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The Last of the Navel Navigators
Discovered in a swamp and raised by hillbillies, Jellybean 'Gator Bait' Skratcher soon learns he has the astounding ability to open portals to other worlds, using his bellybutton.
He sets out on an epic adventure across a hostile universe, led by a scatterbrained stork who's made it his mission in life to deliver Jellybean to the right parents, or die trying.
But when your best friend's a goat, and your greatest hope for survival relies solely upon a talentless magician who can only do card tricks, nothing is likely to go as planned!
Comedy Fantasy for readers aged 9-12.
He sets out on an epic adventure across a hostile universe, led by a scatterbrained stork who's made it his mission in life to deliver Jellybean to the right parents, or die trying.
But when your best friend's a goat, and your greatest hope for survival relies solely upon a talentless magician who can only do card tricks, nothing is likely to go as planned!
Comedy Fantasy for readers aged 9-12.
216 pages, Paperback
First published March 17, 2018
About the author
David Hailwood
58 books8 followersDavid Hailwood used to write whilst hanging upside-down by his legs from a tree. Now he's an adult he's apparently not allowed to do that sort of thing any more, so instead he sits at home in his office, cackling manically at his computer (occasionally he remembers to switch it on).
With over 20 years experience of working in the UK comics market, his brain-matter has leaked onto the pages of numerous comic anthologies, including Egmont's Toxic, Strip magazine, Bulletproof, Accent UK, Futurequake, Violent and Meanwhile.
He's had comedy material broadcast on ITV and E4, been shortlisted for several BBC sitcom competitions, writes children's novels and edits the ‘100% Biodegradable’ comics anthology.
His debut children's novel 'The Last Of The Navel Navigators' was awarded a First as part of his Creative Writing MA at Chichester University.
With over 20 years experience of working in the UK comics market, his brain-matter has leaked onto the pages of numerous comic anthologies, including Egmont's Toxic, Strip magazine, Bulletproof, Accent UK, Futurequake, Violent and Meanwhile.
He's had comedy material broadcast on ITV and E4, been shortlisted for several BBC sitcom competitions, writes children's novels and edits the ‘100% Biodegradable’ comics anthology.
His debut children's novel 'The Last Of The Navel Navigators' was awarded a First as part of his Creative Writing MA at Chichester University.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
October 21, 2019
I did not like this book at all. Now, to be fair, I'm not the intended audience. It clearly states it's an adventure for 9 year olds, and I am no longer a 9 year... not by a long shot.
That said, I still feel it lacked a lot of things that make for a decent story. To start with, not one of the main characters are likeable. Caspian is a horrible person, Erasimus is a terrible bird, Balthazar is the worst and Jellybean... Well, he's mostly fine but not really someone you would want to "lead" in a story. There's no discernible plot, and while there's an argument that you don't really need a plot, I feel that nothing really interesting happens. I finished the book because I felt obligated to do so if I wanted to leave a review (you can't really review something you don't finish right?), and I really wanted to put my thoughts down on this one.
I don't think David Hailwood is a bad writer, but I do think he was trying extra hard to make this book funny (the humour fell flat for me... I'm not 9, but still... Pixar movies make me laugh and they're aimed for younger audiences too), and slapstick, but failing at both.
I bought this book looking for a fun adventure and was intrigued by the premise (the Navel Navigator hook is pretty good) but was utterly disappointed for the 3 or 4 hours it took me to begrudgingly finish the book. This was not a fun adventure....
That said, I still feel it lacked a lot of things that make for a decent story. To start with, not one of the main characters are likeable. Caspian is a horrible person, Erasimus is a terrible bird, Balthazar is the worst and Jellybean... Well, he's mostly fine but not really someone you would want to "lead" in a story. There's no discernible plot, and while there's an argument that you don't really need a plot, I feel that nothing really interesting happens. I finished the book because I felt obligated to do so if I wanted to leave a review (you can't really review something you don't finish right?), and I really wanted to put my thoughts down on this one.
I don't think David Hailwood is a bad writer, but I do think he was trying extra hard to make this book funny (the humour fell flat for me... I'm not 9, but still... Pixar movies make me laugh and they're aimed for younger audiences too), and slapstick, but failing at both.
I bought this book looking for a fun adventure and was intrigued by the premise (the Navel Navigator hook is pretty good) but was utterly disappointed for the 3 or 4 hours it took me to begrudgingly finish the book. This was not a fun adventure....
May 25, 2018
Hailwood mixes the always-amusing subject of bodily functions with a fast-paced chase across fantastical worlds to create a story that is sure to appeal to any child who has wondered if garden gnomes can be worn as shoes.
When a freak storm strikes the stork carrying him, Jellybean, a baby navel navigator, is dumped into a US swamp instead of the arms of his parents-to-be. Raised by the casually violent Pa Skratcher, he assumes living in a hut in a swamp is all there is—until he accidentally opens a portal to another world while getting a really good piece of fluff out of his belly button. Hoping to save his pet goat from squishy death, he sets off across the universe, accompanied by a self-absorbed wizard and the stork that was supposed to deliver him to his parents.
Hailwood creates a universe where girls are still icky, and everything icky—apart from girls—is great fun. From lucky dip made of monster dung to worms eaten from a hunchback’s hump, the narrative offers plenty of amusingly gross action.
However, this isn’t just a series of low-brow jokes. Under the toilet gags, ickiness, and pratfalls is a fast-paced tale of growing up (a little). With all three of his companions having different goals and no idea of exactly how navel navigation works, Jellybean must learn both what to do and how to choose what he does.
And along the way, he learns plenty of new facts about the effects of porridge on shared pockets, the entertainment options of being eaten, and how many fingers is normal for a pair of boots.
Jellybean himself is a solidly crafted protagonist for this tale: raised away from civilisation by a man who took years to decide on a name for him but was always quick to threaten violence, he is almost a blank slate for the opportunities of the universe. This upbringing also makes his cheerful make-do attitude and the ease with which he ignores great danger very plausible.
The supporting cast are similarly a mix of comedy and reality: the wizard is self-centred and self-aggrandizing, but also cunning enough to make a good companion; the stork is obsessed with completing the delivery of Jellybean even if Jellybean doesn’t care, but also provides actually useful information; even Brian the goat does more than just chew things.
Overall, I found this book enjoyable but (entirely reasonably) a little juvenile for my taste. I recommend it to readers seeking middle-grade humorous fantasy.
I received a free copy of this book from the author with a request for a fair review.
When a freak storm strikes the stork carrying him, Jellybean, a baby navel navigator, is dumped into a US swamp instead of the arms of his parents-to-be. Raised by the casually violent Pa Skratcher, he assumes living in a hut in a swamp is all there is—until he accidentally opens a portal to another world while getting a really good piece of fluff out of his belly button. Hoping to save his pet goat from squishy death, he sets off across the universe, accompanied by a self-absorbed wizard and the stork that was supposed to deliver him to his parents.
Hailwood creates a universe where girls are still icky, and everything icky—apart from girls—is great fun. From lucky dip made of monster dung to worms eaten from a hunchback’s hump, the narrative offers plenty of amusingly gross action.
However, this isn’t just a series of low-brow jokes. Under the toilet gags, ickiness, and pratfalls is a fast-paced tale of growing up (a little). With all three of his companions having different goals and no idea of exactly how navel navigation works, Jellybean must learn both what to do and how to choose what he does.
And along the way, he learns plenty of new facts about the effects of porridge on shared pockets, the entertainment options of being eaten, and how many fingers is normal for a pair of boots.
Jellybean himself is a solidly crafted protagonist for this tale: raised away from civilisation by a man who took years to decide on a name for him but was always quick to threaten violence, he is almost a blank slate for the opportunities of the universe. This upbringing also makes his cheerful make-do attitude and the ease with which he ignores great danger very plausible.
