Once upon a Dyke

New Exploits #1

by Barbara Johnson, Karin Kallmaker (Contributor), Therese Szymanski (Contributor)

In this first installment of a planned annual series of New Exploits of... novellas, authors put a new twist on the classic fairy tales Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Snow White, and Beauty and the Beast. Fish Out of Water (Kallmaker); Nobody believed the curse that the evil warlock put on Ariel until it came true. On her twenty-first birthday she awoke in a strange bed, next to a mortal woman, in a land that bore no resemblance to her own. She must not speak for a year, no matter the need, or she will never be able to go home again. And home has much to offer: her crown, her magic, and the endless pleasures of the Sidhe Court. The memories of the glorious, wonderfully irresponsible, luxurious days and nights keep her silent... until the love, and lovemaking, of that very mortal woman, leaves her yearning to say just one word: Yes. A Butch in Fairytale Land (Szymanski); Need help? Cody is there. Friends call her misguided. Ex-friends say stalker. Chided on every side for acting before she thinks, Cody is delighted to awaken in a fairy tale world where damsel after damsel not only needs help, but Cody is the only butch around to save the day. Daring deeds and dashing rescues can

Genres: Lesbian, Fantasy, Erotica, Romance, LGBT, Anthologies, Short Stories

307 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2004

About the author

Librarian note: There are other authors with the same name

Barbara Johnson lives in a Maryland suburb with her partner of more than three decades, Kathleen DeBold, plus felines.

Reviews

[Rabbit {Paint me like one of your 19th century gothic heroines!} · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed to update my pr0n stash, so this is the first book that came in from Amazon.

I love faerie tales, especially re-worked erotic ones.

Definitely worth the read, imho.

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, I could get all mathematical and do an average of the 4 stories in this book, some of which were 1-star material, others of which were 4-star material, but I took the easy way and just gave it a simple 3. But I'm going to review the stories independently because it seems most fair. Although, to speak of the book as a whole: I didn't realize until this book arrived that it was classified as erotica. With that said, most of the stories were character-driven enough that the sex didn't steal the show. Which is good because the sex wasn't really my cup of tea; clearly I find different activities sexy than these four authors. So, without further ado:

Story 1 - La Belle Rose by Julia Watts: This story was incredibly light on the sex and the most "innocent" of the four stories here, with its main character fairly innocent about love and sex and not really getting corrupted in the course of the story. I appreciated the reinterpretation of "the beast" as a bearded woman at a carnival. Beauty and the Beast set amongst a cast of carnies? I could get down with that. (***)

Story 2 - A Butch in Fairy Tale Land by Therese Szymanski: This was the most sex-driven and least story/character driven tale, and it was super lame. I would've put up with it if the sex was hot, but an orgy with the 7 dwarfs isn't really my ideal fantasy. Basically, this story leads a butch lesbian through a series of fairy tale dreams in which she gets to rescue and screw a lot of fairy tale characters. Then she wakes up and, hm, maybe I shouldn't give away the lame ending to this lame story in case someone actually wants to read it? (*)

Story 3 - Charlotte of Hessen by Barbara Johnson: This is a retelling of Cinderella, although you have to read fairly far in before realizing that because it starts before the stepmother and stepsisters arrive and there's nothing recognizably "Cinderella-ish" in it before that. I liked the premise of Charlotte falling in love with the prince's sister instead of him. But the whole victimhood / persecution part of this story grated on my nerves. When I was a kid, I remember Jessica asking, "Why doesn't Cinderella just tell them off?" and I've sort of wondered that ever since. But now as an adult, I know, of course, that there are all sorts of psychological factors at play in an abusive relationship. But in this particular take on Cinderella, it wasn't an examination of victimization, it was a romanticization of it, and that's annoying. (**)

Story 4 - A Fish Out of Water by Karin Kallmaker: This one is a retelling of The Little Mermaid. And at first I was annoyed that the writer used the names Ariel and Erica in it and gave them similar physical characteristics to the Disney versions, because the Disney version is a retelling in itself, so I like other retellings to stay closer to the source material. But, once I got over that (and the fact that the merfolk all had legs, but lived underwater, and the fact that the underwater scenes didn't feel like they were taking place underwater), it became clear that in this anthology, they'd saved the best for last. Karin's examination of Ariel's and Erica's attraction as a result of a "curse" laid by mersong and her gentle coaxing of them from lust and despair into love over the course of one voiceless year was really beautiful. And once Ariel was out of the ocean, this was the most visceral of the stories, with the strongest and most compelling sensory details. Out of all four authors, Karin Kallmaker is the one I'd consider reading again. (****)

[Sunny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE IT...just love it. YAHH

[Dide · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Little Mermaid was a sweet story but i personally didn't find her tattooing herself as a form of amorous expression....she was already loved before her tattoo why feel hurting yourself will get you closer ? I give it 3 stars

Snow White was a really sappy read, i found it silly in many wsays but i did find the erotic side of it entertaining. I give it 2 stars

Beauty and the Beast was just sublime. Erotic and captivating and a wonderful fairy tale read. I give it 4 stars

Fish Out of Water, this author was the reason i purchased this book and her story was no disappointment....it evoked some heart wrenching emotions just imagining the longing that just couldn't be fulfilled. I give it 4 stars

[Eva · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the idea behind this book is brilliant, the execution is far from it. The second story, A Butch in Fairy Tale Land, is nothing short of excruciating. It is so badly written that it's taken me almost five years, and about half a dozen attempts, to get past it. And even then, I had to skip the second half of the story. It is truly terrible. I had such high hopes from this book. Somehow, even with all the smut, this one doesn't hold a candle to Kissing the Witch.

[Emma]

unbelievably badly written, too many underage sex scenes, took months to gather the will to finish it. 11/10

[Maddie Von · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cool in concept, 3/4 were very “my first gay wattpad fic” vibes. Felt very much a Plot, what Plot? Why is everybody fisting people they just met??? Totally sped through the last bit, would not recommend or read again. One star for the best chapter and the concept.

[Lorraine Rusnack · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spices up 4 classic tales. Well worth reading

[Cole Schiller · Rating 3 out of 5]

How do I buy this?

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very fun twist on classic fairy tales!