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Reaching the Shore: A Story of Survival, Courage, and Endurance
A Vivid Story About a Mother’s Unbroken Devotion
An incredibly thoughtful, brave, and beautifully written one-of-a-kind memoir about the life of a vulnerable young woman with Aspergers who was married five times. She was the mother of three children. The first at age 18, was a daughter with Type 1 Diabetes. The second at 23, a son with high-functioning Aspergers. The third at 26, was a son who would suddenly be confronted with a harrowing and hazardous journey through life.
Bonnie and her youngest sons’ lives were fraught with tragedy, yet they inspire us with their hard-won battles and ability to overcome and grow stronger. In this descriptive, well-written, and heartfelt memoir, Bonnie takes the reader on a vivid tour through her life. Having lived long enough to take a good look back, she now realizes that through all the chaos and calm of the past, her life was really a beautifully designed and sacred tapestry.
An incredibly thoughtful, brave, and beautifully written one-of-a-kind memoir about the life of a vulnerable young woman with Aspergers who was married five times. She was the mother of three children. The first at age 18, was a daughter with Type 1 Diabetes. The second at 23, a son with high-functioning Aspergers. The third at 26, was a son who would suddenly be confronted with a harrowing and hazardous journey through life.
Bonnie and her youngest sons’ lives were fraught with tragedy, yet they inspire us with their hard-won battles and ability to overcome and grow stronger. In this descriptive, well-written, and heartfelt memoir, Bonnie takes the reader on a vivid tour through her life. Having lived long enough to take a good look back, she now realizes that through all the chaos and calm of the past, her life was really a beautifully designed and sacred tapestry.
- GenresPsychology
416 pages, Paperback
Published January 6, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
February 6, 2018
Davin went to an adult prison to serve a life sentence as a teenager. This is his journey. This is his family's journey.
The first thing that comes to my mind after reading this book is every parent needs to read, "Reaching the Shore." It'll stay in my mind for a long time, and in my soul for much longer.
No parent wants the news Bonnie received. "Your son has been arrested for murder." It tore at my heart.
Since I worked at a Federal Prison Camp for twelve years, I'm familiar with the issues Davin brought up concerning the Department of Justice. I agree with many of his points. America incarcerates many of its citizens, and it's not always the right thing to do. Also, Boot Camps for teens do in fact just make better inmates. I know this personally since my son had to go there for drug usage. The United States "tough on crime" sounds good in the mouth of a politician, but in practical application, not so much.
I like one of the things Davin said when asked how he survived being in prison. His response, "Acceptance."
What a great book. I highly recommend it. As Davin spent time in prison, his family's life went on. That is shown in the book. I loved the weaving of both.
The first thing that comes to my mind after reading this book is every parent needs to read, "Reaching the Shore." It'll stay in my mind for a long time, and in my soul for much longer.
No parent wants the news Bonnie received. "Your son has been arrested for murder." It tore at my heart.
Since I worked at a Federal Prison Camp for twelve years, I'm familiar with the issues Davin brought up concerning the Department of Justice. I agree with many of his points. America incarcerates many of its citizens, and it's not always the right thing to do. Also, Boot Camps for teens do in fact just make better inmates. I know this personally since my son had to go there for drug usage. The United States "tough on crime" sounds good in the mouth of a politician, but in practical application, not so much.
I like one of the things Davin said when asked how he survived being in prison. His response, "Acceptance."
What a great book. I highly recommend it. As Davin spent time in prison, his family's life went on. That is shown in the book. I loved the weaving of both.
January 28, 2018
Davin is one of the most compelling people I have ever read about in any book. He accomplished more, and helped more people, while in prison than most people do in their entire lives in the free world. He has inspired me to be a better person.
It was remarkable to see Davin develop his mind, morality, and skills with each passing year. In his letters, I could see him mature as a writer. He became incredibly strong physically, mentally, and emotionally while remaining kind, compassionate, and attentive to those around him.
The love that author Bonnie Hall has for her son Davin is evident throughout the story, as is the anguish she suffered over the decades. Hall writes with focus, clarity, and intensity, and we feel all the raw emotions that she so bravely reveals to us.
Any mother who has experienced tragedy related to her child will find a soul sister in Bonnie Hall.
