You Have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar

Feb 16, 2019 Krista Regester rated it it was amazing

The solution to a problem like bigotry is not to do everything in our power to accommodate the bigotry. It is to get rid of the bigotry

Virgie Tovar destroys this shit. Call her when you’re unsure of yourself, read her words when you forget how to be, and thank fuck that she exists to call out my skinny privilege.

Because you can’t find self-love by walking a path paved by self-hatred.

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Aug 22, 2018 Elena rated it did not like it

It’s said that you shouldn‘t judge a book by its cover, or its size, rather, in this case (no pun intended). Nevertheless: a very small, very thin book with large letters about a topic of massive controversy and relevance, well that’s a challenge. I wish Tovar had succeeded in this regard, but she didn’t, and to be honest, knowing her agenda before reading it, this didn’t come as a big surprise. To start with the positive, there is without any doubt some true and relevant content in this little It’s said that you shouldn‘t judge a book by its cover, or its size, rather, in this case (no pun intended). Nevertheless: a very small, very thin book with large letters about a topic of massive controversy and relevance, well that’s a challenge. I wish Tovar had succeeded in this regard, but she didn’t, and to be honest, knowing her agenda before reading it, this didn’t come as a big surprise. To start with the positive, there is without any doubt some true and relevant content in this little book. For example when Tovar writes “Stop. Stop being terrified of fatness. Stop marginalizing fat people […] Every person, regardless of weight or health status deserves a life completely free from bigotry and discrimination”. Yes, and yes again. This is the message, every reasonable and empathetic person could and should sign up for. This is the message that sadly is not conventional wisdom yet. But this is not Tovar’s main imperative. Tovar’s agenda is intersectionality. And every concept about fat discrimination has to fit into it. Diet culture according to Tovar is mainly an invention of white supremacist men, it’s a child of a toxic, racist masculinity, born to control women in every possible regard. There are two main problems I have with this. Intersectionality in itself is a controversial topic. I will not elaborate on this one, since its too large and not my main point of criticism here. Though it should be mentioned that as a strategy it is at best risky to bring up a controversial topic and intertwine it so strongly with an even more controversial one. Nevertheless, the real problems lie in the fact that Tovar makes many claims about the natural world and fails in giving any kind of evidence and that she completely lacks any differentiation between the cultural and political dimensions of “diet culture” or weight issues and the medical ones. The latter she denies without further elaboration, as sadly do most proponents of the “fat acceptance” movement. For example is very questionable, that “diet culture” was ever strategically “invented” since, again, from the perspective of evolutionary psychology or anthropology we have rather reason to believe it developed from our desire to mate with “healthy” partners (and that might indeed have different meanings to different cultures). Not to say those are the facts but a book on that topic at least should discuss the whole picture. As for health the only point Tovar makes is a hint at the ‘minority stress model’. Indeed stress seems to worsen on a statistical scale the health of people, who face discrimination. But instead of producing the same symptoms in all oppressed people as a single cause, it rather causes unhealthy behavior of the oppressed and worsens existing conditions (the classic example is the exposure to HIV infections). The mountain of evidence for causal health problems produced by excess weight (whatever that is, indeed it is worth discussing!) doesn’t exist in the world Tovar paints here. It’s a world with a massive ideological superstructure and tiny feet on a mainly non existent ground (reality).
It’s no surprise that all the praises for the book come from within the bubble of ‘fat acceptance’ subculture, Tovar is part of. A message that so consequently ignores fundamental realities will never make it into the mainstream, what is a tragedy because the topic of fat stigma is still underrepresented in literature.
...more

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Jan 29, 2019 Taryn rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, bipoc-author, 2018-release

Absolutely transformative. I borrowed this teeny-tiny book from the library and read it over the course of a couple hours, but it had a huge impact on me and I’m still mulling over everything I learned. Virgie Tovar is a super smart writer, and this book is the perfect balance of academic and accessible. She puts words to thoughts I’ve had for years but never knew how to articulate. I especially love how she explains the connection between patriarchal values and fatphobia. This book would be a g ...more

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Nov 08, 2018 chantel nouseforaname rated it it was amazing

Shelves: cultural-commentary, essays, 5-star-memoirs, caught-my-eye, high-impact-reads, memoir, 5-star, feminism, self-improvement, women-of-color-writers

This book was a pleasure to read. Short, sweet and to the point. Virgie was dropping straight facts and education. I love and really resonated with some of the before narratives but most of the after narratives about what it's like to find peace and freedom in embracing yourself, your fat fluffy body and just fucking living and enjoying life. It does take awhile for some people to get to that place and it's hard being continuously discriminated against: being a fat black feminist I know that fee ...more

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Apr 18, 2020 Mariah Roze rated it it was amazing

This is a book every woman AND man should read!

