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We Used To Be Friends

Amy Spalding (Goodreads Author)

3.61 · Rating details · 283 ratings · 141 reviews

Two best friends grow up—and grow apart—in this innovative contemporary YA novel

Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable, ...more

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Kindle Edition, 384 pages

Published January 7th 2020 by Amulet

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Jan 16, 2020 Irena BookDustMagic rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I know it's only January, but I'm pretty sure We Used to be Friends will be one of my favourite reads of 2020.

This was so good, amazingly written with capability to send me on my own reminiscing journey.

Full review to come.

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Jan 14, 2019 Kate Welsh rated it it was amazing

Shelves: published-in-2020, ya, read-in-2019

SO MANY FEELINGS. This made me cry ON A BUS. Friend breakups are so terrible and we so rarely talk about them!

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Mar 01, 2019 E. marked it as to-read

Shelves: 3-1-f-ya, 4-rep-lgbt, 3-0-f, 7-t-focus-on-friendship, 3-0-standalone, 0-my-pre-read-thoughts, 0-2020-release, 3-2-f-contemporary, 8-t-school-life, 6-novel

so 2020 will be a good year when we finally acknowledge the pain of friend break-ups! neat!

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Jan 02, 2020 Lea ♞ That_Bookdragon rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: owned, arc-received, releasing-2020

3/5

Thank you so much to the publisher for providing me with a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest opinion and happy release day to this book!

"It's strange to think you could grow up right alongside someone and be one category of person when it turns out they're another entirely."

We Used To Be Friends follows two best friends as they grow up and ultimately... grow apart. Told through different points of view, one moving forward and the other moving backward, the reader gets to 3/5 ⭐️

Thank you so much to the publisher for providing me with a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest opinion and happy release day to this book!

"It's strange to think you could grow up right alongside someone and be one category of person when it turns out they're another entirely."

We Used To Be Friends follows two best friends as they grow up and ultimately... grow apart. Told through different points of view, one moving forward and the other moving backward, the reader gets to know how and why Kat and James' friendship evolved through times. Although the format was promising and interesting, I sadly found myself to be quite confused at times with each timeline. However, this dual timeline brought an interesting aspect to the book as it helped understand better both sides of what Kat and James were feeling toward each other.

Even though I was not fond of Kat's character for reasons that are still unknown to me, I grew extremely attached to James. I found that there was much more dimension to James than her friend and she was much more complex in her ideas. I really liked James because, not going to lie here, I could really relate to how she felt towards other characters in the story. Kat on the other hand seemed to be a little bit oblivious and I wanted to shake some sense into her. Maybe it's because I loved James and wanted to protect her that I didn't really like Kat. I do have to say however that Kat is bisexual so A+ for diversity. Sliding into this, I liked the way her bisexuality was portrayed because I didn't seem forced and the author made it seem really natural and genuine. Moreover, I liked that Kat was not ashamed at all about her sexuality and she was not scared to make a statement in front of her whole school so, that's maybe the only redeeming quality I found within her.

This book centers itself mostly around friendship and family relationships rather than romance, which was truly appreciable in this context. It was pitched as a book about two best friends growing apart and this is exactly what it delivered. Of course there was relationsips involved in the plot but they were minor compared to the central plot of the book itself even though they played a part in making the story move forward. The parents of the protagonists also had their own flaws and qualities, making them seem more genuine and their presence really brought something to the plot as well. The family dynamics is complex, but relatable. Not everything was portreayed as easy or wonderful with the cast of characters and I enjoyed this aspect the most.

I think the majority of us has been through one or more friendship breakups and it is always sad to see but in real life and in written form, especially when it involves best friends who used to say everything to each other until they don't even want to see one another anymore. This made for a painful but realistic story. Using both humor and sadness, this book is definitely one to add to your TBRs. It has the best portrayal of complex friendship I have read in a while.

