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Truth and Beauty

Ann Patchett

3.94 · Rating details · 36,277 ratings · 3,172 reviews

Ann Patchett and the late Lucy Grealy met in college in 1981, and, after enrolling in the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, began a friendship that would be as defining to both of their lives as their work. In Grealy’s critically acclaimed memoir Autobiography of a Face, she wrote about losing part of her jaw to childhood cancer, years of chemotherapy and radiation, and endless reco ...more

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Paperback, 257 pages

Published April 5th 2005 by Harper Perennial (first published May 1st 2004)

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Nov 06, 2007 K rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs, favorites

Wow -- what a fascinating experience, to read "Truth and Beauty" after "Autobiography of a Face" and then to follow up with Suellen Grealy's angry article. I actually thought "Truth and Beauty" was the better book of the two, although perhaps it's not fair to say that because much of my fascination with "Truth and Beauty," at least initially, stemmed from having read "Autobiography of a Face" and the unique, stimulating opportunity to read one person's memoir and then to read how that person was Wow -- what a fascinating experience, to read "Truth and Beauty" after "Autobiography of a Face" and then to follow up with Suellen Grealy's angry article. I actually thought "Truth and Beauty" was the better book of the two, although perhaps it's not fair to say that because much of my fascination with "Truth and Beauty," at least initially, stemmed from having read "Autobiography of a Face" and the unique, stimulating opportunity to read one person's memoir and then to read how that person was remembered by a close friend.
First of all, I loved the writing. I forgot I was reading a book half the time; I felt like I was experiencing the friendship and the people myself. Also, while "Autobiography of a Face" was well-written, the story gripped me more than the writing. With "Truth and Beauty," the writing was more singular than the story although I enjoyed both. "Autobiography" explored the dynamics of growing up looking like a freak, while "Truth" described a uniquely intimate? codependent? almost physical? unhealthily close, or just unusually close? friendship -- a more universal topic, but written about in such a fascinating and provocative way.
This book made me think a lot about friendship. When does unique closeness become dysfunctional and unhealthy? When friends fall into the roles of "the sick one" and "the well one," even legitimately, how do they break out of that? And should they? If so, at what point?
It also made me think about sociable, charismatic, life-of-the-party people and whether they're just good at masking and filling (or trying to fill) an inner emptiness. Is it better to be introverted?
Then, reading Suellen Grealy's article (not printed in the book, for obvious reasons) raised even more questions for me. I could empathize with Suellen's feelings of exposure and her sense that her private grief had become something public and marketable. At the same time, at the risk of sounding callous, there's another way to look at this. For example, concerning "Autobiography," she expressed irritation that Lucy had selected her vantage point -- but what do you expect a memoir to be?
In describing Ann Patchett's afterword to "Autobiography," Suellen quoted her sister Sarah as saying, "Where are we in this story?" Ann Patchett was describing her memories of Lucy, which didn't include her sisters, whom she never met while Lucy was alive. I tried to understand -- is she angry about the exposure of Lucy, or about the fact that she wasn't included in this expose?
Then, Suellen reacted to the fact that one reading guide for "Autobiography" questioned her mother's parenting skills, and reported that this was blamed on an inexperienced intern. It's true that this may be insensitive to the family, but once you're going to go there, maybe the book shouldn't have been published at all!
Suellen said that, while she respected Ann Patchett's need to write the book as an artist, she would have preferred that she write it and then bury it somewhere rather than publishing it. Right. I sympathize with Suellen's feelings of exposure, but to hold it against Ann that she spent years writing an excellent book, a book that contributes to the literature canon, and then actually wanted to publish it, is not fair.
This happens to be a problem, as I know because a friend of mine is a writer and a journalist and sometimes angers people who appear in her writings (directly or indirectly) because they feel their privacy has been invaded. It's not that I don't sympathize with Suellen's feelings. I can't imagine what her grief must be like, and then to have it bared so publicly outside of her control. However, "Truth and Beauty" was such a worthwhile book in my opinion that I have a hard time relating to her particular complaints. I guess that any book has the potential to expose and hurt people, especially a memoir. Does that mean it shouldn't be written? Does that mean it shouldn't be read? ...more

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Feb 14, 2008 Barbara Mader rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: no one

I didn't care for it, for several reasons. First of all, I didn't think much of the quality of the writing--certainly nothing like Lucy Grealy's in her own memoir. Second, I found both women's behavior in the friendship really strange. Ann seems completely blank in the relationship, never asserting any real personality, and completely enabling Lucy's neediness and selfishness. Lucy just sounded like a black hole, sucking up every bit of attention, affection, needing more and more extravagant dec ...more

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Aug 14, 2007 Diane rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs, favorites, writers-on-writing

This is a beautiful memoir of a friendship between two writers, Ann Patchett and the poet Lucy Grealy. I read this back in 2006, and it's still one of my favorite books about the nature of friendship and the bonds that we form with others.

Ann met Lucy in college, and later they both attended the Iowa Writer's Workshop. As a child, Lucy had suffered cancer of the jaw and her face was disfigured during numerous reconstruction surgeries. Lucy wrote the memoir "Autobiography of a Face" about her exp This is a beautiful memoir of a friendship between two writers, Ann Patchett and the poet Lucy Grealy. I read this back in 2006, and it's still one of my favorite books about the nature of friendship and the bonds that we form with others.

Ann met Lucy in college, and later they both attended the Iowa Writer's Workshop. As a child, Lucy had suffered cancer of the jaw and her face was disfigured during numerous reconstruction surgeries. Lucy wrote the memoir "Autobiography of a Face" about her experience. This is how Ann described Lucy:

"Her lower jaw had been a ledge falling off just below her cheekbone when we started college, making her face a sharp triangle, but now the lines were softer. She couldn't close her mouth all the way and her front teeth showed. Her jaw was irregular, as if one side had been collapsed by a brutal punch, and her neck was scarred and slightly twisted. She had a patch of paler skin running from ear to ear that had been grafted from her back and there were other bits of irregular patching and scars. But she also had lovely light eyes with damp dark lashes and a nose whose straightness implied aristocracy. Lucy had white Irish skin and dark blond hair and in the end that's what you saw, the things that didn't change: her eyes, the sweetness of her little ears."

Ann and Lucy became close when they were in grad school together in Iowa. They both had new dating experiences, and the slower pace of life in the Midwest made them feel like they were "impossibly rich in time." They filled their days with reading and teaching and dinner and dancing and, of course, writing.

"We shared our ideas like sweaters, with easy exchange and lack of ownership. We gave over excess words, a single beautiful sentence that had to be cut but perhaps the other would like to have. As two reasonably intelligent and very serious young writers in a reasonably serious writing program, we didn't so much discuss our work as volley ideas back and forth until neither of us was sure who belonged to what."

After grad school the two friends moved away but stayed in touch with visits and heartfelt letters, some of which Ann includes in the book. Sadly, Lucy later got involved in drugs and died too young. Ann would often dream of her, and she would have a conversation with her dear friend. "Night after night after night I find her, always in a public place, a museum, a restaurant, on a train. Every night she's glad to see me and she folds into my arms. But each time there is less of her to hold on to ... In this little way I am allowed to visit my dead."

I was drawn to the book because I had loved Ann Patchett's novel "Bel Canto," so I picked it up just on name recognition. Her writing is lovely and sincere, and it made me adore Patchett even more. I highly recommend the book to writers and to anyone who loves a good story of friendship.

Update November 2013:
There was a lovely interview with Ann Patchett in the New York Times, during which she was asked which writer, dead or alive, would she meet? This was her answer:

"I'd want to see my friend Lucy Grealy again. I'd want to know how the afterlife was treating her, if there was anything or everything about this world she missed. She'd say to me, 'My God, how did you get here?' And I would say, 'The New York Times Book Review told me I could meet any writer, living or dead, and I picked you!' Then I imagine there would be a great deal of hugging and dancing around."

Read the full interview here: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/03/boo...
...more

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Feb 23, 2010 Lightreads rated it liked it

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, disability

Okay, I'm gonna come out and say something earnest here, in a short break from the usual foul-mouthed cynicism. I think books ought to have courage; I think memoirs, out of all books, must have courage. And this one doesn't.

This is supposed to be the story of a twenty-year friendship between two women writers, but in reality this is just a book about Lucy Grealy, the girl who lost most of her face to cancer, the eventual darling of the New York literary scene, the heroin addict. The cowardice st Okay, I'm gonna come out and say something earnest here, in a short break from the usual foul-mouthed cynicism. I think books ought to have courage; I think memoirs, out of all books, must have courage. And this one doesn't.

This is supposed to be the story of a twenty-year friendship between two women writers, but in reality this is just a book about Lucy Grealy, the girl who lost most of her face to cancer, the eventual darling of the New York literary scene, the heroin addict. The cowardice starts there, letting this book be about Lucy, who is dead, about how larger than life and brilliant and fucked up she was, because that way Patchett never really has to tell us much more than the executive summary of herself. But it doesn't stop there. This is a book about a really long, complicated friendship, where one party clearly had serious psychological problems (Borderline Personality Disorder, at least based on this narration – seriously, you can go down a freaking checklist). It's hard to explain what I'm pointing at when I say this book lacks courage. It talks about Lucy's neediness, her clinginess, her bursts of demanding infantilism, but it's in this weird, belligerent way that says, see, I'm telling you all this to show you just how much I must have loved her. Not I loved her, so I can tell these stories now that she's gone to grieve and remember and be truthful.

Like, for example, there are a half dozen pieces of evidence scattered throughout the book that Lucy was a . . . let's say fabulist. In parts of her nonfiction, and in parts of her life. And Patchett just tosses this stuff out there and doesn't touch it, not once. I don't want to piece together evidence from a friendship/memoir/fragmented biography – I want the evidence, and I want Patchett's thoughts on it, I wanted honesty about this part of Lucy, too, along with how she submitted herself again and again to abusive surgeries. I don't want diamond clarity – that's a weird thing to want from a memoir – but I do want . . . more real participation. Reflections on Lucy that reflect Patchett, too. Something that wasn't an entire book of an apology. Something braver, because you know the most summary, cursory part of this book? The few flat lines at the end, after Lucy overdoses. This is a book all about Patchett's grief, and yet, at the last, she hides her face.

Courage. Not something easily found in grief, but I have high expectations.

Still. Lucy's excerpted letters were beautiful.
...more

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Jul 12, 2019 Alok Mishra rated it really liked it

Raw and next to life... this is what fiction should be! I enjoyed reading your work, Ann!

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Oct 07, 2011 Connie G rated it really liked it

Shelves: autobiography-memoir, non-fiction

"Truth and Beauty" is a memoir about the close friendship Ann Patchett shared with the writer Lucy Grealy. At the age of nine, Grealy was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma. She went through years of radiation, chemotherapy, and reconstructive surgeries of her lower jaw. But it was still difficult for her to eat, speak, and kiss. Grealy published the successful "Autobiography of a Face" in 1994 about her experiences.

Patchett and Grealy, both graduates of Sarah Lawrence College, became best friends w ...more

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Nov 02, 2013 Julie Ehlers rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memoir-and-autobiography, books-that-are-awesome

Oh, my experience rereading this book was so different from my first reading ten years ago. Back then, I don't think I'd read any Ann Patchett yet--I'd read Lucy Grealy's Autobiography of a Face and wanted to know more about her and how she died. Even though Ann was doing the telling, I saw this as Lucy's story.

Fast forward ten years: I've now read and loved three of Ann Patchett's novels and a fair amount of her nonfiction pieces. I'm a fan. Rereading Truth and Beauty, I'm much more interested Oh, my experience rereading this book was so different from my first reading ten years ago. Back then, I don't think I'd read any Ann Patchett yet--I'd read Lucy Grealy's Autobiography of a Face and wanted to know more about her and how she died. Even though Ann was doing the telling, I saw this as Lucy's story.

Fast forward ten years: I've now read and loved three of Ann Patchett's novels and a fair amount of her nonfiction pieces. I'm a fan. Rereading Truth and Beauty, I'm much more interested in Ann's story, and surprised by how much of the book is actually about her. I think the story of Ann's writing life is as fascinating as Lucy's, in its own way--no drama, no self-destructiveness, just someone who gradually made her way from Friday's waitress to wildly successful author via talent, of course, but also sheer force of will and her willingness to engage, day after day, with the page in front of her--something Lucy, it seems, was never able to do. Of course, the book really is about both of them, a true portrait of their friendship, but for me, Ann's part in it assumed its rightful place on this reading.

The parts of the book concerning Lucy's drug addiction really stood out for me this time as well: Lucy's ex-boyfriend Andy, thinking if he can just keep her out of New York (where her dealer lives) she'll stay clean--as if Lucy couldn't find drugs everywhere else in the world. Ann herself desperately wanting Lucy to move to Nashville so she can keep an eye on her--basically be there to stop Lucy if she tries to go off track. Such common behavior among the loved ones of addicts. You think there's something you can do to solve the problem, but the fact is you can't do anything. I felt that aspect of the book much more strongly this time around.

Lucy's bad behavior was less shocking to me this time--probably because it was no longer new to me--but I certainly understand all the reviewers here who wonder why in the world someone like Ann would stay friends with someone like Lucy. To me, the answer is in this passage, one of my favorites in the book:

"Whenever I saw her, I felt like I had been living in another country, doing moderately well in another language, and then she showed up speaking English and suddenly I could speak with all the complexity and nuance that I hadn't even realized was gone. With Lucy I was a native speaker."

Don't we all want to be lucky enough to feel this way? And once we did, wouldn't we do whatever we could to hold onto it? ...more

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Aug 10, 2014 Idarah rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memoir-bio, favorites

Truth and Beauty is an endearing, wonderfully written memoir about the friendship and love between Ann Patchett and her friend, memoirist/poet, Lucy Grealy. Complete opposites, Patchett aptly compares their relationship to Aesop's fable characters: the grasshopper, ant, tortoise and hare.

"What the story didn't tell you is that the ant relented at the eleventh hour and took in the grasshopper when the weather was hard, fed him on his tenderest store of grass all winter. The tortoise, being un

"What the story didn't tell you is that the ant relented at the eleventh hour and took in the grasshopper when the weather was hard, fed him on his tenderest store of grass all winter. The tortoise, being uninterested in such things, gave over his medal to the hare. Grasshoppers and hares find the ants and tortoises. They need us to survive, but we need them as well. They were the ones who brought the truth and beauty to the party, which Lucy could tell you as she recited Keats over breakfast, was better than food any day."

Gah, I just loved this book so much! This is a book that will make you call in sick to work just so you can finish it. You may just cry, and if not cry, then seriously reflect on the friends and dear loved ones you know. What circumstances bring people into our lives just when we need them? Are they here for a season or a lifetime? So much food for thought.

Grealy endured countless operations on her face due to treatment of cancer when she was young. Despite never being happy with her appearance and being constantly overwhelmed with the fear of never being loved, her larger than life personality and poetic genius is the legacy that she left behind. Patchett's loving tribute to her dear friend was a wonderful reading experience. For two days I got to see behind the "writer's curtain" and all that goes into writing a book.

Also I should add that this is a book that begs to be discussed. My mom isn't much of a reader, but two mornings in a row we found ourselves having coffee at the kitchen table discussing the characters; she even allowed me to read complete passages. I'm not one for highlighting my books or folding pages, but I just couldn't help myself! I devoured this book. One thing we agreed on this morning while I was filling her in on the ending, she said, "You better make sure to buy Autobiography of a Face. We'll have to discuss it on late night long distance phone calls." Consider it done, ma! ...more

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Nov 04, 2015 Britta Böhler rated it did not like it

Shelves: femlit, non-fiction, memoirs

I was very interested to read about Lucy Grealy, a brilliant poet who died at 39.

But from the very beginning Patchett uses a style that greatly annoyed me and which - by want of a more suitable word - I can only describe as 'passive-aggressive-praise'. By that I mean showering constant praise on someone (Lucy) and always affirming that this person is more talented than the one giving the praise (Ann), and more intelligent, more fun, more everything. But the praise is laced with tiny, almost imp ...more

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Dec 27, 2008 Kerfe rated it it was ok

Shelves: biography-memoir, non-fiction

Addicts are not very likable. At best I found Lucy Grealy tiresome. That was at the beginning of Patchett's memoir about their friendship. By the end my feelings for Lucy had turned into active dislike.

I don't think this was the author's intent. When Lucy dies, she says: "I had thought I could let her go. But now I know I was simply not cut out for life without her. I am living that life now and would not choose it." But she never made me see why this should be. Why was she so devoted to Lucy, w ...more

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Mar 20, 2015 Glenn Sumi rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, non-fiction

A justly acclaimed memoir about the friendship between the novelist Ann Patchett (Bel Canto, State Of Wonder) and the memoirist/poet Lucy Grealy (Autobiography Of A Face).

The two graduated the same year from Sarah Lawrence, but they became close only when they lived together while studying and teaching at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop. That friendship continued through their years struggling to publish, win grants and fellowships, on through successes, setbacks, publication, fame and Grealy’s untim ...more

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Sep 03, 2019 Terri rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorite-women-writers, women-writer-memoirs, writer-ann-patchett

Review on the way...

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Jan 25, 2008 Colleen rated it really liked it

I picked up this book because I read "Bel Canto" and loved it, and loved Ann Patchett's writing style. I also think that, in general, friendship does not get enough respect in our society. There's a lot of attention payed to family and lovers, but not much to friends.
This is the story of a friendship between the author and a woman she went to college with. They both end up at the University of Iowa's Writer's Workshop at the same time, and a beautiful, life-long friendship ensues. I loved the b ...more

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Oct 28, 2007 Charlotte rated it it was ok

I learned how not to treat friends.

I couldn't believe that Ann didn't end her friendship with Lucy after so many irritating incidents on Lucy's part. I would have backed out of sharing an apartment with Lucy if she had jumped up on me when I first arrived at the apartment.

When Lucy demanded that Ann tell her that she (Ann) loved her most, why did Ann cater to her wishes?

The author did not explain to my satisfaction why Lucy continued to have friends. Apparently Lucy must have had some sort ...more

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Mar 21, 2013 Dianne rated it really liked it · review of another edition

“Truth and Beauty” is the story of authors Ann Patchett and Lucy Grealy’s (“Autobiography of a Face”) friendship, commencing from their college days until Lucy’s death in 2002 at age 39. The title of the book “Truth and Beauty” is taken from a chapter and several references in Lucy’s book.

Lucy Grealy is mercurial, irresponsible, needy, and an immensely talented writer. She is seriously facially disfigured from having half of her jawbone removed due to Ewing’s sarcoma as a child and from numerous ...more

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Jul 24, 2007 Jill Hohnstein rated it did not like it

Awful. Both obsequious and patronizing. Touted as a memoir of friendship. But, sweet Mary, I would not want either of the women as my friend.

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May 09, 2017 Skye rated it it was ok

My poor review has nothing to do with Patchett's writing ability. I found the story very disturbing, I couldn't understand other than her writing accolades what Patchett got out of this unhealthy friendship. Lucy was such a negative, manipulative person that her 'looks' to me were very much beside the point. ...more

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Apr 13, 2020 Rachel rated it it was amazing

We had invented time, and we could not kill it fast enough.

The true story of Ann and Lucy’s friendship was a riveting one, but it was so hard to read towards the end. Lucy went through so much that by the time it got to drugs it was just painful. Anyway, Ann writes in a clear, poignant way about the high and heartbreakingly low points of their relationship, and how hard it can be to love someone. I think this book will stay with me for a while.

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Oct 16, 2012 Greg rated it really liked it

It's a little confusing to separate all the various emotions and viewpoints associated with Truth and Beuaty because of the agita caused by the Grealey family's dissatisfaction with the book and Suellen Grealey's letter to the Guardian. The "controversy" stems from ideas of ethics and rights. Who owns the rights to Lucy's story? Is it ethical for Ann Patchett to use Lucy to tell her own story? I see both sides although I fall on Patchett's side. Reading Beauty, I could see how her family didn't It's a little confusing to separate all the various emotions and viewpoints associated with Truth and Beuaty because of the agita caused by the Grealey family's dissatisfaction with the book and Suellen Grealey's letter to the Guardian. The "controversy" stems from ideas of ethics and rights. Who owns the rights to Lucy's story? Is it ethical for Ann Patchett to use Lucy to tell her own story? I see both sides although I fall on Patchett's side. Reading Beauty, I could see how her family didn't like the at times ugly portrayal of Lucy, but I think it's not ugliness, but truth.

An interesting study in contrasts. Lucy Grealey's life has all the markings of a bloated, Hollywood biopic. The outsized personality, illness, disfigurement, depression, addiction, sexual exploration. Her life is epic and her death tragic. Patchett subverts expectations here by going small. She stays resolutely to her own tiny window into Lucy. The prose is minimal and well-considered, providing subtle contrast to Lucy's letters.

I was constantly reminded of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, an odd reference point, but a think an applicable one because of their similar perspectives. Both novel's ostensible protagonist, the narrator, become side characters to the bombast of the colorful friend. And of course the stories of both Jay Gatsby and Lucy Grealey don't end well, but this does bring me back to ethics. Gatsby is a work of fiction so the perspective, like everything else, is a fabrication. Beauty is a memoir, but on appearance it is a memoir of Lucy, not of Ann. I say on appearance because I'm not sure the memoir is so much about Lucy as it is about writing and creativity as told through the friendship of Patchett and Grealey. It reminded me of Didion's Blue Nights, where you think you're reading about the death of her daughter, but you're actually reading about death itself and the struggle of writing and art against it.

The discussions about writing and the descriptions about Lucy's feelings about writing are fascinating. Writing is salvation for both Patchett and Grealey through their lives. Patchett appears to reach the same conclusion as Didion, that writing and art and truth and beauty are not salvation. They are not a lifeline. Nothing can stop death and fear if it wants to come.

...more

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Aug 16, 2011 Sandra rated it liked it

SPOILER ALERT!

So this is really more like a 2.5 star read, but interesting in a train-wreck kind of way. This is the true story of Patchett's friendship and fascination with fellow author Lucy Grealy from college through Grealy's suicide in her late 30s. Grealy suffered from Ewing's sarcoma which claimed a part of her face in childhood and then she permitted it to take her self-respect and the rest of her life. Grealy told her own story in "Autobiography of a Face", and the story should have pro ...more

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Feb 04, 2013 Judith rated it did not like it

Having recently read "State of Wonder" and "Bel Canto", I became an overnight devoted fan of Ann Patchett. And how was I to know that the memoir of her dear friend and fellow author would be just about unreadable? The book describes this intense (passionate, though platonic) friendship with a female poet she met in college. The friend, Lucy, was a pitiful victim of cancer which left her without the lower half of her face. She underwent over 38 surgeries during her lifetime to try to rebuild her ...more

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Jan 02, 2013 Ruth Seeley rated it it was ok · review of another edition

So this was Ann Patchett's third strike and this reader declares her banned from the game in perpetuity. Certainly better than State of Wonder and Bel Canto (I don't care how many awards that book won, it's bad!) and I've wasted enough time trying to figure out what people see in her as a writer.

Easy to see what Lucy Grealy saw in her as a friend, though - an eager co-dependent. While the fact that this is not a novel helps Patchett on the plotting front significantly (no more crazy and unbeliev ...more

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Dec 14, 2007 Kelly Corrigan rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: anyone who has ever had a deep friendship

i had never read ann patchett nor had i ever read a book where the muse was a friend. there's something so rich and unmined about friendship, especially-I think-between women. I loved this. Every page. ...more

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Sep 03, 2007 Kim rated it liked it

Recommends it for: Ann Patchett fans

I have just read two books about female friendship back to back--one was the annotated letters of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok and the other was this one, novelist Ann Patchett's memoir of her all-encompassing and troubled friendship with poet Lucy Grealy, who is insecure, needy, and self-destructive, but also incredibly gifted. It is no spoiler to say that Lucy dies at the end, which is given away on the dust jacket and dedication page.

Both books were similar in that one party to the fr I have just read two books about female friendship back to back--one was the annotated letters of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok and the other was this one, novelist Ann Patchett's memoir of her all-encompassing and troubled friendship with poet Lucy Grealy, who is insecure, needy, and self-destructive, but also incredibly gifted. It is no spoiler to say that Lucy dies at the end, which is given away on the dust jacket and dedication page.

Both books were similar in that one party to the friendship went on to great heights of fame and accomplishment while the other achieved some success, but not enough to soothe her troubled soul. Inevitably, the career paths of the four women in the two books diverged, and not surprisingly their friendships did too.

I enjoyed Patchett's book more than the Roosevelt-Hickok book simply because there was more text, more narrative, than with some footnoted letters (fascinating though they were). I've never read any of Patchett's novels, but I've read some of her articles and she's a wonderful writer. You get many intimations of her talent in this book, but this book ultimately left me cold. On one hand, Patchett purports to love Lucy, calling her the "pettest of [her] pets," yet to me this book (issued rather soon after Lucy's untimely death) smacked of exploitation. Ann reveals all of Lucy's faults and weaknesses in excruciatingly painful detail, and although I could sympathize with Ann's frustration, I felt betrayed on Lucy's behalf.

I can fully understand why Ann, as a writer, felt that writing would be the best way to work through her grief and make sense of her friendship with Lucy. Perhaps she felt she was honoring Lucy and giving her some of the fame that Lucy always craved. But part of me wishes Ann would have written this all down, stored it in a box, and kept it to herself. Or, at a minimum, disguised this story as a novel, which is Patchett's forte. I must admit that I thought about this book for days after I finished reading it, so it was obviously very effective in its way, but I also felt sad, very sad, that Lucy had to die and that her friend had to lay her soul so bare for the world to feast on. ...more

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Oct 20, 2007 Jhoanna rated it it was amazing

Shelves: you-need-to-buy-this-book

I didn't know much about Patchett or Grealy before reading this memoir and I still don't, but I love how Patchett details this intense friendship between two writers and gives you a close look at the writing process, how people develop and why we keep writing. Here's what Patchett has to say of Grealy:

"What the story doesn't tell you is that the ant relented at the eleventh hour and took in the grasshopper when the weather was hard, fed him on his tenderest store of grass all winter. The tortois ...more

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Oct 29, 2013 Megan Baxter rated it liked it

I am often at a loss with memoirs. I don't know what I'm expecting out of them, or how really to take them. As they're about lives, they don't conform to narrative conventions, but as they're not histories, they tend to give little of the context I crave. At best, they're someone giving you a glimpse into their life, and that springs vitally from the page. At worst, it feels like reading about a stranger, without enough of the context to understand.

Note: The rest of this review has been withdraw ...more

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Aug 20, 2007 Carla rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: girlfriends

My best friend Audrey gave me this book at the same time she gave me the book "Autobiography of a face". What a great present. I would read them in the order they are written (autobiography) first. The first book is just an interesting story which is well written. I really liked this book b/c it was mostly about the power of friendship. We all know the power of a good relationship with a significant other but rarely is the power of a female friendship written about. I can relate to this book (in ...more

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Apr 05, 2008 Kate. rated it really liked it

The friendship of Lucy Grealy and Ann Patchett was extraordinary and excruciating. I’ve had some remarkable friendships in my life, but this book forced serious introspection. I identify with Ann, and wonder: could I love someone as broken or needy as Lucy? Would I have the courage to stand up to a self-destructing friend? Do I have the fortitude to stick by a friend through gruesome surgeries/recoveries? Or maybe I am more of Lucy--searching for Perfect Love, drawing others in for my own amusem ...more

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Jun 08, 2017 Beth Bonini rated it it was amazing

Shelves: contemporary, memoir, friendship, rereading, favourites

The book cover of my Harper Perennial edition features 19th century insect prints of a grasshopper and an ant; the pictorial image refers to the Aesop's Fable which Patchett draws upon throughout this memoir of a friendship between two writers. Ann Patchett styles herself as the careful, plodding ant, while Lucy Grealy is the devil-may-care grasshopper who revels in summer's plenty, but then has to beg for food when winter comes.

These two friends, who attended Sarah Lawrence together as undergr The book cover of my Harper Perennial edition features 19th century insect prints of a grasshopper and an ant; the pictorial image refers to the Aesop's Fable which Patchett draws upon throughout this memoir of a friendship between two writers. Ann Patchett styles herself as the careful, plodding ant, while Lucy Grealy is the devil-may-care grasshopper who revels in summer's plenty, but then has to beg for food when winter comes.

These two friends, who attended Sarah Lawrence together as undergraduates and later became best friends at the Iowa Writer's Workshop, carve out their roles and responsibilities from the start. Lucy will be the poet; Ann will write prose. Lucy will be the emotionally needy, brilliant one, and Ann will be the caretaking, steady one. Perhaps the essential characteristics of their different personalities would have been in place no matter what, but life has already carved them up in very specific ways. As a child, Lucy suffered from cancer - the treatment of which destroyed her face. Left without many teeth or much of a jaw, Lucy's life becomes a series of surgeries and reconstructions. By her early thirties, she has undergone more than 36 surgeries and finally has to face the reality that her face will never be rebuilt in any enduring way. She will never be beautiful. Rather like her disintegrating, melting face, Lucy is an endless pit of need. No matter how successful she is, no matter how devoted are the friends in her life, no matter how numerous the lovers, Lucy suffers from a depression and an utterly guiltless and bottomless neediness. Ann, on the other hand, is the child of divorce; careful and self-contained. She has been educated by Catholic nuns, who have encouraged her self-effacement and devotion to good deeds. There are many times in the book where it is quite difficult to fathom the depth of Ann's service to Lucy. She explains it quite early on. Realising that worrying about the self-destructive Lucy is counterproductive, and ultimately too draining, Ann decides to devote herself to helping Lucy in practical ways: feeding her, cleaning out her closet, dealing with her bills, sitting by her bedside, and holding her hand - both literally and metaphorically. "The world is saved through deeds, not prayer, because what is prayer but a kind of worry: I decided then that my love for Lucy would have to manifest in deeds."

The memoir covers a roughly 15 year period - through their early years of friendship in Iowa, to the glory years when they both achieve writing success, to the final, painful decline of Lucy who died at age 39. Patchett has a very clear but expressive writing style, and she doesn't overdramatise the events of this friendship; she doesn't need to. It's a moving tribute to the possibilities of friendship, and ultimately its limitations. ...more

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Dec 04, 2019 Celia rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: bios-memoirs, audio, 2019-read, ten-year-challenge

The voice of the author, Ann Patchett, reading the memoir she wrote, is soothing. At 18 'pages' in I became immersed in her story of a friendship with Lucy Grealy. They went to the same college, but did not know each other then. The friendship 'takes off' when they both enroll at the Iowa Writer's Workshop.

After listening to this book, I realize that Ann Patchett is the BEST best friend anyone ever had. Lucy had been diagnosed with a rare cancer in her jaw and endured 38 operations to rebuild it ...more

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About Ann Patchett

Ann Patchett

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Patchett was born in Los Angeles, California. Her mother is the novelist Jeanne Ray.

She moved to Nashville, Tennessee when she was six, where she continues to live. Patchett said she loves her home in Nashville with her doctor husband and dog. If asked if she could go any place, that place would always be home. "Home is ...the stable window that opens out into the imagination."

Patchett attended hi ...more

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“Writing is a job, a talent, but it's also the place to go in your head. It is the imaginary friend you drink your tea with in the afternoon.” — 506 likes

“I was starting to wonder if I was ready to be a writer, not someone who won prizes, got published and was given the time and space to work, but someone who wrote as a course of life. Maybe writing wouldn't have any rewards. Maybe the salvation I would gain through work would only be emotional and intellectual. Wouldn't that be enough, to be a waitress who found an hour or two hidden in every day to write?” — 80 likes

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