"Growing up as a fat girl, Virgie Tovar believed that her body was something to be fixed. But after two decades of dieting and constant guilt, she was over it―and gave herself the freedom to trust her own body again. Ever since, she’s been helping others to do the same. Tovar is hungry for a world where bodies are valued equally, food is free from moral judgment, and you can jiggle through life with respect. In concise and candid language, she delve ...more

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May 26, 2020 M.M. Strawberry Library & Reviews rated it did not like it

Shelves: fa-and-haes-is-bs, autobiography, im-not-drinking-the-fokken-kool-aid

I heard of this person a few years ago in a discussion about Health at Every Size, and all her pictures looked like her wardrobe had been chosen by a half-blind toddler who'd been turned loose in a Goodwill. A few years later, I hear she published a book. Being the rubbernecker I am, I just HAD to have a look.

The intro is depressing as hell. As a girl, the author liked to get home, strip down naked and run into the kitchen (where her grandma was working) and jiggle her body, and oh how she loved I heard of this person a few years ago in a discussion about Health at Every Size, and all her pictures looked like her wardrobe had been chosen by a half-blind toddler who'd been turned loose in a Goodwill. A few years later, I hear she published a book. Being the rubbernecker I am, I just HAD to have a look.

The intro is depressing as hell. As a girl, the author liked to get home, strip down naked and run into the kitchen (where her grandma was working) and jiggle her body, and oh how she loved all the jiggling. Her thighs and belly and cheeks and chin would wobble. She even goes to compare this to the undulations of water in the bathtub or the pool. She loved how her body could do these incredible things.

Um, what? The fact that your body is so fat that it jiggles that much is incredible? What? (Also, shame on her guardians for letting a child get that fat! This goes beyond baby fat)

I had to stop for a second and process that. It sounds so insane I was almost sure it was made up, but then having seen various insane things being said by HAES advocates, I can now believe this kind of thing.

Mind you, that was just the introduction. And introductions usually give you a good idea of what is in the rest of the book. The introduction showed me a high level of delusion, and the rest of the book is pretty much the same.

She also rails against the patriarchy as you'd expect of a book that was published by... dun dun dun dun... Feminist Press. No, seriously, that's what it says in the copyright information. Not only that, but Feminist Press is a university press.

Which is another big red flag. Now, there's nothing wrong with college publishers in themselves, because that's a big venue for scholars/students to share their papers and work and all that jazz. But it's pseudo-feminist ramblings like this book that bring down the credibility of said publishers.

There's a chapter called 'Bros <3 Thinness, Heteromasculinity, and Whiteness.' The next one is 'Fatphobia is The New Language of Classism and Racism' Both chapters (and the rest of this book) just what you'd expect of angry fat feminist ranting.

I can't. I just fucking can't. There's so much I want to say about this crap, but my review would likely become an entire book of its own. ...more

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Oct 09, 2018 Dna rated it did not like it

Shelves: library, 2018, biography, boring, non-fiction, memoir, self-help

Typical feminist tripe. Yeah, okay, be who you are -- it's all good. But promoting unhealthy ideals just to make a point? Get outta here. It's fine to be WHO YOU ARE, but not fine to promote the okayness of it all by couching it in feminist theory. Gross. Fourth wave feminists are complete morons. ...more

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Jan 21, 2019 Jemma Dixon rated it liked it

‘You Have the Right to Remain Fat’ was a complicated read for me, despite being quite short. I suppose it’s because I contain culture within myself: culture is lived inside of me as I read and think, and culture tends to have fixed ideas about the use(s) of language. (It’s interesting to consider that the word ‘diet’ has switched to ‘optimise your health!’etc...)

“I encourage people to answer this question: What would your life look like if you stopped trying to control your weight? Let’s go fur ‘You Have the Right to Remain Fat’ was a complicated read for me, despite being quite short. I suppose it’s because I contain culture within myself: culture is lived inside of me as I read and think, and culture tends to have fixed ideas about the use(s) of language. (It’s interesting to consider that the word ‘diet’ has switched to ‘optimise your health!’etc...)