It was remarkable to see Davin develop his mind, morality, and skills with each passing year. In his letters, I could see him mature as a writer. He became incredibly strong physically, mentally, and emotionally while remaining kind, compassionate, and attentive to those around him.
The love that author Bonnie Hall has for her son Davin is evident throughout the story, as is the anguish she suffered over the decades. Hall writes with focus, clarity, and intensity, and we feel all the raw emotions that she so bravely reveals to us.
Any mother who has experienced tragedy related to her child will find a soul sister in Bonnie Hall.
March 3, 2018
What is the point of prison?
That is one of the questions that this book asks, explicitly and implicitly, over and over again. Written by his mother, this is the story of Davin, who at 16 was tried as an adult, convicted of first-degree murder, and spent 27 years behind bars. By the time he was released, his health was irrevocably ruined.
Davin's story highlights many of the problems of the American prison system. It is unpredictable and unjust: although three boys participated in the events that left a fourth boy dead, only Davin was charged, while the other boys were granted immunity and served no time. It is also unpredictably harsh: although Davin was a juvenile and may have been acting out of self-defense, he was tried as an adult and convicted with first-degree murder; mitigating circumstances were not allowed to be taken under consideration. Cases are used to serve political ends: despite being a model prisoner, Davin was repeatedly denied parole so that politicians could look "tough on crime." The system is often neglectful and cruel to a criminal degree: Davin suffered a ruptured appendix while waiting for trial but was denied treatment for several days after his appendix had been ruptured, leading to a lifetime of health problems and suffering. And, finally, the US prison system is needlessly punitive and arguably does more harm than good: the teenage Davin had to fight off predators and "make his bones" as someone too tough to hassle; although Davin did not go down the road of permanent criminality and violence that is all too common, many prisoners come out of prison much more hardened and violent than they were when they went in. And the US is and has been for some time the number one prison state in the world, with more people incarcerated than were in the Gulag system during the height of the purges; as Adam Gopnik says in "The Caging of America," "Mass incarceration on a scale almost unexampled in human history is a fundamental fact of our country today—perhaps the fundamental fact, as slavery was the fundamental fact of 1850."
It's easy when reading accounts of, say, the USSR during the 1930s, to wonder how people could just let that happen. Why weren't they crying out against it? Because, as you discover if you read, say, Solzhenitsyn and Ginzburg's accounts of their own arrest, until it happened to *them* it didn't seem real or even possible. Prison and labor camps are deliberately hidden away from the general populace, just like factory farms and slaughterhouses are. Something that terrible just couldn't be happening, not here, not now. But it is.
While it brings up all these issues, "Reaching the Shore" is not, however, a brutal, hard-hitting expose of the American prison system. It's much sweeter and yet much more frightening than that. Bonnie Jane Hall slowly weaves the story of her son's upbringing, arrest, conviction, and prison sentence in with the story of her own life and that of the rest of her family. The book is neither investigative journalism nor literary fiction, but a deeply felt personal essay, and it has that straightforward, in some ways naive (in both the ordinary and Schillerian sense) tone, which will probably make it appeal to readers who might shy away from a theoretical discussion or an aggressive denunciation of the problem. "Reaching the Shore" shows both the horror of what happened to Davin and is happening to millions of other Americans, and the ways in which day-to-day life goes on for the rest of his family. Its honest and unaffected style, with its concerns with the mundane aspects of the life of prisoners and their families (how do you set up visitation with someone imprisoned in another state? How do you manage to talk to them on the phone? Bring them food? Keep living your own life while your child is locked away from you?) gently brings home the oddly banal evil of incarceration. "Reaching the Shore" is probably not the kind of book most people are going to pick up for a little fun reading--it made me tear up at the end--but I would argue it's an important read for anyone interested in the American prison system.
My thanks to the author for providing a review copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
That is one of the questions that this book asks, explicitly and implicitly, over and over again. Written by his mother, this is the story of Davin, who at 16 was tried as an adult, convicted of first-degree murder, and spent 27 years behind bars. By the time he was released, his health was irrevocably ruined.
