Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “How She Died, How I Lived” as Want to Read:
How She Died, How I Lived
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

How She Died, How I Lived

3.59  ·  Rating details ·  2,088 ratings  ·  297 reviews
I was one of five. The five girls Kyle texted that day. The girls it could have been. Only Jamie--beautiful, saintly Jamie--was kind enough to respond. And it got her killed.

On the eve of Kyle's sentencing a year after Jamie's death, all the other "chosen ones" are coping in various ways. But our tenacious narrator is full of anger, stuck somewhere between the horrifying p
ebook, 416 pages
Published November 13th 2018 by Little, Brown
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about How She Died, How I Lived, please sign up.
Popular Answered Questions
Jersey People call her the teenage girl or most-said, Narrator. But the author didn't give the girl a name.…morePeople call her the teenage girl or most-said, Narrator. But the author didn't give the girl a name.(less)

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 3.59  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,088 ratings  ·  297 reviews

More filters
Sort order
Start your review of How She Died, How I Lived
alana ♡
Dec 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
Never in my life have a reached out to an author after finishing a book until now. That's how powerful I felt this story was and I am so incredibly grateful to have been given the opportunity to read this.

Our narrator struggles throughout the entire story with why she got to live and Jamie had to die. When the murder trial re-opens one year after Jamie's death to determine if her murderer, Kyle, should receive the death penalty, the MC then starts to struggle with coming face to face with the ma
Kayla Brunson
"I want to be alive. And to be okay with being alive."

I went into this book expecting to come out an emotional wreck. Sadly, that wasn't my outcome. In short, this book lacked the dept that I was expecting and was really formed as just another contemporary. 

Now, I'm not saying that it's a bad book. This covers topics from survivor's guilt, moving on, and being true to yourself. I feel like we could have really dived more deeply into those emotions, but the writing wasn't there. 

"I don't even kno
PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jan 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wow, just wow... this one will stay with me
Jul 01, 2019 rated it it was ok
“I am many things, but loveable isn't one of them.”

How She Died, How I Lived was very underwhelming and incredibly boring!! Really this book just fell short and I struggled to get through it. Not much of anything exciting happens either. I don't recommend :(

DNF at 48%

It's interesting but also tediously boring.
Nov 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I received an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.
I really, really enjoyed “How She Died, How I Lived,” much more than I was anticipating. I was expecting it to be a bit of a thriller, definitely on the darker side, but I was pleasantly surprised by the variety of emotion in this book. We follow our main character (who remains mysteriously unnamed) as she deals with survivor’s guilt. She and four other girls were texted by a boy named Kyle. Only one replied—and she was raped and m
Sian Clark
Jul 26, 2019 rated it it was ok
In summary, this was an average story told from the shallow perspective of an annoying narrator surrounded by watered down characters.
It could have been great. But instead it took the potential it had to be a deep and meaningful story that dealt with a serious subject matter and wasted it by being just another basic teen drama plagued with pointless friendship drama, cringe romance and a love triangle. Plagued with often contradictory 'feminist statements' and unbearable (not to mention stupid
Jun 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
This was good
It was very different from what I was expecting while buying it, but I did enjoy reading it
I thought it was going to be suspenseful, maybe even kind of scary, like a thriller because when you read the summary it seems that way
It was not, however, like a thriller.
Although it was different from what I thought and hoped it would be, it was still a good book
This is hard to review...I feel bad giving 5 stars to a book about a teenage girl being murdered.
I just feel that it was written so well. It's told from the perspective of another teenage girl and her struggle with survivor's guilt.
When murder is committed, the age of the victim doesn't matter, it's still horrible. I think when it happens to a teenager, it's worse for the friends (and family) of the victim. Teenagers feel so invincible, they're at the high point of their lives and murder/viole
Feb 28, 2019 rated it did not like it
I don't even remember placing a hold on this book but here I am. This was the in-between book as I read Thunderhead (which I'm LOVING... can't say the same about this one) I just read the synopsis and I was intrigued and thought it would be amazing. However, this was NOT good at all. After I finished reading, I searched the genre and of course, it was contemporary.

