The guy you meet in the beginning of the story has some growing up to do.

But after Nate met Joshua and Sherry—a couple with an open marriage—I was hooked. Joshua is smooth, confident, and easy-going. The kind of guy level enough to casually hang out with and affectionate enough to enjoy a good, fun romp. And he doesn't back down from jealous ex-girlfriends. The sex scenes in this story are explicit, and I think I even learned a thing or two from Nate's mad (and nicely visualized) skills.

Stylistically, the writing and story feel reminded me of Damon Suede's homey, New York big-family vibe in Hot Head and Cardeno C's laissez-fair, easy-going, natural style of pacing a romance. Maybe it's the setting of the New York area or maybe it's the big-family dynamic on Nate's side, but the narrative is welcoming and comfortable. This story feels like a comfy pair of pajamas—something soft and warm you want to spend a lot of time in, but nothing too fancy or thrilling. This story is tenaciously sexy, in all the best ways. The first-person storytelling draws you in until you are Nate, until you must have Joshua, even though you think he's not for you.

Ultimately, You, Me & Her is an exploration in polyamory. Nate is never going to be a one-person kind of guy, and everyone keeps trying to convince him that he could be, that he should be. But that's not his truth, and I loved how he respected his own needs even when it hurt the most. The threesome really gets him going, and his attraction to Joshua builds at a natural rate. Nate's journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance parallels what a lot of people go through even in today's more open atmosphere.

A solid, well-crafted menage romance with beautiful layers of polyamory, open-relationships, and self-discovery, You, Me & Her is a gem. Tanya Chris's writing gave me the best feels, and I wanted to bundle up all the characters and snuggle them into bed with me. True threesome relationships, where each character romantically loves every other character, are extremely difficult to do well, and Tanya Chris has delivered an authentic, must-read story that stands out and demands attention in its own easy-going way.

NOTE: This content warning from the author is important, especially for readers averse to open relationships in romances:
Content warning for alcoholism. This book describes an open relationship that remains open after a romantic bond is formed. It’s not suitable for readers who consider open relationships to be cheating. This book includes both M/F and M/M loving. ...more

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May 14, 2018 Kristine rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2018, romance

I was quickly drawn into this story and couldn’t put it down. The characters are interesting, complex, and believable. I wanted to knock some sense into a couple of the characters a time or two, and wanted grab them into a hug as well. A great way to spend an evening.

I received a copy of this book from the author, my review has been voluntarily submitted.

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May 27, 2018 Andrea rated it it was amazing

Shelves: reviewed-for-love-in-panels

I received an advanced readers copy of this book to review for Love in Panels

Tropes: Office Romance
Tags: gay, bisexual, polyamory, mfm, threesome, open relationship, theatre, Shakespeare, recovery, alcoholism, interracial, multiracial, mind-blowing blowjobs!!

YOU, ME & HER takes place over the course of a somewhat-unconventional, potentially-controversial theatre production of Othello. As he walks in to the table-read, Nate (a white man) discovers that his being cast as Othello was in fact not I received an advanced readers copy of this book to review for Love in Panels

Tropes: Office Romance
Tags: gay, bisexual, polyamory, mfm, threesome, open relationship, theatre, Shakespeare, recovery, alcoholism, interracial, multiracial, mind-blowing blowjobs!!

YOU, ME & HER takes place over the course of a somewhat-unconventional, potentially-controversial theatre production of Othello. As he walks in to the table-read, Nate (a white man) discovers that his being cast as Othello was in fact not for lack of black actors available to the director. He finds himself in a room full of black men cast in other roles in the play, with a director who's committed to the 'I cast you for your talent not your skin colour' narrative. This 100% triggered my diversity-hire-drama alarms. But nevertheless, I persisted. And I am SO glad I did! Yes, there are a couple "Sorry, what did this white guy just say?!" moments in the beginning, but it quickly becomes clear that there's no racial prejudice behind it; Tanya Chris is just brilliant at capturing both the uncomfortable 'Am I part of the problem? Am I about to say the exact wrong thing right now?' reality of being the only white person in a space created for people of colour, and the good-natured teasing people of colour give right back.

Fear not, Romancelandia! Stay the course! You, Me & Her is the unproblematic fave you want it to be! Despite what the synopsis says, this book is also low on drama. Nate is so secure in who he is and what he wants that there's no room for it. Any misunderstandings or attempts to create drama are quickly resolved and handled maturely.