Davin's story highlights many of the problems of the American prison system. It is unpredictable and unjust: although three boys participated in the events that left a fourth boy dead, only Davin was charged, while the other boys were granted immunity and served no time. It is also unpredictably harsh: although Davin was a juvenile and may have been acting out of self-defense, he was tried as an adult and convicted with first-degree murder; mitigating circumstances were not allowed to be taken under consideration. Cases are used to serve political ends: despite being a model prisoner, Davin was repeatedly denied parole so that politicians could look "tough on crime." The system is often neglectful and cruel to a criminal degree: Davin suffered a ruptured appendix while waiting for trial but was denied treatment for several days after his appendix had been ruptured, leading to a lifetime of health problems and suffering. And, finally, the US prison system is needlessly punitive and arguably does more harm than good: the teenage Davin had to fight off predators and "make his bones" as someone too tough to hassle; although Davin did not go down the road of permanent criminality and violence that is all too common, many prisoners come out of prison much more hardened and violent than they were when they went in. And the US is and has been for some time the number one prison state in the world, with more people incarcerated than were in the Gulag system during the height of the purges; as Adam Gopnik says in "The Caging of America," "Mass incarceration on a scale almost unexampled in human history is a fundamental fact of our country today—perhaps the fundamental fact, as slavery was the fundamental fact of 1850."
It's easy when reading accounts of, say, the USSR during the 1930s, to wonder how people could just let that happen. Why weren't they crying out against it? Because, as you discover if you read, say, Solzhenitsyn and Ginzburg's accounts of their own arrest, until it happened to *them* it didn't seem real or even possible. Prison and labor camps are deliberately hidden away from the general populace, just like factory farms and slaughterhouses are. Something that terrible just couldn't be happening, not here, not now. But it is.
While it brings up all these issues, "Reaching the Shore" is not, however, a brutal, hard-hitting expose of the American prison system. It's much sweeter and yet much more frightening than that. Bonnie Jane Hall slowly weaves the story of her son's upbringing, arrest, conviction, and prison sentence in with the story of her own life and that of the rest of her family. The book is neither investigative journalism nor literary fiction, but a deeply felt personal essay, and it has that straightforward, in some ways naive (in both the ordinary and Schillerian sense) tone, which will probably make it appeal to readers who might shy away from a theoretical discussion or an aggressive denunciation of the problem. "Reaching the Shore" shows both the horror of what happened to Davin and is happening to millions of other Americans, and the ways in which day-to-day life goes on for the rest of his family. Its honest and unaffected style, with its concerns with the mundane aspects of the life of prisoners and their families (how do you set up visitation with someone imprisoned in another state? How do you manage to talk to them on the phone? Bring them food? Keep living your own life while your child is locked away from you?) gently brings home the oddly banal evil of incarceration. "Reaching the Shore" is probably not the kind of book most people are going to pick up for a little fun reading--it made me tear up at the end--but I would argue it's an important read for anyone interested in the American prison system.
My thanks to the author for providing a review copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
March 29, 2018
As a teenager, Davin Douma was tried as an adult and convicted of murdering someone who – we would find out much later – had abused him. He would spend over a quarter century in prison before finally being paroled.
This is his story. This is his family’s story.
Told primarily from the perspective of his mother, Bonnie Jane Hall, and interspersed with letters between the two of them (and between Davin and his brother James and sister Deborah) and a few of Davin’s several essays, the book is a family memoir... and much more.
Davin’s journey is a study in resilience, hardiness, and self-actualization. Placed in a setting that often destroys people’s lives, he had a choice – in the words of one his fellow inmates – between merely surviving and living. He chose the latter, and the book convincingly demonstrates that he succeeded.
Despite the pervasive dysfunction around him, he becomes a writer, martial arts master, and teacher. He earns a paralegal certification and helps other inmates – and even prison staff – with their own legal matters. He finds his parole packages repeatedly turned down, but this never seems to break his spirit. He forges a legacy of improving other peoples' lives.
In Davin’s story, we hear echoes of Viktor Frankl’s "Man’s Search for Meaning." Frankl tells us that while we cannot always chose our circumstances, we can chose how we react to them. As his sister writes in the epilogue, Davin chose “a path ... for self-improvement and helping others.” It is a stark and compelling illustration of Frankl’s belief that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
If existentialism isn’t your normal reading fare, fear not. This isn’t written in the voice of a philosopher; rather, it’s written in the voice of a mother. Ms. Hall’s narrative is clear and strong, yet captures the breadth and depth of her emotions through her son’s journey. You’re drawn into the emotional highs and lows of the family’s saga – the despair, the hope, the anger, and the love. Parts are heartbreaking, but at the same time, you feel privileged to be able to read it.
I sincerely hope the process of writing the book helped bring Ms. Hall and her family some measure of peace and healing; it cannot possibly have been easy to write. Yet I’m glad she did; Davin’s story deserves to be told.
This is his story. This is his family’s story.
Told primarily from the perspective of his mother, Bonnie Jane Hall, and interspersed with letters between the two of them (and between Davin and his brother James and sister Deborah) and a few of Davin’s several essays, the book is a family memoir... and much more.
Davin’s journey is a study in resilience, hardiness, and self-actualization. Placed in a setting that often destroys people’s lives, he had a choice – in the words of one his fellow inmates – between merely surviving and living. He chose the latter, and the book convincingly demonstrates that he succeeded.
Despite the pervasive dysfunction around him, he becomes a writer, martial arts master, and teacher. He earns a paralegal certification and helps other inmates – and even prison staff – with their own legal matters. He finds his parole packages repeatedly turned down, but this never seems to break his spirit. He forges a legacy of improving other peoples' lives.
In Davin’s story, we hear echoes of Viktor Frankl’s "Man’s Search for Meaning." Frankl tells us that while we cannot always chose our circumstances, we can chose how we react to them. As his sister writes in the epilogue, Davin chose “a path ... for self-improvement and helping others.” It is a stark and compelling illustration of Frankl’s belief that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
If existentialism isn’t your normal reading fare, fear not. This isn’t written in the voice of a philosopher; rather, it’s written in the voice of a mother. Ms. Hall’s narrative is clear and strong, yet captures the breadth and depth of her emotions through her son’s journey. You’re drawn into the emotional highs and lows of the family’s saga – the despair, the hope, the anger, and the love. Parts are heartbreaking, but at the same time, you feel privileged to be able to read it.
I sincerely hope the process of writing the book helped bring Ms. Hall and her family some measure of peace and healing; it cannot possibly have been easy to write. Yet I’m glad she did; Davin’s story deserves to be told.
January 28, 2018
What can I write, I am lost in emotions, can't find words. This book has touched me deeply in my core. It is overwhelming.
The book 'Reaching the Shore' is the (true) story of Davin, his life in prison, his growing up in a system of hate and violence, and not only not becoming one of them, but using the prison like monastery. Davin becomes a martial art master in three disciplines, reads thousands of books, takes many courses and even becomes a teacher. His transformation is remarkable and thorough, but while his mind gets stronger and stronger, his body becomes weaker through many illnesses and the neglect of the basic forms of health care, and because of stress that living in a system of constant threats and life danger causes.
In subtle was, this book gives great insight about prison life and the prison systems. Davin writes in one of his letters: "I have thought for many years that in the future, a hundred years from now, Americans will look back at this time in our history and wonder. They will wonder what politician and corrections officials were thinking when they decided to do what they have done. The same way we look back today at slavery and wonder how they could do it. That is the legacy of the bureaucrats. I hope they wear it well."
I hope from my heart, that this book will create not only some ripples in the ocean of injustice, prison systems, and the world of justice, but a tsunami towards a better understanding and irrevocable change to reform.
A deeply moving book!
The book 'Reaching the Shore' is the (true) story of Davin, his life in prison, his growing up in a system of hate and violence, and not only not becoming one of them, but using the prison like monastery. Davin becomes a martial art master in three disciplines, reads thousands of books, takes many courses and even becomes a teacher. His transformation is remarkable and thorough, but while his mind gets stronger and stronger, his body becomes weaker through many illnesses and the neglect of the basic forms of health care, and because of stress that living in a system of constant threats and life danger causes.
In subtle was, this book gives great insight about prison life and the prison systems. Davin writes in one of his letters: "I have thought for many years that in the future, a hundred years from now, Americans will look back at this time in our history and wonder. They will wonder what politician and corrections officials were thinking when they decided to do what they have done. The same way we look back today at slavery and wonder how they could do it. That is the legacy of the bureaucrats. I hope they wear it well."
I hope from my heart, that this book will create not only some ripples in the ocean of injustice, prison systems, and the world of justice, but a tsunami towards a better understanding and irrevocable change to reform.
A deeply moving book!
February 16, 2018
It has been said that the power of an author lies in the ability to elicit emotion, to make the reader feel the story. By using that standard, Reaching the Shore is one of the most powerful books that I have ever read.
