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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

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4.41  ·  Rating details ·  16,503 ratings  ·  2,137 reviews
From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world--where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).

One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes
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Hardcover, 432 pages
Published April 2nd 2019 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
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Lucille Zimmerman Here is my review:

This book grabbed me on Page 1. I enjoyed every moment of it. Perhaps it's because I'm a counselor, but I'm guessing anyone with…more
Here is my review:

This book grabbed me on Page 1. I enjoyed every moment of it. Perhaps it's because I'm a counselor, but I'm guessing anyone with any amount of curiosity about human behavior would love it!

I think there was only once concept that was new to me. The rest was very familiar. Maybe it's because I read so many counseling books (including Yalom's books). I love to learn.

What amazed me is that Gottlieb could write about these scenarios, even if they were disguised, without getting into ethical trouble. She was very graphic and detailed. I'm sure her clients recognized themselves even if she disguised them. I'm not criticizing Gottlieb, but I'm truly amazed she could do this without losing her license. Someone help me out here...

I've written two books, and have described scenarios in very vague terms, disguising what I wrote, even when I had the permissions of my clients. I guess I'm wondering what the line is these days :-)

What makes the book especially fun is that Gottlieb is so vulnerable about her own situation that took her into seeing a counselor as she wrote this book.

I highly recommend this one.(less)
Patricia The print version does address it. Written permission from all patients and changed specifics to protect identities but still stay true to spirit of…moreThe print version does address it. Written permission from all patients and changed specifics to protect identities but still stay true to spirit of the stories.(less)

Community Reviews

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4.41  · 
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 ·  16,503 ratings  ·  2,137 reviews


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Jessica Jeffers
Jan 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
If you've followed me here on Goodreads for any length of time, you probably know that I am incredibly passionate about mental health advocacy. It's something that we need to talk about more, so we can break down the stigma surrounding it and more people can pursue help. So it should not be a surprise that I was excited to read a memoir about a therapist pursuing therapy to help her deal with her own issues—or that I absolutely loved the book.

These days, I'm pretty open about the fact that I see
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Elyse Walters
Apr 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: audiobook
Audiobook…narrated by
Brittany Pressley... ( Brittany was excellent). I can see reasons for owing a hard copy as well as the Audiobook.

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist who writes a “Dear Therapist” advice column. She lives in Los Angeles. She attended Yale and Stanford University. She has an impressive life/ career resume.

We are taken into her therapy sessions with her clients. We also walk through the door with Lori for sessions with her therapist.

This book is the real deal.... not cheesy-
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JanB
May 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019-reads, audiobook

What is therapy like? The author breaks down the walls and gives us a peek behind closed doors into her sessions with clients as well as sessions with her own therapist, who she consults after a devastating break-up. We also get glimpses into the author's education, career, and her personal life.

I felt as if I got to know her and her patients and I became invested in their lives. Details were changed for confidentiality, but the spirit of the stories remained true and the problems were real. I c
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j e w e l s
Jun 18, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: audio
ONE STAR AUDIO

It's not you, it's me.

Anne Bogel enthusiastically raved about this book on her weekly podcast What Should I Read Next. She recommended it in the same breath as Ask Again, Yes and I am obsessed with that book. So, despite my misgivings about listening to all the therapist-speak, I used a precious Audible credit on Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed.

Lori Gottlieb has had an interesting life working in Hollywood first as a tv producer
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Allison
I'm really not sure what to say about this book. The positives: I like that it is open and honest about mental health, therapy, self-love, and facing our fears (even if we're unaware what those fears are!) More books with a focus on these themes need to be written! I felt close to each character as I got to know them and truly cared about the outcome of each of their stories.

The not-so-positives: I'm not really sure what the "point" of this book is. It seemed like a journal that the author late
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Renee (itsbooktalk)
Apr 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Ever have a book that just completely blows you away? This was THAT book for me!....

I listened to the audio which was perfection. The narrator was one of the best I’ve ever listened to but I had to have a print copy for highlighting & putting on my 5⭐ bookshelf. ⠀⠀

The set up: LA therapist Lori Gottlieb finds herself in need of her own therapist, so we get alternating chapters with her and her wise therapist Wendell interspersed with chapters of Lori’s sessions with her clients. I was SO inve
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Olive (abookolive)
Check out my review on Booktube: https://youtu.be/tIlGCRTgmg8
✨    jamieson   ✨
Jun 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
I didn't really have many expectations going into this except that I had heard a few good things about it on Booktube. But it's a book I ended up telling everyone I know about as I was reading it.

