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Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan: Do It Right and Be Polite!

Amy Chavez,

Jun Hazuki (illustrator)

4.12 · Rating details · 51 ratings · 11 reviews

This guide to common courtesy, acceptable behavior, and manners is essential for any visitor to Japan. Japanese are unfailingly polite and will never tell you if you've crossed the line. But by knowing how to act in every situation you'll gain the respect of your hosts and in the end get even better service and enjoyment during your travels. Covered here are all the essent ...more

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Paperback, 144 pages

Published July 5th 2018 by Stone Bridge Press (first published June 19th 2018)

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· 51 ratings · 11 reviews

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Jan 28, 2020 Eleanor rated it really liked it

Shelves: japan, non-fiction, by-people-i-know-or-met

A great little book of manners to mind in Japan. Having lived in Japan as long as I have, I knew almost all of them or have picked them up over time. Even so, it was good to read and a good reminder.

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May 28, 2019 Renae Lucas-Hall rated it it was amazing

I’ve been to Japan many times, I speak Japanese, and I lived in Tokyo for several years but I still thoroughly enjoyed this guidebook. Yes, it’s packed full of great tips and sound advice but it was also so much fun to read. There are gorgeous illustrations on the cover and throughout the book by the very talented Jun Hazuki and I loved the way the cute kimono-clad “Amy Cat”, holding the pointer, was an indicator for an especially important tip or insight. I also liked the fact each page was lai I’ve been to Japan many times, I speak Japanese, and I lived in Tokyo for several years but I still thoroughly enjoyed this guidebook. Yes, it’s packed full of great tips and sound advice but it was also so much fun to read. There are gorgeous illustrations on the cover and throughout the book by the very talented Jun Hazuki and I loved the way the cute kimono-clad “Amy Cat”, holding the pointer, was an indicator for an especially important tip or insight. I also liked the fact each page was laid out in a clear and concise way so I never felt bogged down with information, making this guidebook so easy to follow and read in just a few hours.

This guidebook is perfect for tourists, business people and anyone living in Japan. Amy Chavez explains in the introduction how she conducted surveys with both Japanese and Western people and you can tell she’s done lots of research to make sure she’s covered everything you need to know to make a good impression in Japan, so it’s more than likely you’re going to learn something new even if you’ve lived in Japan for many years.

This guidebook is so in-depth and detailed you’re never going to commit a faux pas and if you already know some of the golden rules you’re going to smile from ear to ear when you read some of the situations that could really embarrass a Westerner in Japan, so this book makes for delightful reading. I really laughed imagining the following scene because I knew it would be considered incredibly rude in Japan: “If you’re giving your (business) card to several people, don’t deal out your cards or slide them down the table. This is not a time to show your Bridge skills. Get up and walk over to each person sitting at the other end of the table.” (pg. 135)

The beauty of this book is in the details. It’s not just pointing out obvious rules of politeness and providing insight into cultural know-how. It tells you how to order hot or cold sake just the way you like it, how much money you should offer as a gift at a wedding or a funeral, the correct way to tie your yukata in a Japanese ryokan inn, where you should put your empty drink cans in a hotel room (and it’s not inside the bin!), whether you’re allowed to use selfie sticks in public areas, the type of clothes you should and shouldn’t wear when you’re in Japan, what sort of conversation topics are appropriate when you’re meeting Japanese friends or business colleagues, how to exit a room in a business meeting, what side you should present your business card, and so much more.

Even if you’ve lived in Japan, you’re bound to learn a thing or two from this book. I didn’t know there was a silent carriage on the Shinkansen bullet train that was so quiet it had “no announcements”, but knowing this now means I’ll never miss my stop if I happen to be sitting in this quiet carriage in the future.

The section on buying gifts and how much you should spend is well-worth reading. Chavez explained that when you give money at weddings there should be an odd number of bills since odd numbers are considered lucky. It's tips like this you really need to know. Some of the author’s suggestions are also very considerate: “Don’t give plants in a pot to sick people in hospital as their illness may “take root.”” (pg. 45).

There are also several very amusing but highly educational anecdotes scattered throughout the book that share with the reader some of the author’s personal experiences. These are based on the times when Chavez made a mistake but she learned a lot in the process. These lessons in Japanese life were so much fun to read but more importantly the reader learns not to do it as well. I particularly enjoyed reading about the time she jumped in a taxi with a wet umbrella and the driver got out, came around to where she was sitting, shook the umbrella outside the taxi, returned it to her, and then returned to the driver’s seat to drive her to her destination, without a hint of malice!

