The Book of Delights: Essays

by Ross Gay

Ross Gay’s The Book of Delights is a genre-defying book of essays—some as short as a paragraph; some as long as five pages—that record the small joys that occurred in one year, from birthday to birthday, and that we often overlook in our busy lives. His is a meditation on delight that takes a clear-eyed view of the complexities, even the terrors, in his life, including living in America as a black man; the ecological and psychic violence of our consumer culture; the loss of those he loves. Among Gay’s funny, poetic, philosophical delights: the way Botan Rice Candy wrappers melt in your mouth, the volunteer crossing guard with a pronounced tremor whom he imagines as a kind of boat-woman escorting pedestrians across the River Styx, a friend’s unabashed use of air quotes, pickup basketball games, the silent nod of acknowledgment between black people. And more than any other subject, Gay celebrates the beauty of the natural world—his garden, the flowers in the sidewalk, the birds, the bees, the mushrooms, the trees.

This is not a book of how-to or inspiration, though it could be read that way. Fans of Roxane Gay, Maggie Nelson, and Kiese Laymon will revel in Gay’s voice, and his insights. The Book of Delights is about our connection to the world, to each other, and the rewards that come from a life closely observed. Gay’s pieces serve as a powerful and necessary reminder that we can, and should, stake out a space in our lives for delight. 

Preface
1. My Birthday, Kinda
2. Inefficiency
3. Flower in the Curb
4. Blowing It Off
5. Hole in the Head
6. Remission Still
7. Praying Mantis
8. The Negreeting
9. The High-Five from Strangers, Etc
10. Writing by Hand
11. Transplanting
12. Nicknames
13. But, Maybe ..
14. "Joy Is Such a Human Madness
15. House Party
16. Hummingbird
17. Just a Dream
18. "That's Some Bambi Shit" ..
19. The Irrepressible: The Gratitudes
20. Tap Tap
21. Coffee without the Saucer
22. Lily on the Pants
23. Sharing a Bag 24. Umbrella in the Café
25. Beast Mode
26. Airplane Rituals
27. Weirdly Untitled
28. Pecans
29. The Do-Over
30. Infinity
31. Ghost
32. Nota Bene
33. "Love Me in a Special Way"
34. "Stay," by Lisa Loeb
35. Stacking Delights
36. Donny Hathaway on Pandora
37. "To Spread the Sweetness of Love"
38. Baby, Baby, Baby
39. "REPENT OR BURN"
40. Giving My Body to the Cause
41. Among the Rewards of My Sloth . .
42. Not Grumpy Cat
43. Some Stupid Shit
44. Not Only . .
45. Microgentrification: WE BUY GOLD
46. Reading Palms
47. The Sanctity of Trains
48. Bird Feeding
49. Kombucha in a Mid-century Glass
50. Hickories
51. Annoyed No More
52. Toto
53. Church Poets
54. Public Lying Down
55. Babies. Seriously
56. "My Life, My Life, My Life, My Life in the Sunshine
57. Incorporation
58. Botan Rice Candy
59. Understory
60. "Joy Is Such a Human Madness": The Duff Between Us
61. "It's Just the Day I'm Having" ..
62. The Purple Cornets of Spring
63. The Volunteer
64. Fishing an Eyelash: Two or Three Cents on the Virtues of the Poetry Reading
65. Found Things
66. Found Things (2)
67. Cuplicking
68. Bobblehead
69. The Jenky 70. The Crow's Ablutions
71. Flowers in the Hands of Statues
72. An Abundance of Public Toilets
73. The Wave of Unfamiliars
74. Not for Nothing
75. Bindweed ... Delight?
76. Dickhead
77. Ambiguous Signage Sometimes
78. Heart to Heart
79. Caution: Bees on Bridge
80. Tomato on Board
81. Purple-Handed
82. Name: Kayte Young; Phone Number: 555-867-5309
83. Still Processing
84. Fireflies
85. My Scythe Jack
86. Pawpaw Grove
87. Loitering
88. Touched
89. Scat
90. Get Thee to the Nutrient Cycle!
91. Pulling Carrots
92. Filling the Frame
93. Reckless Air Quotes 94. Judith Irene Gay, Aged Seventy-six Today!
95. Rothko Backboard
96. The Marfa Lights
97. The Carport
98. My Garden (Book):
99. Black Bumblebees!
100. Grown
101. Coco-baby
102. My Birthday

