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The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy

4.46  ·  Rating details ·  72 ratings  ·  49 reviews
Friends for a Season?

There's something wrong with your friendship, but you can't figure out why. Is everything in your head? Unfortunately, toxic friendships happen to everyone, but we seldom identify the underlying issues while we battle confusion or the friendship breaks up.

Maybe you're left bewildered in the friendship's wake, paralyzed to move forward.

After wading thro
Paperback, 208 pages
Published October 2nd 2018 by Harvest House Publishers
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4.46  · 
Rating details
 ·  72 ratings  ·  49 reviews

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Oct 02, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
Every single one of us has been in a toxic, unhealthy, "deadly" friendship. We have all been touched by hurt, pain, betrayal, envy, drama, some even abuse. And this book is a healing balm to the parts of us that have been broken by such relationships. This book is for each and every one of us.
The book is broken up into two parts: chapters on each of the deadly friendships, and a section on healing from those friendships.
The chapters breaking down each deadly friendship were absolutely FASCINATI
Oct 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
So, today, Mary released The Seven Deadly Friendships- How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy. And y'all, read this & you'll see why I say Mary blew me away, again! We all have the friendships where you give more than you get. Or the one where someone twists every single thing back to them so that they are the main attraction, always. Whatever your issues, Mary touches on a great many of them. And she speaks about how to handle them biblically. It doesn't have to be some ...more
Lindsay Franklin
Jun 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a trail of destruction left in the aftermath of a toxic relationship, wondering what just hit you, The Seven Deadly Friendships is for you. Mary DeMuth offers keen insights, hard-won wisdom, and—most importantly—a biblical perspective on the types of friendships that hurt us most and what to do about them.
Jennifer Lara
Jan 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
The Seven Deadly Friendships by Mary DeMuth is a book on the types of relationships that can harm us. Taken from her own experiences and Proverbs 6:16-19, Ms. DeMuth takes the reader through the different types of dangerous relationships, what to look out for and how avoid them. Part of the book covers the different relationships. The seven relationships are: narcissistic friends, unreliable friends, predatory friends, conman friends, tempter friends, fake friends and dramatic friends. She also ...more
Aminata Coote
Nov 27, 2018 rated it liked it
The Seven Deadly Friendships is loosely based on the NLT version of Proverbs 6:16-19:

There are six things the Lord hates—
no, seven things he detests:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong,
a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family.

The author attempted to break the book into seven deadly friends but it was sometimes difficult to keep straight because so many of the characteristics were repea
Kim Hongsermeier miller
Sep 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was a wonderful, and insightful book by Mary E. DeMuth. I was fortunate, recently, to have read a PDF version of the book. Mary describes in very colorful descriptions what the seven deadly friendships and what they may look like in others or in yourself. Mary does a lovely job of sharing her testimony and other women testimony of how they became involved, or stayed involved in each relationship. There were some relationship that it was soul-ripping to stop the toxic relationship, and other ...more
Diana Hoekstra
Sep 18, 2018 rated it really liked it
Have you ever been in a friendship that was complicated? Then, you realized it actually felt toxic? When you spend time with this friend, you come away confused and exhausted. You wonder if you are the crazy one. You relive entire conversations with this person in your head trying to make sense of it. Maybe your friend is one of the seven deadly friendships Mary DeMuth discusses in her great new book! She takes the seven deadly sins from scripture (Proverbs) and shows what these look like in our ...more
Leigh Powers
Oct 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
We'd all like to think that we left friendship drama behind in junior high, but navigating adult friendships can also be tricky. Sometimes we know there is something wrong with a relationship, but we can't quite put our finger on it. Sometimes we may wonder how what looked like a beautiful friendship wound up being so painful, and sometimes we may wonder if the problem in the relationship is really us. In the Seven Deadly Friendships, author Mary De Muth identifies seven deadly relationship patt ...more
Jennifer L.
Sep 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
I jumped in reading this to find out about all of these horrible friends that would be tagged as deadly. I was thankful to absorb the wisdom in this portion of the book, and I was also thankful that Mary gently pointed out places where I might have blindly become a bad friend. (Which I have, by the way.) I didn't realize how much I would love the second portion of the book. Looking at Joseph and Jesus's lives as guidance on how to handle those friendships that aren't healthy (and may never be he ...more
Tandy Hogate
Sep 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Run, don’t walk. Get this book preordered. I can not recommend it enough.

As a member of Mary DeMuth’s launch team I was given a prerelease copy of this book to read - I had no idea it would rock my world and soothe my battered heart the way it has.

Mary prays for her readers daily. Knowing I was being prayed for as I read the book just felt good.

Here is a tiny excerpt from the intro. I’ll post more over time but this is just beautiful.

“My hunch is that you picked up this book because of a cru
Aug 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
As beings who are created for authentic community, some of our deepest hurts can be traced back to instances where community wasn’t practiced in healthy ways. In Mary DeMuth’s latest book, The Seven Deadly Friendships, she takes us on an eye-opening journey through Proverbs 6:16-19. Readers will find healing, courage, and gentle conviction as she paints pictures of seven “friends” who practice the very behaviors the Lord hates. In the first portion of the book, Mary begins each chapter with a ch ...more
Aug 22, 2018 rated it really liked it
I was able to preview an advanced PDF copy of this book. I was first attracted by that cover, then the title. Mary has taken the seven deadly sins and broken them down to describe "The Seven Deadly Friendships" that one could encounter in their lifetime. These relationships don't have to be friendships. They can describe a parental relationship, a romantic relationship, a work relationship. The list goes on. If you've lived to be twenty years old, you've encountered at least one of these difficu ...more
Emily P
Aug 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Mary DeMuth has once again sent out powerful words into the world. Anyone who's experienced a strained relationship with a friend or family member can find wisdom and encouragement from "The Seven Deadly Friendships." There are specific chapters that set out problematic friend archetypes to help readers determine which friendship they are facing. Each chapter proceeds into areas some rarely talk about, a skill Mary deftly uses in all of her books. Being ready to face the challenge of one of thes ...more
Aug 27, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Mary DeMuth does a great job examining the toxic relationships we have all experienced. She skillfully identifies the various characteristics of these friendly foes. Then shares biblical wisdom and powerful insight to help heal from the pain and devastation caused by these deadly friends!
Aug 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Mary DeMuth offers hope and healing to the hurting in The Seven Deadly Friendships. It sounds trite, but it’s true.

The book’s convenient organization makes for easy reading, which helps balance the heavy nature of the topic. Each chapter of the first part contains the same sections: introduction, character traits, example stories, what the Bible says, what if this is me?

Mary sprinkles hope throughout the entire book and focuses on healing in the second half. She wisely and beautifully points th
Beth Berryman
Aug 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book could not have come to me at a better time. Mary explains several types of friends that have toxic tendencies. The second half of the book offers a biblical perspective of these same types of situations. There is a lot of good information on healing and overcoming the impact of negative friendships in an easy to understand fashion offered in this book.
I did receive a pdf copy to review. This review is my own reflection.
Aug 17, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book outlines 7 different toxic relationships and how to spot them, scripture on how to handle each of them and how to be victorious. I love that she shares about the toxic relationship of people in the Bible and how God still uses them for his glory. Great book, I highly recommend!
Chautona Havig
Oct 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
What Did I Learn about The Seven Deadly Friendships?
Oy! Where do I begin? You see, this book doesn’t just say, “Nervous Nellie (not a real friendship type) isn’t healthy because she is encouraging you to sin by being anxious.” Honestly, if I hadn’t heard Mary DeMuth speak on the topic of her book, I might not have bought it because that is the assumption I would have made.

I would have been wrong—so very wrong.

With kindness, compassion, and firmness without condemnation, Ms. DeMuth takes us bit b
Leslie Porter
Oct 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
What a powerful read! Mary DeMuth writes as though she's peering over your shoulder into your life and seeing the good and bad. But she offers empathy, gentle correction and scripturally-sound direction.

When I started The Seven Deadly Friendships, I expected to just read about people who had hurt me and learn techniques about how to get past the betrayal and pain. I was definitely able to apply her teaching and stories to current and past relationships. However, the amazing thing was, I saw just
Diane Steiger
Oct 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Toxic friendships eventually blow up, and the shock waves of relational chaos often send the wounded friend into isolation, delaying the process of healing. Mary DeMuth wakes us out of this stupor. "What wounds you is what heals you." Those healthy long-term friendships that we desire don't just magically happen. They are born out of fighting through fear, facing our own toxic relating styles, and trusting God through the pain. This author shows us how to identify toxic relationships and offers ...more
Sep 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I can’t recommend this book enough!

As I read “The Seven Deadly Friendships,” I kept thinking one thing over and over: This message of this book is so important. Living in a fallen world, we are bound to have deadly friendships—and they never leave us the same. And as the Mary DeMuth points out, Christians are not immune to destructive friendships—in fact, sometimes we are more susceptible to them because of our desire to show grace. Toxic friendships are a tactic of the enemy to create destruct
Oct 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I am in a unique season of life. We recently moved halfway across the country. I've had some unique health and personal challenges in the last few years. I've seen another side of friendships I never knew existed. Through my trials I have discovered a lot about the people I thought were friends. I discovered a lot about myself and the kind of friend I am. This book comes into my life at the perfect time.

We're in an unprecedented time in history. Thanks to Social Media, we are more connected tha
Catherine Segars
Oct 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
DeMuth is one of those rare writers who paints a picture in such heartbreaking detail that you feel like you were there. And in a way, you were, because then you realize that something very similar happened to you. The Seven Deadly Friendships is a fascinating read chocked full of vivid relationship struggles and detailed descriptions of each destructive personality type. I gobbled up some sections lickety-split, and then, surprisingly, I slowed to a snail’s pace when all this sediment rose to t ...more
Randy Tramp
Oct 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Proverbs: A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.

Toxic is all around us. Hurting people hurt people.

Mary gives personal examples of friendships gone wrong.
I like this piece of advice she gives: Help me to be gutsy and bold enough to share my pain story with someone. And give me a quiet heart to listen when they pray and offer counsel. The first part is easy, the second, not so much.

There is so much good information in this book. It gi
Nov 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley for my unbiased review.

In "The Seven Deadly Friendships", DeMuth breaks down the seven types of toxic relationships she has encountered in her life. The descriptions of each of them are very thorough and detailed. You can tell she did her research! It really opened my eyes about some of my past relationships and hurts. She details each of them in a way that doesn't demonize any of them, yet still shows their danger. I loved that she had real-life exa
Aurora Gregory
Oct 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Friendships are supposed to be life-giving but what happens when they are soul-sucking instead? The fact that there’s not a lot written about bad or toxic friendships is why I’m so grateful Mary DeMuth wrote this book. When friendships go bad – or were always bad – you need to grieve and learn before you can move on. Mary helps readers do both with her transparent writing style and focus on ultimately allowing Jesus to become the guide you use to choose earthly friendships while making Him the u ...more
Oct 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Adult friendships can be so difficult, and this timely book offers tools to discern why that might be. I love Mary's humble heart that not only identifies the extremes of each "deadly" friendship she addresses, but the subtle ways dysfunction and sin can creep into our own hearts. Her honesty and vulnerability makes this a tender book, pointing back to Jesus and the hope he offers us for healing from friendship wounds, and forgiveness for the wounds we inflict to our friends. Mary is a prayerful ...more
Misti Gil
Sep 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
In a culture where intimate, face-to-face community has to be more intentionally pursued, this book is timely and entertainingly instructive. Mary DeMuth includes tons of vulnerable and relatable stories of her own friendships that help identify possible toxic relationships you might be involved in. But what I love the most about this book is the hope it communicates. After discovering tendencies of a couple of these friendships not only in a friend but in myself, I was pleased when Mary served ...more
Stephanie Rollins
Oct 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I grew up with narcissism. Then, I married a narcissistic man. Mary Demuth explains why this is in her book The Seven Deadly Friendships. The answer is that I never healed, so I sought out my "normal". Normal is comfortable even when it is unhealthy.

In this book, Demuth describes seven unhealthy friendships, but this could, also, be seven unhealthy dating relationships and business relationships. She gives examples, characteristics, and Biblical advice.

I love how quickly this reads. It is very c
Carolyn Harper
Sep 30, 2018 rated it really liked it
If I could, I’d rate this book 3-1/2 stars. The deadly friendships described in the first part of the book seem somewhat contrived, sharing many of the same characteristics, though they certainly have differences. I understand the author’s reason for dividing them up the way she did, but I would have been satisfied with a good treatise on what comprises toxic relationships without the labels. The second part of the book, though, is where the strength of the writing lies. To me, this part is much ...more
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Mary E. DeMuth loves to help readers turn their trials into triumphs. Her books include Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God (Harvest House, 2005), Building the Christian Family You Never Had (WaterBrook, 2006), Watching the Tree Limbs, Wishing on Dandelions (NavPress, 2006), and Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture (Harvest House 2007). A mother of three, Mary lives with her husband Patrick and ...more
“When I became a Christian as a teenager, I gathered a false belief to myself that my Christian friends would be my forever friends. Surely, since we both loved Jesus and followed Him, we would always be in each other's lives. No one would hurt the other -- because Jesus! It didn't take long for that theory of mine to be tested by reality.” 2 likes
“Sometimes dramatic people try to draw you into someone else's drama, and that never ends well. Interfering is like pulling on a dangerous dog's ears. Do it at your own peril.” 1 likes
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