My Bookstagram ...more

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Nov 28, 2019 Rachel rated it liked it

Shelves: contemporary-fiction, arcs

*I received an earc of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

It's been a few hours since I've finished this book and I really can't find strong feelings for it one way or another. I really love the premise of the story, the queer representation, the characters, the relationships, and the realistic feels of everything. Despite all of this I just wasn't really able to get into the book. I found myself accidentally skimming parts of it, the timeline was pretty confusing because ...more

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Dec 01, 2019 Kelly added it

Shelves: ya-fiction, read-in-2019

Sometimes a friendship ends with something huge. Other times, two people grow apart for a variety of reasons that aren't necessarily big bangs, but a ton of small ones that inevitably break them apart. Spalding digs into this kind of friendship breakup in a story told in a creative -- and effective -- timeline. James's narrative moves backwards from her leaving for college after the summer post-senior year, while Kat's moves forward from the first month of senior year and as readers, we see all Sometimes a friendship ends with something huge. Other times, two people grow apart for a variety of reasons that aren't necessarily big bangs, but a ton of small ones that inevitably break them apart. Spalding digs into this kind of friendship breakup in a story told in a creative -- and effective -- timeline. James's narrative moves backwards from her leaving for college after the summer post-senior year, while Kat's moves forward from the first month of senior year and as readers, we see all of the things that add up as they come, but we're left moving forward in the story because we're looking for that one thing. But there is no single thing. It's a lot of things, on both sides.

Kat discovers she's bisexual, while James's parents are breaking up because her mom has found a new partner, and those are two big revelations in the story, connected because of how they define each of the girls to themselves and one another. Kat becomes close with her girlfriend, whiles James finds herself needing to spend more time better understanding herself and what it is she really wants in her life.

Both girls are well-rounded, though I found James a bit more compelling. It's interesting to read reviews calling them unlikable, as I don't think it's true in either case. Is unlikable the word people use for complex now? Both of these girls are high school seniors and have a lot going on, and to me, they read like high school seniors who have a lot going on. None of us are particularly amazing humans at that point in our lives because there's so much going on. Both girls are equally deserving of empathy though for this, as well as the slow breakup of their long-time friendship.

As always, Spalding develops some great parents in the story, which I always appreciate.

This book has humor, heart, and heartbreak, and I think it's one a lot of readers will relate to. I've yet to read it as of this review, but I think it'll be awesome to pair this book with When You Were Everything by Ashley Woodfolk, another friendship breakup story. ...more

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Jan 15, 2020 Marie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: arcs, 2020-releases

Real rating: 4,5 stars.
We Used To Be Friends was such a brilliant read and a necessary one, too. There are too few books about friendships and friendship break-ups and how painful that can be, too, and this book NAILED IT. I loved the dual POV and the originality of going back and forth in James and Kat's relationship. Bittersweet and emotional, this is such a good read I'm definitely going to recommend.

Full review coming soon on the blog!

Thank you to Amulet Books UK / Abrams & Chronicle ...more

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Nov 23, 2019 Samantha (WLABB) rated it really liked it

Shelves: lgbtqia, 2020, ya, romance, 2019diversereads, arcs, contemporary

Kat and James had been best friends since they were serendipitously paired together in Kindergarten. Both were looking forward to senior year for different reasons. Kat just wanted to get though this last year, and was anticipating all the new experiences waiting for her in college, while James was eager to be a senior and to enjoy her final year of high school with her best friend at her side. However, neither expected it would be the end of a decade long friendship.

I am telling you, right now, Kat and James had been best friends since they were serendipitously paired together in Kindergarten. Both were looking forward to senior year for different reasons. Kat just wanted to get though this last year, and was anticipating all the new experiences waiting for her in college, while James was eager to be a senior and to enjoy her final year of high school with her best friend at her side. However, neither expected it would be the end of a decade long friendship.

I am telling you, right now, I had a headache, when I finished this book, due to all the crying I did. Romantic breakups are painful, but we rarely acknowledge how traumatic a friend breakup can be. My tears are evidence, that Spalding did a fantastic job depicting the collapse of this storied friendship. So, considered yourself warned.

Spalding told this story from both Kat and James' point of view, but she did so, from opposite ends of the timeline. James' story began at the end, with her leaving town for college, and Kat's started from the beginning of the school year. I found the dual timeline to be quite successful and meaningful for me. James' narrative had more insight, since she could reflect on the past, while Kat's had more unknown's. Since there was overlap, I also experienced many things in multiple ways, and we all know, perspective is everything. It was interesting the way their life situations were flipped, too. Kat's year started with heartbreak, and ended with everything coming up roses, while it was the opposite for James.