“I encourage people to answer this question: What would your life look like if you stopped trying to control your weight? Let’s go further. What would happen if I told you that your body was fine? What if I told you that you have permission to eat whatever you want and wear whatever you want because you are officially perfect? What if we lived in an imaginary world where you had never been taught that your body was wrong, where you never learned that certain foods were good or bad or evil or healthy? What if we lived in an imaginary world where food wasn’t charged with any moral meaning—hot dogs weren’t morally inferior to carrots, and lettuce wasn’t morally superior to Nutella? Imagine that no clothing was off limits—you could wear whatever colors you wanted, stripes that were horizontal or vertical, sequins or chambray, shorts or crop tops. Imagine that every day you woke up and your first thought wasn’t “I hate this body.” I want you to imagine that you walked around expecting every person to treat you with complete humanity and respect, and when people didn’t, you blamed them for being assholes instead of[…] »

I too wish that we lived in a world where food wasn’t charged with moral meaning, and that people weren’t judged because they dont conform to (arbitrary) cultural standards of beauty. I do feel that this book lacks nuance, though. Eating meat (a dead animal) is different to eating a piece of lettuce, or even Nutella (i.e., Palm oil is an ingredient in Nutella, and so is milk - if we look at how these are sourced, it’s typically destructive and so food just DOES come with a moral compass.)

I think that wishing things into hypothetical existence isn’t that useful, though I really like that there was a praxis of the author’s theory in her meditative retreats where people come to have fun and accept themselves as they are/ revel in the beings that are themselves. I just can’t help but read this from the perspective (and maybe this is a problem, on my part - and I clearly need to read more), that it’s not morally bad EITHER to care about your health, or to not want to eat sugar because of the effect on your microbiome/gut health (which can influence your general mood - 80% of serotonin is produced in the gut). The book also seemed to posit that people who exercised or controlled calorie intake did so for the purpose of culturally conforming (in order to be accepted, loved, valued), but we know there are reasons beyond these desires why people exercise. And wanting these things isn’t bad, but the way we think we will receive these things (through the body) is indeed fucked up.

I exercise and look at what I eat to optimise my bone density and reduce fractures in older age, to feel the rush of endorphins, for greater clarity of mind, to nourish my body with real food which supports brain function, to give myself 30-60 minutes a day to look into myself (I do see exercise as a form of self care), because when you are in touch with your body - you feel good. Being fat clearly doesn’t prevent any of this, and there is a hell of a lot of self-care in saying Fuck It to conformity, and just enjoying the damn piece of cake!

I just think this book is a little one-sided and I suppose I feel defensive because I don’t want to believe that I’m as controlled as I possibly am. Regardless, it was a good book to get thinking about these ideas! I imagine it’d be a good companion piece to really look at our underlying psychological motivations when it comes to ‘diet’ and exercise in a culture which often feels so ‘natural’/‘Normal’, but may really be insidiously violent. ...more

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Aug 12, 2018 Karla Strand rated it liked it

Shelves: women-authors, biography-autobiography-memoir, women-feminism, non-fiction, reviewing

For full review, see: F*ck Your Fatphobia.

Overall, I really enjoyed this slim volume and read it in one afternoon. One of the strengths of this book is its accessibility. Tovar is very good at explaining some basic concepts for those who may be new to them, such as bootstrapping and gaslighting, and then builds information on these concepts as the book goes on.

And indeed, the book gets stronger and more impassioned as it goes on. Tovar intersperses information about fat discrimination and body i For full review, see: F*ck Your Fatphobia.

Overall, I really enjoyed this slim volume and read it in one afternoon. One of the strengths of this book is its accessibility. Tovar is very good at explaining some basic concepts for those who may be new to them, such as bootstrapping and gaslighting, and then builds information on these concepts as the book goes on.

And indeed, the book gets stronger and more impassioned as it goes on. Tovar intersperses information about fat discrimination and body image with her own personal experiences which really helps to illustrate the concepts.

Throughout the book, Tovar discusses topics such as body shame, fatphobia, and diet culture, which are the main culprits behind the lies we tell ourselves that as women, and especially as fat women, our bodies are somehow wrong.

But Tovar goes a step further and explains how these issues are actually,

merely symptoms of a larger cultural problem, not least our country’s history of unresolved racism, white supremacy, classism, and misogyny.

In no uncertain terms, Tovar argues that unrealistic existing beauty standards are built on this foundation and have been undermining women’s self-trust and control over their own lives.

Well, Tovar isn’t gonna take it anymore and neither should you. What really resonated with me was Tovar’s frustration with putting her life on hold because of her fatness, always feeling like she will really live only once she loses weight. She will wear a bikini when she loses weight or she will travel when she loses weight or will have more sex when she loses weight. This internalized inferiority is something most women experience so much, we don’t even realize it.

Rather than recognizing the multiplicity of feminine expression and feminine power (regardless of sex assignment at birth, ability, size, the presence or absence of modesty or money), women in pursuit of thinness become complicit in their own dehumanization and therefore become agents of misogyny.

At a certain point, Virgie Tovar decided to stop dieting and abiding by society’s arbitrarily constructed standards and just start living. Not later. NOW.

