Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.

Start by marking “White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” as Want to Read:

Other editions

Enlarge cover

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

Open Preview

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Robin DiAngelo,

Michael Eric Dyson (Foreword)

4.49 · Rating details · 17,603 ratings · 2,997 reviews

The New York Times best-selling book exploring the counterproductive reactions white people have when their assumptions about race are challenged, and how these reactions maintain racial inequality.

Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt and by behaviors ...more

Get A Copy

Paperback, 154 pages

Published June 26th 2018 by Beacon Press

More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about White Fragility, please sign up.

Lists with This Book

When They Call You a Terrorist by Patrisse Khan-Cullors

Tears We Cannot Stop by Michael Eric Dyson

America Is Not the Heart by Elaine Castillo

Immigrant Justice & Anti-Racism

113 books — 12 voters

This Will Be My Undoing by Morgan Jerkins

I'll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

2018 Non-male Non-Fiction

295 books — 156 voters

More lists with this book...

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30

Average rating 4.49 ·

Rating details

· 17,603 ratings · 2,997 reviews

More filters

Sort order

Start your review of White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Sep 04, 2018 Lois rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: audio-book, non-fiction, politics, books-i-read-in-2018, books-i-own-digital-copy, u-s-history, poc-pov-char-or-peripheral-char, feminist-books

This book is written by a white person for other whites.
Most of what she writes is common sense but no doubt useful for white folks struggling to not feel attacked when racism is discussed.
I was annoyed at a remark about 25% in where she points out that she isn't a fan of black history month or black firsts. Sigh, sigh, sigh. Her opinion on what black folks create for themselves is irrelevant, racially insensitive and out of pocket. I agree with her that black firsts should be presented as This book is written by a white person for other whites.
Most of what she writes is common sense but no doubt useful for white folks struggling to not feel attacked when racism is discussed.
I was annoyed at a remark about 25% in where she points out that she isn't a fan of black history month or black firsts. Sigh, sigh, sigh. Her opinion on what black folks create for themselves is irrelevant, racially insensitive and out of pocket. I agree with her that black firsts should be presented as finally white people stop being so racist and let this black person participate. I'd argue with her that's what black folk already understand to be the context. Which is why she should not offer white opinions on what black folks create to celebrate themselves, it has no white context. So if you're not black you won't get it and you don't need to. It's not for you.
Sigh.
Otherwise good ice breaker for whites. This quickly needs to be followed up by real facts provided by blacks: Stamped From The Beginning by Ibram X Kendi would be my suggestion.
Now you know why you feel sensitive and why you don't need to- here's the history you benefit from and the effect it has on those who do not benefit so you do.

Edited to add an expanded suggested reading list:
Black and British by David Olusoga
So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
When They Call You A Terrorist by Patrisse Khan-Cullors
The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
White Rage by Carol Anderson
How We Get Free by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor
The Price for their Pound of Flesh by Daina Ramey Berry
Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race by Reni Edo-Lodge
Well that escalated quickly by Franchesca Ramsey
Medical Apartheid by Harriet A Washington
The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
The History of White People by Nell Irvin Painter
Algorithms of Oppression by Safiya Umoja Noble
Black Resistance, White Law by Mary Frances Berry
Sundown Towns by James Loewen
Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis
A Terrible Thing to Waste: Environmental Racism and Its Assault on the American Mind by Harriet A Washington ...more

flag 507 likes · Like · see review

Mar 28, 2018 Aaron Akbar rated it it was amazing

The book raises striking and specific points about how as whites we have biases toward race while pretending we are colorblind. She states specific examples, and outlays practical way forward.

Most of the lower star ratings of this book seem to be exhibiting the exact fragility she outlines, and really only prove to drive her point home further.
Even more, they seem to ignore the very clear outlining in the book of difference between personal and systemic racism. That the way forward is to stop ...more

flag 245 likes · Like · see review

Apr 12, 2019 Jenna rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, race, sociology, wake-up

I began reading this book with the assumption that I'd get a better understanding of why it's so hard to talk to other white people about race. Maybe there'd be a couple things I needed to be aware of in myself, but all in all, this would be a book about other white people.

Well! Damn if I wasn't wrong! Right in the beginning, Robin DiAngelo knocked me off of my why-I'm-not-racist pedestal. She called me out in the very beginning by suggesting that I the reader was probably sitting there ...more

flag 177 likes · Like · see review

Oct 18, 2019 Thomas rated it it was amazing

Shelves: own-physical, nonfiction, five-stars, read-for-dmv-bookclub

An excellent, powerful book I would recommend to all white people. It scares me a bit to write that because I imagine some white people may take offense to that statement (an emotional reaction Robin DiAngelo discusses in the book), and at the same time I stand by it. I will write a little about this book’s high quality, though I want to start with a personal story that may help explain why this book means a lot to me.

Around a year ago, I called a white woman colleague out on a behavior of hers An excellent, powerful book I would recommend to all white people. It scares me a bit to write that because I imagine some white people may take offense to that statement (an emotional reaction Robin DiAngelo discusses in the book), and at the same time I stand by it. I will write a little about this book’s high quality, though I want to start with a personal story that may help explain why this book means a lot to me.

Around a year ago, I called a white woman colleague out on a behavior of hers that involved racism and colonization. Before I did so, I tried very hard to make sure that I delivered my concern in a gentle and affirming way. I put in extra effort to validate her as a person and I acted even nicer than perhaps I should have felt obligated to. This white woman asked me to meet in person after I emailed her my concern, and because I had trusted her, I agreed to this meeting.

In this meeting, this white woman displayed the exact set of behaviors DiAngelo describes in this book – white fragility. She said that she felt offended and hurt that I would accuse her of behaving in a colonizing/racist way. She said that no one in her life had ever or would ever call her out on this behavior. She said that I acted “aggressively” and that I should have “trusted” her more instead of blaming her. I want to reiterate that throughout this in-person meeting, I tried again and again to placate her with gentle reassurances while standing my ground. Still, she said that she felt hurt and centered her feelings over mine.

After this meeting, I felt devastated. I walked to my office, shut the door, and practiced a lot of deep breathing to calm down. I felt so misunderstood and tone-policed – I had just tried to offer this white woman gentle feedback on a problematic behavior, and she acted as if I had attacked her. Luckily, I was able to reach out to my friends (both people of color and white friends) who validated my experience and I read a ton of articles on tone-policing to understand that other people of color, especially black women, undergo the same discriminatory behavior.

I share this experience for the specific purpose of highlighting why I feel so grateful for Robin DiAngelo. Due to this incident and others, there are times where I feel fearful of sharing my true self and my authentic reactions around white people, because a lot of white people practice tone policing and white fragility. DiAngelo names these behaviors and explains how they hurt people of color. She breaks down the common ways white people collude in white supremacy, the problematic nature of the good/bad binary in relation to racism, and common racial triggers for white people. Here is a quote I appreciated about why white fragility acts as a form of bullying:

”White fragility functions as a form of bullying; I am going to make it so miserable for you to confront me – no matter how diplomatically you try to do so – that you will simply back off, give up, and never raise the issue again. White fragility keeps people of color in line and ‘in their place.’ In this way, it is a powerful form of white racial control. Social power is not fixed; it is constantly challenged and needs to be maintained. We might think of the triggers of white fragility discussed in chapter 7 as challenges to white power and control, and of white fragility as the means to end the challenge and maintain that power and control.”

I know that I should not applaud DiAngelo for doing the work that all white people should do, and again, I feel grateful to know that there are white people who will do the work of racial justice. Allies matter. For better or worse, white people listen to fellow white people more than they listen to people of color when it comes to racism, so we need white allies to show up to help dismantle white supremacy. Reading this book validated the experiences I have undergone as a person of color and helped reassure me that while there are a lot of white people who will hurt me, like the white woman in the incident described above, there are others, hopefully, who will use their privilege to fight for people of color. Here is another quote about how emotions are political and related to issues of social justice:

”Many of us see emotions as naturally occurring. But emotions are political in two key ways. First, our emotions are shaped by our biases and beliefs, our cultural frameworks. For example, if I believe – consciously or unconsciously – that it is normal and appropriate for men to express anger but not women, I will have very different emotional responses to men’s and women’s expressions of anger. I might see a man who expresses anger as competent and in charge and may feel respect for him, while I see a woman who expresses anger as childish and out of control and may feel contempt for her. If I believe that only bad people are racist, I will feel hurt, offended, and shamed when an unaware racist assumption of mine is pointed out. If I instead believe that having racist assumptions is inevitable (but possible to change), I will feel gratitude when an unaware racist assumption is pointed out; now I am aware of and can change that assumption. In this way, emotions are not natural; they are the result of the frameworks we are using to make sense of social relations. And of course, social relations are political. Our emotions are also political because they are often externalized; our emotions drive behaviors that impact other people.”

Again, highly recommended to all white people and also people of color interested in this topic. DiAngelo’s writing is clear, straightforward, and intelligent. She analyzes the issue of white fragility with great depth while providing tangible actions white people can take to address this issue. I hope white people who read this book will utilize its lessons and apply them to their own lives, whether or not anyone else watches. I hope that my fellow people of color know that you are not alone in experiencing white fragility and its painful repercussions. ...more

flag 119 likes · Like · see review

Feb 13, 2019 ☾ h a d e e r ☽ rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2019

I'm undecided as to how to rate this book. On the one hand, it's a fantastic first step for folks just becoming aware of racism. But personally, as a POC who has been engaging with these concepts for years now, I found it very rudimentary. Which I can't really criticize it for! It's meant to be rudimentary! But it meant that my reading experience was both quick and a little dull. Which is no fault of the book. I will say that I was introduced to some sociological concepts that I hadn't been ...more

flag 103 likes · Like · see review

Jul 26, 2018 Jack Heller rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This book will cut you, white person, no slack. If you think you're progressive about race--and most white people think they are--you will be confronted by this book. It's not aimed at Klansmembers. It's aimed at the people who don't recognize where they fall short. That's me. It's probably you too.

flag 85 likes · Like · see review

Aug 02, 2018 Trish rated it it was amazing

Shelves: america, political-science, race, nonfiction, audio, psychology

The provocative title of this book is a draw. What are we doing, saying, thinking that is unconscious and yet still brings out some kind of anger or fear response in us when challenged? I am constantly learning how much I don’t know about race in America and much more there is to know. DiAngelo is also white, by the way. She, too, makes racist mistakes, though more rarely now, even years after immersing herself in how it manifests. We can’t escape it. We have to acknowledge it.

That is basically The provocative title of this book is a draw. What are we doing, saying, thinking that is unconscious and yet still brings out some kind of anger or fear response in us when challenged? I am constantly learning how much I don’t know about race in America and much more there is to know. DiAngelo is also white, by the way. She, too, makes racist mistakes, though more rarely now, even years after immersing herself in how it manifests. We can’t escape it. We have to acknowledge it.

That is basically what this book is about. How we must acknowledge our race, that we do in fact see race, that we make assumptions about people based on race, how we need to disrupt habitual patterns of interaction, and then consciously try to put ourselves in the way of disrupting the patterns of racism which are literally claiming the lives of too many people of color for reasons we would never recognize as legitimate in our own lives. It’s been—give or take—one hundred and fifty years since the Civil War. Sometimes it feels as it hasn’t been won by anti-slavers. Shame on us.

The first part of the book is a slow and careful baby-steps leading to a hot-button topic, giving readers/listeners time to blow off their indignation and stop being surprised that yes, she is going to talk about white supremacy in American life and how this consistently sidelines the needs, emotions, and opportunities of people of color. She is going to talk about the ways white people consistently deny this truth, do not recognize it applies to all white people, all of whom benefit from the system as it operates in the United States. But the best part comes at the end, when she cites people like me who have said, "Yeah, but I know this already," or "But I’m not racist," or "I have friends who are black," or "I’ve lived overseas," etc.