James' point of the view definitely elicited more tears from me. Her life sort of imploded, and everything she believed in seemed like a lie. There were some positive things that came out of what happened, and Spalding left me hopeful for other things, but James lost a lot, and it broke my heart watching her slow retreat from everyone and her self-imposed isolation.

Kat's side of the story made me smile a whole lot. Her family was still in the process of healing following her mother's death, and they were slowly regrouping. Not only was Kat's home life improving, but she fell in love and discovered a lot about herself, included that she was bisexual. The friend breakup seemed to leave more of a mark on Kat, as well, and she tried to make some changes in order to be a better person.

This was a story that resonated with me, because I have experienced those painful friend breakups, and I believe many others will be able to relate to Kat and James' story as well.

Overall: A sensitive and emotional tale of loss, love, healing, and self discovery.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS ...more

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Oct 06, 2019 michelle (magical reads) rated it really liked it

Shelves: arcs, reviews, released-in-2020, 2019

3.75 stars

read on my blog

**I received an ARC from Netgalley. These are my honest opinions, and in no way was I compensated for this review.**

Everything felt so easy then: friendships, boyfriends, the future,. But now my feelings are too messy. It’s like something has been rotting from within and now there’s no way to know when it started.

I was intrigued by the title; I mean, We Used to Be Friends is very on the nose, but it’s exactly what this book is about, and I loved it for that. I feel ...more

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Jan 02, 2020 Danielle (Life of a Literary Nerd) rated it really liked it

Shelves: contemporary, standalones, cover-envy, lgbtq

"By the time you realize you're thirsty, it's too late. You're already dehydrated. Therefore, it stands to reasons that if you feel the end coming, you're already there."
This was such a bittersweet book - in the best way. I just feel really sad and filled with pain about this friendship that just falls apart over time. It definitely hooks you and pulls you into the story. You're so invested you feel the heartbrea and pain alongside Kat and James.

I loved that this story was told in two ...more

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Jan 03, 2020 Lacey rated it liked it

Shelves: 2020s-publication, netgalley, arcs, friends-to-lovers, contemporary, fiction, young-adult, romance, three-stars, read-in-2020

Thank you to Amy Spalding, Amulet Books & NetGalley for a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

I'll be completely honest and say that the cover was the exact reason I picked this book. I like LGBT and best friend battles in young adult novels, but the cover is what really got me. The curiosity of what makes these two best friends separate is what pulled me in through the beauty of the front of the book.

I thoughtWe Used to Be Friends was very realistic. I think that Amy Thank you to Amy Spalding, Amulet Books & NetGalley for a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

I'll be completely honest and say that the cover was the exact reason I picked this book. I like LGBT and best friend battles in young adult novels, but the cover is what really got me. The curiosity of what makes these two best friends separate is what pulled me in through the beauty of the front of the book.

I thought We Used to Be Friends was very realistic. I think that Amy Spalding did a great job taking the reader into the background to watch everything unfold right along the characters. The plot was very refreshing as it was something I haven't really read before. I really do believe that this was an honest story and you really got to see the truth behind friends growing apart, no matter how long they've been friends for. It's a very real thing.

The only reason why I had a little trouble with this book was the timeline and the characters. The timeline is shown at the beginning of each chapter. Make sure to pay attention to this, very closely, or you will be confused. I had to go back a few times to remind myself if I was before or after "senior year" and how long it had been month-wise. James' story is told from the end and Kat's is told from the beginning. It was kind of hard to follow along.

With the characters, I feel like it was a little complicated because I became frustrated with some of them. I really enjoyed the dads in this book, but the main characters were tough on me. I had a really hard time with Kat and James. They were pretty interested in making sure each other knew that they had issues with the friendships but never really took the blame on themselves. I understand that they're young and that's how life works when you're young, but I feel as though I couldn't see the growth behind them because of that.

Lastly, I think that the ending was a little too much... left for interpretation? The ending definitely is up to the reader. When reading, I wish it had more of a direct ending instead of an ambiguous one where we have to think and decide what it is.

Overall, I think that if I were a couple years younger, I would've liked this book more. It's definitely a high school (or fresh-out of) story. It's definitely a book that I would read again and recommend to those with children in high school or high school students. ...more

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Oct 04, 2019 Karen Barber rated it really liked it

Shelves: netgalley

The title pulls no punches. This is all about the break-up of all break-ups, and though it’s upsetting on occasion I couldn’t help but warm to both James and Kat.
James and Kat were paired together in kindergarten and have been best friends since. Our story opens with them about to go to college, and things are no longer looking as rosy as they were.
The premise itself is quite straightforward. Two friends are developing and their relationship is shifting. They’re dealing with family issues, ...more

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Oct 03, 2019 Helen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: arcs, lgbtqia, bi-books, 2019

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review – thanks so much to Netgalley for sending this to me!

I have been excited for this book ever since the announcement, because the main comp title was my favourite musical of all time, The Last Five Years. The musical follows Cathy and Jamie, a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married… and then get a divorce. What really makes the musical interesting, though, is its non-linear narrative: while Jamie tells his I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review – thanks so much to Netgalley for sending this to me!

I have been excited for this book ever since the announcement, because the main comp title was my favourite musical of all time, The Last Five Years. The musical follows Cathy and Jamie, a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married… and then get a divorce. What really makes the musical interesting, though, is its non-linear narrative: while Jamie tells his side of the story from beginning to end, Cathy tells it from end to beginning. We alternate between the two perspectives, watching them fall in and out of love at the same time, and it’s heartbreaking. When I heard that someone was writing that, but with best friends, I knew I had to get my hands on it. Best friend break-ups are equally as sad and painful as romantic ones, and yet they aren’t viewed in the same way. People don’t write songs about losing touch with a friend, or realising you don’t click with someone any more – but they should. This book is evidence of why.

We Used To Be Friends follows Kat and James (cute) who have been BFFs since childhood. It takes place during their senior year when everything is changing – James’ family is falling apart, she’s broken up with her boyfriend and is frustrated that her whole life is expected to revolve around college admissions, whereas Kat is fighting this constant desire for perfection alongside an all-consuming new relationship, realisations about her sexuality and the fact that her father, a widower, has started finally looking for love.
I loved this story for the same reason I love the musical: both of the characters are culpable, and they both have aspects of themselves that were dislikeable. James is closed-off, judgemental and kind of self-righteous, and she has a jealous streak; Kat is ditzy, self-absorbed and a godawful listener, as well as being super changeable, finding new hobbies and causes to care about at the drop of a hat. At the same time, I cared for them both very deeply by the end – although I had more of a soft spot for Kat. She could be irritating and melodramatic, but I thought James was pretty cruel to her, gossiping behind her back and griping about all of her little mannerisms in a way that made it harder to sympathise with James’ point of view. I wonder if this was an intentional choice, since in the original musical Jamie is arguably a less sympathetic character than Cathy (I love him, but dude makes some awful decisions).

Ultimately I think the reason this story hit me is that it was so real. It really hit the nail on the head with the way it showed that best friends can know each other so well that the knowing becomes a negative thing, causing you to see one another in the worst light. James in particular becomes so focused on Kat’s shortcomings that it’s all she can see, whereas Kat is so wrapped up in her own drama that she struggles to recognise her own role in neglecting their friendship. The whole thing is so honest and poignant that when I finished the book I kind of had to sit there and just marinate in my own sadness for a while, which was weirdly cathartic.

I think this is a book I’m going to have to reread at some point, because while I picked it up specifically for the non-linear narrative it was pretty hard to get my head around what was going on a lot of the time, which I think was the case with the musical too – I had to watch and listen several times before I fully understood everything that happened. However, I do have to mention that the formatting of the ARC really didn’t help matters – I won’t hold this against the book itself because obviously that’ll be fixed before the release, but honestly it was so bad that it made this potentially confusing book an absolute nightmare to read. It was laid out
like this, so that some sentences had random line-breaks, and
sometimes the dialogue of two characters would be on the same
line, so that it took several attempts to figure out who was actually speaking. Oh yeah, and the header of the title randomly appeared in the middle of several pages so you’d be reading and it would randomly say WE USED TO BE FRIENDS in the middle of a paragraph, which at first I thought was some weird subliminal message thing but I later figured out was just a formatting issue. Obviously ARCs are not final, but I feel like there should be some attempts made to at least make them readable, because I did struggle at times. I’m excited to pick up a finished copy and see whether I can keep everything straight in my head the second time around.

My ultimate takeaway from this book is that it was the sad, validating, often-times frustrating read I needed in my life, and I really appreciated it. Some people may not be a fan of this, because it’s super bittersweet, the characters are both pretty dislikeable in their own ways and it doesn’t have a happy ending – but that’s kind of the point. If James and Kat were perfect characters, they would have stayed friends. If it had a happy ending, that would have been a disservice to the source material (though I would have forgiven it, because I wanted SO BADLY for them to make friends again). At the end of the day, We Used To Be Friends was a really awesome book and I’m so happy I had the chance to read it. ...more

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Jan 17, 2020 Maria rated it it was ok

2/5 stars:

I think 2020 should be the year I realize YA contemporary is just not for me. There are VERY few contemporaries I end up loving and this definitely wasn't one of them. In fact, it is one of contemporaries I've enjoyed the least in recent times.

Both in writing and plot I don't think this book does anything special or remarkable.

The story moves between the two main characters' POVs -Kat and James- and although their personalities and likes/dislikes are pretty different their tones and ...more

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Jan 13, 2020 PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps rated it really liked it

3.5 STARS

Former best friends Kat and James (a girl) tell the story of how their friendship fell apart. Kat’s narration is from past to present, James’s from present to past. The girls handle hardship differently. Introverted James retreats, extroverted Kat shares. Kat sees James as secretive, James sees Kat as attention seeking.

Although I’m more like James than Kat, I found James the less sympathetic friend. She blames Kat for not asking about Big Things like her parents’ divorce and college ...more

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Dec 04, 2019 USOM rated it really liked it · review of another edition

When the emphasis on heartbreak is the romantic kind, the ones that give us butterflies, and inspires songs, the importance of friendship can get left behind. We Used to Be Friends tells the story of James and Kat. Told through dual POVs and timelines, we are able to witness the ways we drift apart from each other. Stop speaking that same silent language of unspoken gestures. The ways our plans go awry so fast that it seems like an accident of a moment, when in fact it had been breaking down for ...more

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Oct 02, 2019 Kat rated it really liked it

Shelves: gave-me-all-the-feels-ugh-how-rude, glorious, young-adult-or-new-adult, queer, contemporary, friendship-is-magic, cover-love, favourite-characters, made-me-cry

Reading a lot of romances, one thing I’ve noticed is how often the romantic relationship is seen as it. I mean, obviously it being centred in a romance makes sense! I’m very happy that’s the case! But frequently it feels like that relationship is all the MCs are allowed to have in their lives. When I think there’s room enough for that not to be the case.

We Used To Be Friends isn’t a romance, but that doesn't matter because it’s an unapologetic love letter to friendships instead.

The plot is ...more

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Dec 30, 2019 Trisha rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: conflict, contemporary, romance, dual-narrators, family, friendship, grief-loss, lgbt, kindle, review

Update: Long review now up at my blog Trish Talks Texts.

Interesting, different but same.

Review to come at my blog

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Oct 30, 2019 Elle Gutierrez rated it really liked it

3.75

Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two 3.75

Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two former best friends, Kat and James. We follow their respective sides during their senior year to try and discover what exactly went wrong in this friendship. The story is told through alternating points of view. Kat starts at the beginning of senior year, and moves forward, while James starts at the end of senior year and moves backward.

I will admit it was hard at times to keep track of where we were in relation to the other person, but that was mostly my fault. My brain struggles a lot lol.

I so desperately wanted to find the *one* thing that broke this friendship, but it wasn’t like that. Rather, it was a series of events that ultimately broke the camel's back.

Although the ending was left kind of vague, it still left a lasting hurt in my chest. In my opinion, it was a great move to have James’ POV moving backward because I think it made a much stronger impression at the end than if we had ended with Kat’s POV of the beginning of senior year.

Sure Kat’s friendship was falling apart, but she still got to have some joy during her senior year. She found a person who she really clicks with and loves, got to go to parties and be popular, and be prom royalty!

While James was excited about senior year at the beginning. She was so hopeful, and very much looking forward to the last year of highschool with her best friend. It touched me more because I know how everything falls apart for her.

If you are looking for fast paced adventure, this is not the book for you. This is a book about a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime. This is a book that tries to tell you that as much as we want life to stay just the way it is in this exact moment, it’s just not possible. Change is inevitable, and it sucks, it hurts, it hurts a lot… and that’s okay.

You can find this book on shelves January 7, 2020. ...more

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Dec 05, 2019 Rachel rated it really liked it

Shelves: from-pub-for-review, read-in-2019

Update! I decided to go with 4 stars.
----
So many feelings and thoughts on this one. I really don't know what to rate it! I think I want to say 3.5 stars but I definitely stayed up until past midnight to finish because I couldn't put it down so maybe it's really a 4? It really did hit close to home in a lot of ways. Kat reminded me so much someone I USED to be BFFs with and I related to James' feelings on the matter a lot. I think that's why I'm conflicted on the rating. Because I just didn't ...more

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Jan 07, 2020 Alexis Nalley rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: reviews

“I had no idea how you could stand right next to someone and yet have no clue how to get back to them. Though I guess that now it’s more that I’m standing behind someone.”

This book. This book, you guys. We Used to be Friends follows two girls, James and Kat as their friendship dissolves. It’s no one’s fault and no one person is totally to blame, just something that sometimes happens- you grow up and you grow apart. This book is told in alternating points of view. James’ part of the story is told “I had no idea how you could stand right next to someone and yet have no clue how to get back to them. Though I guess that now it’s more that I’m standing behind someone.”

This book. This book, you guys. We Used to be Friends follows two girls, James and Kat as their friendship dissolves. It’s no one’s fault and no one person is totally to blame, just something that sometimes happens- you grow up and you grow apart. This book is told in alternating points of view. James’ part of the story is told backward, reflecting over her senior year of high school while preparing to leave for college and Kat’s is told forward, following her through her exciting senior year.

If you’ve gone through a friend breakup I highly recommend reading this book. So many times you read about heartbreak and it’s linked to a romantic relationship and so while you can somewhat relate, you can feel like it doesn’t apply to you. But the first thing James does is state that her biggest heartbreak came from her friendship with Kat falling through. It’s important to note that while you might identify with one character or another, neither is blamed in this book. As you get to know the characters through their POVs you see that neither is a bad person, neither did something unforgivable for their friendship. You can absolutely see where each of them is coming from.
This book broke my heart. I think this is a very important book that many, teens and adults alike, will relate to. There is so many books focused on romantic love and heartbreak, but platonic relationships are just as important. And as Amy Spalding shows here, they are just as heart breaking.

Now, I'm going to get a bit emotional. I spent this entire book kind of choked up. I related SO hard with James in this book- feeling like your best friend is moving on to bigger and better things and leaving you behind is an extremely terrible feeling. Knowing that you aren't really their best friend anymore and wanting so badly to hang on to something you know is already gone is even worse. This book made me so sad, you guys. But it also made me feel seen in a real emotional way that honestly, I wasn't prepared to deal with. I gave this book five stars for emotional impact alone. So if you ever feel like you need some catharsis about a friendship being over, definitely pick this up.
...more

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Nov 25, 2019 Elle Gutierrez rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two former Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two former best friends, Kat and James. We follow their respective sides during their senior year to try and discover what exactly went wrong in this friendship. The story is told through alternating points of view. Kat starts at the beginning of senior year, and moves forward, while James starts at the end of senior year and moves backward.

I will admit it was hard at times to keep track of where we were in relation to the other person, but that was mostly my fault. My brain struggles a lot lol.

I so desperately wanted to find the *one* thing that broke this friendship, but it wasn’t like that. Rather, it was a series of events that ultimately broke the camel's back.