It's supposed to be about the murder of Jamie, who was one of the five girls that Kyle texted and was the only one to reply. Which i
Karen Barber
Aug 14, 2019 rated it really liked it
The kind of scenario that you pray nobody will ever experience.
Our narrator is what many of us would regard as lucky. She was one of five girls to receive a text from Kyle that summer day. The day one girl, Jamie, responded and he raped her, attacked her and killed her. Each of the girls who received a text has to live with the knowledge that it could have been them.
I can’t begin to think about how that would feel. You’d feel relief at living, but also fear of what could have been and the guilt
May 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
Is it weird to read a book and never know the name of the narrator?

And yet her voice was distinct, vulnerable, confused, angry, and questioning why she lived while her friend — sweet Jamie Strand — died at the hands of a former classmate.

A year later the narrator still battles survivor’s guilt as she befriends Jamie’s boyfriend. Adding to her guilt is the attraction to Charlie, who surprisingly returns the affection.

Out of all of this tragedy, the narrator finds hope and forgiveness while letti
Dec 27, 2019 added it
Is it possible to give a book zero stars? This one deserves it. The best thing about it was when it ended.
A solid 3 star read. This is the story of dealing with survivor’s guilt and reconciling anger and forgiveness. I like that it explores both options and that the narrator remains unnamed - this story could be any of ours.
Caroline C
Jan 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Crystal Zavala
First, let me say that I should have checked to see who the target audience was before I started this book. The book cover says 14+, so I am going to take that to mean that it is considered to be YA. After reading the book, I would definitely agree that it is written for a high schooler. The topics are probably a little too heavy for a middle reader. Because I didn't realize that the book was written for 14-18 year olds, I initially struggled with the simplicity of the writing. However, if I had ...more
Paige Green
Sep 12, 2018 rated it liked it
Disclaimer: I received this book from KidLitExchange. Thanks! All opinions are my own.

Rating: 3/5

Publication Date: November 13th, 2018

Genre: YA Contemporary

Recommended Age: 15+ (survivor’s guilt, tragedy, regret, grief, mature scenes, romance) (trigger warning for rape and murder)

Pages: 416

Author Website

Amazon Link

Synopsis: I was one of five. The five girls Kyle texted that day. The girls it could have been. Only Jamie--beautiful, saintly Jamie--was kind enough to respond. And it got her killed.
Jun 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wow!! This book was such a page-turner. I loved how it was written and found the style to be quite effective.
My only wish is that it could’ve gone into the reasoning why the horrible event spurring this story occurred, but I 100% understand that that wasn’t the point of the book. It was a book about learning to be okay with living in the aftermath of tragedy, and I think that the book did just that in telling this story. Beyond glad I read it!!
Sep 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Read this review on my blog!

I have got so many things to say about this book, and I'm going to try and organize them in my mind to make a mostly coherent review.

1. The Narrator—let me start out with a quick note about our narrator. Mary Crockett did something I've never seen in a book before, and she left our narrator anonymous. Nameless. I barely noticed it while I was reading, but when I sat down and thought about it, it actually makes so much sense. A big part of this book is our narrator won

