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445 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 27, 2018
“Now, if it isn’t too much trouble, Miss Brielle… do your job and go look after my children. If you are uninterested in performing the position you applied for, go find something else, because I can assure you that the position of being a hooker, on your back, in my bed is unavailable.” My eyes fill with tears.
“Twenty-five.” "That's a perfect age. She's old enough to know how to fuck, loose enough to fuck hard, but tight enough to drive you wild."
“No girlfriend. No wife. What do you have?” I ask. His dark eyes hold mine. “Friends with benefits.”
“I’m not here to romance you, Bree, I’m here to take my pleasure from your body.” He leans forward and takes my face in his hands. “And I’m going to fuck you so damn good, no man will ever compare.”
I glance at my watch. It’s 10:30 p.m. We literally just fucked for two hours and now the date is over. He takes my hand and leads me out of the room, back into the elevator and down to the parking lot.
“They are picking on her, and you didn’t even bother to ask for her side of the story. You just believed them without question. What kind of a father does that to his daughter?”
Don’t mistake this for anything other than what it is, Brell. What we have is a friendship with a few orgasms on the side. Nothing more, nothing less. In his words… we have an arrangement.
“Fuck,” he whispers. “What?” “One of my work colleagues is here.” “So?” I frown. “I don’t want them to fucking know about you.”
The entrees come out, but he still doesn’t return to the table. He and the woman are the only two standing by the bar now, and it’s apparent that he’s avoiding sitting down beside me. Okay, now I’m getting pissed.
“Miss Brielle.” He gestures to me. “This is Anna, a work colleague of mine.”
Why did he bring me? I feel so stupid. He says something, and Anna bursts out laughing. The lady opposite me gives me a sad smile.
“I don’t know how you usually treat women, Julian, but let me tell you this… you will never again get the fucking chance to make me feel like you did tonight. ” “How did I make you feel?” he growls. “Like a cheap slut you are taking home to fuck when the night is over.”
He narrows his eyes. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. This isn’t a relationship.”
“Just talk to me, Julian. Tell me what you want.”
“I want a woman who isn’t needy.” I sneer.
“Or… you could hook up with Mr. Masters, who has already fallen in love with his soul mate and lost her. He’s a widow and you will always come second to her no matter what. His house, his job, his children… and you’re left to fit in somewhere around them.”
“You can’t fix Julian, no matter what you do. You can’t turn back time for him. He’s already been there and done that with somebody else.”
“Why are you acting like this, Julian?” she whispers. “Because I can’t stand the thought of someone else touching you.” “Why?” “Because you belong to fucking me,” I admit, losing control.
“How long have you used prostitutes?” “From the age of twenty-four up until the day you walked into my house.”
“And the other women you dated?” I frown. “I continued seeing prostitutes while I was seeing them.”
“When I told you I have never been in love before…. I lied.” He swallows the lump in his throat. I stare into his big brown eyes. “Because I’m in love with you,” he whispers.
“What?” I frown as I look around. “My parents are here.” “So?” “So… we can’t be on a fucking date,” he whispers, dragging me to the back of the restaurant. “They’re going to have to find out about us eventually.” I frown. “No, they’re not,” he whispers angrily, pulling me toward the exit.
“I don’t want anyone to know about us.” He starts the car.
“I don’t want us to be a thing.”
“So, that’s it? As far as you’re concerned we’re just going to keep going on like this?” “Like what?” he snaps. “Sneaking around.” “And what’s wrong with that?”
His looks at me like I’ve gone completely mad. “I’m not marrying again. No way in hell am I ever getting married again, Brielle. Get that shit out of your head right fucking now.”
“I am happy with you, but what about my needs? I’m twenty-six. I’ve never been married and I want my own children.”
My mind goes to Alina. Is this what she dealt with? The silent treatment? While he fucked prostitutes on the side.
He’s pulled away from me without any regret.
“I can’t give you what you want,” he confesses sadly. “I wish I could. I just can’t.” “Yes, you can,” I whisper. “You just don’t want to.” His jaw clenches. “You’re right. I don’t.”
My eyes hold his. “Keep living with Alina’s ghost and go back to your prostitutes. You’re safe there.”
They were never really mine. They were borrowed… From Alina.
Half an hour later, I arrive at Madison’s, my therapist. I always leave here relaxed. I don’t have to talk. I don’t have to think. I don’t have to feel. I walk through the front doors on autopilot.
“Would you like your normal room, sir?”
“Hello,” the feminine voice behind me says.
She kneels in front of me and begins to unfasten my belt. I swallow the lump in my throat. She kisses my thigh. “You like that?” she whispers. I stay silent. Her hand reaches for my cock and she strokes it three times, I clench my jaw.
He has never forgotten Alina. I know he says he never loved her, but on some level he did. She gave him his two greatest gifts and he will be forever grateful that she went through with those pregnancies.
✿ ꜱᴏ, ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴀ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴀꜱꜱ ʀᴀɴᴛ. ɪɴᴅᴇᴇᴅ, ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʜᴀʟꜰᴡᴀʏ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɴ… ʟɪꜰᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ. ꜰ-ᴜ-ɴ.
✿ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛ. ɪᴛ ʜᴀꜱ ɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ʜᴏᴛ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʙʜ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ.
✿ ꜱᴏ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ, ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴍʏ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴜʟɪᴀɴ… ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴘᴇɴɴᴇᴅ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ.