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Consent on Campus: A Manifesto
A 2015 survey of twenty-seven elite colleges found that twenty-three percent of respondents reported personal experiences of sexual misconduct on their campuses. That figure has not changed since the 1980s, when people first began collecting data on sexual violence. What has changed is the level of attention that the American public is paying to these statistics. Reports of sexual abuse repeatedly make headlines, and universities are scrambling to address the crisis.
Their current strategy, Donna Freitas argues, is wholly inadequate. Universities must take a radically different approach to educating their campus communities about sexual assault and consent. Consent education is often a one-time affair, devised by overburdened student affairs officers. Universities seem more focused on insulating themselves from lawsuits and scandals than on bringing about real change. What is needed, Freitas shows, is an effort by the entire university community to deal with the deeper questions about sex, ethics, values, and how we treat one another, including facing up to the perils of hookup culture-and to do so in the university's most important space: the classroom. We need to offer more than a section in the student handbook about sexual assault, and expand our education around consent far beyond "Yes Means Yes." We need to transform our campuses into places where consent is genuinely valued.
Freitas advocates for teaching not just how to consent, but why it's important to care about consent and to treat one's sexual partners with dignity and respect. Consent on Campus is a call to action for university administrators, faculty, parents, and students themselves, urging them to create cultures of consent on their campuses, and offering a blueprint for how to do it.
Their current strategy, Donna Freitas argues, is wholly inadequate. Universities must take a radically different approach to educating their campus communities about sexual assault and consent. Consent education is often a one-time affair, devised by overburdened student affairs officers. Universities seem more focused on insulating themselves from lawsuits and scandals than on bringing about real change. What is needed, Freitas shows, is an effort by the entire university community to deal with the deeper questions about sex, ethics, values, and how we treat one another, including facing up to the perils of hookup culture-and to do so in the university's most important space: the classroom. We need to offer more than a section in the student handbook about sexual assault, and expand our education around consent far beyond "Yes Means Yes." We need to transform our campuses into places where consent is genuinely valued.
Freitas advocates for teaching not just how to consent, but why it's important to care about consent and to treat one's sexual partners with dignity and respect. Consent on Campus is a call to action for university administrators, faculty, parents, and students themselves, urging them to create cultures of consent on their campuses, and offering a blueprint for how to do it.
248 pages, Hardcover
Published September 4, 2018
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August 9, 2019
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I wanted to like this a lot more than I did, and my rating isn't because I disagree with what the author is saying, but because I didn't particularly agree with the way she goes about it. Freitas is free to write her book the way she wishes, but this is a very dry manifesto and I feel like it's going to be inaccessible to a lot of people because of the scholarly tone-- but her primary goal, as she says in the beginning, is to put this book into the hands of college presidents, since they have so much of a hand in shaping school policies with regard to sexual misconduct, so maybe this is a case of my being the wrong audience.
CONSENT ON CAMPUS is a brief overview of defining consent (or attempting to), emphasizing the importance of having both rules and infrastructure for supporting and upholding these rules in place, and also discussing why rape and assault are problems-- not just on campuses-- and how society's views towards women and hookup culture warp our views about sex and consent in the first place.
I took issue with a few of her finer points. First, she doesn't really seem to like trigger warnings, even though she respects the people who need them. That's fine, since I'm kind of in the same boat. I don't need them, although I understand the desire for them and respect that need. My issue here is that she says it's important for people who have undergone trauma to talk about that trauma, or at least be around people talking about it, and that this is better than doing nothing. Um, not necessarily. Yes, some people need to talk, but for some, talking can make it worse. Speaking as a psychology major, I can tell you that the brain has many defense mechanisms in place to strategically suppress unpleasant memories. In the 1980s, people thought repressed memories needed to come to the surface, mostly due to neo-Freudian theories about the subconscious mind, IIRC, but that isn't necessarily the case. When you forget something traumatic, that's your brain trying to protect you by keeping you safe and sane, and forcing people to relive and remember that traumatic event isn't always ideal.
Second, she talks a lot about how hookup culture contributes to the rape culture, which is true and it isn't. Hookup culture gets kind of messy because you can't really talk about it without also talking about sexual empowerment and the white feminism belief that you can reclaim your sexuality by embracing and reveling the male gaze. Personally, I think that any kind of culture that reduces people to the means to an end in a game of sexual pursuit is inherently problematic on both sides, but that wouldn't be as problematic if everyone playing the game understood consent. It's kind of like how BDSM gets a bad rap because of a few bad actors who get into the scene to abuse people; that's not what it's about, but the bad actors make the news and create a vibe of discomfort and paranoia.
Third, I would have liked more examples-- more case studies, more statistics, more personal stories. This felt so dry, and I really don't think it's going to connect with its audience in a way that will inspire that intense, emotional, "Yes, this needs to change!" feeling that triggers calls to action. We're not logical beings and we're more swayed by our emotions than we are by cold hard facts. I agreed with most of the author's points and I finished the book feeling nothing. That's a problem. I'm sorry to give this such a low rating but there are better books on the subject than this. YMMV.
Thanks to the publisher for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review!
2 stars
July 22, 2018
Summary: An argument that current approaches to consent education as an approach to combating sexual assault on campus are inadequate both in the time devoted to deal with the complexities of sexuality, and the absence of campus leadership, faculty, presidents, and other university leaders, from the discussions.
Much has been made in recent years of the prevalence of sexual assault on campus, with statistics indicating between 20 and 25 percent of women will be subject to assault, and smaller numbers of men, during their collegiate years. Colleges and universities, under pressure from the federal government and Title IX enforcement, have stepped up their efforts at "Consent Education" with programs like "Sex Signals" and "Partying with Consent." These programs, often part of an hour long session in new student orientation, allow campuses to check the box that they have exercised due diligence in consent education. The other side is Title IX enforcement when a student or other member of the university community files a sexual assault complaint, with mandatory reporting requirements when university officials learn of a sexual assault, opaque investigative processes, neglect of due process for the accused, and pressures on the accuser, depending on who the perpetrator might be.
Donna Freitas, who has been studying student sexuality and the hookup culture on campus for the past ten years since publication of Sex and the Soul, believes these institutional responses to be utterly inadequate. She begins with a preface directed to all university presidents, and it is her hope that they all read this book. Their personal engagement, and not simply written statements, is vital in communicating that campus leadership prioritize thoughtful, honest discussion of sexuality on campus.
She surveys the landscape of campus efforts to deal with sexual assault. She offers a helpful explanation of how Title IX works, the "Dear Colleagues..." letter in 2011 that has triggered the growth of Title IX offices, reporting, and enforcement, and the failure of a campus-wide approach to address the sexual culture on campus that is implicit in Title IX proceedings. She also describes the thin efforts at consent education that fails to deal with the complexities of what "yes" means. Particularly, this is problematic with the party culture of campus and the complications alcohol bring to consent for both male and female students.
It goes deeper though and perhaps one of the most important part of Freitas' book is the exploration of the inherited "scripts" that shape student behavior, often pressuring them to act in ways that are far from sexually free. Women have to project an air of indifference toward men, that sex doesn't really matter that much, to avoid any sense of appearing "needy" or "clinging." Men face pressures to perform sexually, even when they don't want to. Their masculinity is at stake. Hookups are defined as over when the man "comes" (no real consideration of the woman's experience). Women also face pressures around body image and various forms of "slut shaming." All of this, in combination with the presence of alcohol, undermines any real giving and receiving of consent, as well as destroying any sense of sex as something deeply intimate, powerful and empowering for both partners. These inherited scripts are problematic, and often supported by a prevailing assumption on campus that "everyone is doing it" that doesn't support those who wish to abstain, or wait for a different kind of relationship.
Freitas advocates for a concerted, widely owned effort to re-write these scripts, shared between students, student life personnel and faculty and university leadership. She observes that students often have high ideals of social justice and human dignity, but have never been able to connect those ideals to their sexual and partying behavior with each other. Freitas argues that any sexual encounter is an ethical act. She suggests using campus mission statements, which often are intended but rarely applied as expressing the ideals to which the community aspires. She contends that both existing scripts need to be codified, and critically examined, and that alternative, "interruptive" scripts need to be enacted. She sites the example of Columbia student, Emma Sulkowicz, an assault survivor who raised campus awareness by carrying her mattress with her wherever she went, which became a senior thesis, "Carry That Weight." Most of all, she pleads that discussions of sexuality not be confined to large, one hour orientation sessions led by over-burdened student life personnel, but be integrated into classroom discussions. She challenges the value of intellectual detachment, proposing that where course content is relevant, that discussion on how this bears on students personal lives and behavior is appropriate and needed and that faculty and university leaders actively engage what happens after the classroom hours as well as during them.
I found much to be commended in this "manifesto" that "named the elephant" lurking on every campus. I appreciated her contention that what is needed are not trigger warnings but honest, even painful discussion (while never forcing students to share personal experiences they are not ready for). I appreciated her descriptions of Title IX and existing consent education efforts and their inadequacy. This needs to be honestly faced, and she helps us do that. I was glad for her contention that student beliefs and choices not to engage in the campus hookup culture need to be affirmed for whatever reasons, including religious belief, that they embrace these choices.
At the same time, she writes dismissively of "values voters" and conservative "one size fits all" ethics in a way that seems to suggest that this is the only alternative currently on offer to hookup culture or her own "script rewriting efforts." The truth is many campus religious communities are having thoughtful discussions of the kind she writes about that go beyond "what not to do and who not to do it with" to explore the meaning of sexuality, the significance of our gender and identity, how we deal with desire and respect and honor others. She leaves this group out as potential allies, despite their influence with a significant percentage of students on many campuses.
Finally, in urging greater faculty involvement, I wonder whether she reckons with the institutional support necessary for such conversations, from training of what is and is not legal and appropriate in classroom discussions, access to counseling when discussions raise unresolved issues for faculty who also have sexual lives and histories, and good linkages between faculty and student services personnel who might follow up with students in need of further counsel.
This "wake up call" comes as another cohort of students is preparing to arrive on campus. The matters she raises are urgent. Will this next cohort face the same depersonalizing sexual scripts that have prevailed and receive the same thin gruel of consent training? Will both men and women feel strong pressure to conform to the gender stereotypes that prevail in campus sexual culture? And will 20 to 25 percent of these women conclude their college experience not only with a degree but a sexual assault? Much of the answer depends, in Freitas' view, on whether university leaders, faculty, student life personnel and students come together to disrupt that culture. Her book is probably one of the best playbooks I've seen for doing just that.
____________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
Much has been made in recent years of the prevalence of sexual assault on campus, with statistics indicating between 20 and 25 percent of women will be subject to assault, and smaller numbers of men, during their collegiate years. Colleges and universities, under pressure from the federal government and Title IX enforcement, have stepped up their efforts at "Consent Education" with programs like "Sex Signals" and "Partying with Consent." These programs, often part of an hour long session in new student orientation, allow campuses to check the box that they have exercised due diligence in consent education. The other side is Title IX enforcement when a student or other member of the university community files a sexual assault complaint, with mandatory reporting requirements when university officials learn of a sexual assault, opaque investigative processes, neglect of due process for the accused, and pressures on the accuser, depending on who the perpetrator might be.
Donna Freitas, who has been studying student sexuality and the hookup culture on campus for the past ten years since publication of Sex and the Soul, believes these institutional responses to be utterly inadequate. She begins with a preface directed to all university presidents, and it is her hope that they all read this book. Their personal engagement, and not simply written statements, is vital in communicating that campus leadership prioritize thoughtful, honest discussion of sexuality on campus.
She surveys the landscape of campus efforts to deal with sexual assault. She offers a helpful explanation of how Title IX works, the "Dear Colleagues..." letter in 2011 that has triggered the growth of Title IX offices, reporting, and enforcement, and the failure of a campus-wide approach to address the sexual culture on campus that is implicit in Title IX proceedings. She also describes the thin efforts at consent education that fails to deal with the complexities of what "yes" means. Particularly, this is problematic with the party culture of campus and the complications alcohol bring to consent for both male and female students.
It goes deeper though and perhaps one of the most important part of Freitas' book is the exploration of the inherited "scripts" that shape student behavior, often pressuring them to act in ways that are far from sexually free. Women have to project an air of indifference toward men, that sex doesn't really matter that much, to avoid any sense of appearing "needy" or "clinging." Men face pressures to perform sexually, even when they don't want to. Their masculinity is at stake. Hookups are defined as over when the man "comes" (no real consideration of the woman's experience). Women also face pressures around body image and various forms of "slut shaming." All of this, in combination with the presence of alcohol, undermines any real giving and receiving of consent, as well as destroying any sense of sex as something deeply intimate, powerful and empowering for both partners. These inherited scripts are problematic, and often supported by a prevailing assumption on campus that "everyone is doing it" that doesn't support those who wish to abstain, or wait for a different kind of relationship.
Freitas advocates for a concerted, widely owned effort to re-write these scripts, shared between students, student life personnel and faculty and university leadership. She observes that students often have high ideals of social justice and human dignity, but have never been able to connect those ideals to their sexual and partying behavior with each other. Freitas argues that any sexual encounter is an ethical act. She suggests using campus mission statements, which often are intended but rarely applied as expressing the ideals to which the community aspires. She contends that both existing scripts need to be codified, and critically examined, and that alternative, "interruptive" scripts need to be enacted. She sites the example of Columbia student, Emma Sulkowicz, an assault survivor who raised campus awareness by carrying her mattress with her wherever she went, which became a senior thesis, "Carry That Weight." Most of all, she pleads that discussions of sexuality not be confined to large, one hour orientation sessions led by over-burdened student life personnel, but be integrated into classroom discussions. She challenges the value of intellectual detachment, proposing that where course content is relevant, that discussion on how this bears on students personal lives and behavior is appropriate and needed and that faculty and university leaders actively engage what happens after the classroom hours as well as during them.
I found much to be commended in this "manifesto" that "named the elephant" lurking on every campus. I appreciated her contention that what is needed are not trigger warnings but honest, even painful discussion (while never forcing students to share personal experiences they are not ready for). I appreciated her descriptions of Title IX and existing consent education efforts and their inadequacy. This needs to be honestly faced, and she helps us do that. I was glad for her contention that student beliefs and choices not to engage in the campus hookup culture need to be affirmed for whatever reasons, including religious belief, that they embrace these choices.
At the same time, she writes dismissively of "values voters" and conservative "one size fits all" ethics in a way that seems to suggest that this is the only alternative currently on offer to hookup culture or her own "script rewriting efforts." The truth is many campus religious communities are having thoughtful discussions of the kind she writes about that go beyond "what not to do and who not to do it with" to explore the meaning of sexuality, the significance of our gender and identity, how we deal with desire and respect and honor others. She leaves this group out as potential allies, despite their influence with a significant percentage of students on many campuses.
Finally, in urging greater faculty involvement, I wonder whether she reckons with the institutional support necessary for such conversations, from training of what is and is not legal and appropriate in classroom discussions, access to counseling when discussions raise unresolved issues for faculty who also have sexual lives and histories, and good linkages between faculty and student services personnel who might follow up with students in need of further counsel.
This "wake up call" comes as another cohort of students is preparing to arrive on campus. The matters she raises are urgent. Will this next cohort face the same depersonalizing sexual scripts that have prevailed and receive the same thin gruel of consent training? Will both men and women feel strong pressure to conform to the gender stereotypes that prevail in campus sexual culture? And will 20 to 25 percent of these women conclude their college experience not only with a degree but a sexual assault? Much of the answer depends, in Freitas' view, on whether university leaders, faculty, student life personnel and students come together to disrupt that culture. Her book is probably one of the best playbooks I've seen for doing just that.
____________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
May 11, 2018
Really eye-opening read at parts -- as someone on a college campus, this struck hard. We really need to rework how we view sex, consent, and gender as well. The last third of this book is really directed towards those who can actually make a change on campuses, like college presidents and faculty, so keep that in mind.
July 27, 2018
Kudos to Donna Freitas for bring this issue to the attention of, I hope, a broader audience! I don't know how much good it will do, but just being talked about will be a good beginning. It's only my opinion, but I think parents abdicated ages ago when it comes to the sex talk. Sex is such a taboo subject to talk about openly, especially with young teens. We'll teach the basic mechanics of it, but no one wants to talk about the emotional side of it. And forget anything else concerning our using each other's bodies.(Thanks to Bill Clinton, lots of kids my daughters age refused to believe oral sex was still sex. It is.) There has to be a way to reach kids at puberty about the pitfalls of intimacy BEFORE they get used and burned. And for heavens sake, if your adult child is going off to college and you, and your friends, family, and whatever, have already been, PLEASE gather together a large group and TALK about what to look out for! (We do it for our daughters when they start their periods.) No drinking or drugging to excess might be a good start. Make sure if you go out as a group, you leave as a group! After dark, bring a bud, pepper spray, etc...Protect yourself! It was a rule all of my girlfriends had before college and continued after we started. We never ever even went to the women's room alone. Especially not on campus, too isolated in some cases. Colleges aren't exempt from violence, never have been! Stuff happened on campuses back in the 60's (when my friends and some family members were going) ,1970's (when I was going) and in the 90's (my daughter), I'd be willing to bet stuff was happening at the very beginning of colleges with dorms. They are public places and no mommy and daddy surrogates are going to watch out for you; your back is not covered by anyone. If your parents are sending you off so unprepared, shame on them. And fyi, Hookups are bad news. Just don't. It cheapens everyone involved (I'm not "slut shaming" anyone (can be applied to either sex I assume...or should if it's going to be used at all.) I just don't understand how anyone can so go against human nature to have anonymous sex or be friends with benefits... seems very wrong to so many levels. What are the benefits?? And for who??
I have no idea how to address these issues as late as college age, or how to best protect college students from themselves. (Makes me wonder how they got into college while being so ignorant. Some of it seems like common sense. They were taught to not talk to strangers, keep your hands to yourself, etc. Common sense rules shouldn't be thrown out the window just because one is in college. But it seems like heady freedom from adults gives way to idiocy because, well, 18 year-22 year old's are adults and can take care of themselves. College isn't exactly dorms with matrons and curfews any more. Many dorms are mixed male and female now. Maybe parents ought to make sure they raised adults- and not overage children.
One last item the athletes. We really need to stop idolizing sports stars and teams in this country. Maybe get rid of college sports teams all together. Just remove the insanity. The kids aren't gods and most aren't going on to illustrious careers. If they can't get a grip on themselves, maybe they need shorter leashes; hold their handlers/coaches responsible for their behavior. Player messes up, fine or hold that coach just as responsible for their bad behavior. And maybe the dean or university president. If someones going to jail for breaking the law, the "responsible adult" should, too. parents are held accountable for their underage children's actions, why not colleges? Same goes for frat boys. Or just eliminate them from colleges, too. Are sports and frat houses really needed in the 21 century. Maybe we just need to put all colleges online and eliminate the campuses all together. That just might solve the whole problem right there.
Freitas asks some very good questions in her conclusion, ones that should have been addressed long before students even headed off to college. These talks over many years and should be done in the home, or taught as a year long class very year of school from K-12 like English or history (I really hate to throw this at our poor beleaguered teachers, they have enough on their plates). I think humans as a whole, our whole lovely messes, not just our bodies, need to be discussed and taught. That may just solve some issues in itself. Maybe folks reading this book will find the questions good openings to talk with their kids about intimacy.
Great book, highly recommend reading by parents while their kids are still young.
Sorry this is so long, but so much light is being shed on this subject lately, I just needed to add my two bits.
It's a quick, easy read even if a difficult subject, that everyone should read.
I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review.
I have no idea how to address these issues as late as college age, or how to best protect college students from themselves. (Makes me wonder how they got into college while being so ignorant. Some of it seems like common sense. They were taught to not talk to strangers, keep your hands to yourself, etc. Common sense rules shouldn't be thrown out the window just because one is in college. But it seems like heady freedom from adults gives way to idiocy because, well, 18 year-22 year old's are adults and can take care of themselves. College isn't exactly dorms with matrons and curfews any more. Many dorms are mixed male and female now. Maybe parents ought to make sure they raised adults- and not overage children.
One last item the athletes. We really need to stop idolizing sports stars and teams in this country. Maybe get rid of college sports teams all together. Just remove the insanity. The kids aren't gods and most aren't going on to illustrious careers. If they can't get a grip on themselves, maybe they need shorter leashes; hold their handlers/coaches responsible for their behavior. Player messes up, fine or hold that coach just as responsible for their bad behavior. And maybe the dean or university president. If someones going to jail for breaking the law, the "responsible adult" should, too. parents are held accountable for their underage children's actions, why not colleges? Same goes for frat boys. Or just eliminate them from colleges, too. Are sports and frat houses really needed in the 21 century. Maybe we just need to put all colleges online and eliminate the campuses all together. That just might solve the whole problem right there.
