The Golden Door

by Al Barrera, Jenn Loring (Editor), Jana Heidersdorf (Illustrations)

Dreams and nightmares are two sides of the same coin. After his twin sister kills herself, heroin becomes Aaron's only friend. With the end looming closer, he rediscovers the kingdom they shared as children, the other world hidden in the woods of Tennessee. But something dark has entered the Kingdom, and what might have been childhood fantasy has become horrifyingly real. As he explores the dream two children once shared, Aaron begins a mad journey to save the soul of the kingdom that once saved him. And maybe, to rescue the soul of the sister he couldn't protect in life.

428 pages, Paperback

Published December 22, 2017

About the author

Al Barrera was born in Detroit, Michigan to a police officer and a soldier. Following in the family footsteps, he joined the military. After serving overseas Al moved to Tennessee and took up work in the medical field. Following more time working overseas, Al chose to write novels full time.

"I've wanted to do it since I was a kid. It's been a passion of mine as long as I can remember, and honestly, I can't see myself doing anything else."

Visit www.al-barrera.com to keep up on his blog or to get in contact.

Reviews

[Permanently_Booked]

This is not what I expected when I received the ability to review this novel for an honest opinion. I approached this book with the idea of a Narnia/Wizard of Oz type fantasy world created by children and a death that leads one of them back to save the falling Kingdom and the trapped soul of his sister. The synopsis mentions heroine and that was even more intriguing. However, there comes a point where you realize this is a deeply dark novel with many trigger topics. I must advise that there were not really any trigger warnings posted outside of what is mentioned in the synopsis (drug addiction, suicide).
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Aaron and his twin sister are victims of brutal child abuse. The synopsis indicates his sister commits suicide and Aaron is left with the guilt, looking to heroine to cope. This is all intertwined around the existence of a magical Kingdom created by the twins as children. During one of Aaron’s highs he is revisited by his "most loyal servant" Drippy from the kingdom asking for help.
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From here the reader is taken on a journey through the Kingdom being decimated by an evil force. He begins to believe his sister's soul is trapped in this horrifying Kingdom as well. Scenes descriptively detailing suffering, starvation, emaciation, dismemberment and pain are just a scratch on the surface. Each heroine high brings Aaron closer to finding answers but that isn't all it brings him close too.
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This book has powerful messages pointing out the effects of child abuse and trauma on mental well-being and the forgiveness of self. It can be disturbingly dark at times and has triggers for physical and sexual child abuse, drug addiction, depression and suicide. I did have a hard time keeping interest during the repetitive mental narrations. I think this made the book slightly longer than it needed to be. Aaron constantly dives into self-hate and old memories rehashing scenarios and thoughts more times than necessary. In a sense they are different variations of the same thought on repeat. After a few paragraphs the message is made.
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In the end I did like this book and was genuinely eager to pick up my e-reader and continue. For those of you who can handle dark novels with triggers; I would recommend this novel.

**Thank you to the author and NetGalley for the ability to read and review this novel. **

[Roxie Voorhees]

Well wasn't that a trip down the rabbit hole.

When I came across The Golden Door on Netgalley, and read it was about twins, I knew right away I wanted to read it. I, myself, am a mom of boy/girl twins and I always enjoy stories about other sets.

In this one, Al Barrera pondered, what happens when a twin loses another. Its a story he has thrown around for years and so I read this story with a little bit more care. Largely the plot carries us down the path of one twin's self destruction after the lost of his twin sister. To set this up, the author cemented a childhood of abuse and trauma by the hands of their parents. These scenes are detailed and may be too much for those triggered by said events.

"Betwixt the shadows, lie all that's seen,
all the things that shimmer and gleam.
They stay and wonder for a time,
'Til in the end, all things die"

In the imagination of traumatized children, Aaron and Aimee, created a safe alternate world in the woods. Referred to only as Kingdom, the prince and princess travel there daily but no matter how much they try, they must leave by sundown.

Now 26, ten years have gone since the suicide of his sister. Aaron's addiction is getting worse. Convinced he can travel to Kingdom after shooting up, he takes us on a trippy wave of fantasy and reality. Each time Aaron gets high, he gets closer to the castle and finding out who had blackened Kingdom and save his sister, the princess.

This story tackles grief, loss, addiction, abuse, co-dependency, mental health.

This title is available FREE through Kindle Unlimited.
Thank you Al Barrera and NetGalley for allowing a free electronic copy in exchange for an honest review.

[The Book Gawdess]

I got a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Twins are fascinating. They have a mystical bond which nobody can fully explain. When one dies, the other twin feels as if he / she lost part of himself / herself. How does the surviving twin cope with that agony?

The Golden Door seeks to explore that pain. In this story, Al Barrera tells the story of Aaron Vasilica, half of the Vasilica twins. He and his sister, Aimee, escape the horror of their abusive parents by visiting a magical kingdom they discovered while playing in the woods. In this fantasy world, they are royalty and they are able to forget the pain of the outside world for a while. In the outside world, the only friend they have is Brian, whose mother loves both kids unreservedly. However, the pressures of what is going on in their lives get to be too much for Aimee and she kills herself, leaving Aaron alone. He turns to the White Lady, heroin, as a means of forgetting the mess his life is becoming. Eventually, he revisits the kingdom, hoping to connect with the memories he has of his sister. However, something sinister is now inside there and Aaron starts a quest to save the kingdom and hopefully his sister.

The abuse scenes were extremely intense in this book. I found myself hating their parents for what they were doing to their children. The children’s only happiness came with their grandmother’s visits or visits to Brian’s house. From what I read, I quickly determined that the children had a special gift which their grandmother knew about and kept hinting at. However, to their parents, they were just objects to be abused to help themselves feel better about their failures.

This book was an extremely fascinating read. The author described their kingdom beautifully with their servant, Drippy, being one of the most interesting citizens in the kingdom. What I liked, however, was how Aaron was repelled by Drippy when he revisited the kingdom as an adult. That shows how our perception of the world changes as we grow up.

I remember when I watched the biopic about Ray Charles’ life, I was intrigued by the hallucinations he got whenever he used heroin. They felt so real even through the screen. That is exactly how it felt whenever Aaron injected himself and was transported. I found myself questioning if the events were real or not.

I did have an issue with the flashbacks in the story. They were quite abrupt so I found myself a bit confused as to whether we were still in the present or Aaron was remembering something again. There were also numerous spelling errors. They were a bit irritating.

There were many scenes with drug use and graphic descriptions of Aaron shooting up heroin as well as a very intense sex scene and mention of sexual violence. There was also some profanity and, as I mentioned before, child abuse was described in detail at some points. This is definitely a book for adults, especially those who like fantasy stories. I enjoyed this book and will definitely check out others by him.

[Rachel Drenning]

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC of this book. I have read books by this author before and this one is terrific as is the others. He has become a a new favorite author. I loved this book. Highly recommend.

[Tammy Goodwin]

I love a good story about twins, there's just something spooky about them! And this is set in my favorite place - Tennessee! Aaron is a well developed character and his addiction is easily understood. Great blend of fantasy and reality and often hard to tell what is real. Highly recommend!

Also reviewed on amazon, no link yet.

[Mary]

Oscar Wilde said, "They've promised that dreams can come true but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too." After the sudden death of his twin sister Aaron becomes swallowed in drug addiction and anger. At his low point he is visited again my Mr. Drippy, a friendly but strange figure from his childhood. Aaron doesn't know if he's dreaming, hallucinating or if these visits....and excursions...with Mr. Drippy are real or not. He wakes in his own crummy apartment, but with dirt on his feet and grass between his toes. These events remind Aaron of the Kingdom that he and his twin discovered deep in the forest when they were children. Aaron is consumed with mixed emotions such as the compulsion to return to those woods in hopes of finding his sister (and maybe answers) there, but also fear, guilt, anger and so many dark feelings. Through it all is the wavering between feeling that these encounters with Mr. Drippy are real and that they are the product of a drug addicted mind losing grip on reality.
This is an interesting book that delves into the long term suffering caused by child abuse, grief, hatred, anger and guilt and how important forgiveness is to our own survival. Mr. Drippy is a charmer that speaks in riddles. You're with Aaron all along, not knowing what is real and what is not. I was reminded of another quote I heard once, "What is a nightmare, but simply a dream gone mad?" I was also reminded of Alice In Wonderland, maybe a little bit darker version however. This was a nice change from my usual reads, a bit of harsh reality mixed with fantasy. #netgalley #TheGoldenDoor

[Susan]

Aimee and Aaron are twins living in a dysfunctional home. During there childhood, Aimee leads Aaron to the golden door. When they open the door they go into a world that they hate to leave. As time passes, Aimee commits suicide causing Aaron to take drugs. Something bad has happened in the childhood worLd. Aaron has no idea if it is real or just a dream even though he finds dirt and grass between his toes. Is that world real? What will happen to Aaron?

Beings twins is not an experience in many people’s lives. Losing a twin is explored how the other twin deals with that loss. Due to the abuse done by the parents, this is not a “light” novel to read. There is sex abuse plus more. There is profanity in this story. I think that reading this is a reminder of things that can go wrong not only with children but adults too. It is too often hidden and acted upon as it does not exist. It does. I enjoyed the fantasy world/dream behind the golden door. This is a novel that has much to offer.

Disclaimer: I received an arc of this book from the author/publisher from Netgalley. I wasn’t obligated to write a favorable review or any review at all. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.

[Dana K]

Holy darkness Batman! Not sure I was ready for this one. It is dark and intense and at times terrifying. It was a hard read because there are lots of scenes of domestic violence (both emotional and physical), suicide and drug use. That said, it is intense because it reads as very real. There were many times where I had to stop reading and put it away for a while because it was too intense. I actually expected more fantasy elements when I picked up the book but the balance between what was real and what was fantasy was often hard to distinguish, in a good way. It’s a complex story about facing your demons whether you think you’ll beat them or not. I wasn’t always rooting for Aaron but I was interested in seeing where the story took him.

I received an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Sari Bailey]

I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book contains a lot of triggers and really contained no trigger warning. The Golden Door is about the effects of abuse and neglect on the human psyche.

You can really feel the suffering of the kids in this book. It almost made me angry. You could feel the anger and guilt they felt when they were trying to heal from their childhood.

This book makes you realize the harsh reality of child abuse and what it does to people later on in their life. I am giving this title 2 stars because it really should come with a trigger warning. Several times this book had me in tears near a panic attack.

Thank you so much Al Barrera and NetGalley for letting me review this title.

[Monika]

I am a big Horror fan, being it a book or a movie. Its a story about twins and what happens when one of them dies. Its called a "twinless-twin syndrome", and the feel is captured well by the author. Its dark and tense, but no so terrifying like i expected. This book is a good thriller, but not much of a horror.
Thank you NetGalley and Al Barrera for reader's copy of this novel. This review is my own and is not influenced in any way.

[Niamh]

Disclaimer: Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for a copy of this book. I have been sent a copy of this book for review purposes. This has not influenced or affected my opinions in this review.

There was so much focus on drug abuse and physical abuse that I thought that it overtook the book completely. I wasn’t a fan of this book and I felt I was a bit mislead prior to reading this. I just felt uncomfortable.

*1 star*

[Megan]

I was not expecting this book. It was way more of a trip into drug abuse, physical abuse, and suicide than I expected from the description. I expected some of that for sure, but it was so much of the book that it became too much to read. It definitely made me question what parts of the story and the world were real, but I wanted more from the Kingdom than I feel like I got. I think I was expecting more of a dark Alice in Wonderland or Wizard of Oz. What I feel like I got was a disjointed collection of somewhat interesting descriptions of the Kingdom mixed with sections that many times just made me uncomfortable. I also felt like I went into this with no connection to the characters or the Kingdom. The introductions to Aaron and Aimee and their first times in the Kingdom were glossed over so much that I felt like I didn’t care about them or know at all what was going on. They were not fleshed out at all, and the Kingdom was so briefly mentioned from their time as children that it didn’t feel important in the way that I think it was supposed to. I found myself glossing over sections of the book as I continued. While I didn’t think it was completely irredeemable as a story, it needs a new description and some more warnings for what it is. I might have liked it more if I had know what I was walking into a little more. As it is, this was not for me.

[Cassandra]

** Thank you NetGalley and Publishers for giving me a free copy of this ebook in exchange for a review. **

I felt that this book focused too much on drug use and abuse. It took me out of the story and I felt uncomfortable. The premise is what drew me in but I couldn’t finish it.