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We Used To Be Friends

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3.67  ·  Rating details ·  205 ratings  ·  112 reviews
Two best friends grow up—and grow apart—in this innovative contemporary YA novel

Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable,
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Kindle Edition, 384 pages
Published January 7th 2020 by Amulet
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Average rating 3.67  · 
Rating details
 ·  205 ratings  ·  112 reviews


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Kate Welsh
Jan 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
SO MANY FEELINGS. This made me cry ON A BUS. Friend breakups are so terrible and we so rarely talk about them!
E.
so 2020 will be a good year when we finally acknowledge the pain of friend break-ups! neat!

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Irena BookDustMagic
I know it's only January, but I'm pretty sure We Used to be Friends will be one of my favourite reads of 2020.

This was so good, amazingly written with capability to send me on my own reminiscing journey.

Full review to come.
Rachel
Nov 28, 2019 rated it liked it
*I received an earc of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

It's been a few hours since I've finished this book and I really can't find strong feelings for it one way or another. I really love the premise of the story, the queer representation, the characters, the relationships, and the realistic feels of everything. Despite all of this I just wasn't really able to get into the book. I found myself accidentally skimming parts of it, the timeline was pretty confusing because
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Kelly
Sometimes a friendship ends with something huge. Other times, two people grow apart for a variety of reasons that aren't necessarily big bangs, but a ton of small ones that inevitably break them apart. Spalding digs into this kind of friendship breakup in a story told in a creative -- and effective -- timeline. James's narrative moves backwards from her leaving for college after the summer post-senior year, while Kat's moves forward from the first month of senior year and as readers, we see all ...more
Lea ♞ That_Bookdragon
3/5

Thank you so much to the publisher for providing me with a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest opinion and happy release day to this book!

"It's strange to think you could grow up right alongside someone and be one category of person when it turns out they're another entirely."


We Used To Be Friends follows two best friends as they grow up and ultimately... grow apart. Told through different points of view, one moving forward and the other moving backward, the reader gets to
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Samantha (WLABB)
Kat and James had been best friends since they were serendipitously paired together in Kindergarten. Both were looking forward to senior year for different reasons. Kat just wanted to get though this last year, and was anticipating all the new experiences waiting for her in college, while James was eager to be a senior and to enjoy her final year of high school with her best friend at her side. However, neither expected it would be the end of a decade long friendship.

I am telling you, right now,
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michelle (magical reads)
3.75 stars

read on my blog

**I received an ARC from Netgalley. These are my honest opinions, and in no way was I compensated for this review.**

Everything felt so easy then: friendships, boyfriends, the future,. But now my feelings are too messy. It’s like something has been rotting from within and now there’s no way to know when it started.


I was intrigued by the title; I mean, We Used to Be Friends is very on the nose, but it’s exactly what this book is about, and I loved it for that. I feel
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Karen Barber
Oct 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: netgalley
The title pulls no punches. This is all about the break-up of all break-ups, and though it’s upsetting on occasion I couldn’t help but warm to both James and Kat.
James and Kat were paired together in kindergarten and have been best friends since. Our story opens with them about to go to college, and things are no longer looking as rosy as they were.
The premise itself is quite straightforward. Two friends are developing and their relationship is shifting. They’re dealing with family issues,
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Helen
Oct 03, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: lgbtqia, arcs, bi-books, 2019
I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review – thanks so much to Netgalley for sending this to me!

I have been excited for this book ever since the announcement, because the main comp title was my favourite musical of all time, The Last Five Years. The musical follows Cathy and Jamie, a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married… and then get a divorce. What really makes the musical interesting, though, is its non-linear narrative: while Jamie tells his
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USOM
Dec 04, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
When the emphasis on heartbreak is the romantic kind, the ones that give us butterflies, and inspires songs, the importance of friendship can get left behind. We Used to Be Friends tells the story of James and Kat. Told through dual POVs and timelines, we are able to witness the ways we drift apart from each other. Stop speaking that same silent language of unspoken gestures. The ways our plans go awry so fast that it seems like an accident of a moment, when in fact it had been breaking down for ...more
Kat


Reading a lot of romances, one thing I’ve noticed is how often the romantic relationship is seen as it. I mean, obviously it being centred in a romance makes sense! I’m very happy that’s the case! But frequently it feels like that relationship is all the MCs are allowed to have in their lives. When I think there’s room enough for that not to be the case.

We Used To Be Friends isn’t a romance, but that doesn't matter because it’s an unapologetic love letter to friendships instead.

The plot is
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Trisha
Update: Long review now up at my blog Trish Talks Texts.

Interesting, different but same.

Review to come at my blog
Elle Gutierrez
Oct 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
3.75

Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two
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Elle Gutierrez
Nov 25, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two former
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Margaret
Dec 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: lgbt, contemporary, 2019
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

“It’s strange to think you can grow up right alongside someone and be one category of person when it turns out they’re another entirely.”

I’ve read more books than I can count about romantic relationships of all kinds, from new relationships to relationships that are falling apart, but before now, I’ve never read a book that’s all about the end of a friendship.