Although the ending was left kind of vague, it still left a lasting hurt in my chest. In my opinion, it was a great move to have James’ POV moving backward because I think it made a much stronger impression at the end than if we had ended with Kat’s POV of the beginning of senior year.

Sure Kat’s friendship was falling apart, but she still got to have some joy during her senior year. She found a person who she really clicks with and loves, got to go to parties and be popular, and be prom royalty!

While James was excited about senior year at the beginning. She was so hopeful, and very much looking forward to the last year of highschool with her best friend. It touched me more because I know how everything falls apart for her.

If you are looking for fast paced adventure, this is not the book for you. This is a book about a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime. This is a book that tries to tell you that as much as we want life to stay just the way it is in this exact moment, it’s just not possible. Change is inevitable, and it sucks, it hurts, it hurts a lot… and that’s okay.

You can find this book on shelves January 7, 2020. ...more

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Dec 24, 2019 Margaret rated it really liked it

Shelves: lgbt, contemporary, 2019

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

“It’s strange to think you can grow up right alongside someone and be one category of person when it turns out they’re another entirely.”

I’ve read more books than I can count about romantic relationships of all kinds, from new relationships to relationships that are falling apart, but before now, I’ve never read a book that’s all about the end of a friendship.

We Used To Be Friends is the story of two childhood best friends, Kat and James (a girl with a boy’s name), during ...more

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Dec 13, 2019 Barbara rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: alcohol, community, lgbtq, empowerment, jobs, resilience, strong-women, music, school, animals

This one is a 3.5 for me, and I loved the cover and pitch-perfect title. While the unusual approach of having one character (Kat) tell her story from the start of senior year while the other character (James) tells her story from the summer after the end of senior year, moving backward in time, has its charms and lends a freshness to the plot, the writing is honest and the situations realistic, all designed to keep readers hooked and turning those pages eagerly as I did. After all, as much as This one is a 3.5 for me, and I loved the cover and pitch-perfect title. While the unusual approach of having one character (Kat) tell her story from the start of senior year while the other character (James) tells her story from the summer after the end of senior year, moving backward in time, has its charms and lends a freshness to the plot, the writing is honest and the situations realistic, all designed to keep readers hooked and turning those pages eagerly as I did. After all, as much as romantic breakups hurt, leaving us to ponder what went wrong and how two individuals so in love could grow apart, so do friend break-ups. Arguably, when two teen girls who used to be friends are no longer friends, it's even more painful than the romantic breakups. As I read this story, I felt sad that James simply couldn't tell Kat what had happened to her parents' marriage and how that affected her future plans and certainly about her boyfriend, Logan. The more she tried to hide her feelings and this secret, the more the distance between James and Kat grew and the more James began to resent her friend. Meanwhile, after a very public breakup with her own boyfriend, Matty, falls for Quinn and begins spending time with her. Although she tries to include James, James isn't fond of Quinn and resists Kat's attempts. This is all described in detail and as though the author herself must have gone through similar experiences. There are so many moments when a simple conversation might have cleared the air, but readers will also realize that some things can't be fixed and that yes, even the closest of friends can end up growing in very different directions. The scene in which Kat and James finally confront one another about their feelings was particularly tense and honest. While some might argue that both girls are a bit hard to take, I could feel Kat's confusion when she realizes that they really aren't friends anymore. This book might help other teens accept that some friendships aren't forever. One of its strengths is how Kat and James have healthy sex lives with their partners, not described in detail, but matter of factly, as though this is just a part of growing up. ...more

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Jan 14, 2020 grieshaber.reads rated it it was amazing

I read A LOT of YA, particularly books that focus on friendship, and I have never read a book quite like this one. The story focuses on two girls - James (yes, she knows it’s a boy’s name) and Kat. The girls have been best friends since Kindergarten. Now it’s their senior year and the drift is beginning. Will their friendship survive high school? If you look at the title again, you can probably figure out the answer to that question.

In many ways, We Used to be Friends is typical Contemporary YA ...more

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Dec 06, 2019 Kimberly rated it liked it

Shelves: lgbt, netgalley, young-adult

Thank you @netgalley for the review copy of this book. All opinions are my own. We Used To Be Friends comes out 1.7.20!

