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Why Mummy Swears

4.12  ·  Rating details ·  3,662 ratings  ·  387 reviews

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.

Welcome to Mummy’s world…
The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips…
Mummy’s marriage is feeling t

Kindle Edition, 369 pages
Published July 12th 2018 by HarperCollins
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Average rating 4.12  · 
Rating details
 ·  3,662 ratings  ·  387 reviews

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Miriam Smith
Jun 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: twitter
I haven't read Gill Sim's first book "Why Mummy Drinks" the No. 1 bestselling debut fiction hardback of 2017 but had heard fabulous things about it so was over the moon to be in a position to read her latest book "Why Mummy Swears".
As a parent myself I've encountered many similarities in this wonderfully funny story - the days out to national trust places thinking you're doing the correct and intelligent thing to secretly disposing of end of year school work desperate not to be discovered. The p
Jun 20, 2018 rated it really liked it
Here is a woman after my own heart – she even has a border terrier like mine, which features on the blog from which these anecdotes are taken, along with a glass of mother’s little helper. There will be few moms who cannot relate to these snippets of family life on the frontline.
If you find yourself needing a bit of light relief from worthy heavyweight literature, then you can do no worse than to indulge your guilty-secret craving with something wickedly funny and undemanding like this follow-up
Jun 17, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
The attraction of ‘Why Mummy Swears’ is relating to the main character and yes, there were many funny and astute observations of modern parenting that would resonate with most mums.
However, there were some things I just couldn’t relate to:
a) Her choice of swear word is ’ bastarding ‘ - is that even a word?
b) She seems obsessed with her own middle-classness and with preserving her middle-class appearance
c) Her husband is a sexist and self-centred prick. But in a middle-class way.
I didn’t actua
Rachel Hall
Aug 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
Having listened to the audiobook of Why Mummy Drinks and the sweary rants of middle-class mother, Ellen Russell, I was unprepared for how entertaining, honest and irreverently funny I found it. Despite not being a mummy or even married I was still able to empathise with Ellen’s plight as just about the only requirement is an idea of how parenting has changed over the course of the last decade and just what a complex minefield it has become. Written in the same diary format as Why Mummy Drinks, t ...more
Tracy Shephard
Jun 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Ellen's diary is hilarious..

Covering a year from July, and the start of the school holidays, to the following July this hilarious look at motherhood, career adventures and family had me rolling with laughter.

I could write a novel with just my review and include all the times I giggled, snorted and wet myself laughing at life in this dysfunctional but very realistic household.

It is totally relatable and what I loved the most was 'Ellen's voice'  it's like hearing a tale from your best friend like
Fabulous Book Fiend
Jul 10, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book was just hilarious. It was so great to be back with Ellen again. I felt as if I was on her team and we were fighting the injustices of the world swearing and drinking together. If you think they covered every possible funny mummy scenario in Why Mummy Drinks then think again because there is so much more trouble children and mummies and daddies can get into and it is a just as funny the second time around.

Ellen is such a great main character to spend time with. She is just down to ear
Lorraine Sears
Aug 27, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: unfinished
I bought and downloaded this book on Kindle after the fun and bright cover attracted my eye on a mooch through Sainsbury's. I hadn't read the first book by Gill Sims 'Why Mummy Drinks' and perhaps if I had I could have saved myself £3.99.

While I admit the book started quite well - fast paced, with humorous moments where I thought 'me too', it quickly deteriorated. The continuous manic speed makes for a crude and abrasive read, and the constant barrage of sentences written in capitals, poor punct
Bookish Chat
Jul 17, 2018 rated it liked it
This book arrived at just the right time. Picture the scene....a sweaty, disgruntled 12 year old boy, one foot out of the door, ready to hop on his bike and disappear into the great outdoors. Me, equally as sweaty and disgruntled as I try to cajole, coerce, tempt and bribe him into doing just. A. Tiny. Bit. Of. Revision. Pleeeeeease. Me: 'Shall I stick these revision notes on your bedroom wall for you?'.....Him: 'yeah and if you could just stick some in the bin that'd be great' the word ...more
Listened to in audio format.