This follows Lori, a therapist who goes to therapy herself after her boyfriend breaks up with her and she finds herself unable to cope with it. What was supposed to be one or two emergency sessions leads into Lori discovering her grief over the break-up might have more root issues than she expected. To
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Marina
Apr 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I'm writing this review to see if I can make sense of my experience with this book. Even though I found myself immersed in it for days, and making as much time as possible to read it, the experience ended up not being completely satisfying for a few reasons.

My main complaint is: the stories are real but are supposedly disguised enough to protect her clients' privacy... so they aren't real. I was reading about those compelling characters and wondering what percentage of what she tells is the trut
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Antigone
Jul 25, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: memoir-biography
In an account that could easily be subtitled Therapists Are People, Too, Lori Gottlieb journeys through her experience as a Los Angeles psychotherapist practicing amidst the misery of a sudden and unexpected break with the man she had planned to marry. This necessitates her own entry into treatment and provides the reader with a unique double-field of revelation - the mechanics of analysis as encountered from both sides of that metaphorical couch.

Gottlieb is a fine writer. The many years she's s
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Mehrsa
Apr 06, 2019 rated it did not like it
I rarely give a book one-star because I don't want to be mean, but this book was a complete waste of my time and it had such great reviews from so many people. I feel like I was cheated out of however long it took me to read (well, actually listen). If you want to read about psychotherapy, go to the real sources. If you want to read a memoir, go read a good one. I just don't even know what the point of this was.
Schizanthus
Jul 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Do you know how difficult it is to whisper an ugly cry? I do. There I was at 3:30am, relaxed and enjoying the insight and surprising humour of this book, caught up in a ‘just one more chapter’ loop. Then, out of nowhere, I was ugly crying as quietly as possible so I didn’t wake up the sensible people in my home, those who actually sleep when it’s considered an acceptable time to do so. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly ‘out of nowhere’; I knew it was coming at some stage with that particular patient bu ...more
Laura
Jul 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was an absolutely fantastic book, and one that proves that the right nonfiction read can be as good or better than fiction.

This is the (true) story of one therapist's journey through her own personal crisis, which drove her to therapy for the first time outside of her own therapeutic training. Along the way, we also travel with several of her patients through their own experiences in her consultation room.

It was absolutely riveting from start to finish and kept me up too late almost every
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Holly Brown
Feb 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
As a therapist and a writer myself, I have immense respect for what's involved in this type of book: how to reveal herself but not too much; how to reveal her patients but not too much; how to reveal the profession but not too much. Really, it's an incredible high-wire act and Lori Gottlieb performs it beautifully. Insightful and moving without pandering or being gratuitous...I loved it. Thank you, Lori, for not just an incredible reading experience but an incredible life experience.
christina
Dec 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Absolutely wonderful. In terms of a therapeutic experience, it fell smack in the middle between Eat, Pray, Love and Quiet for me. When you close the book, you can't go back to who you were before. A check mark on every page.
Brandie
May 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is a must read. It will stay with me for a long time.
Jessica Woodbury
May 20, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, memoir
I have been in therapy a few times, but mostly I'm fascinated by the concept of therapy. That this book gave me the opportunity to see a little more of how therapists think, what they do, and how they see their patients was a huge incentive. And I did learn a lot of that! The combination of Gottlieb's work as a therapist and her work as a patient is not fully successful, but more than that, by the end of it instead of feeling more interested and inspired about therapy I felt a little turned off ...more
Genevieve Trono
Apr 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
I was blown away by this book. Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who shares her insights not only about her professional experience but her own journey through therapy. This book helps normalize therapy for everyone, and her ability to share the profound growth both she and her patients experienced was so honest and refreshing.

While Gottlieb includes many important psychological concepts, her writing is clear and conversational and easy for anyone to engage with. I found that there was a perfect bal
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Holly
Aug 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a fascinating look into the world of a therapist and how therapy works. Sprinkled throughout the book are snippets of psychology, including explanations of defense mechanisms, stages of change, tasks of mourning, and brief glimpses of the contributions of Freud, Erikson, Rogers, Franklin, and others to the field of psychology. It’s almost like getting a psychology education. Profound insights about human nature abound:

...people who are demanding, critical, and
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Amy
Jun 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I decided to use my Book-of-the-Month credit on, "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," and I'm so glad that I did. Although I am not a big nonfiction reader (and maybe you aren't too?), I found this book to read as easy as fiction while being incredibly compelling and thought-provoking. It is the type of book that you read and then immediately hand off to someone who might need the sage advice and wisdom of a good therapist too.

What makes this story unique is that the therapist, Lori, is now in a
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Kelly
Brittany Pressley is one of my favorite audiobook narrators, and this book sort of sealed that for me. Gottleib's exploration of therapy -- both from the side of the therapist and that of the patient -- is smart, insightful, and deeply humane. At times a little longer than necessary, but otherwise, wholly immersive. I loved hearing about Gottlieb's patients (who are composites of course) and I especially appreciated her emphasis on how there's no hierarchy of pain. I think too often we don't tak ...more
Lisa
Aug 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audiobook
[4+] I doubt that I would have read this if my book club had not chosen it as our selection. The idea of listening to a therapist talk about her patients doesn't appeal to me. But I enjoyed every minute! I like Gottlieb's writing style; she has an excellent sense of pacing and draws the reader into her patients' lives and her own life without making the book feel voyeuristic.

I was very moved by several of the stories. I feel that one of the reasons the book worked so well was the openness Gottl
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Kat Leache
Jan 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Reading it was like the therapy I can't afford. She's so smart, so humanistic, so insightful. Bursting with compelling stories and brilliant observations about the relationship between trauma and dysfunction. Loved it so much.
Katie/Doing Dewey
Apr 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: aprilff
Summary: This memoir was a fascinating look at being a therapist and included many engaging, emotional stories.

Author Lori Gottlieb is an experienced therapist, but that doesn't mean she never needs a therapist herself! After a surprising break-up leaves her sneaking in a good cry between patients, she realizes it's time to talk to someone. This is the story of how she builds a helpful rapport with her therapist and of the patients she's helping at the same time. From her perspective, we get to
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Kari Ann Sweeney
Jun 20, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone made me realize that perhaps Maybe I Should Talk To Someone. I read it on audio and it was an excellent, eye-opening experience. I loved the way the author tackled the topic of therapy from the perspective of both a therapist and a client. This book made me laugh out loud. It made me clutch my heart and cry 'big fat gulping tears' of empathy. It made me intentionally reflect on myself and those I love. So good.

PS- I pride myself on being able to scour the intern
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 Sarah Lumos
What does my therapist think of me? What is their life like outside of work? Does my therapist go to a therapist?

It is hard for me to put into words how much I liked this book. Although I am still an undergraduate student, my long-term goal is to attend graduate school and become a Registered Social Worker. Similar to Gottlieb, I want to provide individual therapy to clients. To me, there is something beautiful about being able to sit with others during their most vulnerable moments. I thought
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Marika
Dec 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
Author Lori Gottlieb puts a face on talk therapy and humanizes therapists. From where you sit in the therapist's office to awkward silence...what can can they possibly mean? Writing about therapy crosses so many sacred boundaries, yet Lori is very careful to disguise her patients and protects their anonymity.
Lori also writes about her personal struggles and how she seeks a therapist to speak to. In addition to being a psychotherapist, Lori is also New York Times bestselling author, and writes th
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Tracy
Apr 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Everyone should take the time to read this. Gottlieb brilliantly describes how therapy works, why we all could use some, and what therapy DOESN'T do using her own therapy as a major example. I was fascinated with the personal stories, hers and those of her patients, but even better was how she tied these stories to general theories used in therapy and the importance of good mental health. It's a difficult topic, and I'm thrilled with a book that talks about how beneficial therapy can be for most ...more
Joan He
Jul 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing
this is a nonfic that I would recommend to everyone, even if you're like me and don't consume much of the genre. such a life affirming book
Janssen
Jul 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: memoirs, non-fiction, 2019
This was so good - I can't stop talking about it!
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LORI GOTTLIEB is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE, which is being adapted for TV with Eva Longoria. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic's weekly "Dear Therapist" advice column and contributes regularly to the New York Times. She is sought-after in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Mornin ...more
“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.” 18 likes
“Follow your envy - it shows you what you want.” 17 likes
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