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Jos kuolema on vienyt sinulta jotakin anna se takaisin : Carlin kirja

4.46  ·  Rating details ·  1,137 ratings  ·  140 reviews
Maaliskuussa 2015 Naja Marie Aidtin poika Carl kuoli onnettomuudessa, vain 25-vuotiaana. Kirja kuvaa ensimmäistä vuotta musertavan puhelun jälkeen: se on sekä selonteko elämästä lapsen menetyksen jälkeen siitä miten murhe muuttaa käsityksen todellisuudesta, toisista ihmisistä ja ajasta että kirja kielestä itsestään, runoudesta, menetyksestä ja rakkaudesta.
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Hardcover, 159 pages
Published March 2018 by S&S (first published March 24th 2017)
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Average rating 4.46  · 
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 ·  1,137 ratings  ·  140 reviews


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Start your review of Jos kuolema on vienyt sinulta jotakin anna se takaisin : Carlin kirja
Elyse (retired from reviewing/semi hiatus) Walters
My heart sank!
This book is achingly tragic...

Danish author, Naja Marie Aidt’s, son died in a car accident.
She writes about grief....and love.

“I think about you all the time and there are moments when I don’t think about you. It’s not a contradiction. I carry you with me always, including when for a moment or longer I’m not thinking about you. When I think of you with sorrow when I start thinking about what happened to you everything in my body sinks. It’s a feeling of heaviness from the
...more
Vivek Tejuja
Oct 31, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
You cannot overcome grief. Grief hangs around, till it decides to leave you. Till such time you cannot get rid of it. It will not let go. As Naja Marie Aidt puts it so eloquently, that it breaks your heart: “Sorrow cannot be cured”.

When Death Takes Something From You Give It Back: Carl’s Book is a book about Naja’s son Carl and how she and her family lost him when he was twenty-five years old. Lost him to what? Lost him to whom? How does one overcome such a loss? Does one really? The answer is
...more
Jim Coughenour
Aug 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir, grief
When my uncle died in a small plane crash, in the first few days afterwards some well-meaning Christian handed my aunt A Grief Observed. Even (especially?) as a teenager, this struck me as stupidity. Who could read a book at such a moment? In later years I’ve heard people praise books I’m sure I’d admire: Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking or Anne Carson’s Nox. I’ve never read them. Others I did buy (but not read): Grief is the Thing with Feathers; In the Dark Room. I did start reading ...more
Rebecca
In March 2015 Aidt got a call telling her that her second of four sons, Carl Emil, was dead. The 25-year-old experienced drug-induced psychosis after taking some mushrooms that he and his friend had grown in their flat and, naked, jumped out of his fifth-floor Copenhagen window. By the time he was transported to a hospital, the same one where he was born, a ventilator was the only thing keeping him alive and it was time to discuss donating his organs. But it took much longer for Aidt and her ...more
Jaclyn (sixminutesforme)
"Most of what I read about raw grief and lamentation is fragmentary. It's chaotic, not artistic. Often the writer doesn't have the strength to use capital letters after periods. Often the writer doesn't have the strength to complete the fragment. It can't be completed. The writing stays open and pours this inability out through everything that can't be expressed. A hole in which death vibrates. It's not possible to write artistically about raw grief. No form fits."

I knew going into this book
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June
Sep 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Early in Aidt’s reflection on her adult son’s tragic death, she states that it is impossible to write artfully about raw grief, that “words sit inadequate and silly on the lines, the lines stop abruptly on their own.” And yet she had done just that. Her restless grief takes many forms – prose, poetry, essay – all conjuring what she refers to as a “kaleidoscopic” portrait of her son. Those who have suffered traumatic loss will recognize themselves in her text, and it is a gift.
Dhivyaa Naraayani
'now we shall hear about what no one wants to hear about'

The book quite literally broke me. It is fragmented, shattering and poetic. Naja lost her son Carl in the March of 2015. The book is from a mother who lost her child, how grief torments the living, how you learn to live through it and how despite loss attempting to take the life out of you, you learn to give back all the love to the living, to the dead and most importantly to yourself.

I cannot begin to comprehend the sadness the mother
...more
Tamsen
Nov 14, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Beautiful, painful. I thought the author's breakdown of the 'night of terror', when they discover her son is dead to his death, with its repetition of sentences was exquisite. The repetition made me think of waves. It made me think of some lines by Carsten Jensen: "The women's song was always the same, as monotonous as the beating of waves against the beach: loss, loss. The conch offered them no enchantment. When they put their ear to it, all they heard was the echo of their mourning."

Some lines
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Sam
Oct 07, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a memoir dealing with personal loss of a loved one. The author tries to give us a full picture of her response to the loss in what could be called a notebook recording her various responses, emotional and intellectual, as she tries to process this event. I was engrossed in her emotional retelling of what happened, but various
allusions to other authors on loss and other bits that interrupt that emotional immediacy did not work for me.
Outi
May 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2018, grief
A mother's diary of grief over her son who died at the of 25 in 2015. It's fragmented and uses for example repetition, poems and typography to mimic the experience of sudden loss.

I read it in two parts: it was hard to read but also demanded full attention from the reader. When you sort of surrender to the text, it flows like grief does, there's also a lot of anger and a lot of explanations and attempts to explain and understand. Such a powerful, sad book.
Jonathan
Apr 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Absolutely heartbreaking and astounding. A short series of journal entries, poems, thoughts, and feelings that absolutely gut you
Cassie (book__gal)
When Death Takes Something From You Give It Back - the title alone tells you you’re about to read something that will command your respect and your heart. Fortunately, the book’s contents live up to its sturdy title. March 2015, Naja Marie Aidt lost her son Carl to a devastating accident. The moments of that fateful phone call and the following years after are chronicled here, as Aidt attempts to move through her grief, and find some semblance of what reality can look like after the most ...more
Mandy
Oct 31, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition


This book will gut you.