The supporting cast are similarly a mix of comedy and reality: the wizard is self-centred and self-aggrandizing, but also cunning enough to make a good companion; the stork is obsessed with completing the delivery of Jellybean even if Jellybean doesn’t care, but also provides actually useful information; even Brian the goat does more than just chew things.
Overall, I found this book enjoyable but (entirely reasonably) a little juvenile for my taste. I recommend it to readers seeking middle-grade humorous fantasy.
I received a free copy of this book from the author with a request for a fair review.
July 5, 2018
With is a fast and furious space adventure with tons of fantasy, ridiculous moments and simple fun.
The stork was supposed to deliver the baby to his parents, but thanks to an unexpected even, the baby landed in the swamp to be raised by deep, south hillbillies. Branded later with the name Jellybean, the boy accidentally opens a portal to space and adventure. It turns out that he's a navigator, a rare breed indeed, and he has a mission. But not only is he clueless about everything, his newly won sidekicks aren't any better. Pure chaos is unavoidable.
These pages fly by with super sonic speed and carry tons of imagination with them. Jellybean first comes across a little lost in his own skin but not unhappy with his situation completely. He has tons of room to grow as he discovers the endless possibilities...and I do mean endless...of the universe and his own existence. And he seems to handle all of it with a simple form of finesse.
The quirky humor knows no bounds when it comes not only to the various places and obstacles Jellybean faces, and those around him are original in every way. The dialogue and exchanges especially hit in rapid form. At times, it's so fast that it comes across as a roller coaster ride and borders on chaos. The main meat of the story takes a bit to dig in, but this book concentrates on fun. Some jokes might go over readers' heads, but silliness is definitely king. Especially boys will enjoy diving into this one.
Fans of quirky humor and space adventure in a very imaginative array will be taken on quite a ride in this tale
I received a complimentary copy and enjoyed it so much that I wanted to leave my honest thoughts.
The stork was supposed to deliver the baby to his parents, but thanks to an unexpected even, the baby landed in the swamp to be raised by deep, south hillbillies. Branded later with the name Jellybean, the boy accidentally opens a portal to space and adventure. It turns out that he's a navigator, a rare breed indeed, and he has a mission. But not only is he clueless about everything, his newly won sidekicks aren't any better. Pure chaos is unavoidable.
These pages fly by with super sonic speed and carry tons of imagination with them. Jellybean first comes across a little lost in his own skin but not unhappy with his situation completely. He has tons of room to grow as he discovers the endless possibilities...and I do mean endless...of the universe and his own existence. And he seems to handle all of it with a simple form of finesse.
The quirky humor knows no bounds when it comes not only to the various places and obstacles Jellybean faces, and those around him are original in every way. The dialogue and exchanges especially hit in rapid form. At times, it's so fast that it comes across as a roller coaster ride and borders on chaos. The main meat of the story takes a bit to dig in, but this book concentrates on fun. Some jokes might go over readers' heads, but silliness is definitely king. Especially boys will enjoy diving into this one.
Fans of quirky humor and space adventure in a very imaginative array will be taken on quite a ride in this tale
I received a complimentary copy and enjoyed it so much that I wanted to leave my honest thoughts.
September 25, 2019
Bought this for my nephew, so wasn't really for me. Some of the plot is a bit sketchy. I thought I'd missed a chapter at one point. It really bothered me that most female characters are weapons or old, ugly tricksters. Not that any of the characters are particularly pleasant in description.
However I think my nephew will enjoy it. It is fast paced and just a little crazy. It did make me laugh in a few places, not an easy feat - I don't get most things that others find funny.
Do like the concept of travelling to different worlds via your bellybutton.
However I think my nephew will enjoy it. It is fast paced and just a little crazy. It did make me laugh in a few places, not an easy feat - I don't get most things that others find funny.
Do like the concept of travelling to different worlds via your bellybutton.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews