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Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault: Essays from the Grown-Up Years

Cathy Guisewite

3.58 · Rating details · 1,560 ratings · 362 reviews

From the creator of the iconic "Cathy" comic strip comes her first collection of funny, wise, poignant, and incredibly honest essays about being a woman in what she lovingly calls "the panini generation."

As the creator of "Cathy," Cathy Guisewite found her way into the hearts of readers more than forty years ago, and has been there ever since. Her hilarious and deeply rela ...more

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Hardcover, 336 pages

Published April 2nd 2019 by G.P. Putnam's Sons

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Jan 06, 2019 Nenia ✨️ Socially Awkward Trash Panda ✨️ Campbell rated it liked it

Shelves: mem-wars, nonfiction, netgalley

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Ultimately, feminism is about empowering women and providing them with the agency to not just make their choices, but to make those choices in an environment where their opportunities for success and for failure in all domains are equal to those of other genders. People have a lot of ideas about what is and isn't feminist and often, things like the Cathy comics and books like BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY are placed firmly in the "isn't" categor ...more

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May 20, 2019 Tucker rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: my-favorites

“Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault” is one of my favorite books so far this year and I’m confident it will be one of my best books for all of 2019. Cathy Guisewite’s essays about being in the sandwich (or panini generation as she aptly calls it) were poignant, endearing, heartwarming, and hilarious. I can’t remember the last time I actually laughed out loud while reading a book, but “Fifty Things” was truly that kind of funny. And there were tears too, tears of recognition and understanding.

“Thi “Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault” is one of my favorite books so far this year and I’m confident it will be one of my best books for all of 2019. Cathy Guisewite’s essays about being in the sandwich (or panini generation as she aptly calls it) were poignant, endearing, heartwarming, and hilarious. I can’t remember the last time I actually laughed out loud while reading a book, but “Fifty Things” was truly that kind of funny. And there were tears too, tears of recognition and understanding.

“This is my whole life not fitting. My days are too short, my lists are too long. People aren’t where they’re supposed to be. Everything’s changing without my permission. Children are moving away, friends moving on, loved ones leaving the earth, muscles and skin tone not even pausing to wave farewell before deserting me—and after all I’ve done for them. Just when I think I can’t possibly stand one more goodbye, something or someone I thought would be here forever isn’t. Everyone I know is in some version of a great big life shift. Right in the middle of people and things that are changing and disappearing way too fast. An unrequested rearrangement of everything in our personal worlds—as if there isn’t enough that feels out of our control right now in the big world. It’s unsettling and unnerving. And scary. Impossible to be everything to everyone, to reconcile all that’s different, and to keep track of ourselves along that way.”

Whether she was writing about the challenges and humor in dieting and finding clothes that fit real bodies, trying to help her aging parents and her teenage daughter through the transitions they are going through, the new life that arises when retirement begins, or decluttering and organizing, it was as if she was writing specifically about my life. I was calling friends and family to quote sections of the book I particularly loved and which really resonated with me. Then I realized I was calling too many people too often, so I just bought them their own copies instead. (I’ve received some wonderful thank you notes!) “Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault” is a book I’m highly recommending to everyone, especially to all those “paninis” out there.
...more

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Feb 08, 2019 Monnie rated it it was amazing

I'm not sure which I did more of while reading this wonderful book: chuckle out loud or wipe away tears. It helps, I suppose, that I was a huge fan of the author's long-running "Cathy" comic strip. Perhaps more important, while I'm older than she is by nine years, I, too, was a champion of the feminist movement (still am, as is she) and was for a time sandwiched in between parents and a daughter, all of whom were growing old, and up, way too fast. Sadly, my parents are gone now - and my daughter I'm not sure which I did more of while reading this wonderful book: chuckle out loud or wipe away tears. It helps, I suppose, that I was a huge fan of the author's long-running "Cathy" comic strip. Perhaps more important, while I'm older than she is by nine years, I, too, was a champion of the feminist movement (still am, as is she) and was for a time sandwiched in between parents and a daughter, all of whom were growing old, and up, way too fast. Sadly, my parents are gone now - and my daughter has become the "stuff" inside the Oreo of life, caught between a grown daughter of her own and her aging parents (which, Lord help us, means me and my husband).

In any event, oh, how I can relate - and I'm quite sure all but teenybopper females will do so as well. These essays were written, Guisewite says, at a time when she's trying to "declutter" her own life (hmmm, I'm pretty sure that's a word that passed through our daughter's lips last time she popped in for a visit). Feminist though she may be, Guisewite admits to feeling torn between Betty Crocker and Betty Friedan (conjuring up decades-ago memories of whipping up a casserole for my family to eat while I attended a Gloria Steinem lecture). I choked with laughter - and frustration - as she recounted getting "stuck" in a sports bra; as a gym newbie, I can tell you it's not fun (though worse, perhaps, is the embarrassment over having to call someone to your rescue). And before I caved and joined the gym, I, too, resisted the call to exercise, rationalizing that "I exercised yesterday and I don't look any different."

There are far too many other shared feelings and experiences to mention here (especially since I don't want to spoil the fun for other readers). In the end, she sums up the dilemma we're in perfectly: "My whole generation is reeling from the stunning truth - that we, who are way too young and hip to ever look or act old, are not too young to pass away." Aha - maybe that's why I glance proudly at the year-old Aristocat tattoo on the top of my flip-flop clad foot as I open the morning newspaper first to the obituaries pages. Torn indeed!

In short, I love, love, love this book - highly recommended. Many thanks to the publisher, via NetGalley, for the opportunity to read and review an advance copy.
...more

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Mar 31, 2019 Tiffany PSquared rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, netgalley, 2019-reading-challenge

If you can get through the first couple of chapters while maintaining a positive attitude, you just might end up liking this book. I was nervous at first- it had the potential to become one big 300-plus-page gripe fest. But Guisewite saves it by being entirely, humorously candid and displaying all her jagged faults- even the ones we've tried to hide in ourselves. ...more

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May 18, 2019 Danielle rated it did not like it

Shelves: before-you-ask-yes-she-is, memoirs, nonfiction, gender, calm-down-edgelord, comedy

I feel like I'm in a weird middle where I did grow up reading the funny pages (one of which was Cathy) while new strips were still being put out, but I hated this book.

This reminded me a lot of Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say in that both feel over-indulgent in the authors' cathartic acknowledgements that they are not good people, but they still continue to do the things they do. For example, there are countless passages about Guisewite's binge eating, but t ...more

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Mar 23, 2019 Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance rated it really liked it

Shelves: relationships, memoir, nonfiction, death, happiness, philosophy, strong-girls-strong-women, just-for-fun, essays, old-age

Cathy Guisewite, after decades penning the comic strip "Cathy," sets down her ink pen and takes up her word processor. It's a bit disconcerting at first, all the words, no pictures, lots of comedy, but drama, too. The angst is still there, roads untaken, be they the road to a happy marriage or simply the road to a contented hour with a child. If you are a Debbie or a Linda or a Cathy yourself, you will see your life in these pages, wrestling with the issues we women have been asked to take on, c ...more

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Jul 31, 2019 Julia rated it did not like it

This book is a 317 page long Cathy comic. I mean that in the worst way possible.

I don't know what I was expecting. I guess, as a person who was never a fan of the "Cathy" comic strips, but grew up seeing them in the paper alongside some of the classics, I hoped this book would be insight into the person behind it all. Maybe she would share some self awareness about how she spent 30+ years reducing her character to diets, dating and swimsuit shopping. She does not.

I almost stopped after the 5th This book is a 317 page long Cathy comic. I mean that in the worst way possible.

I don't know what I was expecting. I guess, as a person who was never a fan of the "Cathy" comic strips, but grew up seeing them in the paper alongside some of the classics, I hoped this book would be insight into the person behind it all. Maybe she would share some self awareness about how she spent 30+ years reducing her character to diets, dating and swimsuit shopping. She does not.

I almost stopped after the 5th essay, where she describes in detail how she commented on her 19 year old daughter's posture and admits to telling her to suck her stomach in when picking her up from the airport. I continued on, with hopes that she would get deeper a little further in. She does not get deep. Each essay is written as a bit, I guess? The problem is they aren't funny. I'm supposed to believe she truly dictated an entire essay from her phone while stuck in a sports bra in the changing room? Creative liberties are fine if the work is actually creative and the end result is funny. There's not much funny in this book.

There was one almost relatable essay, about the stuffed animals her daughter had loved as a child and left behind as she started college. Ultimately, her focus is on being goofy and seeming clever instead of authentic. And oh boy, here comes another essay where she makes it unclear if she's writing about raising children, or dealing with aging parents! What do you know, she's infantilizing her parents again! I guess every time she does that, it's supposed to be funny, but it left me feeling like she thinks her audience is pretty simple minded and easily amused. If that's the case (possible) then yes, she is on to something!

There's a lot more female stereotypes throughout: swimsuit shopping! shoes! spending most of a trip in Paris searching for a top to match a skirt she bought 11 years ago! eating food and then feeling shame! Ultimately, it just made me feel sad that instead of defining herself as something outside, or at least much deeper than the Cathy comic character, she wrote a new book of Cathy comics, with no art. AACK!

P.S. Gloria Steinman, are you okay? I see on the back of this book that you provided advance praise, saying that Cathy Guisewite "...has writen a book that will help free our lives to the very end". What kind of prison were you living in that made this book feel freeing to you? ...more

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May 25, 2019 Cathy rated it did not like it

I really didn't enjoy this book at all. Wasn't funny and found it boring. ...more

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Apr 11, 2019 David Wineberg rated it it was amazing

Cathy was a four panel daily comic strip, when newspaper comic strips were in their prime. Cathy Guisewite, its creator, did that job, alone in a room, for 34 years. Now, she has written Fifty Things That Are Not My Fault, a comic strip in prose. This time it is really and specifically autobiographical.

The book gives Guisewite the ability to broaden her stories, build up to her punchlines , and most of all, expose her humanity. Because Fifty Things is nothing if not a summary of all the internal Cathy was a four panel daily comic strip, when newspaper comic strips were in their prime. Cathy Guisewite, its creator, did that job, alone in a room, for 34 years. Now, she has written Fifty Things That Are Not My Fault, a comic strip in prose. This time it is really and specifically autobiographical.

The book gives Guisewite the ability to broaden her stories, build up to her punchlines , and most of all, expose her humanity. Because Fifty Things is nothing if not a summary of all the internal conflicts humans are capable of. The central column of the book, and the source of all her angst, is the three generation spread between her, her 19 year old daughter, and her 90 year old parents. Out of that Guisewite reaps a bounty of hypocrisy, irrationality, gullibility and most of all, self-consciousness.

She is self-conscious about her looks, her clothing, her size, her shape, her relationships to all three generations, and how she has, despite all efforts to the contrary, proven to be normal. She fights with her daughter, slamming her for every little thing, knowing all the while it is precisely the wrong thing to be doing. She interferes with her parents, who, after 90 years, know who they are and how they want to live. That is, without middle–aged daughters telling them to clear out the house, rearrange their belongings, move into assisted living, use medic alarm necklaces and other bothers to make their three daughters feel less burdened and guilty.

There is every possible foible covered in depth and with humor, from the gym to the mall, from child rearing to separation anxiety, from junk accumulation to more separation anxiety. She knows what’s wrong in every case, and in every case she goes ahead anyway. The contradictions are endless, and if there is a point to it all, it is that they are also universal.

Her humor is as delightful as ever. Her stories are beautifully structured with sarcasm, self-contradiction and self-pity. If truth be known, she is actually at fault for most of the fifty things, but it’s okay, we all are.

I found a line in her story of her probably 2000th trip to the mall that shows how delightful the whole book really is. She says of shopping: “There’s something magical about taking something that isn’t a problem yet home to meet the rest of my life.”

David Wineberg ...more

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Apr 25, 2019 Donna Davis rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Caucasian middle class Boomer fans of the comic.

Shelves: sociology, nonfiction, collections-anth, memoirs-biographies-autobio, womens-studies, primary-sources, blogged, humorous, reviewed, net-galley

Guisewite began publishing the comic strip “Cathy” in 1976, the year that I graduated high school. It was a time of high expectations for women, and the unrealistic suggestion that we would be able to “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man,” as Madison Avenue decreed, was daunting. Through her sharply perceptive humor, Guisewite let her peers know that it wasn’t just us; we were judging ourselves with an unfair yardstick. She kept it real, and in doing s ...more

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Jul 15, 2019 T K Nelson rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction

Readers will be disappointed if they are expecting this to be a continuation of or even to be in the same vein as the Cathy comic strip. This book is a series of reminiscences, most arising from the author reaching the sandwich generation years. Anyone who reviews the author as too whiny has likely not reached the age where you wake up one morning and overnight your feet have become too big for your shoes.

The book consists of an introduction and 48 essays. As with any memoir made up of a series ...more

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Jan 23, 2019 Robin rated it liked it

Shelves: life-lessons, memoirs, arcs, 2019list

If you are a fan of daily newspaper comics (for those who remember reading a physical newspaper), and you're in a certain age group (I'm in my 50s), you may recall a character in a strip called "Cathy." The strip depicts the life of a single woman, unsolicited advice from her mom and the unfailing affection of her little dog.

This book is a collection of essays written by the strip's creator reflecting on her life in recent years. She shares what it's like having a college-age daughter and aging ...more

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Mar 01, 2019 Suzze Tiernan rated it it was amazing

I loved everything about this book of essays from Cathy Guisewite, creator of the Cathy comic strip. I’ve went through all the same life stages as her, and laughed out loud constantly. Highly recommended!!

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Mar 22, 2019 Biblio Files (takingadayoff) rated it really liked it

It's easy to forget that comic strip artists are actually writers. They have to come up with a story line that plays out in tiny chapters over a week or more and keeps the audience coming back day after day. Cathy Guisewite quit her comic strip after thirty-four years in 2010. But apparently she kept writing and now we have a collection of essays about adopting and raising her daughter who is now in college, worrying about her parents as they enter their nineties, and mundane things like exercis ...more

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Mar 24, 2019 Jane rated it it was amazing

Shelves: goodreads-giveaway-wins, autobio-bio-memoir, favorite-reads

Thanks to Goodreads and Putnam for this ARC.

I have been a big Cathy fan since she started writing her comic strip 34 years ago (can it be that long)? and saved many of her strips that I totally related to. They are all yellowed now. I was so disheartened when she decided to stop writing it. She's had many comic strips books over the years but this is her first book of essays as she calls it and the only one I've read.

I learned so much about her, her writing, her family, her adopted daughter, an ...more

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Mar 07, 2019 Suzanne rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: first-reads, memoir, humor

I’ve missed you, Cathy! I’ve forgotten how much Cathy Guisewite could telegraph in a few comic panels. I have a small box filled with the detritus of my life. I’d call it mementos, but by now it’s been picked over so many times that the remains are slim. The diaries and day planners are filled with Cathy cartoons carefully taped into days where they were sufficient to explain all that I felt. This book somehow does the same for this new period of life, where parents and millennials seem to share ...more

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Aug 14, 2019 Jquick99 rated it did not like it

DNF.
The author is angry and whiny. And the things she goes off on, aren’t anything “new”...i.e...ranting about a woman’s beauty regimen is wayyy more than a man’s. A man doesn’t pluck his eyebrows! A man doesn’t blow dry his hair! A man doesn’t wear ear jewelry to match his outfit! A man doesn’t get Botox!
Ugh. No one is forcing you to do these things, which she goes on and on about.
I think the next chapter is about her getting “stuck” in a sports bra which is 7.41 minutes long...which is 7 min ...more

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May 21, 2019 Karen rated it it was amazing

Years ago, as a young woman working in downtown Chicago, I found a kindred spirit in the Cathy comic strip character. Laughing and nodding my head in agreement, I clipped the ones out of the newspaper that I related to the most (and there were many!) and stuck them everywhere so I could enjoy them again and again. Years later, along comes this gem of a book! Still funny and still relatable, Cathy Guisewite takes the reader on a journey of growing older, with aging parents and adult children in t ...more

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Dec 20, 2018 Caitlin rated it really liked it

Shelves: net-galley-arcs-early-releases

Cathy finds an outlet for her frustrations in this amusing debut essay collection. Struggling with aging and the stress of caring for both a teenage daughter and elderly parents, while also trying to live a life herself anyone can relate to her experiences and concerns. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found it incredibly relatable as I'm sure most of us would, she has a way of bringing real life "crud" and making it easier and smoother to digest for the reader. ...more

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Aug 13, 2019 Bonney Teti rated it it was ok

Cathy Guisewite's self esteem is still at the bottom of the office shredder... ...more

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Apr 29, 2019 Lesa rated it really liked it

Shelves: family-relationships, essays, humor

What better day than Mother's Day to review Cathy Guisewite's Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault? The essay collection, like Guisewite's "Cathy" cartoons, is filled with family relationships and guilt. It's subtitled "Essays from the Grown-Up Years", but anyone who read "Cathy" will recognize the adult and her relationship with her parents.

There are some differences. Even though "Cathy" wasn't Guisewite, there are enough similarities that many of us recognize the relationship with food, the body ...more

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Jan 14, 2020 Marian rated it liked it · review of another edition

3.5 stars.
I was a huge fan of the Cathy comic strip back in the 80s and 90s. I often felt like we were living parallel lives. I fell away from the strip, but was so glad to discover this book of essays.
Some of the pieces feel a little repetitive- not necessarily of each other, but more of the themes and challenges of times from so many years ago, and I sort of felt like some things really didn’t speak to me as much now. However, Cathy is still Cathy, or maybe I am still ME, and so there were a ...more

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Apr 04, 2019 Stephanie rated it it was amazing

Shelves: funny, want-to-re-read

I am the perfect demographic for this book, subtitled “Essays From the Grown-Up Years”: I loved the “Cathy” comic strip, and found it so frequently absolutely NAILED situations/relationships/dilemmas in my own life as a woman who spent a boatload of time in the 70s-80s-90s reveling in the feminist energy I felt all around me while also struggling with issues related to self-esteem, body image, gender equality, etc.

Not being a mother, I haven’t really shared the mother-daughter experiences such a ...more

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May 20, 2019 Barbara rated it really liked it

I read this book following a recommendation from a friend. Together we swapped phone calls as we laughed about the shared experiences in this very funny book. It brought back many memories of times which I thought no one but me had gone through. I laughed out load and even shed a few tears as Cathy Guisewite walked us through her own aging process.

A great example of the circle of life and a gentle reminder for us all that: “mirror mirror on the wall, I’ve turned into my mother after all.”

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Aug 17, 2020 Eric rated it liked it · review of another edition

Liked it, but just barely. I cannot recall the last time I saw a "Cathy" comic strip, and might not recognize one without a title, but I have warm recollections that they were enjoyable. This memoir, although thoroughly non-objectionable, will probably fade even more quickly, even the bits that stirred some enjoyable reaction at this reading. ...more

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Oct 15, 2020 Shelbe added it

I have some issues with the author's narration. And some MASSIVE issues with her 90 year old mom's narration. I was never a devoted fan of the comic strip, Cathy. Having said all that, it all kind of held together in a warm, charming, humorous, sad, reflection of so many women's lives. If you can get past the narration, I recommend this. ...more

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Apr 07, 2019 P R rated it it was amazing

As a woman of a certain age, I read the "Cathy" comic strip for years and loved it. This is like coming back home to an agreeable and comfortable friend. So many things I have experienced personally or my friends are going through - having a daughter head out to college and how to treat her as the independent young woman that she is; parents who freak out at figuring out: 1. a new remote, 2. a tv that can pause a live program, 3. food that lives in the freezer forever; living more than a thousan ...more

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Apr 17, 2019 Kylie rated it it was amazing

Made me smile, feel nostalgic and tear up.

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Apr 07, 2019 Lenore Duffy rated it really liked it

I’ve been searching for a laugh out loud book and this one definitely fit the bill.
Those of us squished between caring for our kids and caring for our parents would especially enjoy this book. Laughed at the dressing room experiences and visits with parents, both totally relatable and funny.

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Apr 05, 2019 Debi rated it liked it

Cathy was one of the few comic strips I read for most of its lifespan. I enjoyed and was able to identify with much of Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault as I did with the comic strip. It was nice to hear from Cathy Guisewite again. ...more

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About Cathy Guisewite

Cathy Guisewite

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Cathy Lee Guisewite is the cartoonist who created the comic strip Cathy in 1976. Her main cartoon character (Cathy) is a career woman faced with the issues and challenges of work, relationships, her mother and food, or as Guisewite herself put it in one of her strips, "The four basic guilt groups."

Guisewite was born in Dayton, Ohio and grew up in Midland, Michigan. She attended the University of M ...more