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Te encontraré. En busca del hombre que me violó

4.11  ·  Rating details ·  1,887 ratings  ·  277 reviews
La periodista Joanna Connors tenía treinta años cuando le encargaron escribir la crítica de una obra de teatro. En aquel lugar fue retenida a punta de cuchillo y violada por un extraño que se había criado a unos diez kilómetros de su casa. Cuando detuvieron y sentenciaron a su agresor, Joanna dejó de hablar de lo que le había pasado. A partir de aquel momento, sin embargo, ...more
Paperback, First, 315 pages
Published January 2018 by Errata Naturae (first published April 5th 2016)
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Average rating 4.11  · 
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 ·  1,887 ratings  ·  277 reviews

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Oct 07, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: netgalley
5 stars for how engaging and moving this memoir was. Given the topic, I was somewhat reluctant to read I Will Find You, but decided I would give it a try. Joanna Connors is a journalist. She was raped in her early 30s while on an assignment. Over 20 years later, she decided she had to tell her near adult children about the rape, and that she also wanted to understand more about what happened to her and her rapist. The title "I Will Find You" has a double meaning. This is what Connors' rapist sai ...more
Apr 26, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, memoirs
This is a difficult book to review because the subject matter is so disturbing.

In July 1984, when Joanna Connors was 30, she was raped at a college campus in Cleveland, Ohio. A newspaper reporter, Connors had gone to the college to meet an interview subject, but instead she ran into a man who held a knife to her throat and assaulted her for about an hour.

The man let her live, making her promise not to tell the police because he didn't want to go back to prison. After escaping, the first person
Connors was a young reporter running late for an assignment for the Cleveland Plain-Dealer (still her employer) when she was raped in an empty theater on the Case Western campus. She had ignored the twinge of alarm she felt when a young guy with an Afro invited her in to see his work on the lighting– not wanting to be that stereotypical white woman afraid of black men – and that was it. By using present-tense narration, Connors makes the events of 1984 feel as if they happened yesterday: a blow- ...more
Feb 02, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Caroline by: Rebecca

It could be the title for a romance or maybe a thriller, but I Will Find You is the title of a memoir about rape, and those four words are significant. They were the last ones Joanna Connors’s rapist said to her before leaving her, bruised and bloodied, in a parking lot.

Connors was a newspaper reporter on an assignment when she was raped by a stranger in a deserted theater in 1984. Her memoir easily could be an angry and self-pitying railing at this man who changed her life on
Marilyn C.
Jul 02, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2016
This memoir was very unsettling to read, and a story that you will definitely lose sleep over.

Joanna Connors was thirty years old when she was brutally raped at knife point, while on assignment for the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Her rapist was arrested the next day and was later convicted of this horrible crime. Joanna will go on to have two children with her husband and grow her career as a reporter. But as the years go on, she realizes she has internalized all of her fear and anxieties. She stat
Ellen Gail
This is it. My rape. I knew it was coming. Every woman knows it, anticipates it, fears it, yet also doesn't believe it will happen to her. And now here it is. My turn.

4.5 stars! Fantastic, heart-wrenching, and spectacularly engaging. I Will Find You is a standout work of nonfiction.

In 1984, Joanna Connors was raped and assaulted in an empty theater on a college campus. For years, she pushed the trauma away and convinced herself that she was over it. He was in jail, what was there to mull ove
May 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Joanna Connors displays more courage on every page than I have in a lifetime of writing.
Oct 06, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The author of this book was raped in 1984. She spent 23 denying and swallowing her pain. This book is her attempt to crawl out of the hole she fell into that horrific night. She discovers that her rapist had died so she finds his family, visits the jail that housed him, and finally his grave. It is not a happy story but it provides a close and harrowing look at rape from many different perspectives.
This was such a haunting and affecting memoir. Joanna Connors' story is so compelling and moving. This one explores the writer's rape by a stranger in the 1980s and the aftermath of that event. The subject matter is definitely disturbing. It's not for everyone. The events that took place are described in detail which may be too much for some readers. After her rape, the author tries to push her feelings about this rape away, to pretend it was over and she was fine. But, it eventually floats up a ...more
Kris - My Novelesque Life
Written by Joanna Connors
April 2016; 272 Pages
Genre: nonfiction, crime, memoir


In 1984, a reviewer for a newspaper, Joanna Connors is raped in empty University theater. Her rapist is caught the next day and is convicted 30-75 years in prison. After her last day in court, Joanna decides to put away the rape incident but it actually takes over her life for the next twenty years. When her college bound daughter is looking at University, she decides to tell her and her son about
This a tough one to rate. I so wanted to give Connors's book four stars. 3.5 is more accurate than 3, though. Before I read it I was hoping for a five star read. Perhaps my expectations were unrealistic to begin with. I'm one of the in five women; I know what rape feels like.

I know what it's like to want to understand why men rape. I keep reading, looking for answers. I sometimes get why someone raised in violence acts out towards others. But why do some people also learn from experience, break
Overall, a tough read. I've read many books on the subject but not any from a first-person perspective until this one. I applaud Connors for the courage it took to confront and discuss her rape and also for the attention she pays to social issues that impacted her rapist (plus seeing how her background also provided her with advantages when prosecuting). I think this book's structure was one its downfalls for me. The second half of the book focuses on lots of family lore and rumors, especially f ...more

This is the most beautiful, moving, important book that I have read in years. It may have struck me this way because it is exactly the book I needed to read at this moment in my life, but even if that is true, it is still a brave, beautiful account of a rape survivor's story -- and her rapist. Although stranger rape is not as common as date-rape or acquaintance-rape, that is what happened to Joanna Connors. The aftermath of her rape - a trial, a conviction, the opportunity to speak wit
Feb 08, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Joanna Connors was a young reporter who got raped in an empty theater when she was 31 years old. From then on, she suffered from PTSD, which wasn't diagnosed 30 years ago; none of the psychiatrists and other therapists she visited realized that it's not just veterans that suffer from PTSD. Connors does an impressive job of recounting what occurred and how she felt without being self-pitying. She has the best description of dissociative disorder that I've ever read. I wished that the author could ...more
Aug 24, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a very educational journey for me as I was expecting it to be, and I shed many tears along the way. This book will really, really get you thinking. I did not agree with some of her compassion she has for criminals and how they are treated in the prison system. I found it remarkable that she could feel compassion for them after what happened to her. However, the stories told of their childhoods and what they endured during their most vulnerable and formative years on this earth really ma ...more
Rowan Fortuin
Jul 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Aug 13, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2017
One of the most horrific books I've ever read. I got through the worst parts when I was awake in the middle of the night, all alone (thanks to jet lag). If the book had stayed ugly, I would have given it up, but much like One of Us, it managed to redeem itself and be more about hope and recovery and the power of good people...but only just. Connors describes her rape in great detail, so if you don't think you can handle that kind of content, don't read this book (or at least don't read that sect ...more
Bonnie Brody
Joanna Connors has written about her rape from an unusual perspective - trying to understand what factors created a rapist and motivated their actions.

Twenty-one years ago Joanna Connors was raped. She worked as a journalist and was doing a story about a theater group. She happened to be running late and walked into an empty building. In the building was a young man who told her that he was working on the lights. She believed him at first but then her gut told her that things were not as they se
D.M. Pulley
Sep 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Ms. Connors made me laugh and cry even in the darkest moments of this true crime story. She made me feel rage and empathy, shame and redemption, helpless and empowered all at once. With excellent writing and deft touch, she shows the truth behind a nightmare in this unflinching look at rape, gender, race, and the criminal justice system. Well done!
What you read on the cover is what you'll get in this book.

In "I Will Tell You," reporter-turned-author Joanna Connors chronicles her story of rape and how she survived the brutal attack while at a university theatre on assignment.

She treats her story like a journalist, tracking down court documents and interviewing members of her rapist's family.

But what I found missing from this book was the story behind the story.

Yes, Connors writes about her overzealous parenting and failed marriage in the
Tamanna Sharma
Feb 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A raw insight into the life of Joanna Connors struggling to go back to normalcy after being raped. She has put her heart out in the first few chapters that will make your heart clench with emotions. Her decision to seek closure on the traumatic incident not only shows her the horrors of the families she interviewed but she also gives you snippets of how deeply biased the laws were and probably still are. Her fear is palpable and her reporting objective; making this book very powerful and hauntin ...more
Apr 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If I could give this book 7 stars I would. An amazing book, the first part delves into both the deep lifelong psychological effects of sexual assault, on both the victim and the people around them. Then we are led on a journey to discover the vicious cycles of violence that propagate down generations, helped along by the social injustice and callous treatment of minorities and the impoverished, that in the end, can make a criminal's path seem almost inevitable.
Rachel León
I received an advance copy of this book and reviewed it for Chicago Review of Books. Here's the link to my review:

Jun 13, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I grew up reading Joanna Connors, and remember when these stories came out in the Plain Dealer, and how compelling they were. I reread them this morning, after finishing the book, which is largely a flushing out of the series she wrote for the newspaper. Connors is largely honest about her experience and her thoughts, though she maintains a survivor's and a reporter's detachment as she investigates and tells her story. I thought the level of emotion was appropriate; after all, it's her experienc ...more
Jul 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
I don't know where to start. Joanna Connors is not only an exceptional writer, but she is an exceptional and courageous woman.

It was at first perplexing that a woman would want to relive and get to know the man who so violently stole so much of her. Connors makes it clear, however, that getting to know your fears is the way to put them to rest. Fear is not something we can delete from our lives; it lives within us forever. The best we can do is come to know our fear -- to humanize it and to befr
Zuzana Kubáň
Jul 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Many wonder what it must be like to be a victim of rape and live with it for the rest of their life. This author goes in detail of precisely that and also does so much more.
She not only explains what it feels like, how it affected her entire life and that of her family, but also touches upon a range of connected issues. For example, she talks about race and racism, the US prison system, domestic violence, etc. She also discusses what are the larger systems and structures that “produce” those tha
Jazzie Jen
Oct 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
...."How far back do you have to go to find the origin story of a monster..."

I do not watch the news or read the papers. I do, however, read memoirs and find them fascinating. I stumbled upon "I Will Find You..." in VT and was instantly intrigued by a woman's courage to write. My partner stated, "I could never read a book like that" and I reckon that is the reaction of many. Or, 'how could you read a book like that?'

I did ponder that and turns out, although I have been fortunate, I couldn't dem
May 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I'm not sure what I was expecting when I decided to read this book but, I was surprised in many ways. This book was enlightening in ways I never anticipated. I so appreciated the author's full discussion of her emotions and reactions to her rape and the affects of her trauma on those in her life and changes brought about in her life that she wasn't aware existed. Also, she started out wanting to learn about her perpetrator and ended up learning so much more. Her discussion of social injustices a ...more
Reixel Soy Yo
Jul 02, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Joanna Connors is a journalist who was raped in 1984, but since that moment she changed her lifestyle and developped a lot of fears, as well as a post traumatic stress disorder.
Joanna, as is frequently between rape victims, wrote and spoke about the facts with no emotions, as if it hadn't happened to her but to another woman. Many years later, after going to a lot of psychologists, she finally decided to tell the truth to her children because she wanted to protect them and to be understood by t
Astrid Lim
A very powerful book about a journalist who tried to investigate the life of her rapist. Joanna Connors can't make peace with the tragedy that has happened to her and she thought the only way to overcome it- and live bravely - is by encountering the monster itself: her rapist. She tried to make sense on why she had to meet with the rapist and why this has happened to her, and despite the result, she learned so much about the journey itself.
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Joanna Connors is an award-winning journalist whose work has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Glamour, and Redbook, amongst others. Her journalism awards include the 2008 Medill Medal for Courage in Journalism from Northwestern University, and Columbia University’s Dart Award for Excellence in Coverage of Trauma for her series of pieces in the Cleveland Plain-Dealer about her ra ...more

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“My mom doesn't say anything. I don't say anything. Neither of us knows yet what you should say when rape victims blame themselves: 'It was not your fault.'

It was not your fault, even if you were drunk, even if you were wearing a low-cut minidress, even if you were out walking alone at night, even if you were on a date with the rapist and kind of liked him but didn't want to have sex with him.”
“These ancient laws also reflected a widespread suspicion that women accusing men of rape were lying--a belief system that is still operative today. Almost every time a star athlete or celebrity is accused of rape, for example, there's an inference that the charge is false, brought by a scorned, or vindictive, or drunk, or willing woman against an innocent man.” 1 likes
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