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384 pages, Paperback
First published March 10, 2020
“I love the way it makes me feel as if the world is in reverse and upside down all at once–like there’s starlight beneath my feet and the ocean above my head, and every impossible dream can come true in a single whisper.”
“Asian people call me ‘too white’ and laugh at me for not knowing enough about Chinese and Japanese culture. And white people only ever see me as Asian, as exotic–different from their version of ‘all American.’ When someone is biracial, it’s suddenly like, ‘no, you don’t get to claim all the things that you are because you’re not Asian enough.”
“I hate Halloween. People get understandably upset about people dressing up like they belong in another culture, but honestly? I’ve felt like that my whole life. Like I’m wearing a costume from someone else’s background. Like I have no real claim to all the different pieces of my family’s heritage.”
Everything is always extreme for me, like when I'm happy, I need to be ultraviolet-elated, and when I'm sad, it's like a vacuum sucking away all the colors in the world and I'm drowning in black.
Like, I'll feel really positive and motivated and whatever else, and then I'll just plummet. Sometimes there's a reason, but sometimes there's not.
You burn fast and bright, and then you burn out.