Chavez clearly but kindly gives advice and points out the mistakes you can avoid but she also lets the reader know it’s okay to slip up sometimes in Japan so you don’t feel any pressure or nervousness about all these rules. Reading this book will make it easier for anyone to leave an excellent impression on the Japanese people. In business, this book could also make a major difference on whether you successfully close that all important deal, and if you’re planning on making friends in Japan or staying with a host family this guidebook will help you develop lifelong and meaningful relationships. ...more

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Aug 27, 2018 Luke rated it it was amazing

A quick review for a quick read: it's useful, charming, and you won't go wrong if you get it.

Slightly longer: I've been to Japan a couple of times now and so am probably not the intended audience for this book. I had picked up a lot of what's described within by osmosis - I travelled there initially as a performer in a taiko group, after all - but gee, it would've been great to have this as a fast guide to Not Sucking.

What I did notice from travelling through Japan is that the unspoken routine A quick review for a quick read: it's useful, charming, and you won't go wrong if you get it.

Slightly longer: I've been to Japan a couple of times now and so am probably not the intended audience for this book. I had picked up a lot of what's described within by osmosis - I travelled there initially as a performer in a taiko group, after all - but gee, it would've been great to have this as a fast guide to Not Sucking.

What I did notice from travelling through Japan is that the unspoken routines of the culture will rub off on the visitor. Yes, I'll always be an enormous gaijin. But I'll also always be a visitor, and so it's really up to me to minimise myself in the place, to step back and figure out how best I can fit in, rather than expecting the culture to stretch to accommodate me. A lot of this is accomplished by being quieter than you would be, and being extra mindful of the space you inhabit: something that the book certainly suggests.

What's contained within the slender volume is a crash-course in politeness. Really, that's all it is. Think of it as a way of being slightly more graceful - sometimes archaically so - in life. You could apply a lot of the rules here to how you comport yourself in your home town and become more charming there, so it's a sure thing that you'll improve your reception in Japan if you take even a handful of these suggestions to heart.

There's stuff you won't necessarily use unless you're there for business meetings, but I found myself nodding in agreement a lot of the time: this is really a little guide to travelling more elegantly through a land where aesthetics and respect are still pretty important parts of society.

You likely won't be corrected if you miss any of the rules in here: Japan doesn't work like that. I found that I wasn't expected to follow rules, as an outsider, but it was greatly appreciated when I tried to, however hamfistedly. (The bow is a lot more difficult than you'd imagine, if you've not tried it.) But if you've been before, you might be mortified at some of the faux pas you've made, however unintentional.

Chavez's writing is clear, and explains (mostly) why certain routines have stuck around. Hazuki's illustrations are charming, and the book seems to be a nifty passion project. This guide helps minimise yourself, and it does so with good humour. Give it a read, baka gaijin!

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Aug 30, 2018 Donna rated it it was amazing

I absolutely love this book and plan to buy it! It will make a great companion to my college communications course as it deals with acceptable verbal and nonverbal communication in Japan. The author explores every possible aspect of acceptable customs, language, dress, behavior, business practices, table manners and more! It is the perfect guide for a businessman or tourist visiting Japan and wanting to do “the right thing “ according to Japanese standards. A welcome addition for many college le ...more

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Jun 05, 2019 Jolynn rated it it was amazing

Fun quick read about trying to do the right/polite thing in Japan - no loud blowing of the nose in public, lots of age/slipper changes, gift-giving traditions, eating and bath etiquette. Great to peruse before a trip. Helpful traveler info from a cultural perspective.

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Dec 23, 2018 Leonard Davis rated it really liked it

I came across this book after reading an article by Amy Chavez from The Japan Times. I thought that this book was easy to read and a good introduction to many of the cultural differences between Japan and the West. This might be a good resource for us next year when we move.

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Jun 04, 2019 Austen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Helpful cultural info....

Even if you can't speak the language, tips on how to be polite and welcome in Japan. Worth a read. ...more

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Dec 27, 2018 Katie rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2018

Incredibly helpful and interesting!

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Sep 27, 2018 Gemma rated it it was amazing

An excellent and succinct book on the intricacies of Japanese manners. Highly recommend to anyone travelling to Japan.

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Aug 25, 2020 Lengua Sucinta rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Reseña completa en el blog: Lengua Sucinta

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Aug 05, 2018 Irena P. rated it it was amazing

Cute little book with summary of I'd say the most important customs and habits of Japanese people. Follow it and you will survive and enjoy stay in Japan even more. ...more

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