I didn't actually cry physical tears while reading this book but my soul did, if that makes sense?

If you have ever experienced a loss of a someone who meant oh-so-much to you, Aidt does a profound job expressing grief in an astonishingly beautiful way. Her words are intense, filled with raw emotion that will hug you because "Finally, someone gets it!" and tear you apart because "Someone gets it."
Karen
Sep 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
Simply, this is a book about a mother's grief. It focuses on the otherworldliness of grief.
Connie Karlzen
Jan 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
It pictures grief in a new dimension. I felt her pain through every page. SUCH A fucking well written book!
Tori
Oct 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
highly recommend. there are no words to describe personal grief but Naja covey's what grief feels like in her words, in the words of others and in the manner in which this story is written.
Kim
Oct 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, literary
this book was gorgeous but i am DISTRAUGHT
M
Don't do mushrooms. And if your son has a pot habit -- start asking questions.
Sammie
Oct 08, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: edelweiss-2019
You can read my full review on my blog, The Writerly Way, here.

Many thanks to Edelweiss and Coffee House Press for an eARC in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion.


I try to make an effort to read more poetry, and this year’s theme for me seems to be grief, as I struggle with my own. What particularly spoke to me about Mrs. Aidt’s work is that this book was written as a way for her to come to terms with her own grief and as she learned to cope, and that in itself was appealing. Because grief
...more
Crysty
Nov 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
"I don't know if at any other point I've been interested in seeing a healer. I've never met one or sought one out since that time in the maternity ward with you. I sought one out again because I wanted someone to heal my sorrow. I wasn't looking for someone who sees sorrow as a project to complete. I did't want to take it on as a project. I didn't want to partake in treating sorrow as a project. The idea of sorrow as a project to complete disgusts me. The idea of sorrow as a project to complete ...more
B.r. Stagg
Oct 01, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"Most of what I read about raw grief and lamentation is fragmentary. It’s chaotic, not artistic. Often the writer doesn’t have the strength to use capital letters after periods. Often the writer doesn’t have the strength to complete the fragment. It can’t be completed. The writing stays open and pours this inability out through everything that can’t be expressed. A hole in which death vibrates. It’s not possible to write artistically about raw grief. No form fits. To write about actual ...more
Rebecca H.
This book tells the story of the death of Naja Marie Aidt’s son Carl at the age of 25. It’s a difficult, searing book, one that will make you cry, so be prepared. It’s also formally inventive: it’s poetic and fragmentary and uses space on the page in ways that capture the anguish of the experience. Aidt was with her family in March, 2015, when she received a call that her son was in an accident and was on life support at the hospital. The family rushed to his side, but there was nothing the ...more
Christa Van
The author's child died in an accident at age 25 and the family can not cope. How do you deal with such loss? The raw emotions on display here can be jarring but this is the real deal. How to decide if his undamaged organs should be harvested? How to deal with the constant reminders of his life and of his death? How to continue on with your life, your surviving children, anything productive? The author smoked a lot of cigarettes while pondering and writing. The pain revealed is substantial. Not ...more
Richard Santos
Jul 19, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A tragic gem of a book. This is one of those hard books to categorize. It’s a memoir, it’s a journal of grief, it’s a portrait of the author’s brilliant son, it’s a poetic mediation on what it means to live and how we deal with death—and not only death but the sudden death of a child. Okay, maybe it’s not hard to categorize, those are the categories I just listed I suppose. But it’s hard to understand how Naja Marie Aidt was able to fill each of those categories with so much warmth and humanity. ...more
Sandra Zaid
Nov 05, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The title attracted my attention because since the sudden death of my daughter I have been asking myself Hoenig to give back some of the immense love she gave so unselfishly during her short 23 years of life on earth. “When death takes something from you give it back, give back what you got from the dead one when he [she] was alive, when he [she] was your heart” wrote the author in a poem when his son was years younger.
The book is a very raw and fine piece of literature every bereaved parent
...more
Sorayya Khan
Aug 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a raw and unflinching look at grief--the way it consumes you and fragments you. Naja Marie Aidt presents a written form that encompasses grief. It, too, is fragmentary and eclipses time. It stitches together pieces of poems, essays, letters, and lists others have written, including the author, her son, poets, essayists. The written word helps the author survive her son's death, but just as powerful is family, which gathers the pieces she has become. Incredibly moving, endlessly ...more
Mira | I Read Like Phoebe Runs
A book about the worst thing imaginable, the death of your own child, and the impossible grief that comes after it. The story is in little pieces that come together like a skillfully knitted quilt, and as brutally as it breaks your heart it also... gives you something, a lot actually, to be thankful for.
Karla Strand
May 07, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Absolutely heartbreaking.
Christina Maisano
Astounding book about grief. You’ll never read another like it.
Adora
Nov 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Ripped me apart.
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Naja Marie Aidt is a Danish poet and writer. She was born in Greenland, and spent some of her childhood there. She published her first book of poetry in 1991, and in 2008 she was awarded the Nordic Council's Literature Prize.
“Men jeg ser dig alligevel klart. Selvom jeg ikke nødvendigvis ser dig sandt. Måske ser jeg dele af dig, ingen andre kan se. Måske er sandheden om et menneske kalejdoskopisk. Alle blikkene udgør tilsammen et prisme, som er dig.” 0 likes
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