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Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope

4.14  ·  Rating details ·  592 Ratings  ·  56 Reviews
Leader. Protector. Friend. Lover.

God made you to be each of these…and much more. Stu Weber ’s bestseller, now revised throughout and refreshed with an attractive new look, paints a dramatic and compelling picture of balanced manhood according to God’s vision. Written in a warm, personal style, Weber presents the characteristics of tender warriors—including learning to spe
Paperback, 288 pages
Published April 15th 2006 by Multnomah (first published 1993)
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Sep 04, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Cesar by: Sam
WOW!! I am fired up to become a Tender Warrior. This is one of the most influential pieces of literature I have ever read (not that I have read many books as you can see by my collection here, but just hear me out). Stu Weber has griped my heart and my soul and has given me my VISION my PURPOSE in life. Every great company has a vision or a mission statement and I believe that every Man/Family should have one too in order to be successful. In the words of the apostle Paul, “For to me, to live, i ...more
Chris Giovagnoni
Jan 28, 2012 rated it liked it
Nothing distinguishes this book from the host of other books addressing the question "What does it mean to be a man?" If you've read other books on this subject, you can skip this one. You won't get any additional insight. If you are beginning to grapple with the question, you may find this book worthwhile.
Trudy Pomerantz
May 15, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
An excellent book - in my opinion better than Patrick Morley's "The Man in the Mirror" What is a real man? Looks at Scripture - a real man is a king, warrior, friend. They are to protect (hence boys will play with guns), lead, prepare children for adulthood (be ready to let them go), need for friendship with fellowmen.
Joshua Douglas
Jul 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Worth the Read!

Great book for any man wanting to find out how to live out their God-given purpose. This book shows how the elements of King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend are pivotal in that purpose.
May 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Fantastic book. Worthy of repeat reads!!
Jun 15, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Tender Warrior is about striving to become the king, warrior, mentor, and friend to our wife and children. Men can sometimes get so caught up in trying to work so hard to provide for their families. They don't spend enough time in building and maintaining the role their family needs them to fulfill. A man must have a vision for the future of their family. It's important to share our dreams with our wife and we need to listen to her dreams. Weber believed in keeping his word and promises and pass ...more
Daniel Butcher
Apr 24, 2012 rated it liked it
Stu Weber in Tender Warrior provides a description of Biblical manhood. Weber reinforces what other author’s have also brought forward, there is an absence of real men in our society. He then proceeds to provide a detailed summary of what a real man should be. He discusses the need for men to have both strength and be able to show tenderness to those they love. He explores how a real man interacts with his spouse, providing both provision and understanding. This is followed by an in-depth discus ...more
Apr 19, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Christian men of any age
I honestly think this is one of the most important books a Christian man can read. Absolutely appropriate from about 19 yrs old onward through adulthood, fatherhood, husbandhood...

Whenever I describe this book, I tend to draw the obvious comparison to Wild At Heart, and it basically goes like this: Wild At Heart was kind of a pep rally--it got Christian men excited about serving the Lord and their families again, which was important in a time where the church (not to mention society) has essenti
Audrey Grant
Nov 24, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own
This book is written so well. It is written by a man to men. But as a wife and mother, when I read it, I was amazed at how insightful this book is! Stu Weber is right on target when he describes how a man needs to be strong while remaining loving toward his family! A leader and protector and yet a heart of gold! Understanding and there for his family without being a push-over!
My husband, brother and brother-in-laws all now own a copy! This book is a must for every Christian man in my personal op
Jun 01, 2012 rated it really liked it
WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group sent me a complimentary copy of this book for my review. When you hear the words “tender” and “warrior” together, it paints an interesting picture. How can a warrior truly be a warrior and be tender? Stu Weber’s 1993 (published again in 1999) book Tender Warrior seeks to inform the reader what it means to be a real man. In a society where it is the norm for children to not know their father, Weber is one who challenges the male population to stand up and be ...more
Tony Cavicchi
In a conversational tone, Stu Weber walks through what he characterizes as the four roles of a man: "King" with qualities of order, mercy, and justice, "Warrior" who defends and guards based on foresight and moral principle, "Mentor" who teaches life to others by example, and "Friend" who with others deeply. As a millenial, I felt some examples were dated (book originally published in 1993) but you understand Stu as a man by the end of the book (also how he was shaped in many ways by Army Ranger ...more
Jason Craig
Feb 05, 2011 rated it really liked it
Good book. Actually did this one via audio book from Probably the best break down of a mans responsibilities, I wouldn't read it in isolation though it is light on scripture and leaves gaps that need to be filled in. If you can find the audio sermon "What is a man to do?" by Chip Ingram (Living on the Edge) I would highly recommend it, "The Four P's: Is He Ready to Lead?" by Dr. Voddie Baucham is also a good audio sermon (available from

Great break down of what th
Jeff Roper
Jun 02, 2013 rated it it was ok
I had high hopes for this use it as a read for a men's study group...and it has discussion questions at the end of the chapter...BUT...too fundamentalist in its approach. It elevates archetype and makes it seem a pre-ordained way God created man, then woman as a second rate citizen, from the rib of a man, as the helpmate for her "king." Putting down the role of women in ministry may have been expected in the Old Testament but Jesus in the NT empowered women for ministry, would not reco ...more
Josh L
Oct 09, 2012 rated it really liked it
You can read my full review at Quieted Waters.
Stu Weber wrote this book to paint a picture of men as tender warriors, both strong and sensitive. In Weber’s view, men’s strongest trait is their ability to stand strong in the face of whatever may come, so each chapter traces how a godly man can stand firm in a specific role.

I most appreciated Weber’s chapters on fatherhood and friendship.
Donald James Parker
I read this book because my girl friend suggested it. I loved the title since I've always pondered the paradox of Christian soldiers combined with the love of Jesus. Weber did a wonderful job of explaining the blueprint for a Godly father and husband. Unfortunately I didn't discover this book earlier in life. Hopefully it's not too late to utilize the wisdom I gleaned from it. This is a book that all Christian males should read.
Jun 12, 2008 rated it really liked it
An excellent book with a Christianity base about what it takes to be a real man. So many men have difficult expressing their feelings for fear of appearing weak.

Weber shows how men can "still be men", but also that showing their tender side is not a sign of weakness. There are many pearls of wisdom throughout the book on how to be a friend, a husband and a father. Incorporating scripture throughout the book makes it a great guide for any man..but especially a father to a son.
Gilbert Ross
Nov 27, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you are a young man trying to become a real man or you are just beginning your Christian walk as a man, this is the book for you. This is a very good book to help us aspiring men become better men for God, our families, and our communities. The author goes a little to deep with some storying telling sometimes but gets his point across. This book has biblical references for us to look into which adds to the book value. I suggest this book to all men.
Apr 16, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: religious, favorites
A great book that explains how as men we can be warriors that God intended us to be but at the same time being tender to what God wants us to do. This is on my list to re-read eventually again just because it's that good. I would recommend this book to anyone who is Christian and looking for a good book from a great author.
Justin Nichols
Apr 06, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I highly, highly recommend this book! So much was affirming and confirming for me in how to be a true man of God in my marriage and for our future children, as well as in my friendships. I was extremely blessed by this book. Weber is wise, straightforward, encouraging, and very helpful. I'm gunna have to make my future daughter's fiancé read this during their engagement! lol...
Jan 25, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It only took me 8 years to read it, but it was worth it. If you are looking for scripture-backed guidance through the challenging and exhilirating trials of manhood, then this is the book for you. My only complaint is that book stopped abruptly with the closing chapter seeming hastily added on and disjointed.
Apr 17, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A very good book to give to a young man just starting out in life. It is also good for a man who needs a little direction and instruction about manhood.

I did find it a bit stereotyping however. If you are not a hunter/fisherman/ rough guy type you may find it a bit difficult to relate at times. This shouldn't keep one from reading the book however...
Craig Houston
Oct 16, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Given to me by my mother when I got married. It has been close to 18 years ago, but I remember it being helpful. Stu Weber is a Vietnam Vet and a faithful pastor of Good Shepherd Community Church in Gresham, Oregon.
Jul 19, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent reading for men and women. It gave me a fresh reminder of the great and rather breathtaking role I have as a wife, something that has taken me almost 36 years to appreciate at the depth I now have. The author is a former Green Beret, giving added interest to military families.
Brent Dacrow
Apr 06, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Take this book and your Bible and prepare to grow up. Stop listening to a pornheaded society that wants your money at the price of your self esteem and pick up this book and your Bible and become a man!
Feb 03, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
In some places, the tone gets a little self-helpy for my taste. That said, I still think Weber presents an interesting, Godly perspective on what manhood should look like. The older I get, the more shocked I become at just how far our culture has strayed from the clear, Biblical ideal.
Francis Gahren
Apr 18, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: christian, leadership
How to balance the demands of a man’s life who wants to live out God’s plan for him; how to be a warrior, king, mentor, and friend. Written by a man who was in Army Special Forces in Vietnam, this book has a lot to say about what is really important in a man’s life.
Andrew Canavan
Jan 21, 2013 rated it liked it
Shelves: winter-2013
Apart from some minor features (droppin the "g" off the end of verbs; lacking some nuance in reflecting on gender), this is a good book that is well worth reading as a wake up call or encouragement to be a godly man.
Oct 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Every man (and woman)needs to read this book. He points to Scripture to explain the man/woman relationship and the man/child relationship as it was designed and instilled into the depths of our bodies and souls by our Creator. Absolutely enlightening!
Jun 27, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Stu seems like a guy's guy. He tells great stories and really seems to have down being a guy and loving his wife. The coolest thing was how he describes his children as these arrows that you launch into the world. I'm really not doing it justice.
Nov 15, 2009 added it
Shelves: christianity
Really great book on masculinity from a biblical perspective.

I'm doing a blog/review at -- but I will also re-review it when I read it again (which I plan on doing, for the 3rd time now)
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“The Warrior function is…unmistakable in Scripture…Within the epistles, the mature believing man is often described in militant terms–a warrior equipped to battle mighty enemies and shatter satanic strongholds.

The heart of the Warrior is a protective heart. The Warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards…He invests himself in “the energy of self-disciplined, aggressive action.” By Warrior I do not mean one who loves war or draws sadistic pleasure from fighting or bloodshed. There is a difference between a warrior and a brute. A warrior is a protector…Men stand tallest when they are protecting and defending.”
“Dad, seeing me start to drop back, reached out his hand to me. His eyes said, Grab hold. Let's run together. Still running, my little hand slipped inside his larger one. It was like magic! His power lifted me right off the ground. I took off in his strength. My speed doubled because my dad had hold of me.” 2 likes
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