Hugging Death: Essays on Motherhood and Saying Goodbye

by Jean Knight Pace

Everyone’s mother is dead or dying. It is nothing new, nothing ceasing, nothing fresh or interesting. But when your mother is dying and when this dying insists at once that you take notice of it, you feel her bones in your own and that insistence stretches into the vision you have of your own life.This short collection of essays explores life and death–what they take, what they give, and what they leave behind.

42 pages, Paperback

Published March 27, 2018

About the author

Jean Knight Pace is the author of the young adult novels Grey Stone and Grey Lore. She has had work published in Puerto del Sol, The Lakeview Review, and other literary magazines. She’s also written for Dollar Stretcher and Authors Publish. She has a BA in music and an MFA in creative writing. She lives in southern Indiana with her husband, four children, ten ducks, and a cat. She blogs at jeanknightpace.com and tastycheapskate.blogspot.com.

Reviews

[Renee]

A fast and short read about life and death of Jean’s mom. My mother is still alive however I felt some of these same emotions with my Dad when he passed. I thought I might shed a tear or two but I didn’t. These essays share a moment in time and aren’t sad or depressing as you might think based on the subject matter. Thanks for sharing these essays with us.

[Jake Knight]

Disclaimer: The author is my sister and the subject of the essays is my mother.

Obviously I am biased, but I think anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one, especially a mother, will relate to and appreciate these essays. I also think those who have had that experience may be reluctant to read something on the topic but I would suggest they read this. Even with the people these essays are written about being so close to me, I didn’t find them to be emotionally overwhelming or sad or depressing. The essays painted a picture of a memory, a person, a moment, without focusing solely on the pain and grief of losing someone.

[Liz Boyd]

I didn't realize when I picked up this book that it would be something so close to home and allow me solace. While unknown to me when I picked it up, my mother-in-law quickly went from needing a surgery to passing on to the next life. I bonded with the simplicity of some of these chapters and appreciate her ability to record something so personal and yet universal.

[Elizabeth Brewer]

Beautifully written and haunting tribute

Beautiful prose that spoke to my heart. I also cared for my mother until she died of cancer. These essays speak to that loss and the privilege of "loving someone to death". It left me wanting to read more about her experience.

[Rachel]

"Everyone's mother is dead or dying." Wow! Not only is this a powerful opening to one of the author's essays, but it is also an unfortunately true statement. Everyone can relate, but no one wants to. Hugging Death is a tribute to mothers and daughters and the stuff in between. The stuff that binds us.

Do you have a mother? Or a daughter? Or a family member battling something terminal? That about covers all of us. The words in this short book are eloquent and honest and sad. They personalize death in a way that makes us want to wrap our arms around it, hugging it as we do our beautiful mothers. A difficult thing to do when writing about the unspeakable.

[Exponent II]

Though my own daughters are adopted, as I have parented, I have seen things in me that are my mother—and likewise, I see things in my daughters that are me. Thus, when I read Jean Knight Pace’s Hugging Death: Essays on Motherhood and Saying Goodbye, I could relate to much of what she wrote—the bravery of women, then longing for connection, the complications of everyday life. The book is a short read, but yet a collection of powerful personal essays that relay the complicated feelings we each have with life, death, love and, of course, mothers....to read more of this review, please visit the Exponent blog here: https://www.the-exponent.com/nurturin...

[Claires Books]

Heartstrings

I wonder if I should write a review the moment I have finished this book.... My feelings are tender and dripping from my eyes.... I love my mother just before I turned 16 and there are pieces that tug at my heartstrings as I feel the memories and keep the remembrances alive too. Jean has captured truth in simplicity, but full as eternity... It gave me more insight into my cousin and into her children as the sweetness and hardness of life were shared and received.

[Jsablack00]

Beautiful, tender book about losing your mom.

Real look at losing your mom. Loved it. If you've lost your mom you will relate to this tender look into the author's own experience. Brought back the beautiful love between a mother and daughter. Short, sweet and honest look at facing morality for yourself and your parents. Losing your mom is hard at any age and this is a beautiful remembrance of the relationship the author head with her mother.

[Sherrie Gavin]

A great read for mothers and daughters alike!

Though my mother is yet alive, and my children are adopted, I could relate to much of what the author wrote. I found that she wrote about the bravery of women, then longing for connection, the complications of everyday life. The book is a short read, but beautiful collection of powerful personal essays that relay the complicated feelings we each have with life, death, love and, of course, mothers.

[Jaime]

So beautiful.

I could almost not breathe as I read this short collection of essays and thoughts related to the death of a mother. The author paints a vivid, honest, complex but oh-so-simple portrait of the emotions and experiences surrounding the loss of her Mom. I am so grateful she shared her experience and her heart with us here.

[Sharon K. Woolsey]

Very concise story of triumph and heart break

A journey with her Mother to the end with the understanding what her Mother gave her in.birth and life. A precious remembrance of life and death.

[JS]

Touching, short essays about her mother's death. Hit very close to home, especially the essay about rings, which was almost exactly how I experienced dealing with my mom's body after her death.

Very short.

[Brooke]

A wonderful, thoughtful collection of essays dealing with the death of the author’s mother. While my mother is still living, I know I will go through this sooner than I’d like.

[Arthea Billingsley]

Awesome

A very good book, straight and to the point, both laughing and crying, I loved it, have recommended to friends.

[C. Bowen]

I'm glad I took the time to read this.

My mother passed two years ago. Jean's words and memories gave me a bit of comfort I didn't realize I needed.
Touching and well written.

[Krista Schumacher]

Beautiful and heartbreaking collection of essays about mothers and daughters and coming to terms with the loss of a mother. Excellent writing and emotionally driven. I loved it.

[Sadie]

Such a beautiful, flowing, deeply personal read. I teetered between crying and laughing as I turned each page! I don’t know the last time I sat and read a full book, but I did with this one. It was much shorter than I expected.

One of my favorite parts of this book is that the stories shifted across different time periods of her life rather than chronologically; this reflects beautifully on how I think most of our memories really work. It was like a tapestry of meaningful, life shaping moments for her, that can be reflected in anyone’s life.

I would recommend this book to anyone, but especially to anyone who has lost a child or a parent. It was a comfort to me while losing the daughter we were suppose to adopt.