Something else I appreciated about this book was Tovar’s attention to the difference between the fat activist and body positivity movements. For instance, Tovar argues that fat activism has proud queer and political roots and is fighting to tear down the oppressive system of dangerous body ideals, while body positivity adherents wish to assimilate into this system, despite its racist, patriarchal, fatphobic undertones. While only an introduction, this section is just enough to inspire readers to examine these movements further.

Fatphobia affects us all and Virgie Tovar’s You Have the Right to Remain Fat is an accessible place for anyone to start learning how to fight against it. A determined call to action, this is a quick read that packs a punch. Pick it up if you are a womxn or love a womxn. Full stop. ...more

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Nov 03, 2018 Komi Amegblenke rated it did not like it

I absolutely hated this book and only read 75/whatever pages there were

Apparently dieting is the cause of fat phobia. This book is utter bull crap. I've been fat and I have a sibling who is fat. Dieting is a tool in reaching a more appropriate body weight. No says you need to be skinny in order to be beauty. What you see on TV is utter crap. Plus fat isn't truly defined. Some people of the same weight can distribute their fat differently which can complex things and how they and others view them I absolutely hated this book and only read 75/whatever pages there were

Apparently dieting is the cause of fat phobia. This book is utter bull crap. I've been fat and I have a sibling who is fat. Dieting is a tool in reaching a more appropriate body weight. No says you need to be skinny in order to be beauty. What you see on TV is utter crap. Plus fat isn't truly defined. Some people of the same weight can distribute their fat differently which can complex things and how they and others view them. Not like what others think truly matters unless it truly hurts said person's health.

The author talks about Juicing as a weight remedy, which is a lie. I've never heard that. If anything I hear people claim it's a way to detox the body and often times used by people who are already slim. But if a fat person was to juice its bound to lead to weight loss since the amount of calories being consumed is going to be a lot less than what they may typically consume. Losing weight usually means burning more calories than you consumed. Therefore less calories from juicing is going to lead to weight loss but not because it's juicing primary goal but because you're taking in less than the body needs to function.

Plus Who has called being fat a mental illness? Where is this lady getting her info?

This lady just said fat and thin, straight and gay are categories created to control people. Not at all. They're are categories created to identify people. If you truly don't want to be skinny you don't have to. I'm not for being super skinny nor super fat. The issue I think Virgie Tovar runs into is the fact that she doesn't really identify what fat is. Are we identifying it by the BMI (flawed system) or how someone looks (flawed also since it is subjective and varies across races.)?

Seems like Virgie has had a bad experience and because she doesn't want to lose weight, she wants to push a very bad narrative that could lead to a lot of unhealthy people. Also Her visit to her doctor at a young age meant she went to a bad doctor especially since the doctors incentive for her to lose weight was allowing her to date their son, which is quite inappropriate. Like Wtf.

If you don't want to lose weight because you don't want to but because of others you're truly going to fail. You can never succeed at something if it's not done for your own personal reasons. The same can be applied to students who major in degrees their parents suggest or take careers they never wanted. They lose interest or hope and fail at what they had wanted to achieve all along.

I truly think that instead of talking about how fat phobic people are, the author should have written the book from a different perspective. Maybe focusing on why being fat for her, to a certain extent, helped her esteem and how you can be fat and have confidence but there comes a point where being too fat can lead to a life of obesity (which is the extreme of fat).

Book went on many tangents that really didn't add any substances to the story. Example, the date with her cheating salesman friend. You choose him. You can find guys who won't treat you like shit but you did. So don't blame a whole population for yet another bad experience.

I'm sorry but this book was just all over the place. I support many things such as LGBT, feminism, etc. But this book doesn't really change my views on being fat as a good thing. Be fat to a certain extent but prepare for the complications that may arise. Live your life and I'll live mine. But please don't try to encourage people in being fat. Let's find a middle ground. Average, how about that? ...more

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Mar 22, 2019 Michael rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, must-reads

Four years ago, sitting on the back of my father's boat, I had taken off my shirt due to the heat. My best friend and father both saw this and their response was: "My god! He's going to die of a heart attack one day." This was spoken out loud, as a jest (although still based on reality).

Eight years ago, my family had praised me for loosing a lot of weight. They continuously told me how much better I looked and how much better I must feel. I have never felt more unhealthy then that time of my lif Four years ago, sitting on the back of my father's boat, I had taken off my shirt due to the heat. My best friend and father both saw this and their response was: "My god! He's going to die of a heart attack one day." This was spoken out loud, as a jest (although still based on reality).

Eight years ago, my family had praised me for loosing a lot of weight. They continuously told me how much better I looked and how much better I must feel. I have never felt more unhealthy then that time of my life.

Twelve years ago, I was ashamed to wear any form fitting clothing. I would cut meals entirely and regularly. I would also be called fat by friends and family relentlessly. I was some how subhuman because of my weight. And I wasn't even all that heavy all things considering.