I LOVED another YA book by Spalding called The Summer of Jordi Perez, so I jumped are the chance to read her latest novel. The title sums up the premise of this story perfectly. It’s about two girls, Kat and James, who have been best friends since Kindergarten. Their senior year in high school changes everything. Both are making college decisions, both have broken up with Thank you @netgalley for the review copy of this book. All opinions are my own. We Used To Be Friends comes out 1.7.20!

I LOVED another YA book by Spalding called The Summer of Jordi Perez, so I jumped are the chance to read her latest novel. The title sums up the premise of this story perfectly. It’s about two girls, Kat and James, who have been best friends since Kindergarten. Their senior year in high school changes everything. Both are making college decisions, both have broken up with recent boyfriends and both are dealing with some heavy, family drama. Kat’s mom passed away and she’s missing her more especially as her dad starts to date again. James is shocked when her parents announce they are divorcing. It definitely effects her outlook on life. These changes slowly cause a rift between the two friends that intensifies as the story unfolds.

This is such a relatable and real book. Friendship breakups are rough, but we’ve all been through them at some point in our life, especially as young adults. At that age, you are going through so many personal changes as you find yourself that it’s normal to discover new relationships along the way. At the time though, it’s frustrating and confusing as your sort through those feelings. Add in new romantic relationships and that always puts a strain on long friendships, especially when you normally spend every waking minute together. There was definitely a lot of depth to these characters and at times it was heartbreaking to watch because you knew what the ultimate outcome was going to be. I loved that it included a LGBT couple and really agreed with the topic brought up about how kids are so excited to become seniors, yet once they get there, the entire year is focused on what they can do to boost their college applications. I also really adored the dads in this book!!

Pay attention to the date at the beginning of each chapter! The story switches perspectives and many times is not told in chronological order so the reader can get a tad confused for a moment if you skip that small tidbit. ...more

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Jan 17, 2020 ♛ Cameron ♛ rated it liked it · review of another edition

I am really disappointed that I did not love this book, but it just felt so young. For a YA, this was very YA. The main characters are meant to be seniors but they sound like eighth graders. It makes all of the heavy content seem really weak. I was excited to read about friend breakups, but it was executed so poorly.

James and Kat start out inseparable, but by graduation they are no longer friends. James plans to head off to college, while Kat thinks about life with her new girlfriend in a ...more

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Nov 23, 2019 cat ♡ rated it liked it

3.5 stars. didn't hate, didn't love. I think people closer to the age group could feel more connected to the story!
Likes:
- this is YA that truly feels like YA.
- female/female relationship & bisexual rep
- the story is important to this age group - losing friends can feel like an intense break up and isn't something that is really talked about.
- all the characters felt very realistic to me!

In the middle?:
- both James and Kat were super frustrating to me - they both played a part in their ...more

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Oct 04, 2019 Traci Wilmoth rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I loved this book. There are a million books written about a broken heart about a break up, but it is true that our friends can break our hearts as well. Those long-lasting friendships or just as and often more significant to our lives than romantic ones.

High school and college are about making big decisions and changing and growing, and sometimes people we love grow apart from us. We Used to Be Friends is a delightful and poignant book about the changes that happen to our relationships over ...more

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Oct 02, 2019 Danielle rated it it was amazing

THIS WAS SO. FREAKING. GOOD.

Oh my god, I was so excited for this book and it completely delivered??? The dual timelines was a genius move, and helped the book end on the perfect bittersweet moment.

Everything about this was amazing. Kat and James were both so real, so flawed, and yet both really good people who kept screwing up and just sort of grew out of each other. That was my favorite part, that it wasn't some big fight that broke them up. They just slowly stopped gelling with each other and ...more

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About Amy Spalding

Amy Spalding

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Amy Spalding grew up in St. Louis, but now lives in the better weather of Los Angeles. She has a B.A. in Advertising & Marketing Communications from Webster University, and an M.A. in Media Studies from The New School. Amy studied longform improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

By day, she manages the digital media team for an indie film advertising agency. By later day and night, Amy ...more