Why Mummy Swears is the second diary written by Ellen. Forty two year old Ellen is married to Simon and they have two children Peter and Jane.

It is another stressful year for Ellen. In a moment of madness she volunteers to become head of the PTA. After working from home for the last year Ellen gets a full time job with a trendy start up company.

This was a laugh out loud book helped by the narration of Gabrielle Glaister. The funniest chapter was the Christmas chapter
Jul 07, 2018 rated it liked it
Time taken to read - on and off over 4 days

Pages - 368

Publisher - Harper Collins

Source - Review copy

Blurb from Goodreads

Why Mummy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mummy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.

It’s every parents’ nightmare – the start of the school holidays – and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports c
Jun 26, 2018 rated it really liked it
Totally hilarious and definitely a laugh out loud book. I did try not to swear in front of my children but I can certainley remember desperately wanting to many times.
Sep 24, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: books-of-2018
Couldn't finish it! Some funny relatable bits as a mother but I just found it a chore, didn't manage to get half way through without wanting to shout get a grip! Never has a book defeated me before but the spare time I have to read I want to enjoy not see it as a chore. Just not for me!
Nov 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
This was my second book by Gill Sims, and I hope she will write more.
Pamela Scott

(copy from the author via NetGalley and voluntarily reviewed)

Why Mummy Drinks was hilarious and I couldn’t wait to read this. I’m so glad I did. I’m not a parent but I found so many things in this book made me laugh out loud. This book is great fun from start to finish. I was enchanted by it. I loved the part where the family have lunch in a self-catering café which is a hilarious nightmare because each person has their own menu quirk. This was a pleasure
Martha Mae
Aug 03, 2018 rated it liked it
Personally, I found Gill Simm’s sequel ‘Why Mummy Swears’ much better than her first novel ‘Why Mummy Drinks’. I never really got the whole app-inventing sub-plot in the first novel and found it all a bit too far-fetched. The sequel, however, I found both realistic and enjoyable. Both novels are super easy reads (a couple of days each), lighthearted and pleasantly mindless. At some points I felt as if the main character was slightly ‘moany’ but then again, I’m not a 42 year old mother. I’m 18 an ...more
Jun 26, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The opening paragraph of this book suggested it was going to be a humorous, self-deprecating, look at motherhood in the modern age. While the book definitely delivered in that area, it also highlighted real issues that mothers face today while trying to hold down a meaningful career, raise the family, feed the family, clean the house and still be a wife, a friend and a well-balanced human being. And there, that i the reason Mummy swears.

While this book definitely gave me some sidesplitting momen
Sep 23, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: pph-book-club
This was probably not written for me. It was fine but I did feel there was a lot of whining which got really annoying.
Nicky Mottram
Oct 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Audio version of this book 📚- Another cracking read/listen which has you laughing out loud !! Brilliant!!
Slow to start off with but soon picks up and laugh at the further adventures of the mummy series
Jun 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
As we know, even though i am not a mother i have younger siblings who make me feel like swearing and drinking. So, when i started the book i was a bit iffy about it as there was a lot of swearing going on and not a lot of actual nice English. But, the more i read the more i understood why Ellen swore so much-kids are a nightmare, parents are just as worse and men are useless! I understand completely! As i have very young siblings (see why mummy drinks review), when reading the book it became cle ...more
Sian Russell
admit to not having seen Gill Sim's blog or Facebook page before, so I hadn't heard of Peter and Jane and their adventures. I also hadn't read Why Mummy Drinks, which is the first book by this author. I love to laugh and am not offended by swearing, so I was really looking forward to getting stuck in to this book. Any writing which can take the mickey out of parenting in a lighthearted way is a winner for me.

Why Mummy Swears is the story of Ellen, her husband Simon and their two "precious moppet
Jul 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Swearing in it’s best sweary form. Life in your forties with kids at its very best. I challenge anyone to read this book and not find some affinity with the story. Cross your fingers you did those pelvic floor exercises correctly because you’ll need them working to the max. From PTA nightmares to holidaying alone with kids I loved every minute of this book. Judgy dog deserves a special mention for being so judgily fabulous!
Suzanne Robertson Moutis
Feb 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: cover
First, and most importantly, how can I get Gill Sims to be my best friend?? I would TOTALLY go down the pub with her for a little glass (or five) of wine to unwind after work. I would TOTALLY go over and watch her precious moppets while she and Simon have a night out. I would TOTALLY be on the PTA with her (even though my child is now in university). Without sounding like a creepy stalker, she is my idol.

Second, everything Mummy says and does in Why Mummy Swears is pure, solid, laugh-out-loud-f
Rachel Simson
My initial thought about this book is that it's really funny! The style reminds me a little of Bridget Jones. The book instantly seemed modern and up to date by mentioning pop culture references like Fortnite. However the book really slowed down by the 50% mark and nothing really seemed to happen. I liked Ellen as a protagonist and her daily life is both funny and really entertaining, but the pace of the plot became too still for me and there wasn't as much development by the mid-point of the bo ...more
Aug 20, 2019 rated it did not like it
I got through about a quarter of the book and then definitely decided to give up forcing myself through it. This is saying a lot, I've read 47 books thus far this year and have not ever once felt the need to give up a book entirely. So what was so bad about the book?

I get how some people would see it as humorous, but I just felt it was trying way too hard without actually being funny. When I first started the book, I was reminded of the way Sophie Kinsella writes and had rather high hopes for th
Jan 12, 2019 rated it liked it
3.5 stars

I was given this as a Christmas present; I truly thought I’d managed to conceal my effing and blinding to behind closed doors at home.

Obviously not.

Fuck it.

I enjoyed this one; it’s very British, so I’m not sure that some of the gags will translate well for readers across the pond.

It’s actually the follow up book to the very popular ‘Why mummy drinks’. As it was a gift I read this one anyway, but feel that the better stories were *probably* used up in the first one.

I really do enjoy r
Dec 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Funniest book I've read in years, I laughed my t*ts off! Obviously do not read if you are offended by swearing.
Fiona Howells
Nov 05, 2018 rated it it was ok
This is probably the worst book I have read so far this year.

I have read the blog which I have found funny, so I had high hopes, but this was really bad.

While I can see the humour in places, I found it all a bit tedious and repetitive. I also got a bit annoyed with the chapter near the beginning about the Guide camp, so obviously made up due to so many inaccuracies. It was a cliche of what a journalist thinks a Guide camp is like. Guide camps just aren’t run like that (I’m a Guide leader ). I
Jun 22, 2018 rated it really liked it
As was the case with “Why Mummy Drinks”, this book made me laugh out loud. At one point, I was actually in tears. It is so unbelievably relatable, I defy any mummy not to enjoy this book. However, the very irritating overuse of the term “eleventy billionth time” was enough to lose a star. It was used eleventy billion times - unnecessarily - and for me, was the book’s only downfall. Apart from that, I giggled, I chuckled, I nodded my head vigorously in agreement and most importantly, I thoroughly ...more
Adele Shea
Jun 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Gill Sims has well an truly surpassed Why Mummy Drinks with this book.
Laugh of loud, amazingly funny book.
I would rate this book Eleventy Billion stars if I could.
Please tell me there is more to come, this can not be the end of Ellen and her fun and frollicks.
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Gill Sims is a bestselling British author and blogger.

Sims is the author of Why Mummy Drinks which was the Sunday Times Fiction Bestseller of 2017, Why Mummy Swears published in 2018, and Why Mummy Doesn't Give A **** published in 2019.

In 2016, she began her Peter and Jane blog, which quickly gained a viral following. Her blog offers a comical response to issues facing parents. She has also writte

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