I needed Virgie's book now, and even more so back then. I wish someone had given me this book when I was 10 and told "It's ok to be fat you know." Not: "it's going to be ok one day" which was just code for 'one day you'll be thin' but 'it's ok to be fat'.

Virgie's book gets right down to the heart of Fatphobia and how twisted and dangerous this thought and ideology is. She goes on to explain how it is also rooted in sexism, racism, classism, and bigotry. It clearly outlines how our 'fitness focused society' is just the repackaging of our biggest fear of fatness.

The only concern I have with Virgie's book is the concept of being healthy and being fat. While I'm with her on every step of the way, I also recognize the benefits of leading a healthy life style. Not to lead a healthy lifestyle to maintain our warped ideas of fitness and thin, but leading a healthy lifestyle that best suites the person. I agree with Virgie that the gyms that are popping up on every corner are cashing in on our fatphobias, but I also see that exercise has massive health benefits (the least of which is becoming thin).

In the end, Virgie's book said "It's Ok to be me" in a way that sunk in. If you've ever felt like your body is betraying you, this is a must read. ...more

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Jul 20, 2020 Erica Scoville rated it it was amazing

this book was extremely liberating. it put to words a lot of my own thoughts and experiences, even some i didn’t realize i had!

my own bias aside, virgie tovar’s work is extremely important for my own research within fat studies, as she examines fatphobia as a byproduct of white supremacy, an exercise of control that’s most violent towards BIWOC.

“the real problem is that our culture is maintained through a vitriolic matrix of sexism, racism, misogyny, transphobia, ableism, and classism that ero ...more

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Oct 31, 2018 Julie Mickens rated it it was amazing

Shelves: california, essays-memoir, nonfiction, nonfiction-by-women, favorites, reviewed, psychology-etc, feminism-adjacent, sociology-related

Nobody combines academic theory with liberation feminism with personal essay better than Virgie Tovar. She makes it all so fun. She is also brilliantly concise. This book is only 125 quick-reading pages, but it's so potentially transformative that it could become an irreverent catechism for many women, a Little Fat Book, as it were.

...
ETA -- Post-Trump, I've been pondering more and more the internalized misogyny -- bad enough to vote for that vile creature, anyway, though all women in a patriarc ...more

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Sep 08, 2018 Amanda rated it liked it

Shelves: books-i-own

I mean, Virgie knows how to say the things that need to be said, however, I was never fully caught up in her words. While reading Jes Baker or Lindy West or Sonya Renee Taylor, I feel swept up in an emotional whirlwind (in the best way possible) the entire time. With Virgie I felt that there were snippets where I was smacked in the chest, but the rest felt rather messy & stitched together & not very captivating.

I think the bottom line for me is, if you write such a short book, you should be in ...more

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Sep 11, 2018 Lindsay rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2018-read

I LOVED this book. So intelligently written. I wanted to highlight the shit out of it. My only critique is that I struggle with the message about diets when it comes to dealing with my autoimmune disease. Virgie Tovar is writing from a healthy human perspective...but where does one fit in when you’re chronically ill and a diet is the only thing that helps? Where can I fit into this narrative?

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Nov 13, 2018 Erin rated it liked it

Some really great fat-positive talking points. I’m not keen on militant anything, so it only gets three stars, but as a fat woman, this was a helpful book to read and recommend.

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Nov 27, 2018 Aimee Dars rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: feminism, non-fiction

Tovar Virgie - You Have the Right to Remain Fat

"I had been taught to believe that weight loss was the key to all my heart’s greatest desires, but the truth is that it wasn’t. Because you can’t find self-love by walking a path paved by self-hatred."

Virgie Tovar’s manifesto, You Have the Right to Remain Fat, preaches that there’s nothing wrong with fat people. There is something wrong with the culture that enables the discrimination against, scapegoating of, and prejudice towards fat people. Her message that everyone no matter their size shoul Tovar Virgie - You Have the Right to Remain Fat

"I had been taught to believe that weight loss was the key to all my heart’s greatest desires, but the truth is that it wasn’t. Because you can’t find self-love by walking a path paved by self-hatred."

Virgie Tovar’s manifesto, You Have the Right to Remain Fat, preaches that there’s nothing wrong with fat people. There is something wrong with the culture that enables the discrimination against, scapegoating of, and prejudice towards fat people. Her message that everyone no matter their size should be treated with dignity is empowering. I found her arguments about dieting as a method of control convincing and her stories about her personal history with body image moving.

