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Why Social Media is Ruining Your Life

Katherine Ormerod

3.57 · Rating details · 451 ratings · 48 reviews

Katherine Ormerod, journalist and social media mogul, is here to burst the Instagram bubble and discuss the real effects of social media 'perfection'.

The internet has set destructive standards of flawlessness and comparison. We're working so hard to live up to these new benchmarks that we're burning ourselves out, and we're working so hard to maintain them that we're self ...more

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Hardcover, 256 pages

Published October 16th 2018 by Cassell

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Jul 28, 2019 Nenia ⚔️ Queen of Villainy ⚔️ Campbell rated it really liked it

Shelves: les-arcs-de-triomphes, nonfiction

Instagram || Twitter || Facebook || Amazon || Pinterest

Click-bait title aside, social media is becoming a huge dependency for some individuals. In a society where many of us are feeling increasingly isolated and despairing, living your life through a screen and celebrating conspicuous consumerism act as a balm for both loneliness and personal inadequacy. It's chillingly reminiscent of the soma used in Aldous Huxley's BRAVE NEW WORLD, which kept the oppressed population subdued and pacific. ...more

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Jul 09, 2019 Chelsea rated it it was ok

Wasn't personally for me, I think it was more meant for those who actively post on social media and compare their lives and looks to others through it. That's not really where my issue with social media is. For me the issue is more the whole data situation, manipulation tactics, and behavioural addiction.

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Nov 26, 2018 Kirsty rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: inspiring, non-fiction

Sure, it has a clickbait-y title, but get past that and Katherine Ormerod is just as ambivalent about social media as the rest of us. We want the good parts of it but not the bad, and we don't want to accept that we can't pick and choose (she says, on Goodreads, which is social media). I learned a lot from this, and realised that there's still a lot for me to understand.

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Feb 10, 2019 Hollie rated it liked it

Really enjoyable overall and appreciated the various topics that Katherine touched on.

One quote has really stood out to me from this and has left me pondering:
"Maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to leave our distructive habits behind and enjoy social media for what it is: the best 1 percent of our lives, with the real stuff, the other 99 per cent, hidden for only our real friends to discover."

What if that was the case?!

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Dec 27, 2018 Charlotte rated it liked it

3.5 stars - great topic presented in a well structured and well researched way. Working in social media (and being a keen reader on the topic!) means that a lot of this was “old news” for me, but enjoyable nonetheless. Would definitely recommend to people who want more insight into the impact of social media in the current world.

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Dec 15, 2018 Marie rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: media

"The six key components of addiction: salience (how deeply ingrained is your smartphone in your life), tolerance (are you checking your accounts endlessly?), euphoria (the excitement you get before or after you use your cell phone), conflict(is your phone causing trouble in your life or relationships?), withdrawal symptoms (do you opanic when separated from your phone?), and relapse (have you tried to cut back and failed?)"

"Data confirmed by Apple indicates that the average user unlocks their ph "The six key components of addiction: salience (how deeply ingrained is your smartphone in your life), tolerance (are you checking your accounts endlessly?), euphoria (the excitement you get before or after you use your cell phone), conflict(is your phone causing trouble in your life or relationships?), withdrawal symptoms (do you opanic when separated from your phone?), and relapse (have you tried to cut back and failed?)"

"Data confirmed by Apple indicates that the average user unlocks their phone every 11 minutes, 15 seconds."

"A 2015 poll found that 89 percent of Americans admitted they took out a phone at their last cossocial encounter and 82 percent said that they felt the conversation deteriorated after they did so."

"Viewing likes underneath a picture they had posted activated the same brain signal;s as eating chocolate or winning money."

"According to a 2017 CareerBuilder survey, 70 percent of employers use social media to screen candidates before hiring, and three in ten HR departments have a member of staff dedicated solely to social recruiting."

"Over social media's lifetien in the UK there's been a rise in self poisoning by girls of 50 percent, an increase in hospital admissions for self-harm among girls by 68 percent, and a 400 percent increase in girls being treated in hospital of cutting themselves."

"In the US suicide rates have been back on the rise since 2010, after two decades of decline."

"A San Diego States University study shows the increase of young people taking their own lives directly mirrors the surge in social media use, pointing to a correlation."

"According to a Gallup Poll, 40 percent of Americans get less than 6 hours of sleep each night."

"A survey of American Millennials by One Poll found that 65 percent don't feel comfortable engaging with someone face to face, and 80 percent prefer conversing digitally."

"The more often your partner uses his or her phone in your presence, the higher the level of conflict in your relationship."

"Be aware that your data is a commodity." ...more

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Feb 07, 2019 Holly Pigache rated it did not like it

This book was chosen for book club and I found it very basic. It was everything we already read about online and hear about in the news, but with some research and tonnes of personal experience thrown in. What a shame.

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Aug 06, 2019 Anna Cano rated it liked it

I expected more depth regarding the use normal people make of social media; I found it to be too influencer-focused. However, I very much enjoyed the chapter about motherhood and the way research is presented.

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Dec 27, 2019 Ietrio rated it did not like it

Shelves: junk

Fear the new. Fear anything as long as Ormerod is getting his pay check.

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Nov 06, 2018 What Niki Reads rated it liked it

Shelves: read-as-audiobook, 2018

I nodded along a lot while listening to the audiobook for this book. I think generally it is structured really well and addresses the most relevant topics in an overall balanced way. It gives you a decent overview of how social media developed over time and Katherine is a good narrator. This book isn’t trying to catastrophise social media (which I appreciate) and tell you to quit it entirely but it is inviting you to be more aware of how and how often we rely on social media and to not be a pass ...more

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Jul 12, 2019 sæfaɪɚ rated it really liked it

Shelves: social-media

This book felt like... a cup of coffee with a friend who, despite having utterly different lifestyles, I am totally vibing with. She broke things down beautifully, by chapter:

1. Social media is ruining your identity.
2. Social media is ruining your body image.
3. Social media is ruining your health.
4. Social media is ruining your relationships.
5. Social media is ruining motherhood.
6. Social media is ruining your career & money.
7. Social media is ruining your politics.
8. Social media is changing This book felt like... a cup of coffee with a friend who, despite having utterly different lifestyles, I am totally vibing with. She broke things down beautifully, by chapter:

1. Social media is ruining your identity.
2. Social media is ruining your body image.
3. Social media is ruining your health.
4. Social media is ruining your relationships.
5. Social media is ruining motherhood.
6. Social media is ruining your career & money.
7. Social media is ruining your politics.
8. Social media is changing your future.

THIS is thee book I actually wanted when I picked up Lanier's famous social media book and found myself utterly disappointed. It was well-written, like a piece of journalism. It felt like she was pulling thoughts that had been swimming about in my mind, putting them together. It felt like a devastating argument to social media, with some of her personal life interwoven.

And truly, so many things I've pondered found their way into this book. Too many things to note. How we ruin our ability to evaluate our daily life/career/financial situation/whatever when presented with 1000 "perfect" lives to scroll through (a thought I've had myself many times). That those trips people post don't actually happen that often/your frequency of travel is fine. Social media and focus. The weird new thing that is momstagram culture (her breakdown of that was really interesting!). Politics and feminism on the Internet. It meandered through so many issues. The section on future concerns was bizarre and thought-provoking. She touched on almost everything, really.

I hate that I have little else to say, short of copying and pasting in the whole book. It's really well-written and a book I'd love to own and refer back to. I can't summarize it and do it any justice. I truly LOVED reading it.

That said: the reason I'm taking a star down is credibility. By which I mean, her own unapologetic social media usage (to which she hinted in her book's conclusion). I get it, her job necessitates it more than the average person's job does. But it's still pretty off-putting. It reinforces the idea that no one could do 100% without social, if even THIS person doesn't follow through. And... I feel awkward referencing this, but I can't see anything about her IG that doesn't look like every other influencer IG. I don't like to feel like I'm judging her, it feels... gross. She's a woman, trying to live in a world that is saturated in social media, and how she survives it is not what I want to critique... I don't want to critique individual women on a micro level. But just... the lack of acknowledgement of her social media usage, in a book with this strong of a title, really ruins her credibility. And it really makes quitting look unattainable--so unreasonable, she wouldn't even mention it as something she's tried or considered. Sure, "Social media is ruining your life... but we can fix that!" isn't a very pithy title, but that's kind of what the reader is left with, in the end.

And it's frustrating, because this book is solidly the best argument against social media for women I've ever read, and I want it to be at least as popular as Lanier's weird ramblings. But it just lacks conviction and follow. She doesn't even seem to have an intention of quitting/cutting down! Even though she uses a word as strong as "ruining." At least Lanier had follow-through (although he never had to QUIT anything, and his lack of usage didn't start out as a conviction, so it is different). Anyway, I would really have appreciated her including something about how abstaining from social media will NOT ruin your life. Something about her trying to reduce her hours spent scrolling. Something about admitting that her own usage is ruining HER life in some way too, not just the reader's usage. Up until the end of the book, you'd mostly think she had gotten off social media at some point prior to publication, that everything she writes about is from memory. It makes the book feel weird when you realize it just isn't the case.

Anyway. tl;dr: Definitely 5/5 for content, amazing & thought provoking book, one I'd refer back to if I could! But -1 star for lack of credibility/not taking her argument to its logical conclusion. ...more

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Jul 18, 2019 Megan Dickson rated it it was amazing

Informative, balanced and well researched as well as interesting to read. Ormerod brings her own experiences and observation into the narrative to engage readers and personalise the book. Could not recommend enough.

The book is filled with some eye-opening insights into our concerning reality that is increasing dominated by social media and also ends by exploring some worrying predictions for how our lives will continue to be affected by this in the future. This book injects fierce debate with al ...more

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Mar 01, 2019 Kitten Kisser rated it it was amazing

This book is from a UK feminists point of view. She presents a very real & relatable reality for how social media is affecting women's lives, from birth to death.

She breaks down how social media affects our identity, body image, health, relationships, motherhood, career & money, and politics. Deep down I think a lot of us already know these things to be true, but having someone spell it out & even provide data proving it, is pretty eye opening.

Women make up the majority on social media. I alwa This book is from a UK feminists point of view. She presents a very real & relatable reality for how social media is affecting women's lives, from birth to death.

She breaks down how social media affects our identity, body image, health, relationships, motherhood, career & money, and politics. Deep down I think a lot of us already know these things to be true, but having someone spell it out & even provide data proving it, is pretty eye opening.

Women make up the majority on social media. I always thought it was pretty equal when I think of how folks from both sexes & all age groups are glued to their phones, but the data says otherwise (not that males are off the hook!).

A few tidbits from the book:
The average person has eight social media accounts. People are addicted to their phones. The typical mobile phone user touches their phone 2,617 times a day. Apple indicates that the average user with Touch ID unlocks their phone every 11 minutes, 15 seconds. Fifty three percent of millennial's would rather lose their sense of smell than lose access to their phone or PC. The brains of teens activated the same signals as eating chocolate or winning money when a picture they posted received likes.

While I do not fall into the category of a heavy user - I only have one social media account, & *gasp* I don't have a smart phone (but I have a iPod so it's nearly the same thing IMO). I log on mostly for my business. I am online regularly, but not on social media. I don't know why FB hasn't managed to get me addicted, but I'm glad I'm free of the pull.

I'd like to add an example of my own to this book regarding 'How Social Media Is Ruining Your Life'. My Mother. She has a smart phone. She has Facebook. She wants me to be on FB messaging, posting, etc. I told her I don't feel comfortable with FB. I explained I don't feel it's safe, I don't like so much personal stuff being posted, etc. She then asked me how she was supposed to stay in touch with me. I told her she can email me or call me. She said she doesn't know how to email me & said she didn't want to talk to me on the phone. That's right, my own Mother doesn't want to actually hear her only daughters voice! We actually got in a fight over it! OMG, I hate social media.... But but but.... it has it's good sides too. I have no plans to close my account, but you will not find me posting about every second of my life & if you want to "see" me, then you'd better meet up with me in person. I'm not posting any photos either. So, I'm not the norm. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing.

Overall, I think this book is great. Lots of little tidbits to share with others that might even lead to real healthy discussion. The author doesn't say we need to quit, we just need to be responsible & aware. ...more

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Dec 04, 2018 Meneesha Govender rated it liked it

I spend a huge amount of time on social media … for myself as well as the numerous clients I work for. There is no real cut off for me. The first thing I reach for when I open my eyes in the morning is my cellphone. The last thing I look at before I fall asleep is my Instagram feed. So, when this book landed on my desk I was a bit apprehensive. Could I be ruining my life?
Why Social Media is Ruining Your Life tackles the endless, unforgiving culture of comparison and perfection that we pursue onl I spend a huge amount of time on social media … for myself as well as the numerous clients I work for. There is no real cut off for me. The first thing I reach for when I open my eyes in the morning is my cellphone. The last thing I look at before I fall asleep is my Instagram feed. So, when this book landed on my desk I was a bit apprehensive. Could I be ruining my life?
Why Social Media is Ruining Your Life tackles the endless, unforgiving culture of comparison and perfection that we pursue online as we are at pains to shine in a sea of “sparkly diamonds”. Katherine Ormerod speaks to academics, doctors and psychologists as she tries to unpack the complex relationship we have with social media. It’s her contention that if we continue using social media as we do we will cause permanent damage. Our behavioural patterns will change, Shorter attention spans and depleted confidence – life will never be the same.
While there are no definitive answers, because our relationship with social media really depends on our individual personalities, Ormerod does offer insight into the phenomenon. Ormerod has a background in journalism and is also a social media influencer herself. In this book, she offers us a comprehensive and well-researched analysis of how we engage in a phenomenon she understands well. At the same time, she offers tools and methods to help us consume and engage with social media in a healthy way.
Social media need not be destructive. It need not make us anxious or unhappy. If we feel this way, we should take a step back and interrogate our engagement with it. Once we acknowledge the inherent shortcomings of social media and begin enjoying it for what it really is, it will become a fun and authentic experience. And this can only be a good thing.
And if you’re still struggling with the challenges of social media, take a look at Ormerod’s fantastic platform worworkwork.co – “an anti-perfectionism project which aims to reveal and explore the non-edited challenges that women face behind the fantasy of social media”. Empower yourself. Embrace imperfection. Perfection is not real. ...more

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Jul 11, 2019 Rosie Aylard rated it really liked it

Despite the slight clickbait-esque nature of the title, this book provides an excellent insight into the true impact of social media on modern life. It’s packed full of statistics and studies, interwoven with Ormerod’s personal experiences and testimonies from real-life ‘influencers’. The book is structured into chapters analysing different areas of our lives that are affected by social media - ie Why Social Media is Ruining Your identity/health/career etc. At the end of each chapter, Ormerod su ...more

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Aug 01, 2019 Sharon rated it it was amazing

This is a well laid out book that covers a lot of information and how it generally effects the regular person on a day to day basis. Social media has become a huge part of our lives and unfortunately, it’s quite often having a negative impact on us rather than a positive one. Instead of looking at our local community and comparing ourselves or judging ourselves on who we live near we are now able to do the same thing but with a lot more people all over the world. It’s definitely a book that make ...more

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Jan 20, 2019 Becky Slingsby rated it really liked it · review of another edition

A must read for all ‘social media addicts’ aka all millennials and Gen-Z on the downsides of social media, and how it affects all elements of life from health, to work, to relationships and body image. Each chapter tackles a different element, and although I was aware of the negatives of social media, some of the stats and data in the book really open your eyes. Whilst it can be a bit of a negative read, it gets the point across. The key takeaway? What you see on social media is not real life, a ...more

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May 12, 2019 Jordan rated it liked it

The title of this book is pretty jarring and almost kept me away, but the content within the pages is well-researched and the author makes a lot of good points.

I did find her to be a bit self-indulgent in some of the chapters and I found that much of her personal experiences weren’t tied directly to the research claims she curated. I also am a bit skeptical of her current social media presence, which is very active and goes against much of what she advocates for in her own work.

The best part o ...more

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Jul 26, 2020 Sinead rated it liked it

I didn’t learn anything new from this book, though it was a good summation of the downsides of social media. I also felt it was tailored more for influencers that were feeling burn out from alway being online, rather than regular consumers of social media. I would have preferred more actionable ideas / strategies of how exactly to cut down my social media consumption. But I guess because the author uses social media for her business, the goal of the book isn’t abandonment of social media.

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Jan 08, 2019 Hannah Bee rated it really liked it

I have to say I enjoyed this far more than I thought I would. Written by someone I personally follow on social media I wondered if it would be self indulgent or two-dimensional but it’s anything but. Well-researches and intelligently written, a great read for those of us who use and consume social media which nowadays is pretty much all of us!

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Nov 01, 2019 Kim Childress rated it it was amazing

Must read! Reading now, absolutely excellent, a subject of great importance. Social media = good and bad. New norms mean kids must learn pros and cons as young as first viewing of TV, games, etc. I work in media, highly recommend. #AdultInterest #SocialMedia #ProsAndCons #MustRead #Parenting #Educators #WhySocialMediaIsRuiningYourLife #KatherineOrmerod #OctopusBooks #HatchetteBookGroup #Sept2018

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Apr 13, 2020 Naomi Spratt rated it really liked it

Very interesting read. There's so much psychology involved in the whole social media circus. Who knew that people are actually taking selfies in Ikea bedroom set-ups and pretending that it's their home?! Bizarre. Definitely makes you think twice about your online behaviour. I'd already changed my behaviour prior to reading this book and I'm glad about that!

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May 29, 2020 Amalinaab rated it really liked it · review of another edition

It’s a wonder how so often we’re blind to what’s in front of us. We follow the crowds simply because everyone is doing it. Of course, we can only learn AFTER it has happened. So here’s all of it in a form of a book. Your awareness on how social media infiltrate our lives will heightened as you read through every pages. Get ready for a detox 💆🏻‍♂️

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Dec 02, 2018 Hannah rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Although very interesting I found it a bit difficult to read with motivation. I did download the audio book and found it much more enjoyable to hear the facts and figures along the way making it much more digestible

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May 12, 2019 أفضال rated it liked it · review of another edition

This book was interesting and an eye-opening.
I liked how the author includes solutions ( the key takeaway) at the end of each chapter and enjoyed reading her personal experiences.
Dislike: too many research, studies, and statistics are mentioned in the book.

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Sep 19, 2019 Amber Richards rated it it was ok

I didn’t actually finished the book which is unlike me to do. I found I was really struggling to get through it and it felt as though it was aimed more at “influencers” than normal every day users or social media.

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Oct 04, 2019 Yates Buckley rated it liked it

Shelves: curious

Interesting points but intensely focused on a female reader audience, and even there filtered toward a particular female audience that is heavy user of social media for self documentating, selfies and the like.

I think the title should really be changed to reflect this very specific target reader.

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Dec 20, 2019 Minni rated it it was ok

Dnf at about 30%

I couldn’t relate to this book. I experience social media in a different way than the author so it was a struggle to pick it up and continue reading.
I don’t say it’s a bad book, it just wasn’t for me.

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Oct 22, 2018 Patricia rated it it was amazing

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Oct 29, 2018 Hayden rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-2018

After listening to a really interesting interview with Katherine Omerod on the 'Ctrl Alt Delete' podcast, I immediately walked into town to pick this book up. Contrary to the title, 'Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Life' isn't about completely ditching technology all together. Apparantly it's not that easy in a world that is becoming increasingly reliant on it. But it's about spotting the problems and finding solutions. Some of it is really obvious and information I already knew - like how Snap ...more

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