DiAngelo talks about white solidarity:

"The unspoken agreement among white to protect white advantage and not cause another white person to feel racial discomfort by confronting them when they say or do something racially problematic…Why speaking up about racism would ruin the ambiance [at the dinner table or in a social situation] or threaten our career advancement is something we might want to talk about."

and

"meritocracy is a precious ideology in the United States, but neighborhoods and schools are demonstrably not equal; they are separate and unequal."

and

"We are taught we lose nothing of value through racial segregation."

Racism is systemic, institutional, omnipresent, and epistemologically embedded in our reality, according to filmmaker Omowale Akintunde. It is not like murder: we don't have to "commit it" for it to happen. It can be unconscious.

The best argument I have ever heard for why we falsely assume racism doesn’t exist when we don't mean to do something racist is this: a woman married to a man would never say, "Because I am married to a man, I have a gender-free life." Even a married woman will carry prejudices with her about men. Di Angelo insists we do not set up a false binary: racism is bad, non-racists are good. It is probably better to think of ourselves on a continuum. With effort, we can improve our understanding but because the system operates without our consent, we will never escape it.

We are reminded that the white identity needs black people in order to exist. Around blackness we have created certain myths (about dangerousness, laziness, etc) which we may have thought we’d eradicated until some stray incident makes them come flooding back to consciousness. Whiteness is then a false identity, of superiority. A black person who steps out of their ‘place’ and demands to be treated equally, as in sports stars or popular singers, may trigger a backlash. DiAngelo gives a brilliant exegesis of the book/movie The Blind Side about a poor black high school football player adopted by a rich white family, and how it perpetrates dominant white ideologies. That book came out to great acclaim only in 2007. It seems like a lifetime since then, but it is only ten years.

Race and racism are emotional subjects. We may discover the ways whites have perpetrated a system of injustice against people of color out of ignorance, but ignorance is no longer a good excuse. We have work to do disrupting what we see as race bias in America today, making sure our kids are educated in a way that improves their understanding of conscious/unconscious race bias, and making sure they understand their lives will be deficient without interaction with and understanding of black lives.

We must work to widen our circles so that people of color are a part of our worldview, always remembering we are doing this for ourselves, not for the benefit of people of color. We are not being generous; we are seeking justice. Ask for feedback, but don’t be overly sensitive when people respond. Feedback is useful. Make sure to keep the focus on learning, not on one’s own fragility. And remember, one doesn’t have to intend to be racist to act in a racist way. It’s the water we swim in.

I listened to the audio of this, narrated by Amy Landon, and had access to a paper copy. DiAngelo gives a terrific short ‘Continuing Ed’ bibliography in the back, sharing other excellent titles. There are sure to be a couple of articles or books or podcast you still haven’t seen. There was only one book I admired that I did not see listed there: Good White People by Shannon Sullivan, out of the University of North Carolina. DiAngelo makes note of the terrific podcast, Seeing White, put together by a team headed by John Biewen out of Duke University. All of it is worthwhile. ...more

flag 83 likes · Like · see review

Dec 05, 2018 Eric rated it did not like it

This is absolute genius!

Let's start with a book (is it a book, really? Content and page count it's more a pamphlet) with a subtitle that dismisses any logical argument or counterpoint to the content of the pamphlet as being 'afraid to talk about' the subject. Let's then publish the pamphlet at a time when we're surrounded by white people who can't shut up about racism and are fighting tooth and nail over who can appear to be the most enlightened 'woke' white people. We'll finish the pamphlet by ...more

flag 58 likes · Like · see review

May 01, 2019 Jessaka rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: taoism

We had a Native American come to a group that I attend, and the first words out of his mouth were, “I hate blacks.” I wasn’t there, but it was my understanding that the leader of the group gave him hell, how much hell I do not know. But no one else spoke up, and this bothered him. I heard this story and ran into him the following week when he sat down at the table where we were having breakfast. When he said that he was from Tulsa, I said, “When I think of Tulsa I think of the race riot in 1920 We had a Native American come to a group that I attend, and the first words out of his mouth were, “I hate blacks.” I wasn’t there, but it was my understanding that the leader of the group gave him hell, how much hell I do not know. But no one else spoke up, and this bothered him. I heard this story and ran into him the following week when he sat down at the table where we were having breakfast. When he said that he was from Tulsa, I said, “When I think of Tulsa I think of the race riot in 1920 when the white people burned down the black town in Tulsa, a large neighborhood with stores, doctors, lawyers, ministers, shop keepers, etc, and they killed men, women, and children.” I was trying to see for myself where this man would go with what I was telling him. He claimed that it was the black man’s fault, so I said, “If it was, there was no excuse to kill everyone they found and burn down their town.” I went on to say that I had read books on the riot, now called a “massacre,” and I didn’t see it as any black man’s fault. He felt that we should not even be talking about something that happened `100 years ago. I said, “They do because they have been traumatized.: I am not quick on conversations like this, but I would have added, :and they still are being traumatized due to senseless killings, etc. ” He said then that he didn’t like talking about race because he has been accused of being racist. When he got up from the table where we were sitting, he said that the KKK were good people, but I didn’t hear him; instead I my friend, who was sitting next to me, told me his last words.

So, I talked with the group leader, saying that people don’t know what racism is, that if they believe it to be true that a certain race is lazy or violent, etc. they don’t consider themselves to be racists. I added that we need a lecture on it. He said that people don’t listen to him because he is brown. I replied, “My ex white friends didn’t listen to me either, even though they believed I was completely white.” Well, the next time we had that group meeting, the racist man wasn’t there, but the leader talked about racism. It was this book that he used, so I got it.

I am sorry to say this: I didn’t care for this book sometimes her language was above my level of understanding. But then I felt myself getting pushed out of shape because it felt like she wanted to show everyone in her group that they were all racists. Maybe I am wrong here.

I often find myself getting pushed out of shape in this day and age, the age of Trumpism. I dropped 5 friends due to their racist comments, not because they made them, but because they didn’t wish to understand why their comments were not true. They were sticking to their beliefs, and their beliefs were appalling to me. And that, I believe, is what made them racists.

I am sure if I were in this author’s group she would believe that I was a racist, that is just what I felt when reading this book, although I consider myself an anti-racist. A white person couldn’t win. She seems to give no credit where credit is due.

One woman had said that she had friends who were black and on and on. The author was not impressed. So, I suppose you can’t say that you dated black men or Hispanic, etc. or that you were even married to one.

Back to the group that I attend weekly: Someone in our group brought up the governor, the one who wore black face in college. One person felt he should step down, I said, “I didn’t think so.” I didn’t add this: “We all make mistakes. I am interested in what kind of person he is now. Is he doing good?” But I imagine that this person felt that I was a racist. And this is the problem in our society now: people are looking to accuse others of racism, and I feel that that is what this author is doing too.

I have a white friend that I have known since my college days. She only dated black men, and she had a daughter from a black man. She used to say that black people were always late for appointments, and she called it “BP Time, Black People’s Time.” I imagine that she would be called a racist too, not someone who is just making generalizations.

Update: I decided last night to listen to parts of the book again, and came upon a chapter called “White tears,” tears that white women have when they see violence performed on black people. She claims that white tears are how white people lament on how hard racism is on them, and to back up her beliefs she says that other writers have commented on this too. She says that white women feel entitled to shed them. I listened further, and if any white person in her group begins to cry, they are asked to leave the room, because they are upsetting the black women who can’t stand white people’s tears. Plus, the woman crying is bringing attention to herself. So, I began to feel that she is standing up for the black people, when she should be investigating all of this in the group encounter that she is running. So, now I am really against this book. Most people don’t cry out of white guilt over slavery or to bring attention to themselves or whatever the reason.

Tears come without warning; they are due to compassion, not guilt. I have a hard time believing that white people feel guilty for what their ancestors did in the past. Maybe some do. But most of all we cry when we see pain in others. It doesn’t matter if they are black or white or brown. Who hasn’t felt the pain of the children at the Mexican border who are crying and being torn from their mother’s arms? Well, not everyone does as I have found out. I know of three people, when I mentioned this, immediately brought up how the Democrats behave. They deflected the subject, didn’t care about the children. Perhaps we feel guilty for chasing the Mexicans back to Mexico many years ago. Or for giving these “lazy” Mexicans jobs that the white man didn’t wish to perform, paying them very little and not caring for their medical needs.

I cried at the Wounded Knee museum when I read about the massacre of the Lakota Indians, whom I consider my people, even though I am not Lakota but Cherokee. Did I feel guilty because I wasn’t there? Did I feel guilty because my white ancestors killed them?

I cried when I read about the Tulsa race riot and went to the museum in Tulsa and saw that there was no black town left.

The author can call it what she wants, but I am not buying it. A much better book to read is, Dear White America by Tim Wise. He educates, explains racism without accusing. Any book by him is better than this one. He is a white anti-racist. I would also suggest reading books by black writers or take courses in black history. If fingers are still pointed at the white people, you can be sure that you won’t be blamed. And it will help you to see your own shortcomings without having any white guilt placed on you or be told that you are a racist. ...more

flag 54 likes · Like · see review

Apr 19, 2018 Scott Freeman rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2018

This should be mandatory reading for all white people. Truly important.

flag 52 likes · Like · see review

May 26, 2019 Jenny (Reading Envy) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: read2019, newest-literary-fiction-group

I've spent the last month discussing this book in a Goodreads group. While the book is only 169 pages, it was helpful to proceed slowly and really talk about the points DiAngelo was trying to make, working past the defensiveness. I feel like it should be required reading for all white people. DiAngelo ends the book with very practical ideas that I found very useful.

Highlights:

-The concept of belonging and how central it is to whiteness, more of an assumption

"If you believe that you are being ...more

flag 47 likes · Like · see review

Mar 30, 2018 Andre rated it it was amazing

Robin DiAngelo comes hard in this one and takes no prisoners. There are going to be many hurt feelings for those willing and courageous enough to delve into this examination of White Fragility.

“This book is unapologetically rooted in identity politics. I am white and am addressing a common white dynamic. I am mainly writing to a white audience; when I use the terms us and we, I am referring to the white collective.”

White Fragility is conceptualized as responses to conversations around race. Robin DiAngelo comes hard in this one and takes no prisoners. There are going to be many hurt feelings for those willing and courageous enough to delve into this examination of White Fragility.

“This book is unapologetically rooted in identity politics. I am white and am addressing a common white dynamic. I am mainly writing to a white audience; when I use the terms us and we, I am referring to the white collective.”

White Fragility is conceptualized as responses to conversations around race. Since white people have never had to think of themselves as white, any race based conversation exposes their fragility.

“The smallest amount of racial stress is intolerable—the mere suggestion that being white has meaning often triggers a range of defensive responses.”

Although her target audience is white people, this certainly doesn’t mean Black folks and others cannot or will not benefit from this examination. As she states,

“People who do not identify as white may also find this book helpful for understanding why it is often difficult to talk to white people about racism. People of color cannot avoid understanding white consciousness to some degree if they are to be successful in this society, yet nothing in dominant culture affirms their understanding or validates their frustrations when they interact with white people.”

As you can sense from the above quotes this is not an easy ride, but if one is willing to be uncomfortable then there is much to be learned. I’m sure some readers will recoil at some of what is revealed on these pages and will seek cover. But when you understand racism as a system and not as individual rantings of hateful people, you can get a sense of the role you currently play in upholding the system. And this book is designed to aid you in understanding that role and how to escape it.

“Racism occurs when a racial group’s collective prejudice is backed by the power of legal authority and institutional control.”

Because the author is also a diversity trainer, she recounts plenty of workshop examples in the book of how white fragility played out in workshop dynamics often to the detriment of all participants. The hope is that readers may recognize these situations as familiar or even see glimpses of their own behavior and begin to make adjustments. Robin DiAngelo has a very important discussion covering chapter 5, called the good/bad binary. The chapter essentially deals with an adaptation of racism into good vs bad people.

She skillfully dissects the arguments here always moving readers to a clearer understanding. I can’t help but think that some readers will be turned off for various reasons, but I assure you the writing is not mean spirited and it comes from a genuine place of wanting to be helpful. This is a book that should be read and shared with others. A great conversation starter for those interested in cross racial engagement. “To let go of the messenger and focus on the message is an advanced skill” and hopefully the message is what remains the focus of this extraordinary work. Thanks to Edelweiss and Beacon Press for an advanced digital review copy. Book will be published June 26, 2018. ...more

flag 44 likes · Like · see review

Nov 15, 2019 Caroline rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: All NON-black people, especially all whites

Shelves: nonfiction, litmus-test, she-wrote-it, race, sociology, favorites, psychology, most-powerful, get-smart, important-nonfiction

To be completely clear: This book is against racism. Readers who are against racism will support and applaud White Fragility. Readers who are against the book are displaying the very “white fragility” the author examines and explains so clearly an ant can understand it. A careful reread is therefore in order.

We cannot change what we won’t confront.

Racism is one of those ugly “isms,” but it stands out as the only one we don’t scrutinize to the same degree. In White Fragility, Robin DiAngelo ...more

flag 37 likes · Like · see review

Aug 02, 2018 Courtney rated it liked it

I nearly returned this book. I had purchased the audiobook from Audible, and I found the tone to be dry, dull, and schoolmarmish. If I was to picture Robin DiAngelo, it would be my middle school librarian, wagging her finger at me. I had this reaction despite knowing what tone policing is. Despite consciously being aware that it is a common response for whites to focus on the method of information delivery over the actual information being delivered, and to prioritize their comfort over the I nearly returned this book. I had purchased the audiobook from Audible, and I found the tone to be dry, dull, and schoolmarmish. If I was to picture Robin DiAngelo, it would be my middle school librarian, wagging her finger at me. I had this reaction despite knowing what tone policing is. Despite consciously being aware that it is a common response for whites to focus on the method of information delivery over the actual information being delivered, and to prioritize their comfort over the message, this was still my immediate reaction. That is the strength of white fragility in a nutshell.

My immediate reaction was that I did not need this book: I understand that to say you’re “colorblind” is neither helpful nor in any way actually possible. I understand that race influences every aspect of the everyday experiences of people of color (POC), and that as white people, we are responsible to not only be allies but actually to be active proponents and advocates of change. My initial intention, upon choosing to read the book, was to help my “less woke” friends, to perhaps understand some of the dynamics that contributed to the phenomenon of Bernie Sanders deprioritizing race on his platform, and out of interest because race in America is something that I feel I have grappled with in the past, and have had to question myself around things such as why I would take the time to march for women’s rights but not for POC.

I listened to part of the audiobook with my mother in the car. She actually said one of the exact things that DiAngelo calls out as a way we as white people deny responsibility for engagement in race dialogue: “I’ve lived in Hawaii, so I know what it feels like to be a minority.” She votes Democrat. She was part of the civil rights movement in the 60s. She makes annual donations to nonprofits that support these causes. She told me to turn the book off and put on NPR.

However, I’m so glad I didn’t return this book. I’m so glad I stayed with it, all the way to the end, because DiAngelo’s primary argument is compelling: racism is a system that permeates our society, and that by being a part of that society, white people are inherently going to be racist. We’re going to say things and do unacceptable things that within the context of this racially charged environment, within the historical context of oppression and slavery and racial dominance, even despite the fact that some of us may have the best intentions. She argues that intentions don’t matter, it’s actions that matter, and when these missteps happen, we have learned that being “racist” is such a bad thing, that it’s very hard to hear and understand and correct for that behavior, when in fact that is exactly the thing we should be doing, to strive to be better.

These are strong words, and a strong message. DiAngelo’s primary statement is compelling, and important.

There are some aspects of the book that I found could be stronger: as I mentioned, the tone and delivery at times seemed off. I realize this is a difficult subject matter, and perhaps no tone would have won over all readers, but for me the tone used was probably the worst possible of all choices.

Additionally, DiAngelo relies heavily on her anecdotes and experiences as a corporate consultant and trainer on diversity in the workplace. Although this is certainly the basis of her experience, I found this central focus of the book to be myopic. DiAngelo’s message is much bigger than any one career path or set of racial awareness and inclusion trainings. By focusing on these examples, she does herself a disservice by pigeonholing her message unnecessarily. I also found this focus monotonous after several examples.

Finally, and in my opinion most importantly, I noticed that DiAngelo as a white person would occasionally interject quotes from POC (Ta Nehesi Coates, Ijeoma Oluo, amongst others, which in themselves I would consider to be mandatory reading), however I also noticed that there was only one instance where she actually asked a POC for her perspective and interpretation and feelings with regards to an incident being described. How can you write an entire book about white people’s fragility regarding race relations while nearly erasing the experience of POC? I consider this choice to be highly problematic. One cannot discuss white fragility without discussing the impact of white fragility on the experience of POC, and that impact cannot be an assumed impact: there needs to be the respect and the place for people to tell their own experience.

It is this final omission that is the primary reason that I am not rating this book higher. DiAngelo’s message is compelling, and I am grateful for the way she has helped me to re-think my engagement in the race dialogue and actions as a white person. However, I ended the book thinking that readers might still be better served by actually reading one of the books by POC that she quotes. ...more

flag 35 likes · Like · see review

Dec 11, 2018 Rebecca rated it did not like it

Half a century after the Civil Rights movement, vast disparities exist between blacks and whites in America. First and foremost, these group inequalities are caused by deep, historical trauma created by white racism and racist policies aimed against black persons and black culture. If slavery and Jim Crow caused a gaping wound, Civil Rights stitched it up; but underneath the wound still festers. How does this wound – the entrenched inequities between blacks and whites in America – continue to ...more

flag 31 likes · Like · see review

Dec 17, 2019 Becky rated it it was amazing

Shelves: library-books, politicalish, 2019, reviewed, non-fiction, audiobook, i-want-this, highly-recommended

I am a white woman.
Those of you who follow my reviews this year are likely aware that my interests have run to a lot of social justice work, and as such I have read a lot of books about or strongly featuring race issues this year. Most of that is non-fiction, written by brilliant writers who see things from a perspective that I just... don't have. I have not lived their experiences, or anything even remotely close to them... but I can read their words about them and learn from them.

I was able I am a white woman.
Those of you who follow my reviews this year are likely aware that my interests have run to a lot of social justice work, and as such I have read a lot of books about or strongly featuring race issues this year. Most of that is non-fiction, written by brilliant writers who see things from a perspective that I just... don't have. I have not lived their experiences, or anything even remotely close to them... but I can read their words about them and learn from them.

I was able to read this book so quickly after Ibram Kendi's How to Be an Antiracist due to luck, really. I am a member of several libraries via Overdrive, and the library system a county over added the audiobook recently, and I snagged an early hold on it. The hold on the Philly Free Library edition I was previously waiting on is currently sitting at 15 weeks with 109 holds on 15 copies. I bring this up for a couple reasons. 1) I'm happy that there's so much demand for this, because this is a really amazing and eye-opening book. 2) I'm EXTRA happy that libraries in my area are adding books like this to their systems, and that all of them are checked out. :D

According to Robin DiAngelo, I, as a white progressive, am the target audience for this book. I was a bit surprised by this, honestly, but after listening to her reasoning, it makes perfect sense. We tend to feel that because we, as social progressives, are in favor of equality and social justice that racist ideology doesn't apply to us. We see ourselves as beyond it, immune to it. She lays out very clearly that we (and SO MANY PEOPLE) fall into the "Good vs Bad" dichotomy when it comes to racism, wherein we buy into the belief that only BAD people hold racist beliefs or opinions or biases, which are based on hate and meanness, and that racist actions are performed by individuals (or groups of like-minded individuals). Therefore, if we consider ourselves to be a GOOD person, we cannot be racist.

I do this. I consider myself a good person, and did not consider myself to be racist. I have long recognized my own privilege (it's documented.) and have long been aware of racial injustice in this country. But after listening to this book, I can't honestly say that I'm not racist. I don't WANT to be racist, but I can't argue or deny that sometimes I do have biased thoughts and knee-jerk stereotypical reactions, and I will just call it what it is. I sometimes make offensive jokes or comments, not even realizing how hurtful and shitty they are. I'm sure that there's more that I am forgetting or maybe am not even aware of.

It was... disconcerting to realize this, to say the least. It's a very shitty feeling. After reading Ibram Kendi's book, not to mention the many others I read this year on the topic, and learning so much about the way that I think, and feeling like I was making positive progress toward BEING anti-racist... and then I have Ms. DiAngelo come along and essentially say "Well, you're trying, and that's good, but you have a LONG way to go..." it just took me down a peg. Or three.

Or ten. Sigh.

But this is good. This is WHY I have been reading all of this. To understand, to be more open and recognize this behavior in myself and work to be better. I am human, and fallible, and all that I can do is acknowledge my own behavior, take responsibility for it, and be open to improvement and growth. I'm trying.

She lays out that we are ALL conditioned by society to see race, to intrinsically understand the position of ones race in regards to another (IE: that being white is superior and beneficial, being black is inferior, etc), and to benefit from racism. She defines racism very specifically to mean race-based policies made by people with the power and authority with which to apply and uphold it. "Reverse racism" isn't a thing, because no other race has the power with which to institute policies that can affect the privilege of white people - therefore, only white people can be racist, at least as she defines it in sociological terms. Other races can hold race-based opinions and biases, discriminate, etc, but they can't be RACIST because they have no institutional power to enforce policies against white people as white people have historically and continually used against other races, but most specifically black people.

White fragility comes in when people refuse to see this, refuse to acknowledge it, and trot out all manner of defensive mechanisms to deflect any criticism or feedback or real discussion of racism or experiences or hurts by people of color. She lists out dozens of variations of this, from the old standard of "I have black friends" to "I marched in the 60s for civil rights, so I can't be racist" to "criticism of my racial biases is racist" to "White people can't say anything anymore without being called racist" etc etc etc. We've all heard them. Millions of times.

This book was written by a white woman who is a sociologist who is hired specifically to offer race-relation and diversity training to companies and groups. Again, she's SPECIFICALLY HIRED FOR THIS, yet the amount of defensiveness that she encounters daily boggles my mind. She's not surprised though. White people are on board with her presentation and information... until it becomes personal criticism of THEIR behavior. That's when the defensiveness kicks in, because saying "The comment you just made was hurtful to people of color" is HEARD as "You are racist. Because a racist is a bad person, YOU are a bad person."

I don't want to be that kind of white person. I don't want to uphold racism by refusing to see it, even if I have to look at myself to do so. And so I read books like this, to get perspective and try to do better. ...more

flag 26 likes · Like · see review

Jul 15, 2019 Kathleen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Apparently, I am a white ‘snowflake’—a white woman that cringes at any talk of the racial advantages I enjoy in my white-dominated world. DiAngelo has more than twenty years of conducting diversity training for American companies and has witnessed a number of recurring reactions from the participants—the main one being defensiveness. Or anger at federal programs like Affirmative Action. (Interesting fact--they primarily benefitted white women and not persons-of-color.) Are politicians, the ...more

flag 24 likes · Like · see review

Jun 14, 2018 Misha rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, read-2018, race, racism, nw-author

This is a powerful, essential book that encapsulates much of what DiAngelo has been cogently laying out in other articles and speeches. I appreciated having the thinking I have heard her articulate at events I have attended in one place. I am honored to host DiAngelo at my library for the release of this book.

Some incomplete notes from the end of the book (I should have been marking passages all along, but know I will read this again).

"White equilibrium is a cocoon of racial comfort, centrality, This is a powerful, essential book that encapsulates much of what DiAngelo has been cogently laying out in other articles and speeches. I appreciated having the thinking I have heard her articulate at events I have attended in one place. I am honored to host DiAngelo at my library for the release of this book.

Some incomplete notes from the end of the book (I should have been marking passages all along, but know I will read this again).

"White equilibrium is a cocoon of racial comfort, centrality, superiority, entitlement, racial apathy, and obliviousness, all rooted in an identity of being good people free of racism. Challenging this cocoon throws off our racial balance. Being racially off-balance is so rare, we have not had to build the capacity to sustain the discomfort. Thus, whites find these challenges unbearable and want them to stop." (112)

"As I have tried to show throughout this book, white people raised in Western society are conditioned into a white supremacist worldview because it is the bedrock of our society and its institutions. Regardless of whether a parent told you that everyone was equal, or the poster in the hall of your white suburban school proclaimed the value of diversity, or you have traveled abroad, of you have people of color in your workplace or family, the ubiquitous socializing power of white supremacy cannot be avoided. The messages circulate 24-7 and have little or nothing to do with intentions, awareness, or agreement. Entering the conversation with this understanding is freeing because it allows us to focus on 'how'--rather than 'if'--our racism is manifest. When we move beyond the good/bad binary, we can become eager to identify our racist patterns because interrupting those patterns becomes more important than managing how we think we look to others.
I repeat: stopping our racist patterns must be more important than working to convince others that we don't have them. We do have them, and people of color already know we have them; our efforts to prove otherwise are not convincing. An honest accounting of these patterns is no small task given the power of white fragility and white solidarity, but it is necessary." (129)

...more

flag 22 likes · Like · see review

Jul 14, 2019 Amy | Foxy Blogs rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: library2go, july-2019, re-read-2019, 2019-books

2nd re-read on 10/28/2019

White Fragility is a book written by a white woman talking to white people about racism.

She covers many different things surrounding racism and how race is handled.

The book gives a lot of food for thought and challenges white people especially white middle-aged women on how they react to certain situations. Such as when white women cry over social injustice and how upsetting that can be to a person of color. Since in the past white women's tears meant a black man was ...more

flag 22 likes · Like · see review

Sep 24, 2019 Justin rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I don’t really have a long, rambling review for this book. In short, White Fragility was extremely helpful for me. I’m a white guy dangerously approaching his mid-thirties while trying to desperately cling to his youth. I grew up and spent most of my life in the good ol’ south. I’m probably going through some sort of existential crisis based on the books I’m reading this year and the thoughts that keep dancing around inside my brain.

Anyway, the statistics and insights presented here were very ...more

flag 31 likes · Like · see review

Oct 12, 2018 CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian rated it it was amazing

Shelves: american, audiobooks, nonfiction, 5-stars

This short, focused book was a really fantastic learning experience for me! I appreciated how Diangelo integrated academic concepts while still keeping the book very accessible for non-academics.

I recognized a lot of my own reactions and those of other whites in discussions of race and racism in what Diangelo names "white fragility." Particularly salient pieces for me where her discussion of confusing safety with discomfort; the influence of the ideologies of colour blindness, individualism, ...more

flag 22 likes · Like · see review

Jun 27, 2018 Adam Shields rated it it was amazing

Short Review: I have been reading widely about racial issues and history over the past several years. There are so many essential books about racial history or memoirs of minorities. The path to learning about the impact of racism is long, but fairly clear. It is hard not to find a good book about different aspects of slavery, jim crow, immigration bias, discrimination in the economy or education or the justice system, etc.

What I have found less of and I think is important are the books directly ...more

flag 21 likes · Like · see review

Dec 30, 2018 Nate rated it liked it

Due to the nature of this book, anything less than 5-stars from a white reader should probably be explained. Definitely worth reading and gave me a lot to think about. White fragility and knee-jerk defensiveness is definitely present in me and something to work on (for the rest of my life). The education continues.

My only knock is the book felt a little long, but seemed short in the area I most wanted guidance: application and best ways to respond that go beyond perpetuating white fragility. ...more

flag 18 likes · Like · see review

Aug 18, 2018 Mehrsa rated it it was amazing

This book is excellent. I read waking up white and really liked that one and the books have similar content, but this one is much more instructive about how to handle white fragility. I wish for every person--white and non-white to read this book

flag 18 likes · Like · see review

Jan 17, 2019 Kate ☀️ Olson rated it it was amazing

Shelves: adult-reads, nonfiction

“I know that because I was socialized as white in a racism-based society, I have a racist worldview, deep racial bias, racist patterns, and investments in the racist system that has elevated me.” ~ Robin Diangelo in “White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism”

REVIEW ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON MY INSTAGRAM - @kate.olson.reads - all @ are Instagram
.
ALL THE STARS. I could write pages about this book, but won’t. I still have too much to think about. I was spurred to pick ...more

flag 17 likes · Like · see review

Aug 01, 2018 MEH rated it it was amazing

If you're white, read this book. If you're white and don't think you need to read this book, read it twice. If you're a person of color, tell all your white friends to read this book. If you're a person of color who has no white friends, make some, and then tell them to read this book.

flag 17 likes · Like · see review

Aug 06, 2018 Cinda Craig added it

I found this book very disappointing. Any positive contribution to a conversation on black/white relations in America that she might have given are drowned out by comments such as these: “Our simplistic definition of racism— as intentional acts of discrimination committed by immoral individuals engenders a confidence that we are not part of the problem. The claims we offer up as evidence are implausible.” (The dictionary offers this definition of racism: a belief or doctrine that inherent I found this book very disappointing. Any positive contribution to a conversation on black/white relations in America that she might have given are drowned out by comments such as these: “Our simplistic definition of racism— as intentional acts of discrimination committed by immoral individuals engenders a confidence that we are not part of the problem. The claims we offer up as evidence are implausible.” (The dictionary offers this definition of racism: a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to others.” I’m not sure why she needs to redefine the term, other than to have it include even unintentional acts that some could perceive as racist. It’s not hard to see why a lot of people at her seminars got upset when they were told they are racist because they are white, and that NOTHING they say to rebut that is “plausible.” Also see her concluding quote below.). Also “ . . . the United States is a global power, and through movies and mass media, corporate culture, advertising, US-owned manufacturing, military presence, historical colonial relations, missionary work and other means, white supremacy is circulated globally.” (This is a massive statement. How does she know this? Which groups of people in which countries have been impacted and how?). And “social forces that prevent us from attaining the racial knowledge we need” and that “function powerfully to hold the racial hierarchy in place . . . Include the ideologies of individualism and meritocracy, . . . “ (She talks a little bit about individualism, offers no data to back that up and doesn’t mention meritocracy again. How are these things holding the racial hierarchy in place? How about a definition and explanation of “racial hierarchy” and some studies showing these ideologies linked to specific outcomes.) Also, “individualism holds that we are each unique and stand apart from others, even those within our social groups. Objectivity tells us that it is possible to be free of bias. These ideologies make it very difficult for white people to explore the collective aspects of white experience .” (Where is the data to back this up? Studies? How does she know this is true?). “The racial ideology that circulates in the United States rationalizes racial hierarchies as the outcome of a natural order resulting from either genetics or individual effort or talent. Those who do not succeed are just not as naturally capable, deserving, or hardworking.” (I find this very confusing. What exactly is she saying? How do successful people of color fit in? How do unsuccessful white people fit in?). Even former President Obama is chastened: “Although rare individual people of color may be inside the circles of power—Colin Powell, Clarence Thomas, Marco Rubio, Barack Obama—they support the status quo and do not challenge racism in any way significant to be threatening.” And in conclusion she states, . . . a positive white identity is an impossible goal. White identity is inherently racist; white people do not exist outside the system of white supremacy.” She offers no data or other evidence to back up any of these assertions, other than her own thoughts and observations. While she does include some studies and a few statistics, she builds no foundation on which to ground her assertions. I often felt she was parroting someone else’s ideas but was lacking in a very thorough understanding of them. In the end she offers no hope, no redemption and no thought of forgiveness. I would not recommend this book to anyone. I gave it 0 stars. ...more

flag 16 likes · Like · see review

May 02, 2019 Lark Benobi rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: she-2019, nonfiction, 2019

This brisk brief book moves right along. Its main thesis is: "hey, white person who is reading this book, you may think you know a thing or two about racism, but in fact you are very stupid about it, and also, you are a racist yourself." DiAngelo proves her thesis to me over and over again, always with a sweetness of tone that reminded me of a patient grandma. It's a tone that allowed me to read on without feeling defensive, and without wanting to stop reading to debate her.

Sometimes the book ...more

flag 16 likes · Like · see review

Nov 07, 2018 Donald Powell rated it it was amazing

Shelves: other, anthropology

Compelling and transformative. This book is short but very meaty. The argument is irrefutable. The message is challenging, strident, internally consistent and intellectually honest. This is an organized and concise presentation of racism that anyone can read, track and understand. It is a book everyone should read, especially old white men, like me. I do not know if the author realizes it but many of the concepts, such as self inspection, making amends by admitting wrongs without explaining ...more

flag 17 likes · Like · see review

Dec 23, 2019 Ben Babcock rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2019-read, from-library, non-fiction, culture

I am white. I am extremely white, because I grew up (and currently live) in Thunder Bay, Ontario. Despite this city being situated on the lands of Fort William First Nation, it remains incredibly white and segregated (see Seven Fallen Feathers for more info). That’s changing a little now, and we have more people of colour coming here as immigrants and refugees. But I grew up largely sheltered from socializing with children of immigrants or with Anishinaabe children. It took me a long time in ...more

flag 13 likes · Like · see review

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … next »

new topic
Discuss This Book

topics	posts	views	last activity
Play Book Tag: White Fragility-3 stars	1	20	Dec 08, 2019 12:49PM
1	1	5	Aug 26, 2019 10:38AM
Leaders who Libra...: New Book: White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism	2	36	Jul 06, 2019 07:16AM

Readers also enjoyed

See similar books…

Genres

Nonfiction

1,053 users

Race

391 users

Social Movements > Social Justice

201 users

Politics

192 users

Sociology

123 users

See top shelves…

About Robin DiAngelo

Robin DiAngelo

361 followers

Books by Robin DiAngelo

What Does It Mean to Be White?: Developing White Racial Literacy

White Fragility, Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria and So You Want to Talk About Race [Hardcover] 3 Books Collection Set

White Fragility, Natives, Black Listed 3 Books Collection Set

Is Everyone Really Equal?: An Introduction to Key Concepts in Social Justice Education

More…

Trivia About White Fragility: ...

No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »

Quotes from White Fragility: ...

“It is white people’s responsibility to be less fragile; people of color don’t need to twist themselves into knots trying to navigate us as painlessly as possible.” — 39 likes

“I was co-leading a workshop with an African American man. A white participant said to him, "I don't see race; I don't see you as black." My co-trainer's response was, "Then how will you see racism?" He then explained to her that he was black, he was confident that she could see this, and that his race meant that he had a very different experience in life than she did. If she were ever going to understand or challenge racism, she would need to acknowledge this difference. Pretending that she did not noticed that he was black was not helpful to him in any way, as it denied his reality - indeed, it refused his reality - and kept hers insular and unchallenged. This pretense that she did not notice his race assumed that he was "just like her," and in so doing, she projected her reality onto him. For example, I feel welcome at work so you must too; I have never felt that my race mattered, so you must feel that yours doesn't either. But of course, we do see the race of other people, and race holds deep social meaning for us.” — 23 likes

More quotes…

See a Problem?

Preview — White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topic
Discuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Robin DiAngelo

Books by Robin DiAngelo

Trivia About White Fragility: ...

Quotes from White Fragility: ...

See a Problem?

Preview — White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topicDiscuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Robin DiAngelo

Books by Robin DiAngelo

Trivia About White Fragility: ...

Quotes from White Fragility: ...

new topic
Discuss This Book