Katie Thomas
Apr 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
Honestly, wow. I can't tell you how much I loved this book. I've always been intrigued with murders and the gruesome gory stuff, so when I found this book I was immediately interested, but what won me and made me so excited about reading the book was the romance between Charlie (the boyfriend of the girl who was killed) and the main character (a girl the killer almost killed). I loved how the story was told. Texts were included which made you feel like you had insight on the characters lives and ...more
Lily C.
Jun 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
I chose this book because Ms. Hughes had read it earlier this year, and the short description she gave intrigued me. I'm a sucker for teen novels, especially those serious ding scandal or death, and this book seemed like the perfect mix of the two. I think the reason I'm so drawn to books written from a teen perspective is that I myself am a teenager, and hearing a voice so like my own tell a story so much more interesting than my life is like hearing some crazy gossip from a friend, and I love ...more
Stephanie Ward
'How She Died, How I Lived' is a very relevant and heartbreaking young adult contemporary novel that deals with several important topics and real life scenarios. I know that there's supposed to be a silver lining in this book, a sense of hope that filters through. But for me, this book was just incredibly sad and thought provoking. The topics that it covers - survivor's guilt, death, hate, love, forgiveness, moving on, being true to yourself (to name just a few) are really serious and incredibly ...more
Melanie  Brinkman
It could have been me.

I was one of five. The five girls it could have been. Only Jamie was kind enough to respond and it got her killed.

A year after Jamie's death, our narrator is full of anger, stuck between a horrifying past and the unknown future, struggling to piece together why she was chosen to live. Now she finds herself drawn to Charlie, Jamie's boyfriend. As they grow closer, various demons pop-up, haunting their relationship. Can they cope with the why and why-nots , or are they destin
Dec 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Mary Crockett's novel "How She Died, How I Lived" resonated deep in my bones in a number of ways. At first glance, the book tackles an unfortunately real scenario that we are forced to encounter and endure; the violence that women are subjected to, often merely for being women, is grossly and painstakingly true. The contents of this novel did so much more than rely on the controversially relevant subject matter to propel itself forward—this comes from an artfully mastered control of technicality ...more
Sep 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2018
***I received a free eArc from Edelweiss***

Although the hook is what caught me- 5 local girls are sent a text that only one of them answers, and when she meets with the boy they all know, she is brutally beaten, raped, and murdered- I stayed for the MC's grief and sense of being outside her old life.

A year later and our main character, un-named, is dealing with survivor's guilt, her world once more rocked by the killer's upcoming sentencing. She's also starting to fall for the dead girl's boyfr
Thanks to @kidlitexchange network for the free review copy of this book--all opinions are my own

The unnamed narrator is one of five girls that Kyle texted the day he murdered Jamie. Kyle senselessly and brutally murdered one of his classmates at random and now his sentencing is coming up. The narrator can't forget how easily she could have been the one who was killed that day. This book is about many things--grief, regret, justice, and new beginnings. It tackles survivor's guilt and how overcome
Sue (BeautyBookCorner)
1.5 Stars -- I felt like the author had some great intentions with the message she wanted to convey, but personally, I felt the execution failed miserably. There were small snippets where we get hit in the face with how prevalent rape culture and sexually predatory behavior is in our society and how this culture leads to violence against women. I applaud the author for feeling so convicted by seeing news of violence against young women to write this story.

However, the book fell very short for m
Aimee Perry
Jan 28, 2020 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Readers also enjoyed

  • The Last to Die
  • If He Had Been with Me
  • That's Not What Happened
  • Want to Go Private?
  • This Lie Will Kill You
  • That Night
  • This Is Where It Ends
  • De Academie
  • A Danger to Herself and Others
  • As Many Nows as I Can Get
  • The Lost
  • The Cheerleaders
  • The Twin
  • Hate List
  • After the Fire
  • Girl in Pieces
  • Any Second
  • The Waning Age
See similar books…
Mary Crockett is an award-winning poet and author of the novel HOW SHE DIED, HOW I LIVED. A native of the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, Mary grew up as the youngest of six children in a family of misfits. She has worked as everything from a history museum director to a toilet seat hand model. In her other life, she teaches creative writing at Roanoke College in Virginia. If you tweet at her, chan ...more

Related Articles

We asked Alice Bolin, author of Dead Girls: Essays on Surviving an American Obsession, and journalist-turned-crime novelist Laura...
100 likes · 49 comments
“I am many things, but loveable isn't one of them.” 3 likes
More quotes…