Freitas asks some very good questions in her conclusion, ones that should have been addressed long before students even headed off to college. These talks over many years and should be done in the home, or taught as a year long class very year of school from K-12 like English or history (I really hate to throw this at our poor beleaguered teachers, they have enough on their plates). I think humans as a whole, our whole lovely messes, not just our bodies, need to be discussed and taught. That may just solve some issues in itself. Maybe folks reading this book will find the questions good openings to talk with their kids about intimacy.
Great book, highly recommend reading by parents while their kids are still young.
Sorry this is so long, but so much light is being shed on this subject lately, I just needed to add my two bits.
It's a quick, easy read even if a difficult subject, that everyone should read.
I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review.
November 29, 2018
Here is a free history lesson in higher education:
In Loco Parentis was the name of the game since the beginning. College administrators controlled everything including the personal lives of students. They dictated what students learned, what they ate, when they slept, and even who they dated. As society progressed into the 1960’s, administrators tried to keep their authoritarian power but (most) finally relented. This gave way to a new era higher education when the administration pendulum swung over to laissez-faire. Colleges didn’t care what you said or did, as long as you weren’t cheating. Even if you broke the law, colleges took a step back and left everything to the judicial system.
Recently, things have started to change. As the price of higher education has increased rapidly over the past couple of decades, students, parents, and legislators have all demanded colleges to take more responsibility. Legislation like the Clery Act and Title IX Amendments have required schools to upkeep a certain level of safety for students. Additionally, major events like the Virginia Tech and the #MeToo have shifted conversations on responsibility.
Sex on college campuses has been a huge topic for decades. Recently, colleges have been given two seemingly opposing directives. Directive one: when it comes to sex, stay out of way; let students make their own decisions. You can educate them and give them options, but it is their bodies. Allow them to control their body. Directive two: the moment you know about a sexual assault, you must step in immediately and correct the situation.
Now, yes, I have oversimplified these directives and it may seem like I am minimizing or poking fun at a serious topic but I think it is important to notice the struggle on college campuses.
Conset on Campus works through all this information and more. The author shares her experiences presenting on colleges throughout the country. She recounts her numerous conversations with college students and how they admit to being culpable to the negative sexual culture found on college campuses.
I really enjoyed this book and the author’s approach. I wrongly assumed she was going to simply attack colleges for not doing enough then and now. She brings in great information and challenges the norms that have been accepted.
I think this book is a great read for anyone on a college campus.
In Loco Parentis was the name of the game since the beginning. College administrators controlled everything including the personal lives of students. They dictated what students learned, what they ate, when they slept, and even who they dated. As society progressed into the 1960’s, administrators tried to keep their authoritarian power but (most) finally relented. This gave way to a new era higher education when the administration pendulum swung over to laissez-faire. Colleges didn’t care what you said or did, as long as you weren’t cheating. Even if you broke the law, colleges took a step back and left everything to the judicial system.
Recently, things have started to change. As the price of higher education has increased rapidly over the past couple of decades, students, parents, and legislators have all demanded colleges to take more responsibility. Legislation like the Clery Act and Title IX Amendments have required schools to upkeep a certain level of safety for students. Additionally, major events like the Virginia Tech and the #MeToo have shifted conversations on responsibility.
Sex on college campuses has been a huge topic for decades. Recently, colleges have been given two seemingly opposing directives. Directive one: when it comes to sex, stay out of way; let students make their own decisions. You can educate them and give them options, but it is their bodies. Allow them to control their body. Directive two: the moment you know about a sexual assault, you must step in immediately and correct the situation.
Now, yes, I have oversimplified these directives and it may seem like I am minimizing or poking fun at a serious topic but I think it is important to notice the struggle on college campuses.
Conset on Campus works through all this information and more. The author shares her experiences presenting on colleges throughout the country. She recounts her numerous conversations with college students and how they admit to being culpable to the negative sexual culture found on college campuses.
I really enjoyed this book and the author’s approach. I wrongly assumed she was going to simply attack colleges for not doing enough then and now. She brings in great information and challenges the norms that have been accepted.
I think this book is a great read for anyone on a college campus.
January 23, 2019
Professor Freitas has been studying student sexual attitudes (and actions) on college and university campus across America and her finding are scary. While administrations and government policy focus on issues of verbal consent and the use of drugs or mental conditions that might render consent impossible, they ignore the development of an attitude that may be undermining all concerns about consent -- Hookup Culture.
The book is for anyone but it is directed to Presidents and other upper administrators on campus according to the introduction. Hooking up wasn't unknown when my partner was in college (graduated 2003) but he'd never heard of the hookup as the dominant attitude toward sex; instead he heard of casually seeing multiple people and friends with benefits as the goal (at least for other men). Administrators are likely older than my partner so this book needs a clearer definition of hookup culture and a clear timeline and explanation for how and why it developed.
The book shines when it describes current attitudes toward sex and relationships across men and women. It is so maddening to read that almost zero value is being placed on women's sexual pleasure let alone sexual choice. As much as the choice is felt to be missing from the men's lives at least their pleasure remains the focal point of the entire hookup. What is missing however is the diversity that Freitas says we need to include so I think she needs to do more surveys and interviews to give the President she wants to read this book a fuller picture.
The last section of the book offers advice for how college campus could address the attitudes and try to change them. The steps are fairly detailed without limiting how different types of schools might enact them. However, I have to point out that if students are coming to school as first years knowing following these behavioral models, wouldn't the better target for these steps be high school or at least also include high school?
I agree that this book needs to be read and used by college officials to help them address campus attitudes toward sex and relationships. I think that as more and more women attend college compared to men, the attitudes will change but it might be for healthier or better unless we can break up beliefs that students ascribe to today.
The book is for anyone but it is directed to Presidents and other upper administrators on campus according to the introduction. Hooking up wasn't unknown when my partner was in college (graduated 2003) but he'd never heard of the hookup as the dominant attitude toward sex; instead he heard of casually seeing multiple people and friends with benefits as the goal (at least for other men). Administrators are likely older than my partner so this book needs a clearer definition of hookup culture and a clear timeline and explanation for how and why it developed.
The book shines when it describes current attitudes toward sex and relationships across men and women. It is so maddening to read that almost zero value is being placed on women's sexual pleasure let alone sexual choice. As much as the choice is felt to be missing from the men's lives at least their pleasure remains the focal point of the entire hookup. What is missing however is the diversity that Freitas says we need to include so I think she needs to do more surveys and interviews to give the President she wants to read this book a fuller picture.
The last section of the book offers advice for how college campus could address the attitudes and try to change them. The steps are fairly detailed without limiting how different types of schools might enact them. However, I have to point out that if students are coming to school as first years knowing following these behavioral models, wouldn't the better target for these steps be high school or at least also include high school?
I agree that this book needs to be read and used by college officials to help them address campus attitudes toward sex and relationships. I think that as more and more women attend college compared to men, the attitudes will change but it might be for healthier or better unless we can break up beliefs that students ascribe to today.
January 19, 2019
I thought Freitas clearly communicated the challenges surrounding conversation regarding consent and sexual assault on college campuses. The book set the scene for understanding how colleges in America are navigating the issue of consent, explained the beliefs students have learned and inherited regarding gender and sexual ethics, and offered ways colleges can flip these scripts on end and move toward healthy ways of engaging these conversations.
While the prevalence of sexual assault on college campuses and the narratives directing students are certainly concerning, this book communicates in an alarming tone that is not always approachable. This may prove challenging as Freitas hopes this book is read by senior level administrators who do not always value conversations around sex, consent, and hookup culture.
The conversations with students recounted in this book are eye-opening, heart-breaking, and inspiring.
Overall, this book was helpful as I work to provide education surrounding Title IX and empower students to flip the scripts they've inherited regarding topics relating to sexual ethics. I also appreciated the reminder that we can do far more than the minimum legal standards that serve to provide legal protection for the university and too often fail to provide genuine care toward students or rich, formational education.
While the prevalence of sexual assault on college campuses and the narratives directing students are certainly concerning, this book communicates in an alarming tone that is not always approachable. This may prove challenging as Freitas hopes this book is read by senior level administrators who do not always value conversations around sex, consent, and hookup culture.
The conversations with students recounted in this book are eye-opening, heart-breaking, and inspiring.
Overall, this book was helpful as I work to provide education surrounding Title IX and empower students to flip the scripts they've inherited regarding topics relating to sexual ethics. I also appreciated the reminder that we can do far more than the minimum legal standards that serve to provide legal protection for the university and too often fail to provide genuine care toward students or rich, formational education.
August 3, 2018
I won a free copy of this book through Goodreads Giveaways.
This is going to require a re-read to really process all of the information in here, but as a person with a 15+ year career in higher education, the main points Freitas lays out in this book resonate. There is a fundamental lack surrounding how we speak to our young people about sex--it starts before they ever step foot on a campus, of course, but it doesn't get any better once they get here and therein lies the problem. The national conversation about sex, consent, hook-ups, parties and drinking needs to change, and the attitudes on campus surrounding student life versus academics need to change as well. There's no way for it but to start trying to make that change, even if you're the only voice on campus doing it. The hope, of course, is that you can convince others to join you, or at the very least support you. I think this book could act as an excellent jumping off point for gaining the type of campus-wide support needed to really implement a program of sex-and-consent education that really allows students to learn about all of the entrenched expectations and baggage they maybe don't even know they're carrying around, and to give them the tools to leave those expectations behind as they see fit.
This is going to require a re-read to really process all of the information in here, but as a person with a 15+ year career in higher education, the main points Freitas lays out in this book resonate. There is a fundamental lack surrounding how we speak to our young people about sex--it starts before they ever step foot on a campus, of course, but it doesn't get any better once they get here and therein lies the problem. The national conversation about sex, consent, hook-ups, parties and drinking needs to change, and the attitudes on campus surrounding student life versus academics need to change as well. There's no way for it but to start trying to make that change, even if you're the only voice on campus doing it. The hope, of course, is that you can convince others to join you, or at the very least support you. I think this book could act as an excellent jumping off point for gaining the type of campus-wide support needed to really implement a program of sex-and-consent education that really allows students to learn about all of the entrenched expectations and baggage they maybe don't even know they're carrying around, and to give them the tools to leave those expectations behind as they see fit.
September 6, 2018
*GoodReads First Reads*
It was mentioned in this book that this book was not only meant for college students, but also the university administration and faculty. I agree that this is the most impertinent for the people who run the colleges. There have been too many times where the universities would rather protect their establishment or the perpetrators than the victims. I feel like this book really got the the core of why the solutions we have created have not worked, why they aren't working, and some possible ways to start working towards actual useful solutions to the ever growing problem. Everyone must read.
It was mentioned in this book that this book was not only meant for college students, but also the university administration and faculty. I agree that this is the most impertinent for the people who run the colleges. There have been too many times where the universities would rather protect their establishment or the perpetrators than the victims. I feel like this book really got the the core of why the solutions we have created have not worked, why they aren't working, and some possible ways to start working towards actual useful solutions to the ever growing problem. Everyone must read.
October 2, 2019
More like 4.5 stars but I’ll give it five. Really great reflection on university campus culture but could have been longer and possibly employed some more story telling to make the points pop and connect the ideas to a specific relatable narrative. Honestly she made several points which needed to be made about campus culture especially hookup culture which has almost become taboo to say anything against lest you be labeled anti feminist. Kudos to Freitas for this quick but informative read. 👍🏼
December 7, 2018
This is not only an excellent primer that should be, as Freitas notes, required reading for all college presidents, it is also, as the title indicates, a manifesto. But it's a manifesto of the very best kind -- one that encourages and explains not just the necessity for conversations and actions, but provides suggestions for how to orchestrate those conversations and actions.
January 3, 2019
Enlightening statistics and strong call to action. As a graduate student, understanding the culture in which i have immersed myself is not only a weapon to defend myself and others, but also a teaching tool. By pointing out what may be taken for granted as normal behavior or normalized and justified behavior(s), it can create opportunities for others to examine and reflect on the behavior(s).
June 22, 2019
As a Student Affairs Professional this book gave some great ideas on how to approach the complexities of hookup culture, consent, identity, and being a college student. It is a call to action by everyone who interacts with the world of higher education, and not the sole responsibility of one department or one person.
February 6, 2021
An excellent place to start, as long as you don’t stop here. “Hook-up culture” usually describes experiences of white, straight, affluent student. If you mine the notes, you can address the experiences of the large numbers of students not in that relatively narrow category.
That said, well worth reading and considering.
That said, well worth reading and considering.
July 11, 2019
4.25- read for work. This is a great read on the importance of conversations around consent at all levels of a campus community- including conversations about human dignity and justice.
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