To me, this book was like an opening salvo or a flag to start a race. It is, I believe, designed to raise consciousness and get women fired up, showing them the fallacies in diet culture and the pervasiveness of fatphobia. In this purpose, the book is successful. I also was very interested in the chapter that compared fat activism and the body positivity movement; I didn’t know the roots were so different, and it made me conscious of the limits of body positivity.

You Have the Right to Remain Fat is not a deep dive into history of fatphobia and diet culture, and while it is a call to arms, it does not provide strategies for moving forward. For those topics, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living by Jes Baker is a great resource.

Tovar is eloquent and convincing, but I would have liked to see more evidence or sources for some of her arguments or concepts she introduces. For example, she mentions “radical passivity” but doesn’t describe it, and I actually can’t find a good explanation on the interweb. She has a thoughtful analysis of ads from the Strong4Life anti-childhood obesity campaign run by Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, but the advertisements aren’t reprinted.

If you are only going to read one book on the subject, I don’t think I’d pick You Have the Right to Remain Fat. But, if you want to see how diet culture affected one woman and turned her into an activist, and if you want to feel good and get fired up about the issue, this is a great book to choose.

...aka darzy... | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram ...more

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Aug 24, 2018 Charlott rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Virgie Tovar is an author, researcher, activist, former Buzzfeed-style writer - and so much more. She regularly gives lectures and organizes workshops on body image and fat discrimination. In 2012, she edited the anthology Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion, which I really enjoyed when I read it five years ago. Now her newest book is out: You Have the Right to Remain Fat: A Manifesto.

In this slim volume, Tovar combines autobiographical writing with wider political analysis, Virgie Tovar is an author, researcher, activist, former Buzzfeed-style writer - and so much more. She regularly gives lectures and organizes workshops on body image and fat discrimination. In 2012, she edited the anthology Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion, which I really enjoyed when I read it five years ago. Now her newest book is out: You Have the Right to Remain Fat: A Manifesto.

In this slim volume, Tovar combines autobiographical writing with wider political analysis, alternating between vignettes from her life, and spotlights on different topics such as the link between diet culture and fat hatred (also outlining what diet culture actually means), the intersections of sexism, racism, classism, and the way we categorize body sizes, and the history and foci of earlier fat activism (in the US). Tovar emphasizes how body policing tries to keep us small - literally and metaphorically. In her last three chapters, which are aptly and poignantly titled "In the Future, I'm Fat", "I Want Freedom", and "You Have the Right to Remain Fat" the "manifesto" part of the book's title shines through the most obvious. She writes: "My life wouldn't be easier if I were thin. My life would be easier if this culture wasn't obsessed with oppressing me because I'm fat. The solution to a problem like bigotry is not to do everything in our power to accommodate the bigotry. It is to get rid of the bigotry. In the dreams I have of my future, I an fat. This simple fact was hard won".

The writing is on point throughout the book and the pages are filled with very quotable paragraphs. I love how Tovar does not shy away from critiquing how fat activism, when absolved from its queer and radical roots (and re-named body positivity), loses much of its clear vision and impact, more concerned with politeness, access to privileges, and in a complex way still catering to straight men. So yes, there is much goodness in this beautiful book and will make a good present for many people in my (and your lives). My only small-ish gripe: It is quite short, which is not in itself a critique, but in this book it shows. I don't say this book needs to be hundreds of pages long, but a few pages more (also adding a few more citations) to some of the chapters would have been wonderful. But all in all, it was an uplifting, angry, and powerful read. ...more

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Sep 09, 2018 Iris rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I wish I could give this book 6 stars. I wish it was three times as long.

There are lots of memoirs on topics surrounding fat activism and body positivity. The core message is frequently that fatphobia deeply harms fat people, and this message is told through heartbreaking personal stories.

This book is like that. But Tovar is also a fat scholar, so her book is able to say with clarity - here's how fatphobia is a product of racism and patriarchy. Here's how fatphobia is about creating compliant b ...more

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Jan 13, 2019 Kate Dunn rated it it was amazing

I am mov'd deeply and never until this book have I been compelled to put down some of the things I've been carrying around my entire life. It's too fresh and too deep to discuss here, but do know this ought to be read by the masses, not just us fat kids. The last 25+ pages or so are a fever of conversion. And fucken freedom. ...more

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Jan 12, 2019 Chinook rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: america, feminism

Meghan mentioned this book on FB and so when it popped up on my library on Overdrive I was excited. And it’s great - she doesn’t hold back anything in this discussion of basic theory combined with memoir. The only criticism I had is that I wanted it to be longer.

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Oct 22, 2018 Adrianna rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2018

So many ideas in this that I had not encountered before. It revealed to me my own internalized submission to a culture that brutally tells me I'm not lovable as I am. I'm really grateful she wrote it. ...more

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Mar 15, 2019 Heather O'Neill rated it it was ok

Virgie Tovar has had weight issues and in this very short novel she talks about how fat shaming is wrong and how people should be happy with their bodies and not worry about how other people think of their bodies.

I get her message, but I have some issues with it. I understand wanting to be comfortable in your own body no matter what size, but when you eat crap and eat a ton of it and don't exercise you are going to have health issues. I think being healthy should be a good priority for people. T ...more

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Aug 18, 2018 Bri rated it it was amazing

Shelves: women-of-color, non-fiction, feminist

I was so so excited for this book to come out and Virgie certainly did not disappoint. Her manifesto is part memoir, part culture critique and features excellent research and commentary on fatphobia and how diet culture and fear of fatness is directly linked to misogyny. I admire the surety with which Tovar names the hatred and shame fat people are made to feel not by our own shortcomings, but because of the culture we live in that aims to strip us of agency and the magic of our own bodies. Her ...more

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Jan 28, 2018 Shelle rated it it was amazing

Thank you to edelweiss for the E-ARC copy of this book.
I was not entirely familiar with this author’s work, but a friend assured me she’s awesome. I was not disappointed.
Tovar focuses on how fat phobia should truly be viewed from the perspective of “just let me be fat”, instead of fighting so much. If you don’t make demands the other side can not fight with you.

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Feb 06, 2019 Melanie Page rated it really liked it

Shelves: sjcpl, body-image-and-food

Virgie Tovar’s nonfiction book, You Have the Right to Remain Fat, was published by Feminist Press in 2018. It’s 121 pages with what I thought was somewhat large font compared to most books. Thus, I read Tovar in one sitting. The basic synopsis is that Tovar dieted heavily for two decades before finding queer fat activism and learning that her body is not something to alter to please the male gaze or prop up white supremacy. Since then, Tovar has been writing about fat activism in Forbes and Ravi ...more

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Nov 26, 2019 Sarah rated it it was amazing

Shelves: english, non-fictie

I realize now that all those times I had said "I want to be thin," I actually meant:
I want to be loved.
I want to be happy.
I want to be seen.
I want to be free.
...more

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Dec 24, 2018 Rebecca rated it really liked it

Shelves: age-adult-books, nonfiction, parenting-and-health, 2018-read-harder-challenge

2018 Read Harder Challenge: A book of social science. Here's another case where the longer book I'm reading for this category, "Women, Race, and Class," I may not finish in time. I don't remember how this small book came onto my radar -- possibly on the social media I started following after my love of "The Body is Not An Apology." And as is so often the case, I started reading it even though I was in the middle of multiple other books!

Virgie Tovar's book is staunchly feminist, and I felt like I 2018 Read Harder Challenge: A book of social science. Here's another case where the longer book I'm reading for this category, "Women, Race, and Class," I may not finish in time. I don't remember how this small book came onto my radar -- possibly on the social media I started following after my love of "The Body is Not An Apology." And as is so often the case, I started reading it even though I was in the middle of multiple other books!

Virgie Tovar's book is staunchly feminist, and I felt like I learned the most from her chapter "What Early Fat Activism Taught Me," and its deconstruction of the "body positivity" movement. She breaks down the differences between fat activism and body positivity in terms that make a lot of sense and make me look askance at "body positivity," especially as it's started to manifest on social media ("As starched and polished and pearl-bedecked as that performance is, at its core is the notion of submission and the idea that through submission we can maintain privilege.").

Favorite quotes:

"When we take a moment to recognize what our culture teaches us about fat people, it becomes really clear really quickly that fatphobia is a form of bigotry, obscured by the naturalizing language of beauty and health and the false narrative of concern."

"The concomitant rise of body positivity, plus-size fashion, and fitness-app usage has led to the near extinction of the term 'dieting.' In its wake, a flurry of new, more specific, and more dynamic language has arisen. It's the process of transmuting a diet (i.e., restricting calories) to 'taking care of one's health.'"

"Fat people experience more anxiety in our daily lives. We experience the effects of something called 'minority stress' -- the negative physiological outcomes of discrimination, cruelty, and social ostracization over a lifetime."

"[Bootstrapping] is one of the primary cornerstones of American aesthetics and ideology. It is also the foundation of diet culture. Unlike many parts of the world where fate is considered to be something that lies beyond the reach of average humans, in the US fate is considered to be something that is resoundingly within the realm of every single person's control. Failure is an individual problem, not a collective, cultural, or political problem. The idea is that if you don't have something, it is because you didn't want it badly enough, or you didn't try hard enough."

"[The doctor] did not ask me how I lost the weight. He did not ask me what I was or wasn't eating. It didn't matter. Literally no one seemed to care. He believed, like most, that when a fat woman -- or girl -- loses weight, it's always positive no matter how the loss happened."

"It was not an accident that I had anxiety about the parts of my body that marked me as a person of color. I had been taught from an early age that white features were more attractive than dark features. It was just harder to see because no one had flat-out said to me, 'You are inferior because you are not white.' Rather, the education was subtler, more prolonged, and more obscured. The education in my inferiority wasn't in one place, it was everywhere. Paradoxically, that made it harder to see."

"They [the straight women in the body positivity movement] were scared that if they spoke the truth that men wouldn't want to be with them; they would have become those 'difficult' women they had disliked previously. They were still taking care of men; for many, they were taking care of men they hadn't even met yet, men they hoped to meet in the future."

"According to the culture, my life mattered less because I wasn't a 'fuckable commodity,' and so I was pushed to the margins -- a glorious and strange borderland, as Gloria Anzaldua called it. Fatphobia and dieting were like the ghosts that cast a shadow over my life, but as with all oppression it created a road out of the stifling reality of the mainstream. That road is beautiful and amazing, filled with people who know a version of the truth that mainstreamers can't or won't see. I wish everyone had access to that wondrous outcast world, and I wish the terms of that access weren't so barbaric."

"I encourage people to answer this question: What would your life look like if you stopped trying to control your weight? Let's go further. What if I told you that your body was fine? What if I told you that you have permission to eat whatever you want and wear whatever you want because you are officially perfect?" ...more

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Jan 07, 2019 Ren Martinez rated it really liked it

I received this book as a gift for my birthday from my best friend, Kate. She and I are fierce feminists who often discuss our favorite Netflix show between diatribes against the patriarchy.

She is also fat, and proudly so. I often reference her as such, like "Yeah, my best friend is fat, and she deals with XYZ." I often get looks or stutters at that, and inevitably explain that Kate accepts the word and has given explicit permission for me to use it. "I am fat," she says. "It's a descriptor, li I received this book as a gift for my birthday from my best friend, Kate. She and I are fierce feminists who often discuss our favorite Netflix show between diatribes against the patriarchy.

She is also fat, and proudly so. I often reference her as such, like "Yeah, my best friend is fat, and she deals with XYZ." I often get looks or stutters at that, and inevitably explain that Kate accepts the word and has given explicit permission for me to use it. "I am fat," she says. "It's a descriptor, like short or freckled or loud. I want to use that word and, through using it, take away its power to be used as a weapon. It's just a word."

So, while body positivity and fat activism are not new concepts for me, my situation is different from Kate's as I am not considered fat. I do not mean this in a pejorative way but am speaking factually. I am someone who is able to walk into any store and find something in their size. I am not subject to whispers and comments when I go out to eat, and in fact am praised when I eat burgers and pizza because "that's a girl who knows good food." While we are all impacted by fatphobia and body-shaming, I am under no illusion that I face the obstacles and prejudice that Kate or any other fat person faces every day.

Virgie Tovar's book, though, was refreshing and challenging in a way that was new. She underlined fatphobia's misogyny and highlighted its intersections with racism. She not only challenged the fatphobic attitudes of which I was well aware, but the movement of body positivity itself. Too often, she points out, body positivity becomes a movement to make fatness attractive to men; it becomes less about abolishing fatphobia and more about repackaging it so that thin, white, straight people become its arbiters and its icons.

Her voice is simultaneously poetic and brutal; she is unapologetic but utterly empathetic. She describes her experience without the trappings of excuses or apologies for the people and forces in her life that caused her suffering. She pinpoints them with accuracy and hangs them out to dry. There's rage there, but a rage that is without direction or composure. It's a fury that is composed and controlled and utilized to its full potential. She doesn't just want you to empathize with her experience; she wants you to recognize its echoes in your own life. It's not enough just to be angry that one suffered; you must refuse to let others suffer as well.

As the new year begins, we are all in the throws of resolutions and promises, how we can make the most out of the upcoming year. And, on my Facebook feed, I see post after post about cutting out carbs, taking up dieting, talking about "This is the years, guys! This is the year I become skinny! This is the year I finally become happy!"

Well, I think it's high time that we all listen to voices like Virgie's. I think it's well past time for us to say Fuck You. We have the right to exist exactly as we are, without apology, without shame.

We have the right to remain FAT. ...more

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Sep 08, 2018 Rachel rated it it was amazing

I love Virgie Tovar and love how she pushes for something much more than body positivity, how she advocates that every person has the right to feel completely valued in their own body.

"Controlling women's body size is about controlling women's lives."

"It's important to recognize that the desire to be thin is actually part of a drive to be compliant with current Western expectations of feminine submission and second class citizenship. This model of feminine submission is deeply informed by whit ...more

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