There is an underlying sorrow and tragic theme that seems to play out throughout the whole book. There were such sorrowful experiences that there were times that I had to stop reading and integrate what I was experiencing through the words of the authors.
This book raised many questions within my consciousness - Is there such a thing as free will, or are we bound to fate? Is there an underlying purpose behind suffering? What does redemption mean at various levels of our existence? These were but a few of the questions.
I won’t go into detail here, as one of the most interesting aspects of this book is not knowing what will happen next and how the story ultimately unfolds. However, I will say again in closing that Reaching The Shore is a very powerful experience, so powerful that you will undoubtedly leave the experience transformed yourself.
There is an underlying sorrow and tragic theme that seems to play out throughout the whole book. There were such sorrowful experiences that there were times that I had to stop reading and integrate what I was experiencing through the words of the authors.
This book raised many questions within my consciousness - Is there such a thing as free will, or are we bound to fate? Is there an underlying purpose behind suffering? What does redemption mean at various levels of our existence? These were but a few of the questions.
I won’t go into detail here, as one of the most interesting aspects of this book is not knowing what will happen next and how the story ultimately unfolds. However, I will say again in closing that Reaching The Shore is a very powerful experience, so powerful that you will undoubtedly leave the experience transformed yourself.
September 9, 2018
If the story would have been dedicated to Davin it would have been much better. He spent twenty-seven years in prison for his crime-murder. He shows genuine remorse for his actions as a teenager. He spends hi tim in confinement bettering himself in min, sprits and body. I applaud him for that.
Instead, Bonnie, his mother fills the pages with so much filler, you forget what the story should be about.
By the blurb, this is what the story should focus on:
“Reaching the Shore: A Story of Survival, Courage and Endurance is a story about a young man’s journey through prison life and his extraordinary heroism of using the constraints, horrors and obscenities of his surroundings to propel him into a quest of personal growth, self-discipline and personal enlightenment.
You would think the following blurb outtake would be the side note of the story:
This book is also about the memoirs of a remarkable mother who attentively gave her devotion and attentiveness to that son. A true inspiration. The reader comes away realizing that no matter what cards fate has dealt us, ours is not to give up or give in, but to stalwartly without self-pity journey through, conquer and thus be transformed in the process.”
The book is just the opposite! It’s all about mom and Davin becomes a side note.
I will also add, when I was contacted by the author to read the story, she compared it to “Unbroken,” by Laura Hildebrand. This story is nothing like it. Laura’s is well written and engaging.
Two stars.
Instead, Bonnie, his mother fills the pages with so much filler, you forget what the story should be about.
By the blurb, this is what the story should focus on:
“Reaching the Shore: A Story of Survival, Courage and Endurance is a story about a young man’s journey through prison life and his extraordinary heroism of using the constraints, horrors and obscenities of his surroundings to propel him into a quest of personal growth, self-discipline and personal enlightenment.
You would think the following blurb outtake would be the side note of the story:
This book is also about the memoirs of a remarkable mother who attentively gave her devotion and attentiveness to that son. A true inspiration. The reader comes away realizing that no matter what cards fate has dealt us, ours is not to give up or give in, but to stalwartly without self-pity journey through, conquer and thus be transformed in the process.”
The book is just the opposite! It’s all about mom and Davin becomes a side note.
I will also add, when I was contacted by the author to read the story, she compared it to “Unbroken,” by Laura Hildebrand. This story is nothing like it. Laura’s is well written and engaging.
Two stars.
October 22, 2019
The American Prison system is deeply flawed and this book is a testament to that. The story is about Davin, sentenced to prison as a teenager. The book was told from the perspective of the mother, and it does not shy away from both the good and the bad in the family and in their lives. We follow his journey through prison, how it nearly cost him his life and how he worked to change his life. This is a powerful read, and the letters and essays really help connect the reader to the family and to Davin.
August 21, 2021
Nary a dry eye
This was a book I read aloud to a group. By the time we reached the last couple of chapters, we were all sniffling. Beautifully written, although it did seem like some areas repeated themselves in spots, though not inappropriately.
This was a book I read aloud to a group. By the time we reached the last couple of chapters, we were all sniffling. Beautifully written, although it did seem like some areas repeated themselves in spots, though not inappropriately.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews