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The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face

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Written by a foremost Christian men's leader, this powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and the means to bring about lasting change in their lives.

400 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1989

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Patrick Morley

70 books41 followers

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5 stars
533 (36%)
4 stars
464 (31%)
3 stars
334 (22%)
2 stars
101 (6%)
1 star
25 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
Profile Image for Marty.
Author 2 books38 followers
September 3, 2018
I don't know where to start. This book didn't age well. Even the update can't save it from deep misogynistic undertones. For a book about all men's struggles I felt like I needed to be watching more sports to get this. It's wisdom seemed pretty run-of-the-mill Conservative Christian. Growing up in the church there wasn't much new here to me. A good friend of mine, a man, gave me this. I read it for him. Because I love him and care about him as a friend. And because he reads books I recommend (and write). I respect him.

Here's the thing, I think there are probably a lot of men who are sucked into a lot of these problems. I think especially men in the US are suckered into this sort of "don't feel things, suppress your true self, be tough" machoism. They're not inwardly discerning. They don't think about their motivations often. They aren't self-reflective and they aren't self-aware. And there is an even smaller subset of Christian men who are like that. But...that ain't me. Personally, I'm a poet, I'm a writer. I'm a creative. I don't need a golf game or a corner office to feel like a man. That sounds completely absurd to me. I hope this helps some people figure out some practical spirituality, because sure why not, great. But there are a lot better publications out there that don't struggle from 1940's mad-men office syndrome.

There were a number of lines that I wanted to include in my review, because I found them so off-putting and, frankly, stupid. But it doesn't seem worth it to go back and skim the book for it now.

I guess when it comes to Christian-life type books I want something with deeper insights. The examples are sometimes so trite they come off as nothing more than holier-than-thou pulpit gags. I've heard them all a zillion times. But, I don't know, maybe Patrick Morely is holier than I am. Maybe I want to read a book about the Christian-life from a "bad guy" I don't know. I don't know. The hell do I know? I didn't like this book.

It has some VERY abrasive passages about suicide & depression. Morley doesn't seem to be anywhere near as competent or researched as he could be before writing about sensitive topics--especially for a man reading this book who's LITERALLY picking it up because it seems like a book that could help him solve problems. This is also flooded with a host of "men should be the breadwinners, women should raise the family" "don't hire the attractive woman because you'll have an affair with your secretary!" (gasp, oh really? I will????) Ugh.

I stuck this out cause I love my friend. But damn, I was expecting a lot more from this read.
Profile Image for Nicolas.
2,943 reviews7 followers
November 13, 2015
This book is firmly planted in the 1980's. It is in desperate need of a revised edition. Like any devotional it was hit-and-miss for me. It had some segments that really put things in perspective for me and others that just didn't apply at all. Overall I think it's worth the read, but again, please update it.
40 reviews
April 21, 2021
Truthfully I never finished it but went halfway. Don’t get me wrong this book might be good for some but for me I felt like all of this is stuff I have already heard these years in the faith. Everything up to this point has seemed surface level and old fashioned in certain ways. But from all the shout outs about this book and the references he has didn’t live up to the hype. But again I won’t say everyone else will feel my way.
Profile Image for Brandon Perry.
134 reviews5 followers
January 9, 2013
Probably one of the best books I've read so far. Every topic in here is a real struggle in manhood, and I believe the author gives great pointers on how to keep our true focus on Christ. Then he finishes the book with a great chapter on accountability partners, a hard thing for almost all men as we are afraid to be vulnerable. Highly recommend anyone who is looking to make an authentic change in their life to not just read this book, but study it.
Profile Image for Adam Jarvis.
143 reviews4 followers
May 11, 2023
Meh, it was ok. I couldn’t really relate to all of his “you know how it is, guys” examples. Part of it may be because I have no background in business. But only part. I felt like he was writing to his buddy, but I didn’t get the book, because I don’t know the author.

A lot of this stuff was outdated, and/or irrelevant to me. Some of his theories have been debunked. Oh well.

It wasn’t a bad book. There were a few things I’m sure some men found helpful.
114 reviews
March 2, 2019
Excellent book! Every man should read this book, it will help you be a better man. This is a book I will buy for others.
Profile Image for Ruan Swart.
2 reviews1 follower
April 6, 2021
This book has helped me look introspectively into my life, analysing the 24 problem areas men face throughout life, myself included. The reflection questions are fantastic, and allowed me to think of how to apply the principles into my life. I could recommend this book to anyone seeking guidance on how to navigate life. This is definitely a book I will continue to read again and again.
13 reviews3 followers
October 26, 2020
It is a great book to work through with some other guys! Talking about the issues rather than just reading them helps put them into perspective in your own life!
Profile Image for Jeremy Saldivar.
88 reviews1 follower
April 9, 2021
I was given this book by my wife’s foster dad. I didn’t think much of it and kept it in my closet for a couple of years. I just recently made it a point to read it, and man, I’m glad I did. Mr. Morley breaks down twenty four issues that plague men in their daily walk with Christ: ranging from anger, pride, to accountability. He uses reason and even more importantly, the word of God to get his point across.

In a time when I am struggling in many areas that were discussed, and am currently working on my faith, this book has been a blessing. I could relate to a lot of what Mr. Morley spoke on and I believe God used his words to speak to me and reveal what I need to work on. Ive learned so much and am kind of disappointed that I finished it. I truly tried to take my time studying each chapter, trying to be honest with myself, and make sure I answer the study questions with accuracy regardless of how many times I was shocked at my real truth.

I think every man in this world should read this book at one point in time. I did, when I needed to the most. God is Good. Amen.
Profile Image for Craig.
79 reviews4 followers
January 24, 2013
Not only is this a great book for men, but I think women would gain a lot from reading this book as well. Although written specifically for men, some of the principles are applicable to women as well. Further, I recommend this to wives, as I think it will help you better understand what goes on in the mind of your husband. This book kicked my butt in many place and challenged me. I will for sure revisit this book and work my way through the application questions at the end of each chapter. I also look forward to reading the follow up books put out by the organization Man in the Mirror.
Profile Image for Douglas.
181 reviews1 follower
May 29, 2008
Excellent. A book for the Christian man to help him live up to his role.
Profile Image for Chadster.
6 reviews
September 29, 2009
Wow, this book reveals many truths... all men who are serious about growing as a Godly man should read this book.
Profile Image for Truman Rexti.
2 reviews13 followers
January 19, 2016
A must read for every christian man. Get the 2014 version (update from this version)
This my current daily bread. It speaks to every man.
Profile Image for Mason Frierson.
328 reviews25 followers
April 4, 2022
I think the basis of a lot of this book is good. Obviously it has a great foundation in Biblical principles. I definitely agree that the 24 problems are 100% problems that men face and it is one of the reasons that I found myself picking it up. At many points in the book, I found myself shaking my head "yes, yes, yes" and then get to a point where I start thinking "hmmm, no". I have read several of Morley's books and listened to his MIM podcast quite a bit and some of his personal views and interpretations in my view are just a bit off base. I am a devout Christian so we are on the same page there, but some of Morley's observations just rubbed me the wrong way.

One example is the chapter on fear. He claims that Christ felt no fear in the garden of Gethsemane. This might be a matter of semantics but he takes a hard-line that Christ in no way felt fear. First of all, Christ dropped to his knees and begged God to pass the cup from him as He literally sweat blood. Do I think Christ was afraid? He could have been. He was human and He was sweating blood. I don't think He was consumed by fear. I also could be wrong and he could have not been afraid. But based on what the Bible says, I think the evidence at best could go either way. I just don't think an author should take a hard-line stance on what Christ was feeling to make a shaky point.

I would say that overall, the problems themselves are a good view on everything that a man will face in our world today. Morley has good advice on a lot of points. As I said, I not only found myself scratching my head during this book, but do so in his other books as well as his talks. We are using this book for our men's group and the material is good, but we often have a lot of debate on his viewpoints. If anything, I think it's good to get a variety of perspectives.
13 reviews
July 18, 2019
Overall, helpful reminders for life. Mostly practical application of scripture, lots of Proverbs. Worth keeping on the bookshelf for reference during times of struggle. I did have issue with a couple of recurring themes.
1) a few passages urging readers to “claim” a certain Scripture as a promise. Both references took the verse out of its intended context. It appeared the author was almost trying to force God to honor a perceived promise.
2) in the financial section...citing the 10% tithe as a standard for believers. This comes from the Old Testament Jewish law which was basically an income tax system, and is not applicable to our giving currently. It was a actually much more than 10%. Not that it’s wrong to do, but we are only commanded to be generous and give cheerfully what is in our heart to give. No percentages or set numbers are commanded. Supporting pastors, the needy, the sick, the widows is the command. Some “church” institutions push this false command to build giant extravagant buildings and have enormous staffs and multiple programs. The true church are the followers of Christ, not the institutions set up in his country. We are not understanding giving biblically, and the churches we attend are mostly not stewarding that money wisely or biblically. No where in Scripture are we commanded to give so we can build a fancy church. The last church I attended was nothing more than a country club for middle to upper class suburbanites.
46 reviews3 followers
June 15, 2020
This book has so many problems. The first part of the book he frequently sets up paragraphs as if he is going one way and then the paragraph ends with sentence advocating the opposite. Other times he's vague or broad enough that you can read whatever you want into it, which is pointless here. For example, every time he talks about a couple where the men and the women both work the relationship is always doomed. He never clarifies if it was because their commitment to making money distracted from their commitment to each other, or if it was because they didn't manage their stress well, or if women just shouldn't be in the workplace. This happens at least five times and is never elaborated on.

In fact, the entire second part of the book should be skipped. It's about relationships and he gives terrible advice. It's condescending to women, and is what I'm sure the other reviews are referring to when they say "This guy's attitude belongs in the fifties".

The third part was better but was still mired but the issues of inconsistency and vagueness that plagued the first part. Honestly the book read like a first draft which is pretty bad for the supposed Updated 25th anniversary edition that I read.

I liked the questions this book made me ask about my relationship with God, but none of the arguments it made in solving those questions. I'm not saying there's nothing of value here, but that you can probably get much much more from other books.
Profile Image for Jeff Abramovitz.
2 reviews1 follower
November 15, 2018
Man in the mirror is a timeless overarching analysis and reference book about the main issues every man (and woman) faces as a Christian. Yes, some of the stories and analogies are dated as the book has been in print a number of years. Morley has updated it, I believe, as my version included more recent stories including social media and updated contemporary references sprinkled throughout the book. But, the test of a timeless book is whether or not the issues it addresses are still relevant or not. In this case, we are talking about man and, though things have changed technologically, we still deal with the same spiritual struggles. And, he addresses them one by one. It's a great book to go through as a men's study or in a discipleship setting because it will cause you to discuss every major issue we face as men. Well done, Patrick Morley.
Profile Image for Ben Reynolds.
26 reviews1 follower
August 16, 2018
For those who want to know what real manhood looks like, this book is a great place to start. It's well-written, comprehensive, and was a pleasure to read for my personal worship time each day. Morley challenges us to become the men that God has created us to be by placing every aspect of our lives under the lordship of Jesus. This has never been more important than it is today. As another author put it, 'The greatest want of the world is the want of men—men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.'
Profile Image for Zachary Stewart.
45 reviews1 follower
December 29, 2020
This book is written for men who find themselves struggling to be the man they want to be because they don't know how.

Morley's book of discipleship touches upon nearly every significant aspect of a man's life, and how these topics can be approached from a Biblical perspective. A common theme is: "Get out of the consumeristic rat race and live for God, not yourself." Because the scope is vast, Morely does not dwell on any one topic but rather brings a holistic perspective to universal challenges faced by every Christian man.

This book is special to me because I read it before I was saved in 2016, and in reading it in 2020 (having a relationship with God), I got much more out of it.
Profile Image for Christopher Horne.
8 reviews1 follower
August 8, 2018
This book is for all men especially those who are not satisfied with life, those who have some type of 'void' in their life. You believe in God and attend church but have not dug deep for peace in your soul. There is a subtle difference between 'going to church' as a cultural person of faith and basing your whole life on the Bible. Patrick Morley writes to challenges these tenants in his book "MAN IN THE MIRROR" - What do I see?
Profile Image for Erik Rostad.
324 reviews117 followers
February 5, 2019
So many of the books I read are how to achieve goals and have more productivity. But it’s important to take a step back every now and then and read a book that challenges you to make sure you have the right goals to begin with. That you are heading in the direction you should be going. Otherwise, achiveing goals that lead to the wrong result is not going to be helpful. This was a helpful book in a variety of areas.
November 21, 2019
I really enjoyed reading this book! It is full of Godly wisdom and sound advice, and more than once, while reading it, I was surprised to read about problems and issues that are going on in my own life. I normally read this book over lunch, and didn't have a pen so that I could underline or take notes, so I will have to go back and re-read it in the near future to glean even more wisdom from where I can!

It's a must-read for men!
Profile Image for David Steyer.
79 reviews1 follower
July 24, 2021
What can I say that has not been said? This was an amazing book and an amazing personal self-journey for me. There were so many chapters that were scarily true for me in my life. I wish I had someone recommend this along time ago. If one has to carry a cross and suffer before one can find enlightenment and wisdom then what happened in my life finally brought me to this.

I hope my self-reflection can continue and I can keep moving forward with the changes that need to be made.
Profile Image for Michael Vincent.
Author 1 book4 followers
November 1, 2017
My third time (at least) through. His 25th anniversary edition does have a few changes and comes in an inexpensive paperback edition which we make available to visitors of our church. Morley hits so many of men's nails on the head as he describes different struggles men face, and gives healthy answers to these issues. A great book to use for a men's group.
Profile Image for Nderitu  Pius .
204 reviews13 followers
July 17, 2021
The book that I would advice every men's meeting to enjoy as part of the book club for men alongside the BIBLE. Read this book, enjoy it and also don't forget to share. GOD uses HIS WORD to change men and HE has used HIS WORD to touch Mr. Morley then to us. Read this book again I say, read and take notes on this book!
April 25, 2022
Salah satu buku yang menurut saya akan membantu banyak Pria, menangani masalah pria kebanyakan, Penanganan Terkait Rat Race dan juga tentunya penanganan bagaimana menyelesaikan hubungan dan bagaiman menjadi significan dengan pemahaman yang benar.

Saya membeli 4 buku tambahan untuk saya bagikan buat mereka yang benar benar memahami dirinya butuh pertolongan.

Para Pria, bacalah...
19 reviews
April 15, 2023
I was in a personal crisis when this book was recommended. I joined a book club to discuss it. This, and several other materials have helped me to turn a corner, and get back to the secure, confident, man I was before going through the worst situation of my Life. Lots of good insights, even if some of the Christianity messaging is outdated.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews

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