So, it's a mfm story of Nate being brought into Sherry and Joshua's open marriage, told from Nate's POV. Sherry is wild and free and the spark of electricity that flashes between the boys, but the overall focus is on the loving m/m relationship between Nate and Joshua. There's immediate chemistry between them when they meet, and they form a strong bond. The heat between them is off-the-charts, but it's an awesome camaraderie first. The saying 'Love is friendship set on fire' comes to mind. And the sex is WILDFIRE-level. Occasionally overly-descriptive on the logistics of threesomes for my liking, but not in a way that takes away from the maddeningly sexy. And man, does this book have the SEXIEST blowjobs. My heart is racing just thinking about it! Is there an award for Best Written Blowjob? because... THIS BOOK.

But what really made it an unforgettable read is the ongoing conversation around inclusivity, and the unconditional support the group of friends in You, Me & Her have for each other. The story's a true representation of friendship at an age of discovering what's possible with what we want from relationships. -Be that monogamy, chains dangling from the bedroom ceiling, or someone to chase your dreams with. But we're not just presented with a pro-polyamory argument here. There's a conversation near the end of the story that feels so alive and urgent and necessary that I felt as if I was transported into one of those European movies where they share a bottle of wine and muse on love and culture and suddenly the world feels so much more clear and bright and possible! It's a moment that normalizes and actively models what supportive friendships of diverse sexual expressions and morality should look like. It's something I wish everyone could see.

We see alcohol addiction in two of the characters' lives: Deb begins to fall deep into dependence on alcohol while Joshua continues on in his sober life. It's so refreshing to have a character who successfully handles their recovery for the entire duration of the book. I loved that Joshua's life in this story had glorious ups and crashing disappointments that had absolutely nothing to do with if he'd started drinking again. Another depiction of alcoholism we don't see often: The dedication with which someone who's in a good place will offer love and hope and guidance to someone who's struggling. I loved that we got to see that in Joshua. And I love that because of him, the other characters got to see Deb's downward spiral in a different light. -Without judgment, and without trying to force her into anything until she was ready.

I'd highly recommend if you're into stories set during theatre productions, if you want your romance with diversity that isn't front-and-centre drama about it but doesn't shy away from it either, or if you want to see polyamory explored openly and beautifully.

One NEGATIVE thing I have to mention is that at the 12% mark there's a casual sentence thrown in where Joshua says he met his wife, Sherry, when she was underage and drunk but hey, it's apparently all good because she didn't regret it when she woke up with him the next morning. Which.... hardcore ruined things for me, obviously. But if you can block that out of your memory and continue, the story unfolds into so many beautiful things and the subject is never brought up after that mention. ...more

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Jun 03, 2018 Gabbi Grey rated it it was amazing

Poly & MMF never looked so good

Ms. Chris’ blurb includes a warning about alcoholism and open marriages/relationships. I was recently on an online chat where the topic was BDSM. One chatter asked what BDSM stood for. Once the acronym was explained, she was out of there. As was her prerogative. Not everyone wants to understand Dominance, submission, masochism and sadism. They view it as taboo and, in some cases, just downright abuse. Those in the lifestyle, however, do not see it that way.

It is th ...more

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Aug 01, 2018 Jackie rated it really liked it

Another strong entry in Chris's series exploring non-traditional sexualities among the members of a community theater group in Connecticut. This one focuses on cute white boy Nate, who played a major role in My Guys. Turns out that he's been in a long-term, but secret, relationship with Deb, the lighting designer for the Central Playhouse, the girl who's always turned her nose up at him in public. Nate's always been straight with Deb about not being monogamous, but Deb has always longed for a de ...more

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May 17, 2018 Linda rated it really liked it

💕🔥Such a tangled web of relationships, new and abandoned, for Nate and his cast mates!😋
May 15, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition
👍👍4.5 stars

This well-crafted, 🔥🔥steamy romance had a lot going for it. I loved the way the development of the MCs three-way relationship was entangled with the production of Othello, the play where Nate and Joshua first meet as fellow actors in a local theater company. The interplay of the romantic connections of friends, roommates and former lovers gave the story body and add ...more

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Jun 28, 2018 Dilyana rated it it was amazing

If I'd first seen the cover to this book, I probably wouldn't have even bothered looking at the blurb, but as luck would have it, I first read the blurb (it was sent to me by the author). And I was indeed lucky, because You, Me & Her turned out to be a very enjoyable read.

I had fun with most of the characters, save for one woman - Deb, whose lines seemed a little too forced most of the time. I would've also liked more of Sherry. She's there at the beginning and at very end, but kind of gets lost ...more

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May 14, 2018 Sallyann rated it it was amazing

Wow!!! I absolutely loved this book. Nate is only interested in open relationships but Deb wants to try and keep him for herself, he has always been open and honest with her but she still insists that he cheated on her throughout their relationship. So he has no choice but to break things off with her, the only problem is that they are staring in a play together and the two leading people. Nate meets his new co-star Joshua and they have a instant connection. Their soon have a great friendship an ...more

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Feb 21, 2020 Cleo rated it liked it

Shelves: bi-romance, btqia-protagonists, m-f, m-m, mfm-or-mmf, poly-am, romance-multicultural

Bi, poly romance with m/m, m/f and m/f/m sex. Refreshing to read a believable hea for a poly triad that includes commitment but not monogamy/ exclusivity.

This is told from the first person POV of Nate - I felt like the romance was a little muted and the characters of the other two MCs were under developed. In some ways it read more like the story of Nate’s coming of age (at 27). The end dragged a bit, with a few scenes that felt like BI 101 and Poly 101.

This is the last in a trilogy but it was ...more

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Jun 11, 2019 Stephanie rated it it was amazing

More like 4.5 but I'll round up

The only reason for taking the 0.5 off is that it felt a little preachy about non-monogamy in a couple of places in a way that pulled me out of the story. Other than that more quibble I thoroughly enjoyed this story. The chemistry between Joshua and Nate is very hot. Sherry was an alright edition but I didn't feel like I got to really know her because she didn't feel like a fully fleshed out character. Still really enjoyed the story and seeing them get their HEA wa ...more

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Aug 07, 2018 Tiffaney rated it really liked it

Great unconventional story about sexuality and relationships.

My only issue is that at times Sherry felt like a third wheel to Nate and Joshua's story. I could actually feel the connection and chemistry between the two guys and I never really felt that when Sherry was included. The struggle of Nate coming to terms with his new found sexuality and Joshua's angst was great to see. Also Deb's side story really brought depth to the story that I was surprisingly not annoyed by. ...more

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Apr 10, 2019 Michelle Alerte rated it it was amazing

Adored this book

I cannot rave enough about how beautifully Tanya crafted this story! It so perfectly captures Nate's, Joshua's, and Sherry's humanity. The way they come together, it's almost like you don't see it coming and can feel the newness of the experience and the joy Nate feels at finally finding what he's been looking for! Loved catching up with Derek and Amanda and Lissie too. ...more

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Jul 04, 2018 Pierre rated it really liked it

Good story with the Tanya Chris touch i.e. likable 3-D characters, unconventional but relatable situations and sexy men who aren't OTT supermodels. Feelings are important but not mawkish. Didn't like the cover but the blurb and previous works by this author convinced me to read it and I fully enjoyed it. ...more

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May 24, 2018 Renee Lee rated it it was amazing

I loved this book! It's not just some mmf menage smut- it's a really great, unconventional love story. I love the characters, flaws and all, and the real conversations they have about what it's like to live with the fear of alienating friends and loved ones while trying to stay true to your own path. All the stars. Buy this book! ...more

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May 14, 2019 Kate rated it really liked it

Thoughtful

A sweet thoughtful story with honest, likable characters. Hot without sacrificing plot or writing for gratuitous sex. I mean, yes, there was plenty of sex, but it wasn't at the expense of the story. ...more

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May 27, 2019 Pernilla added it

Shelves: books-that-i-own, contemporary, diversity, m-m-f, polyamoury, quiltbag, romance, smexytimes

A great poly romance, excellent writing, great, distinct, colourful and variously flawed and likeable characters, and taking the subject of polyamory seriously. Nate's journey with regards to his relationships and his sexuality is very credibly written, and while you sometimes want to knock him upside the head (because obviously he belongs with both Sherry and Joshua), his process is very understandable.

It also deals with the conflicts that may arise when a non-monogamous person and a monogamou ...more

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Melinda rated it liked it
May 17, 2018

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About Tanya Chris

Tanya Chris

219 followers

Tanya writes in a variety of romantic and erotic genres, being an avid follower of many of these genres herself. Some of her favorites are M/M romance, MFM threesomes, and BDSM with male submissives.

Tanya lives in New England with her boyfriend and her cat and has participated in many of the activities about which she writes, but not all of them. It's left to the reader to decide which are which. ...more