Genres: Essays, Nonfiction, Poetry, Memoir, Short Stories, Audiobook, Biography

288 pages, Hardcover

First published February 12, 2019

About the author

Ross Gay is the author of Against Which, Bringing the Shovel Down, and Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude. His poems have appeared in American Poetry Review, Orion, the Sun, and elsewhere. He is an associate professor of poetry at Indiana University and teaches in Drew University’s low-residency MFA program in poetry. He also serves on the board of the Bloomington Community Orchard.

Reviews

[Julie Ehlers · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's no better book to read in these (to put it mildly) trying times. Ross Gay is not blind to the horrors and injustices of the world, but he has the kind of optimism and faith in humanity most of us can only dream of having. And because he's a poet, he knows how to make the most of small moments and imbue them with vivid, colorful detail. He's the best. He is the best. Tempting as it may be, don't binge on these short essays—read one a day, just as they were written, and see if you don't find yourself looking forward to it every morning.

Also see: Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude.

[Lucy Dacus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what it purports to be. It’s delightful. For anyone looking for some brief accounts of joy to buoy them. Thank you, Ross Gay.

[Sean Gibson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful buddy read with the delightful Allie, who is working hard to remedy her many Nicolas Cage-related character defects. We are disappointed in her progress, but we choose to believe that humanity is generally good and that people will eventually do the right thing, so we will benevolently continue to give her the benefit of the delightful doubt.

Gay is an accomplished poet whose prose is dense and digressionary. That’s not to say that it’s bad, or even unpleasant to read; it may, however, not be to the tastes of someone who, unlike myself, does not delight in copious quantities of clauses and parentheticals breaking up thoughts that, even uninterrupted, don’t always lead to a particularly noteworthy conclusion. Still, when he’s not being overly precious (or “twee,” as Allie so perfectly characterized a number of what Ross calls his “essayettes”) or being thoroughly descriptive with respect to how and where he moisturizes himself, and to what extent, after a shower, Gay’s attempts to convey what he finds delightful in everyday life are often enlightening and affirming. His observations run from the trifling (appreciation for a good coffee) to the profound (the circumstances under which “negreeting”—a nod of recognition offered from one African-American to another whom he/she doesn’t know—is expected and undertaken), and the joy he takes in simple pleasures, at times communicated in effervescent prose, is balanced by a sober perspective on how those same joys often occupy a space adjacent to sorrow.

Frankly, we could all benefit from taking a few moments every day to identify something delightful, even if that something delightful is not knowing the final piece of his anatomy Gay moisturizes after a shower and the tender, loving care with which he does it. Worth reading, though best done in bite-sized chunks. We’ll round up from 3.5 stars.

[Maede]

یکی از دستاوردهای این سال‌های کتاب‌خوانیم رو این می‌دونم که یاد گرفتم از بعضی کتاب‌ها بگذرم‌. گاهی وقت‌ها مشکل از کتاب نیست، مسئله اینه که هنوز زمانش نرسیده و با اصرار بیجا به خواندنش فقط آدم زجر می‌کشه و کتاب هم حروم میشه

نوشته‌ی این کتاب زیباست. ولی الان زمان و حوصله‌اش نیست

۱۴۰۱/۸/۳

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book of essays that as the description accurately describes as short essays - some in paragraphs, some in a few pages. Although the word "delight" is in the title, not all the essays are delightful. The Author has written these essays over the course of a year, he writes about what he observes and experiences and his corresponding thoughts.

This is a collection that is best read one day at a time. It is not to be read fast but at a leisurely pace. There is a need to stop, slow down, and make time. The author is a poet and his writing ebbs and flows. With most collections, you may not enjoy every entry, but I appreciated how the author wrote down his experiences.


Named one of the Best Books of 2019 by the Washington Independent Review of Books and Shelf Awareness.

Named a best reviewed book of 2019 by Lit Hub.

Named one of five books every high schooler should read by the School Library Journal

#TheBookOfDelights #NetGalley

Thank you to Algonquin Books and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.

Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Ross Gay's volume of poetry, Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude so I was eager to read this book of essays. Plus I'm always looking for ways to increase my own gratitude, to notice what is good in life as well as what is lacking or painful.

It took me a while to get into the rhythm of this book, mostly because I tend to rush through books and this one resisted such treatment. It demanded to be read slowly, to be savored. Once I caught on to this, I began to appreciate it better and to enjoy it.

Most of Gay's delights consist of small moments, savoring coffee, bringing a tomato on a plane, sharing hellos with strangers. These moments are available to me as well, although I usually take them for granted. I guess this book is about not taking small moments for granted but noticing them, holding them up to the sun and enjoying them.

Gay's book does not deny the difficulties and pains of life, especially those of racism and being a black male in the U.S. society. But the pain of these realities co-exists with the joy of being alive, not erased by this joy but present alongside it, perhaps giving us the strength, the courage to go on and fight for a better world. One in which the delights don't have to co-exist with unnecessary pain and suffering.

I finished this book resolved to create my own, perhaps not written down but lived out nonetheless. Noticing the joys in my own life, those I share with others and those perhaps peculiar to myself. To honor them and let them light up my own life.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars — My reading choices have been skewing pretty dark lately. Deliberately so for the month of October, but also long before that. Slightly masochistic of me, I know, with the realities of 2020 already being scary and grim enough as they are (global pandemic, Tr**p, national reckoning on racial injustice, etc.). But I've been finding these dark books strangely comforting and cathartic for some reason.

Still, after a particularly tumultuous and emotionally draining past couple weeks, I found myself craving a little bit of light and hope for a change.

For an entire year, the award-winning, African-American poet Ross Gay committed to writing daily, handwritten, unedited mini-essays about various spontaneous "delights" he'd discover in his everyday life, travels, dreams, friendships, gardening, etc. Sounded like the perfect, charming antidote to my anxiety and stress from the past several weeks!

Unfortunately, these "essayettes" turned out to be less accessible and enjoyable than I'd hoped. Imagine you’re cornered at a college party by that exuberant English or Philosophy major, late into the night after they’ve already smoked too much weed. They might seem friendly and earnest enough, but you can really only make out maybe half of their mile-a-minute, stream of consciousness ramblings. That’s pretty close to how reading this felt.

Too many of these chapters read like random excerpts from Gay's personal diary, a messy assortment of personal memories, literary allusions, and obscure pop culture references that can probably only be appreciated fully by a small circle of his closest family and friends.

That's not to say there aren't some hidden gems here. I easily finished this in one sitting, skimming the chapters that bored or confused me while taking time to "delight" in the chapters that didn't.

My favorites are those where Gay offers his candid, illuminating, and at times darkly funny takes on being a middle-aged, biracial Black man in America. It's in these chapters that he seems the most relaxed, honest, and accessible.

Gay encourages us to notice and relish “delights" even in the darkest of times, and you can't help but come away from this collection buoyed by his infectious optimism and slightly off-kilter humor.

Just wish this collection as a whole wasn't so frustratingly inconsistent, leaving me, on balance, bewildered more than delighted.

[Alok Vaid-Menon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ross Gay's work has changed the way that I notice and appreciate the world. Given me so much more access to hope, beauty, and possibility.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book best read slowly and savored. I dipped into it from time to time and enjoyed discovering a new perspective.

[Dee · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 rounded down - a true delight to read, a book of a lot of little essays on often mundane and occasionally profound subjects. A fairly quick read & I really did enjoy it, may refer back to it sometime & read one essay a day, as the author wrote them over a year, from one of his birthdays to the next.

[Ken · Rating 3 out of 5]

These essays are briefer than Fruit of the Loom, most three pages or less in an already-miniature-sized book. If you're looking to compare Ross Gay to stellar essayists like David Shields, John D'Agata, Marilynne Robinson, and Sarah Vowell, you'll find him wanting.

It's more fun and loose, an experiment he did wherein he'd try to find joy in something every day for a year (only he didn't write every day, so it's not a year, I fear). All of these "essayettes" were written by hand, too. Le Pens, to be specific, in a notebook, he'd like you to know. It's one of his joys.

The essays, quite informal, are OK and of varying strength. The positive vibes, though, are good for you, especially if the fraught situation of life in America these days makes you vaguely nauseous.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much I hugged it.

I can’t do it justice so I won’t try. If you haven’t read it yet, I’m jealous of you and also excited for you. I keep buying it and giving it away. I am grateful that it exists and horrified that it sat on my bookshelf for a couple of months and what if I never picked it up and read it??

Two favorite excerpts, the first especially because it’s a phenomenon I have chafed at since I could remember, understood it was a way of insisting on the otherness of people of color, and could never articulate exactly why that was, but here it is, from a beautiful genius no less:

I have no illusions, by which I mean to tell you it is a fact, that one of the objectives of popular culture, popular media, is to make blackness appear to be inextricable from suffering, and suffering from blackness. ...Clever as hell if your goal is to make appear natural what is, in fact, by design.

And the delight? You have been reading a book of delights written by a black person. A book of black delight.

Daily as air.

And:

Goddamn. How often do you get to see someone slow dancing with a pigeon! And not thirty seconds later, walking toward Eighth, giggling at my good fortune, a tufted titmouse swooped by my head, landing on a wrought-iron gate, upon which a pedestrian walking past me immediately pulled from her snazzy jacket pocket a baggie of crumbs, and the bird hopped directly into her hand, nuzzling the goodies intermittent with tweeting toward its new pal, the bird and woman both nodding at me gawking at them, smiling at my bafflement, as though to say, We’re everywhere.

[Billie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really needed this right now. I am grateful to Ross Gay for embarking upon a project to record one delight every day for a year and then finding a way to share those delights with all of us. Thank you, Mr. Gay, for being a light. The world needs you and people like you very much right now.

February 3, 2019: So, I spent the last couple of days listening to the audiobook on my commute and, if possible, I might be even more in love with the book the second time around. If a book could be a hug, this book is a big, warm, lingering hug from a good friend on a bad day. So much love for this book that is, on the surface, not my kind of book.

[Sasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book! But it didn’t really do it for me. I’m tempted to say it was cheesy but I don’t even think that’s what I didn’t like about it. I just didn’t really connect to it most of the time. Sometimes the writing annoyed me and I think I would enjoy his poetry more than his prose. There were certainly a few individual essays that did delight me though.

[Allie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Buddy read with the delightful Sean, OG of GR, whose hilarious review can be found here:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Poet Ross Gay turns to prose to capture moments of delight in his daily life over the course of a year, in a series of short essays. He writes with great exuberance in a warm, authentic voice. Gay is a progressive, feminist, tree hugging, African-American writer whose values align closely with mine. So I fully expected to love this book.

And yet...I struggled with Gay’s writing style, which is often a rambling, joyful, stream of consciousness. He expresses himself in convoluted, paragraph-length sentences with so many digressions that his original point is a distant memory by the time a period is finally reached. In between these paragraphs, there are often two or three word sentence fragments, as if Gay is a swimmer taking a quick breath before diving back into the soup of words.

There were several lovely essays, including one where he reminisces about capturing fireflies with his father as a child and another about how writing by hand is a completely different process than using a computer. I found Gay’s commentary about being mixed race in the United States interesting and insightful. There was a fantastic essay about the act of “negreeting” between African Americans, in which a nod or gesture subtly acknowledges other people of color present, as a means of recognizing those who were historically often invisible to the majority.

But Gay’s delights often left me bemused, which made it hard for me to enjoy his essays. He adores unexpected intimacy with strangers...someone calling him “honey” or “baby” or patting his arm or embracing him. Since I *detest* being called cutesy names or having strangers in my personal space, these essays made me cringe. Gay celebrates finding a dog-eared library book with notations in the margins and sticky finger prints, feeling that these markings connect him tangibly with previous readers. I’m not a purist who refuses to lay an open book face down, but I also don’t love it when people damage books, especially library books. I won’t even get into the essays on urination or his meticulous description of moisturizing each inch of his body after showering.

The concept of this book was a wonderful one—trying to find joy in the little things. So I am going to focus on the positive aspects of the book and give it a more generous rating than I would have otherwise: let’s say 4 stars for effort and 3 stars for execution.

Now go read Sean’s review.

[a cloud in trousers · Rating 5 out of 5]

being alive has never been something that feels natural to me, or easy. it is a shivering wildflower in early spring, dangerously close to wilting at all times, turning its hopeful & terrible face up towards the sun. help me live, it says. this book is one of the things that is helping me live.

the book of delights is a — you guessed it, delightful — book of short essays in which ross gay spends a year writing about delights every single day. perfect for those feeling down or overwhelmed with all the suffering that exists in the world. here is what makes us want to stay alive, condensed in a lovely and short little book.

[Ava Cairns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just as Ross Gay soaks up the delights of life, I try my best to soak up each each essay, sentence, word, and use of punctuation that Gay has blessed us with.
His writing was free therapy.
Each entry is filled with love, wittiness, and depth.
When he talks about the heaviness of the world, he continues to cradle and cultivate joy.
In one entry, he writes about a racist white woman who kicked him out of a cafe for fear that he would “scare away other customers.” This act of deep racism was followed by a joyous observation about a grasshopper on his mug.
In NO WAY am I arguing that discussions on racism should be followed by bursts of joy that attempts to sweep away systematic and societal problems. Because this is certainly not what Gay is attempting to do. Instead, Gay is offering his expression of the coexistence of joy and struggle.
His struggle, and joy for that matter, is one that I may not fully understand, given our differences in life experiences and privilege. Yet, I do recognize that reading this expression of joy and struggle allows Gay to counteract the media. Too often, the media only displays the 'racism struggle.' They don't show examples of Black joy, Black pride, or Black love. And Gay shows this. He will write about the racism, and he will write about embracing Blackness.
I think that both are important to read about, especially from those who are Black.
He is a critic and an embodiment of joy.
A few of my favorite quotes:
“rain percussing on the sidewalk in front of me”
“hovering in the luminal space between sensitivity and paranoia” (page 125)
-mention of Crystal Williams on page 126
“She is accepting, it seems, what she is: one of the varieties of light.” (page 250)
“an acquaintance, an academic, shockingly, who told his daughter, when she was a tadpole, the more stuff you love the happier you will be” (page 255)
“The fact that one’s comfort is often dependent, the way we set it up anyway, on one’s agony.” (259)
“I was thinking how many bodies of mine are in this body, this nearly forty-three-year-old body stationed on this plane for the briefest.” (267)
MY FAVORITE ENTRY, short but sweet: #96
Oh, and I loved his depictions of Marfa, Texas!

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I heard about this book from a really enchanting NPR podcast with the theme of “delight.” Gay told a story from this collection of essays and it resonated with me. I thought this collection would be a nice soothing balm to the ouchies covid life has brought on and was sold because of the high reviews on here. The author’s concept was great: take time each day to observe that often overlooked emotion of delight and revel in it. He explained early on that he’d put pen to paper and whatever was on his mind would spill onto the page and stay there, and he seemed true to his word on that to a fault. There were massive instances of run on sentences, tangents that didn’t seem relevant, and most references were obscure or so dated I didn’t get it. Usually I forgot the delight or didn’t see it at all. I had high hopes for this especially after the delight it was to hear the excerpt from NPR. To my friends I told about this book: sorry, I owe you one. There were shining moments of delight and times where Gay really hit the nail on the head and I could share in the delight and it brought me to a place where I could pinpoint my own daily delight but honestly those moments were hard to get through because reading this was like slogging through deep mud. It didn’t really make it worth reading. I feel bad about giving someone else’s delight a bad rating, but this was not delightful for the most part. Perhaps I would’ve enjoyed the audiobook more? Or maybe I shoulda just left it at the NPR podcast and the sweet soothing presence that is Ira Glass (delight).

[Miri · Rating 5 out of 5]

i finished this book when it was sunny outside & it made me feel a lot more joyous and grateful towards the world. i'm inspired to devote more time to notice everyday delights in my path because of this lovely book!!

[alsopato]

made me start journaling and realize how much beauty i've constantly overlooked. inspiring sentiment and super grateful for it, feel like i found this at the perfect time and it's helped me so much so already. earnest, applicable, and pure- a lot of books centering on positivity border on being preachy/self help-y but 'i' statements over 'you' statements make the connections made a lot more natural & voluntary, and i connected to a LOT. :)

[Ann-Marie "Cookie M." · Rating 4 out of 5]

For a year Ross Gay kept track of little things he noticed that sparked moments of joy in him. He called them delights.
You might wonder how many delights a 60-something Caucasian woman in Texas can share with a 40-something Black man in Indiana. You would be surprised.
And, now I am that much more aware of the little things I see every day that bring a smile to my face. You go, lone goat on a bluff in southwestern Wisconsin. Don't know what you were doing there, but you were a delight.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the concept but didn't like the writing style. I don't do well with poetry or stream of consciousness writing. I would start to read an essayette and get lost within the very long sentences. It reminded me of the Family Circus Sunday comics where the kid takes the longest route from point A to point B. If I hadn't have been reading this for book group, I wouldn't have finished it.

[Kate Savage · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like one day I'm going to be watching (with delight) a possum eating trash or something and I'll look over and Ross Gay will be watching too, and I'll recognize him by the power of his delight (which will be more exuberant than mine, with sparklers or jazz hands or something), and I'll say: Ross, thanks. Thanks for knowing how to love ... all this.

[oumaima · Rating 5 out of 5]

as the title warns you, thoroughly delightful. carried me through warm tea and warm dinner and made me smile endlessly and write down minute details in my own tiny book of delights.

[Kristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF-Love the premise, but wouldn’t recommend.

I couldn’t get through his stream-of-consciousness writing style, which is kind of his whole point. He writes an essay a day about a small delight he finds in his life, but it is written exactly as his thoughts spill out, full of run-on sentences and parenthetical asides which make it harder than it should be on the reader to follow. Also, I didn’t care for the content, the topics of delight he chose to focus on. Almost nothing I can relate to, but not presented in a way to teach me about his life. The whole thing made me feel like an outsider instead of inviting me in to his world.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a delightful book. It's politically engaged, and yet it refuses to be cynical. It's funny, sexy, unabashedly joyful and it inspired me to start my own catalogue of delights. And perhaps just as importantly, Ross Gay has found more ways to talk about the physical feeling of joy than I though possible (some of my favorite: "All the herons in my chest whacking unrepentantly into the sky" and "My heart cooing like a pigeon nestled on a windowsill where the spikes rusted off.")

[s. · Rating 4 out of 5]

“14. joy is such human madness”, “19. the irrepressible: gratitudes”, “24. umbrella in the café”, “37. to spread the sweetness of love”, “40. giving my body to the cause”, “41. among the rewards of my sloth”, “51. understory”, “64. fishing an eyelash”, “87. loitering”, “88. touched”, “100. grown”, and finally “102. my birthday” <3

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful book of delights.

[ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

!!! my new favorite book !!! i loved this book so much i hugged it 💕

[Ana WJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

thoughts on the TUBE later today