We Used To Be Friends is the story of two childhood best friends, Kat and James (a girl with a boy’s name), during
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Barbara
This one is a 3.5 for me, and I loved the cover and pitch-perfect title. While the unusual approach of having one character (Kat) tell her story from the start of senior year while the other character (James) tells her story from the summer after the end of senior year, moving backward in time, has its charms and lends a freshness to the plot, the writing is honest and the situations realistic, all designed to keep readers hooked and turning those pages eagerly as I did. After all, as much as ...more
Kimberly
Dec 06, 2019 rated it liked it
Thank you @netgalley for the review copy of this book. All opinions are my own. We Used To Be Friends comes out 1.7.20!

I LOVED another YA book by Spalding called The Summer of Jordi Perez, so I jumped are the chance to read her latest novel. The title sums up the premise of this story perfectly. It’s about two girls, Kat and James, who have been best friends since Kindergarten. Their senior year in high school changes everything. Both are making college decisions, both have broken up with
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Danielle (Life of a Literary Nerd)
"By the time you realize you're thirsty, it's too late. You're already dehydrated. Therefore, it stands to reasons that if you feel the end coming, you're already there."
This was such a bittersweet book - in the best way. I just feel really sad and filled with pain about this friendship that just falls apart over time. It definitely hooks you and pulls you into the story. You're so invested you feel the heartbrea and pain alongside Kat and James.

I loved that this story was told in two
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cat ♡
Nov 23, 2019 rated it liked it
3.5 stars. didn't hate, didn't love. I think people closer to the age group could feel more connected to the story!
Likes:
- this is YA that truly feels like YA.
- female/female relationship & bisexual rep
- the story is important to this age group - losing friends can feel like an intense break up and isn't something that is really talked about.
- all the characters felt very realistic to me!

In the middle?:
- both James and Kat were super frustrating to me - they both played a part in their
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Traci Wilmoth
Oct 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book. There are a million books written about a broken heart about a break up, but it is true that our friends can break our hearts as well. Those long-lasting friendships or just as and often more significant to our lives than romantic ones.

High school and college are about making big decisions and changing and growing, and sometimes people we love grow apart from us. We Used to Be Friends is a delightful and poignant book about the changes that happen to our relationships over
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Rachel
Dec 05, 2019 rated it really liked it
Update! I decided to go with 4 stars.
----
So many feelings and thoughts on this one. I really don't know what to rate it! I think I want to say 3.5 stars but I definitely stayed up until past midnight to finish because I couldn't put it down so maybe it's really a 4? It really did hit close to home in a lot of ways. Kat reminded me so much someone I USED to be BFFs with and I related to James' feelings on the matter a lot. I think that's why I'm conflicted on the rating. Because I just didn't
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Danielle
Oct 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing
THIS WAS SO. FREAKING. GOOD.

Oh my god, I was so excited for this book and it completely delivered??? The dual timelines was a genius move, and helped the book end on the perfect bittersweet moment.

Everything about this was amazing. Kat and James were both so real, so flawed, and yet both really good people who kept screwing up and just sort of grew out of each other. That was my favorite part, that it wasn't some big fight that broke them up. They just slowly stopped gelling with each other and
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Andria Sedig
Nov 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2019
I really enjoyed this story. The timelines were a bit tricky to figure out at first; you really have to pay attention to the chapter headings and kind of piece the story together What I loved about this book was that the girls felt like two really well developed main characters with interesting problems. I was frustrated with their lack of communication and honesty sometimes, but that felt real too and it made sense within the story. I appreciated that the author didn't just have them magically ...more
Rebecca
Dec 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: arcs-have-read
4.5 stars
Review to come nearer pub date
Gretal
Jul 26, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: yarc
3.5 stars
Natalie (Natflix&Books)
Dec 09, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: edelweiss
I have definitely been more heartbroken over lost friendships than over lost dudes. I really enjoyed this story with both a dual narration and dual timeline. Hopefully my lazy ass will write a full review soon.
Annika Klein
Jul 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: mg-ya
This book hurt my heart. It’s brilliantly constructed, in the way that made me wish I were the type of reader who uses spreadsheets or something, and I definitely reread the first chapter after I read the last chapter. The emotions on the page are SO RAW that I just wanted to stop the book and hug everyone. And the storytelling is just. Ugh. So so good.

I would say a real review will follow, but I think we both know I’d be lying.
Alexandra
Oct 05, 2019 rated it it was ok
2.5 stars

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for providing an e-ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

I seem to be one of the only early reviewers that didn’t love this. I just found the characters to act much younger than high school seniors, and I thought the dual timelines were confusing. I did enjoy the subject matter because I think friend breakups are something that’s never covered in YA lit and they do truly suck. I just didn’t love the execution of this novel.
Nkisha
Oct 28, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: netgalley
*I received an advanced copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
I have a feeling that I am going to be one of the few people that just wasn’t feeling this book. So, I will start off by saying that the premise of this book was interesting the drifting apart of a childhood friendship is something that we all have experienced and I was interested in how it would play out. However, the characters where not my cup of tea. The book focuses on two best friend’s Kat and James we
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Amy Spalding grew up in St. Louis, but now lives in the better weather of Los Angeles. She has a B.A. in Advertising & Marketing Communications from Webster University, and an M.A. in Media Studies from The New School. Amy studied longform improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

By day, she manages the digital media team for an indie film advertising agency. By later day and night, Amy
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“It’s incredible how many things can be interpreted as I miss you and want you back and also deeply want to have sex with you when the recipient is desperately seeking that meaning.” 0 likes
“And Kat’s . . . a little self-centered. I worry there’s no room for you in your friendship sometimes.” 0 likes
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