The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
Is happiness something you choose for yourself? The Courage to Be Disliked presents a simple and straightforward answer. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three gia ...more
This book talks about 'Courage'. It says we need courage to be hated. Because people ...more
'All you can do with regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in. On the other hand, what kind of judgement do people pass on that choice? That is the task of other people, and is not a matter you can do anything about.'
This quote kinda sums up the book. It's about returning the focus to only what you can affect, and living your own life a moment at a time.
There are some ideas here that are familiar to me ...more
So, it's not that I'm not a fan of the Socratic Method, it's just that the particular format of this book is tiresome. It's written as a dialogue over 5 sessions between The Philosopher and The Youth, and 90% of my irritation is because of the Youth is written as both extremely abrasive in manner, and dense as a plank.
However the contents of the book are excellen ...more
It introduces the reader to so many new concepts, yet in such an approachable way, that every chapter ends with an aha-moment.
Read this book if you're into personal development, if you want to completely change your opinion about happiness.
Read it if you are struggling with your introvert personality, if you have trauma to overcome and relationships to heal (especially with your parents).
The worst faults for me, however, were the offensive, compassionaless, victim-blaming ideas such as 'trauma does not exist' (a heading of a sub-chapter), expanded on to state that a person suffering from agorophobia is choosing to do so to treated as special by their parents. Second worst would be the poor logic used to 'prove' these ideas.
I remember me discussing with Himanshu, Abhishek and Ankit, a lot of things which are related to the book. This book gave words to those musings and structured a lot of mental models for me. It made me wonder about a lot of experiences I had and am having. One advice: start acting the way this book suggests at least for the time span of the read.
- Your past doesn't determine you, it is how you make of it.
- Don't rush for answers, arrive at them. (* ...more
Adlerian psychology is opposed ...more
The Courage To Be Disliked is a unique book. It has taken Japan by storm, using the theories of renowned 19th century philosopher and psychiatrist Alfred Adler to create a string of conversations between a fictional philosopher and a young man. T ...more
I don’t think I agree with many of Alfred Adler’s ideas as represented in this book, particularly his views on trauma, which he says “does not exist”. Maybe that’s a helpful way of thinking for some people, but it doesn’t sit well with me. His ideas might be more nuanced, but if they are, I don’t think the book did much to convey that. It wa ...more
Courage to be disliked was an inward journey in identifying 'life-lies' as Adler calls them, and the power they hold in the stories I create for myself as an excuse to not act. It was quite difficult to accept certain claims of Adler's given my current state of intuitions, cemented by aetiological/Freudian philosophy of causes and effects. While there are remarkably insightful ...more
With my own background reading I was reminded of Stoicism’s rejection of “things you can’t change” in understanding the world and Adlerian Psychology often felt to my mind like a more systema ...more
Some of the points that this book brought up were really interesting but true. Some ideas call to mind cheesy quotes you see on the internet, but the book explains why those ideas are actually very important. And some points are pretty wild, but the logic beh...more
I'd like to start by saying that I listened to this on Audible and that was a pleasant experience - as it's written as a dialogue between two people, it is read in that style. If you are going to pick this up, I highly recommend the audio version.
I found myself yelling in my car at the old philosopher several times, ag ...more
First, the title is a bait and switch as it is all about Western Adlerian psychology, not anything Japanese.
It's outdated. It's almost incoherent if you know anything about psychological or biological research of the last 80 years. Adler has the excuse of not knowing about that because he's dead. The authors of this book do not.
So far, the book is a circular argument: ...more
The people who are accusing it of victim blaming I feel are missing the point of the book, and I'm honestly not 100% convinced that they read the whole thing (and definitely didn't do so with an open mind).
This book is loosely based on Socrates' teachings (I'm being generous here) and the Adlerian School of Psychotherapy, born out the same movement (the Vienna Psychoanalytic Society) that gave us Sigmund Freud and Carl Jun ...more
So why dontcha already, huh?!
Okay. Not that I'm a huge fan of Adler anyway but this is brazenly taking out of context the man's writings too.
This book read a lot like other pseudo-scientific books like this whole law of attraction stuff that's been running rampant in the past 10+ years. Ironically the ...more
The argument concerning traumas, that because something happened to you in the past the way you are is not your fault, is typical of aetiology (study of causation). However, to Adler, we are not determined by our ex ...more
The book instead of acting as the usual comfort couch, shakes you out of it. It tells you point blank why you have b ...more
M.A.in philosophy from Kyoto University. Director of the Japanese Society of Adlerian psychology. Former counselor at Maeda Clinic in Kyoto and has taught philosophy and ancient Greek at various institutions such as Kyoto University of Education and Nara Women's University.
He presently t ...more