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How to Date Men When You Hate Men

3.42  ·  Rating details ·  3,548 ratings  ·  662 reviews
From New Yorker and Onion writer and comedian Blythe Roberson, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedy-philosophy audiobook aimed at interrogating what it means to date men within the trappings of modern society...

Early Praise for How to Date Men When You Hate Men:

"How To Date Men When You Hate Men is an incredibly funny read that was surely not written when Blythe
Audio CD
Published January 8th 2019 by MacMillan Audio
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Average rating 3.42  · 
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 ·  3,548 ratings  ·  662 reviews

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Jun 25, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book makes me embarrassed to be straight. It starts off promising as you’re introduced to Roberson’s lighthearted writing style, in which she balances flippant humor with questions of how we can navigate romantic relationships with a group that has all the systemic power. I assumed that she would dive deeper into those topics because she had introduced them in the first chapter, but it turns out she only grazes the surface in an attempt to have more substance than she lets on. But this book ...more
Dec 22, 2018 marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
all 2019 releases are cancelled because THIS IS A MOOD

also thumbs up to all those wise people out there who have decided to only like girls, I'm, like, so jealous
Feb 13, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Did you know that all the problems in the world are caused by men? Yup. And if you don't agree, you're part of the problem either because you're stupid or because the patriarchy has brainwashed you. *rolls eyes*

Why did I read a book with such a title? Because the blurp and the fact that the author writes for The Onion promised a satirical take on all the funny things we silly humans do during courtship.

What did I get in reality? The account of an apparently bitter woman who (according to her own
Krista Regester
I am underwhelmed and need to immediately read something gay.
Jan 08, 2019 rated it it was ok
2.5 stars.

This wasn't bad, it just wasn't for me.

I went in expecting a funny feminist analysis of modern dating. This read MUCH more like a mix between memoir and self-help. Again, that's not BAD, it's just not my jam.

It didn't help that my own dating experiences (and just general opinions about romance and dating) differ wildly from Roberson's.

I would have liked a more in-depth look at how Roberson's experiences reflect greater problems in society. I agree with Roberson's assertion that w
I listened to this entire audiobook this afternoon on my six hour plane ride, and I will say that it kept me entertained even though I think the title is incredibly misleading. This isn’t really about her “hating men” it’s kind of the opposite, she spends the entire book talking about her disastrous dates and how men flirt with her but say they aren’t flirting and she brings up Timothy Chalemet and Harry Styles like a million times. It was funny in the beginning but it got old fast for me and it ...more
Dec 10, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: firstreads, humor
I won this book in a goodreads drawing.

A writer for the Stephen Colbert Show writes a parody of a dating manual. If one is a fan of Colbert they might like it. The author herself doesn't seem to know much about dating, or about anything else, really, except for PC talking points.

The funniest part is that the author doesn't see the irony inherent in an Ivy Leaguer telling other people to check their privilege.
Amanda Morgan
Nov 14, 2018 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: first-reads
Pretty disappointed in this book. I was under the impression it was supposed to be funny.

This is a tale of the 27-year-old author's meager dating life. I say meager, because the author believes she has never actually dated anybody. She occasionally talks about how she's "boned" and "boinked" numerous men.

Everyone else falls under categories such as "crushes," "boys she kisses," or "friends," which leads me to believe the author is actually a 12-year-old girl, since that's how my pre-teen daught
Jan 10, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: pc, bb-2019
This book didn’t change my life, but it made feel a hell of a lot better about it. I certainly check most of the boxes in terms of target audience, so this probably won't apply to all readers, but I feel like rather than read a strangers book, I just hung out with a really cool friend-of-a-friend for an extended period of time. Though perhaps a more appropriate title would be “why it’s really frustrating but also sometimes exhilarating and definitely exhausting to try and mostly fail to date men ...more
Feb 13, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor, nonfiction
This book:
- was pretty funny
- did not live up to the promise of its truly excellent title
- seemed to be an example of a genre that I think of as "printed off blog entries" even though this was never originally a blog. like I'm just on the cusp of being like, are we okay with just including AIM-style verbs like "*prints off blog entry*" in books now? I guess we are?
- I definitely found chunks of this extremely funny and #relatable
- I found other chunks bewildering; for example I have never as an
Sinead  S
Oct 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
How to Date Men When You Hate Men is one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time. Blythe Roberson does a fantastic job describing the universal frustration with dating and finding “the one.” If you are a female identified person who happens to have dated, currently dates, or wants to date men, there’s something in this book for you. If you are none of those things there is probably still something in this book for you.
Particular topics of interest:
-Is this actually a date?
-Years long cru
Sher❤ The Fabulous BookLover
I refuse to waste anymore time of my life on this book. It reads like it was written by a 5 year old. Let’s just say it’s not what I was expecting...
Feb 03, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book is a random collection of thoughts and tweets from a New York-based, self-described feminist. It doesn’t offer any true insight about relationships, despite the title’s implication that the author has learned something she wants to share.

The book’s writer doesn’t seem to “hate men” either - she loves to “have crushes” on many guys at once, daydream about them, and “boink” dudes on the regular. It’s maybe a little juvenile, but it’s definitely not a form of disgust. I’m not sure why th
♠ TABI⁷ ♠
what a brilliant title
Jan 19, 2019 rated it did not like it
Only good thing about this book is the title
Jan 15, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2019
DNF at ~120, but frankly should’ve stopped earlier. The title? Incredible. And yet, this book gave no genuinely interesting advice and read like the erratic rants of someone who is not funny and has no experience in any subject related to dating.
It’s hard for me to review this book. It was well written and it throws a lot of terminology around that made me feel giddy like ah! Somebody else thinks about these things. Not to mention the title is a MOOD. But overall, I didn’t love it. There’s something about it that makes it very hard for me to fully connect to it. It’s as if the book didn’t know what it wanted to be.
Kris Patrick
Jun 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I love that my husband will simply shrug at my reading choices like this one before returning to Jeopardy or checking the National Doppler Radar website for the eighty seventh time that week. If you asked me ten years ago about the possibility of ending up with a Republican, I would have gagged. And look what happened! While I'll never be able to explain intersectional feminism to my husband, I've made peace with that. He is incredibly good looking (have you seen my Instagram??), he cleans our h ...more
Stephanie Krois
Nov 22, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I received an ARC of this book from a Goodreads giveaway.

First, let me say that this book is not about hating men. It chronicles the authors experiences dating while giving commentary on societal expectations placed on men and women. I found myself laughing out loud for a good chunk of the book, and some of the passages sound just like conversations I’ve had myself with my friends. It’s a little unorganized at times, but overall it was an enjoyable read. I think what I liked most was her love fo
Feb 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook
I don't know that this book had any answers, but it's full of things I've been thinking about, like what it means to be in a relationship or dating at this point in social history. Plus it's written (and read!) by a possibly emotionally stunted millennial who thinks incredibly highly of herself, so you could say I felt some kinship with the author. ...more
Jan 21, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: audio, library
I appreciate the idea of this one more than the actual execution, I think. Perfectly fine memoir, just not super memorable- though I love the angle of it, e.g. how a woke feminist in 2019 figures out how to negotiate wanting to have romantic relationships with the group that has all the systemic power. I'd be interested read something on this topic that was closer to philosophy or sociology than memoir ...more
Jul 31, 2019 rated it really liked it
Funny and entertaining summary of "love" relations between men /women. Blythe tells the "crushing" truth about many female behaviors as we navigate the dating world.

Like so many things, enjoy and don't over think it.

Note: I received this book in a give away from the publisher. I was not asked for a review.
Feb 04, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Was entertaining, but was a bit too much about dating and not enough about hating men for my taste.

Read for the Read Harder Challenge #4: A humor book.
Aug 16, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adult, non-fiction, essays
No, she does not hate men. And no, I didn't think it was misleading (she explains the title in the Introduction). I need more time to articulate my thoughts on this one; more to follow.


That title is genius and man, do I feel seen. Blythe Roberson is a writer and a comedian so I went in expecting a funny exploration of what it means to date men (as a heterosexual female) in a world that still has trouble digesting feminism and letting go of patriarchy. And my expectations were mostly met.

Kira Simion
Oct 11, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2019
I am all for knocking people off of their high pedestals (in some cases of court, and in some cases where there is true sexism against females and different races), but....

What the fuck is this......?

First of all, the title? It can be seen as humorous and a little dumb? This is how I see it since if you "hate men" so much that you are putting it in the title, why are you dating them??? First impressions not the best.

And last bit I am willing to go over honestly:

She made a spreadsheet about her c
Giselle A Nguyen
Mar 13, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book is very funny and silly but also has so many brilliant little nuggets of truth about patriarchy and power structures. Roberson manages to weave in a lot of cultural theory as well which has inflated my to read list by 4000 books at least. I love her and I hope she will be my best friend forever.
3.5 stars

Rounded up because mathematical reasons and Reasons.

If you're the kind of person who reads the title and gets offended, you should probably read this book — but we all know you won't. How to Date Men When You Hate Men is NOT about hating men, but it's about dating men when you live in a patriarchal society that teaches men to mistreat and look down upon women. Even the most "woke" men are prey to this: they benefit from a society that women do not, and so this book is a perspective of w
Feb 10, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-2019
I don’t even know what I think about this book. On one hand, any kind of love and dating advice from someone young enough to love One Direction is ummm weird. I definitely felt old reading this. But on the other hand there were some really fantastic points and sections.

Much more memoir than a feminist exploration of dating. I expected more analysis and discussion of patriarchy and oppression but while it was included, it wasn’t the main thrust of the book. As well, a lot of humour that, being th
Sep 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this so much! I read it over the course of thinking about/flirting with, dating, and then not dating a man for the first time, and even if everything wasn't always super relatable to me, it spoke to me. I definitely think it's ideal to pick up in small doses, though, because I imagine the writing style *could* get grating in one sitting. But, like I said, I found it delightful! ...more
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This is a topic ripe for a great book. Unfortunately this was not it.
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Blythe Roberson is a writer and comedian whose work has been published by the New Yorker, The Onion, ClickHole, VICE Magazine, and others, and has been mentioned by the New York Times, the Washington Post, and New York Mag. She works as a researcher at The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Articles featuring this book

New Yorker and Onion writer Blythe Roberson's new book How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedic philosophy book about what it means to...
52 likes · 44 comments
“Even more than I hate commodifying myself, I hate men judging me as a commodity. For thousands of years, women have been throughout their lives reduced to their worth as sexual objects (slash domestic workers). We learn very early on to go to great lengths to increase our sexual value in the eyes of men, without even realizing that’s why we’re (for example) agonizing over whether our one snack for the day should be a pear or a seventy-calorie sugar-free yogurt. For years—much of my childhood and early twenties—I spent the largest portion of my conscious thought on food and how much I hated and was terrified of my body. It has taken a lot of work to divorce my view of my body and my feelings of romantic worthiness from outside sources. I’m afraid apps would undermine that effort.” 1 likes
“Like, Plato’s Symposium contains a story about soul mates: human beings were originally four-legged, four-armed, two-faced beings who had immense strength and were always cartwheeling around, perfectly content. To prevent these powerful humans from taking over, the gods split each human into two, who then wandered the earth looking for their soul mates. That is … the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” 1 likes
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