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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

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4.39  ·  Rating details ·  66,520 ratings  ·  6,497 reviews
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything ...more
Hardcover, 432 pages
Published April 2nd 2019 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
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Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb - author, non-fiction

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Lucille Zimmerman Here is my review:

This book grabbed me on Page 1. I enjoyed every moment of it. Perhaps it's because I'm a counselor, but I'm guessing anyone with…more
Here is my review:

This book grabbed me on Page 1. I enjoyed every moment of it. Perhaps it's because I'm a counselor, but I'm guessing anyone with any amount of curiosity about human behavior would love it!

I think there was only once concept that was new to me. The rest was very familiar. Maybe it's because I read so many counseling books (including Yalom's books). I love to learn.

What amazed me is that Gottlieb could write about these scenarios, even if they were disguised, without getting into ethical trouble. She was very graphic and detailed. I'm sure her clients recognized themselves even if she disguised them. I'm not criticizing Gottlieb, but I'm truly amazed she could do this without losing her license. Someone help me out here...

I've written two books, and have described scenarios in very vague terms, disguising what I wrote, even when I had the permissions of my clients. I guess I'm wondering what the line is these days :-)

What makes the book especially fun is that Gottlieb is so vulnerable about her own situation that took her into seeing a counselor as she wrote this book.

I highly recommend this one.(less)
Patricia The print version does address it. Written permission from all patients and changed specifics to protect identities but still stay true to spirit of…moreThe print version does address it. Written permission from all patients and changed specifics to protect identities but still stay true to spirit of the stories.(less)

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Average rating 4.39  · 
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 ·  66,520 ratings  ·  6,497 reviews


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Jessica Jeffers
Jan 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
If you've followed me here on Goodreads for any length of time, you probably know that I am incredibly passionate about mental health advocacy. It's something that we need to talk about more, so we can break down the stigma surrounding it and more people can pursue help. So it should not be a surprise that I was excited to read a memoir about a therapist pursuing therapy to help her deal with her own issues—or that I absolutely loved the book.

These days, I'm pretty open about the fact that I see
...more
Cindy Pham
Jan 31, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I read the first 2/3 of the physical book and teetered between 4 or 5 stars before I switched to the audiobook in the last 1/3 and ended up crying in a few of the chapters, solidifying the 5-star rating. The author comes across as genuine and insightful in her writing, and the narrator does such a good job at sounding compassionate and patient, as if I were listening to the therapist herself. She wrote a lot of insights that resonated with me, like how we often stay in our negative mindset ...more
Justin Tate
Jan 23, 2020 rated it really liked it
Face it, we could all use therapy. This memoir pulls back the curtain on the benefits of therapy, the stigmas, our hesitancy to open up about mental health, and also becomes a celebration of life.

The setup is that Lori, a therapist herself, experiences a life-shattering breakup and decides to start therapy mostly for selfish reasons--getting someone to agree that her ex-boyfriend is a jerk. Juxtaposed with that are the stories of Lori’s clients and their growth. While Lori experiences growth,
...more
Elyse  Walters
Apr 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: audiobook
Audiobook…narrated by
Brittany Pressley... ( Brittany was excellent). I can see reasons for owing a hard copy as well as the Audiobook.

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist who writes a “Dear Therapist” advice column. She lives in Los Angeles. She attended Yale and Stanford University. She has an impressive life/ career resume.

We are taken into her therapy sessions with her clients. We also walk through the door with Lori for sessions with her therapist.

This book is the real deal.... not cheesy-
...more
Thomas
Aug 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
A warm, engaging, and funny book about a therapist who sees a therapist after her boyfriend breaks up with her. I so appreciate Maybe You Should Talk to Someone for further destigmatizing therapy. I read somewhere that my generation is the “therapy generation” and yet so much stigma and misinformation surrounding therapy persists. Gottlieb describes her experience in therapy for herself and the therapy she provides to a few different patients with compassion and humor. Her writing style is ...more
Anne Bogel
Jan 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed Gottlieb's previous book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough when it came out many moons ago, and was delighted to see her new release. (It was also fun to see where life had taken her in the intervening years.) Now a psychotherapist, in these pages Gottlieb gets to the heart of what matters in life: how do we grow, how do we change, how do we connect with each other—and how can we do it all more effectively?

She explores human nature through the lens of psychotherapy,
...more
j e w e l s
Jun 18, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: audio
ONE STAR AUDIO

It's not you, it's me.

Anne Bogel enthusiastically raved about this book on her weekly podcast What Should I Read Next. She recommended it in the same breath as Ask Again, Yes and I am obsessed with that book. So, despite my misgivings about listening to all the therapist-speak, I used a precious Audible credit on Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed.

Lori Gottlieb has had an interesting life working in Hollywood first as a tv producer
...more
JanB
May 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audiobook, 2019-reads

What is therapy like? The author breaks down the walls and gives us a peek behind closed doors into her sessions with clients as well as sessions with her own therapist, who she consults after a devastating break-up. We also get glimpses into the author's education, career, and her personal life.

I felt as if I got to know her and her patients and I became invested in their lives. Details were changed for confidentiality, but the spirit of the stories remained true and the problems were real. I
...more
Lola
Nov 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
There is so much humanity in this book.
Allison
I'm really not sure what to say about this book. The positives: I like that it is open and honest about mental health, therapy, self-love, and facing our fears (even if we're unaware what those fears are!) More books with a focus on these themes need to be written! I felt close to each character as I got to know them and truly cared about the outcome of each of their stories.

The not-so-positives: I'm not really sure what the "point" of this book is. It seemed like a journal that the author
...more
Marina
Apr 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I'm writing this review to see if I can make sense of my experience with this book. Even though I found myself immersed in it for days, and making as much time as possible to read it, the experience ended up not being completely satisfying for a few reasons.

My main complaint is: the stories are real but are supposedly disguised enough to protect her clients' privacy... so they aren't real. I was reading about those compelling characters and wondering what percentage of what she tells is the
...more
✨    jamieson   ✨
I didn't really have many expectations going into this except that I had heard a few good things about it on Booktube. But it's a book I ended up telling everyone I know about as I was reading it.

This follows Lori, a therapist who goes to therapy herself after her boyfriend breaks up with her and she finds herself unable to cope with it. What was supposed to be one or two emergency sessions leads into Lori discovering her grief over the break-up might have more root issues than she expected.
...more
Renee (itsbooktalk)
Apr 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Ever have a book that just completely blows you away? This was THAT book for me!....

I listened to the audio which was perfection. The narrator was one of the best I’ve ever listened to but I had to have a print copy for highlighting & putting on my 5 bookshelf.

The set up: LA therapist Lori Gottlieb finds herself in need of her own therapist, so we get alternating chapters with her and her wise therapist Wendell interspersed with chapters of Lori’s sessions with her clients. I was SO
...more
Mehrsa
Apr 06, 2019 rated it did not like it
I rarely give a book one-star because I don't want to be mean, but this book was a complete waste of my time and it had such great reviews from so many people. I feel like I was cheated out of however long it took me to read (well, actually listen). If you want to read about psychotherapy, go to the real sources. If you want to read a memoir, go read a good one. I just don't even know what the point of this was.
Brandice
Feb 10, 2020 rated it really liked it
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is by therapist Lori Gottlieb who experienced an unexpected breakup in her 40s and decided to go to therapy herself as part of her healing process. In this book, she shares her thoughts and experiences as well as the journeys of a handful of her own patients, each working through different challenges.

Lori dipped into a few careers before finding her calling in therapy. I appreciated that she was selective in choosing her own therapist as well. While there are
...more
Schizanthus Nerd
Do you know how difficult it is to whisper an ugly cry? I do. There I was at 3:30am, relaxed and enjoying the insight and surprising humour of this book, caught up in a ‘just one more chapter’ loop. Then, out of nowhere, I was ugly crying as quietly as possible so I didn’t wake up the sensible people in my home, those who actually sleep when it’s considered an acceptable time to do so. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly ‘out of nowhere’; I knew it was coming at some stage with that particular patient ...more
Olive
May 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Check out my review on Booktube: https://youtu.be/tIlGCRTgmg8
Jennifer Blankfein
Sep 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Stayed home for two days to read this insightful book - couldn’t put it down! Needed tissues multiple times; I cried for every character- Lori Gottlieb writes with heart, vulnerability and truth while giving us a look behind the scenes of a therapist’s life. So much to think about.

I loved and learned so much reading Maybe You Should Talk To Someone. Heading to therapy when life throws you a curveball may be just the thing you need to face your problems head on. It is a process, not a quick fix,
...more
Antigone
Jul 25, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: memoir-biography
In an account that could easily be subtitled Therapists Are People, Too, Lori Gottlieb journeys through her experience as a Los Angeles psychotherapist practicing amidst the misery of a sudden and unexpected break with the man she had planned to marry. This necessitates her own entry into treatment and provides the reader with a unique double-field of revelation - the mechanics of analysis as encountered from both sides of that metaphorical couch.

Gottlieb is a fine writer. The many years she's
...more
Tania
Not my normal genre - I don't read much non-fiction and no self-help, but I loved this.

I adore books that make me laugh and cry, teach me things and make me think about stuff I've never thought of before. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone ticked all of the above boxes.

Lori Gottlieb shows us that to make mistakes is human, and that we should have more compassion for others AND ourselves.

I loved that we got to know the author, her therapist and her selected patients on a deeply personal level, and
...more
Lisa
Aug 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audiobook
[4+] I doubt that I would have read this if my book club had not chosen it as our selection. The idea of listening to a therapist talk about her patients doesn't appeal to me. But I enjoyed every minute! I like Gottlieb's writing style; she has an excellent sense of pacing and draws the reader into her patients' lives and her own life without making the book feel voyeuristic.

I was very moved by several of the stories. I feel that one of the reasons the book worked so well was the openness
...more
Holly
Aug 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a fascinating look into the world of a therapist and how therapy works. Sprinkled throughout the book are snippets of psychology, including explanations of defense mechanisms, stages of change, tasks of mourning, and brief glimpses of the contributions of Freud, Erikson, Rogers, Franklin, and others to the field of psychology. It’s almost like getting a psychology education. Profound insights about human nature abound:

...people who are demanding, critical, and
...more
Holly Brown
Feb 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
As a therapist and a writer myself, I have immense respect for what's involved in this type of book: how to reveal herself but not too much; how to reveal her patients but not too much; how to reveal the profession but not too much. Really, it's an incredible high-wire act and Lori Gottlieb performs it beautifully. Insightful and moving without pandering or being gratuitous...I loved it. Thank you, Lori, for not just an incredible reading experience but an incredible life experience.
Laura
Jul 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was an absolutely fantastic book, and one that proves that the right nonfiction read can be as good or better than fiction.

This is the (true) story of one therapist's journey through her own personal crisis, which drove her to therapy for the first time outside of her own therapeutic training. Along the way, we also travel with several of her patients through their own experiences in her consultation room.

It was absolutely riveting from start to finish and kept me up too late almost every
...more
Gretchen Rubin
Fascinating! This book has generated a huge amount of buzz and rightly so. I was surprised to see myself mentioned—that was an odd experience.
Carol (Reading Ladies)
Exploring mental health, finding meaning in life, and repairing broken relationships…

Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist and national advice columnist, shares a behind-the-scenes look into her work as a therapist. She also shares what it was like when she sought out therapy for herself.

“Most of what we say to ourselves we’d never say to people we love or care about, like our friends or children. In therapy, we learn to pay close attention to those voices in our heads so that we can learn a better
...more
christina
Dec 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Absolutely wonderful. In terms of a therapeutic experience, it fell smack in the middle between Eat, Pray, Love and Quiet for me. When you close the book, you can't go back to who you were before. A check mark on every page.
mindful.librarian ☀️
MY FAVORITE BOOK OF 2019 ...more
Jessica Woodbury
May 20, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, memoir
I have been in therapy a few times, but mostly I'm fascinated by the concept of therapy. That this book gave me the opportunity to see a little more of how therapists think, what they do, and how they see their patients was a huge incentive. And I did learn a lot of that! The combination of Gottlieb's work as a therapist and her work as a patient is not fully successful, but more than that, by the end of it instead of feeling more interested and inspired about therapy I felt a little turned off ...more
David Yoon
Dec 31, 2019 rated it really liked it
The "presenting problem" for the patient is a breakup. The man she was going to marry has suddenly announced that he does not see a future together, especially not one that includes the patient's 10 year old son. Patient is incredulous considering her son has always been a part of the relationship. Patient has a hard time focusing at work, has resorted to Google stalking her ex, and is eager to be validated in her opinion that said boyfriend is a world-class jerk.

Patient is also practicing
...more
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LORI GOTTLIEB is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE, which is being adapted for TV with Eva Longoria. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic's weekly "Dear Therapist" advice column and contributes regularly to the New York Times. She is sought-after in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This ...more
“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.” 102 likes
“We tend to think that the future happens later, but we're creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists.” 71 likes
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