In Case I Go

by Angie Abdou

This is an alternate cover edition for ISBN 1551527030 (ISBN13: 9781551527031)

Eli’s family returns to live in their ancestral home, where he invokes the spirit, and the mistakes, of his great-great-grandfather.

Genres: Canada, Fiction

254 pages, Paperback

Published October 10, 2017

About the author

Angie Abdou was born and raised in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. She received an Honours B.A. in English from the University of Regina, an M.A. from the University of Western Ontario, and a Ph.D. from the University of Calgary. She is an Associate Professor of Creative Writing at Athabasca University. She makes her home in the Canadian Rockies along the BC/Alberta border with her two children. She has published eight books: a short story collection, four novels, a collection of essays, and two memoirs. Her first novel, The Bone Cage, was a finalist for Canada Reads 2011. The Canterbury Trail was a finalist for Banff Mountain Book of the Year and won a 2012 IPPY, Gold Medal for Canada West. In Case I Go was a finalist for a Banff Mountain Book Award in the fiction and poetry category and Chatelaine magazine called it one of the most rivetting mysteries of 2017. Her memoir, Home Ice, recieved a starred review in Booklist, which called it "a first-rate memoir and a fine example of narrative nonfiction [and] also a must-read for parents with youngsters who play organized sports."

Reviews

[Evelina | AvalinahsBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Case I Go caught my eye instantly. The blurb makes you feel like it's a book struggling with its identity – should I be a horror? A historical novel? Just a contemporary with magical realism? AND I LOVE THIS. Mixtures between genres make the best stories! If you've stumbled upon a book you can't place in a certain genre – ALWAYS GRAB IT, and that is the rule – unless you want to keep reading generic predictable stories?
(You can read this post on my blog as well.)

Eli is a ten year old boy, born prematurely, homeschooled and raised basically as a small adult. There are many problems with Eli’s family – his parents drifting apart, drinking, finding other lovers. But the biggest one of all isn't quite that. His parents just won't let Eli be a child. On the other hand, he doesn't really think or function as a child either. He's like a 40 year old, trapped in a child's body… And this is where things get interesting. Where you start wondering if things are the way they are, if Eli is who you think he is.

As Eli moves into the old family hometown his parents just moved back to, he meets Mary, a neighbour's niece. But Eli is such an unreliable narrator… After all, he's just a ten year old troubled child. We start realizing that Eli hasn't just met one Mary. He's met several… And the worst thing is that he can't tell who is who, including himself. Why does he suddenly have these strange memories of a grown up? Why does he long for a ghostly woman who, he knows, isn't quite real, isn't the same Mary he's met at the neighbours? This is where the story gets wonderfully convoluted. Not everything will be answered, but it's perfect that way. It keeps the secret.



And Eli changes. Perhaps that's why he's never been quite like a child. Perhaps that's why he was born so battered and broken that he barely survived. We learn how lives are connected in weird ways, and it's all about heritage - native American heritage, Muslim heritage, Italian, Polish… You name it. I loved how the author treated these particularities. Collision of cultures, secrets, how badly the white society messed up in dealing with anyone else that's not like them. The hurt, the racism, the severance of cultures. I loved this book for that.


(okay, so it's very hard to find a Native American GIF that's not made with Blingee!)

In the end, all I can sum this up into is that it's not horror, it's not a thriller, and yet it's also not young adult or contemporary. It's impossible to place and that's why it's beautiful. It's wistful, it's sad. It's a love song to all the souls lost in the transition of “culture”, from native to forced westernization, the loss of values. Cultural defilement of the natives.

I loved this book, but... There is only one quibble I had with it and I must mention it, but it's a detail, not much related to the story. I'll put it in a spoiler tag. There are always those things that bother me in books about women who have many men. Inexperienced women, no protection, pre-protection times even... no babies. I'm just sick and tired of that in books (and movies). Load of bull. Please stop feeding it to me. If this wasn't a problem, contraception would not be an industry. I want the media to stop telling everyone that it's not a big deal, because for a woman? It is. And we talk about it. We don't pretend it doesn't exist.

So despite that little spoiler there (which isn't really much of a spoiler), I truly and wholeheartedly recommend the story. It's very emotional, it's worth your time and empathy. I know I'd love to read something by Angie Abdou again!

I thank Angie Abdou and Arsenal Pulp Press for giving me a free copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.

Read Post On My Blog | My Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter

[Wordnerd_yyc]

*UPDATED REVIEW*

I was gifted the book by the author. At no time was it discussed that this gift came with the obligation of providing a positive review. I read the book immediately upon receiving it and did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I rated it honestly on Goodreads at 2/5. I found I couldn’t engage with the characters and the writing style was hard to follow. I was then contacted by the author, who was very offended that I rated her book so low, as she had given the book to me as a gift. I apologized for hurting her feelings and said I was unaware that receiving the book as a gift meant I was then required to provide a positive review regardless of my actual experience with the book. The author then said she had learned her lesson about providing her books as a gift to strangers and would not do so in the future. I again apologized that I had hurt her feelings and asked if she would prefer I had not rated the book at all. She curtly told me that yes, she would prefer I remove the rating. So, I have removed my rating. However, I think it’s important to share this experience in to keep true to my own principles. I think honesty matters. That being said, the author need not fear any more criticism from me as I will no longer read her work, regardless of how much I was looking forward to her next book.

[Lauren Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was honored to provide a blurb for the cover... IN CASE I GO crackles with tension, mystery, and marvel from the opening pages. Intricately structured, saturated with compassion, and with a deep understanding for how the past affects the present, this novel is sure to win Angie Abdou the wide readership she deserves.

[Elinor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not surprised that other reviewers have mentioned the difficulty in pigeonholing this novel into a specific genre, because it has aspects of contemporary and historical fiction, mystery, and even the supernatural. A little boy, raised by self-absorbed parents, is haunted by voices and images that begin to appear when the family moves back to his grandfather's cabin in a small mining town in the East Kootenay. The story unfolds in a most satisfactory way, harkening back to the days of the early settlers and their strained relationships with the indigenous people -- and how their previous interactions resonate to this day. Since I live in the region, there were lots of familiar references in this novel, which made it even more enjoyable.

[Melanie McFarlane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this a while ago and forgot to post an update. Loved this book - thought-provoking with a touch of the thrills. Just what I like.

[Steven Buechler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t help but feel that Angie has empty many bits of her soul to give us this book. The story of Eli and his parents returning to their family home is a familiar one for many of us. Yet as in many cases, that return isn’t as calming and restorative as the family had hoped. And as young Eli friends Mary, a young Ktunaxa girl, spirits begin to haunt him, making him question the past actions of his family and the longings and desires of the present-day adults around him.

https://pacifictranquility.wordpress....

[Dave Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another wonderful piece of writing by Angie. This is an amazing story, full of complex and surprising layers, emotions and spirit(s), backstopped by strong landscapes and a respectful approach to the Ktunaxa indigenous culture. A small but compelling cast of characters makes for an intimate story that had me spellbound from the first sentence. A very powerful, haunting read.

[Kristene Perron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full confession: I've never read anything by Abdou that I didn't love completely. Having said that, I love this book the most.

As always, Abdou's characters are flawed and complicated, and beautiful because of (and despite) that. I know there's been controversy over this book and my only hope is that the fracas compels more people to read it. (My even bigger hope is that people come to the story without biases but that could be asking too much).

In Case I Go is about love, forgiveness, acceptance, and responsibility. It's messy and complex and a damned fine story.

[Lisa the Tech · Rating 3 out of 5]

Half-decent characters, powerful story, but not long enough to justify more than a confident 3.5 stars. Not sure if another 50 pages of detail would have helped, but it probably would not have hindered.

[Lolly K Dandeneau · Rating 4 out of 5]

via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
“She put too much weight in little signs, that girls, and allowed herself to believe in the watery promises of the heated moments.”

In Case I Go is a unique story in that it is a haunting of sorts, a ghost story that is more slips through time and a barrage of memories of guilt, shame, and passion. Just who do those memories belong too, though? “Like you and your family, Elijah.” Mary says. “You’re an invasive species.” Over time, he will come to understand just what she means. Mary and Eli are special, but why is it Eli can hear her speak, see her when no one else can, when everyone knows Mary can’t communicate? Why does he have visions or dreams, how are they speaking this way? Nicholas and Lucy have moved to Coalton, hoping for a peaceful lull, from Lucy’s ‘moods’ from the strain in their marriage, but the mountain town and their own ancestor’s past transgressions will seek to be known through their young son, Eli. Erotic visions and encounters with Mary, a Ktunaxa neighbor, feel more real than anything else happening in the present. Dreams are blending with the waking world and Eli is too young to understand what is visited upon his soul. How can this young boy have memories of when he was a full grown man, in a time before he was even born? How is his neighbor Mary a part of this strange slip through time too?

Lucy and Nicholas have big problems, there is the drinking, the moods, the many apologies Lucy truly means but don’t make a bit of difference. Between trying to eavesdrop on his parents nightly conversations to Mary calling to him in the night, Eli is pulled into two different worlds. Surely, it’s just his imagination? Mary is confusing him with his great -great-grandfather! What had he done to Mary? What is real? With visions of blood, of fires- Eli doesn’t know anymore, and that’s terrifying.

Lucy writes letters to Eli she never sends, shamed by her poor mothering. Afraid when she recognizes herself in his expressions, revealing things far too grown up, but again- her young son will never read these musings. It’s a tender part of the novel, because the reader gets a glimpse of the inner torment Lucy feels due to her mental state. She confides the problems with her relationship with Nicholas, where did their passion go? Just what has it morphed into and is she to blame? She is still haunted by the first years of her son’s life, when he was ill. Thoughts of shame at the fleeting resentments of a life with a sickly child float around in her memories, stinging her for the selfishness. She loves her son fiercely, her strange indigo boy.

As Nicholas works in a mine, and Lucy struggles with her inner demons Elijah is tormented by the sins of his ancestor. The dead have not been well cared for, Sam’s niece is friends with Eli, the real Mary, but he pretends to talk to Mary when she isn’t even there. Sam’s Mary doesn’t speak, so how can that be? Why is Lucy so interested in Sam, when he was Eli’s friend first? Why is Mary pointing out the growing closeness between Sam and his mother? Eli doesn’t like it at all! How can Mary be two people? Why is Mary telling stories, he knows Mary is Sam’s niece, her mother was taken away. Why is she telling another sort of story that isn’t her own? Nothing makes sense, everything is tangled up in his mind.

When he is walking in the woods with the real Mary, he tells himself that other Mary is just a dream, and this is the true Mary, he is just mixing everything up. Maybe a long ago seduction that thrives through the bloodline has found it’s way to the present, is surfacing through Eli. Eli and Mary are the outlets for the source.

The quote I used moved me, there is a time in the lives of many women when they rely on the ‘watery promises of heated moments’, something that transcends ethnicity, a bond women share the whole world over, through time. Call it foolishness, youth, or naivete, many are victim to seductive moments, leaning on sour love.

This all sounds befuddled in my hands, but the writing is wonderful and the story is a lovely creation. I knew next to nothing about the Ktunaxa until I read this novel. When a development disturbs a historic graveyard, everything intensifies. It’s not about fixing the past, because you can’t, especially that of your ancestors. Yet, truth must have it’s way and stories need be told, even if through the voices of the ill remembered dead.

Publication Date: October 16, 2017

Arsenal Pulp Press

[Maddie Stach · Rating 3 out of 5]

The mystery in the story like kept me engaged but it wasn't my favorite. I did enjoy the indigenous culture references and the fact that it takes place in Canada.

[kell_xavi · Rating 3 out of 5]

In "In Case I Go," Abdou has written an intriguing story, with well-written characters, natural voices, and a full, rounded plot. She looks into the history of a people not her own by stepping into the perspective of her own history, and this approach works well: I had a good idea of both the facts and emotions of the Indigenous community represented in the text, but it didn't feel as though Abdou was taking control of their history or overstepping her bounds. It's clear that she did valuable research (and a good deal of listening and hearing) for this novel, and it's clear that she is a talented writer interested in sharing and empathy rather than ownership. The text as a whole is admirable, and it feels good to be able to say than when a plethora of artists demand the privilege of appropriation, and are so unaware of both thinking and performing in racist ways.

I read The Lovely Bones at age 13, and would have liked YA novels to be more ambitious when I fit that category, and I think teens looking for nuance and diversity in writing would be a good audience for this book.

I appreciated that the protagonist is a young boy. It allowed for him to come to other characters' stories and situations with a pretty clear slate, and build an understanding rather than remaking one. At times it did come across as odd, though. This character is placed within the history of a grown man with a sexuality and experiences that would be a strange and heavy weight on a young boy. His initial voice is captured well as the voice of a child, so it seems to be a book for younger people, but the plot line matures as other characters invade the boy's mind.

The plot focuses mainly on the present day Eli, on his mother's struggles, on Mary and Elijah in the past. The mines and desecrated lands frame the major narrative, but aren't given much attention, nor do they find a resolution. Abdou draws in difficult historical elements, and there is not easy solution to these misdeeds, but it seemed that some pieces, some awareness and commentary on historical actions and the trauma resulting from it, was lost, or we were distracted away from it, along the way.

One thing that threw me off and made me a bit uncomfortable in reading this novel was the plot point involving a white spiritualist appropriating Eastern religious rituals and practices, with positive effect. I had difficulty fitting this silencing and de-contextualizing of these cultural elements, ones which are often mis-appropriated and commercialized in Western societies, with the respect and thoughtfulness afforded to Ktunaxa peoples and beliefs, and to (grandfather) Elijah's history. I believe it was likely a case of the author either believing she was giving respectful attention, or not thinking deeply enough into the connotations of this white character and her role, but in an otherwise positive reading experience, I feel it's important to note the mistakes.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, a very powerful, intricate novel by a writer who gets better at her craft with each book. The central conceit peeks in slowly in bits starting around the middle of the book. This started life as a ghost story, but evolved in the writing into more of a spirit story. I won't repeat the book's details; you can get that in the blurb or other reviews, but it takes place in the present and the past (around WW1). The Coalton town is a fictional name for Fernie BC. There are a Syrian, whites (including a hippy healer) and Ktunaxa indigenous people. And some goats.
Abdou consulted with Ktunaxa elders and other members, including providing them the manuscript, since the story brought the band in during the writing, and she has taken some whiny flak online about that. Imagine the flak if she hadn't sought their input.

[Suzanne L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very different and moving ghost story with historic touches, related through the sensibilities of a ten year old asthmatic empath who becomes a spiritual conduit for a deceased grandparent. Themes of personal alienation, loss, and the weight of past transgressions abound, culminating in an Indigenous exorcism.
Abdou sustains a vivid lyricism, entangled with her psychologically complex characters, and creates a stunning, and must read novel. I read it in its entirety while flying from Toronto to California and was not only distracted but transfixed. She’s a wonderful writer and the novel is utterly unique.

[Anne Gafiuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being familiar with Fernie, BC where this story is set (standing in for the fictional Coalton), I was intrigued with how the author would describe the area. I felt a connection. (The structure of this ghost story, for me, was somewhat confusing: multiple stories from different perspectives often within the same chapter.)

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Case I Go is beautiful. The narrator’s voice is unique and captivating, the characters are complicated and distinct. Everyone we meet in this story is valuable. The story doesn’t ask for sympathy. “All you have to do is say YES. Yes, this happened. We can start there.” I loved it.

[Lorraine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Something for everyone, ghosts, indigenous, environment, romance, history, mystery, immigration, and more...all in one strange story set right around here. I loved it.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting, I just couldn't put it down. I heard Angie speak about her process writing this book, and it was really interesting to think of how this book changed from a genre-horror story to something a bit more ambiguous in scope. The supernatural is woven into the story in a way that feels natural for the characters, even though it was oftentimes overwhelming and even terrifying for them. I was drawn into Eli's struggle to distinguish past from present, and really felt like I was discovering the truth right alongside him. The way that Eli and Elijah collide is fascinating and provocative, and Angie doesn't shy away from tackling challenging subject matter in how the spirit of a grown man exists alongside a 10 year old boy, given the sexual themes in the narrative. It was uncomfortable at times, but in the best kind of thought-provoking way.

[Penny · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite book by Angie Abdou who has an incredible imagination to create this unique story. Eli is such a likeable character, it was hard not to keep turning the pages to find out where the ghost-like connection with his great-great grandfather would take him.

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly, this book made me feel very uncomfortable. I'm actually surprised to see there are a lot of positive ratings here.

It does have haunting and horrific imagery, especially with the scene of Mary in the bath tub. Other than that, I don't think it's worth anyone's time.

For one, Elijah, a ten year old boy, is possessed by a spirit. A very thirsty spirit if you know what I mean. It made it very uncomfortable to read as the book progressed.

I also question the notion of parenthood here. Why would they not care more about there child's illness? Or better yet, his own mental health and insecurities? Elijah's childhood insecurities are touched upon but not explored as the story becomes more about Elijah, the old ancestor, than the child himself.

Although I understand what she is trying to do, I question if there really should be no consequences for a man cheating on his wife.

[Cheyanne Zalesak · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book, and appreciate the setting. The idea that the story presents is interesting but i often times found myself feeling like i was re reading the same thing over again, despite having read another chapter. The ending felt somewhat rushed. It felt like the idea was there but the path between home and the end was missing something.
I would try to read another book by this author.

[Emily Ferko · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Charlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was kind of neat to read a story set in Fernie (at least that was what I was told).

[Maggie the Muskoka Library Mouse · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little tricky to follow with the back and forth of timeline and character perspective.

[Christa Minielly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hard to follow, interesting plot. Not sure what I learned from this book?? Mediocre if that

[Dey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book more than I did. I found an interview with Abdou in which she describes the careful ways she worked with members of the Ktunaxa Nation - I really appreciated her efforts to be respectful. That interview is an excellent class on how to avoid cultural appropriation.

The setting of the novel felt vivid to me, and I’m not one to generally notice that.

Also, this novel explores the multifaceted harms that come from being cut off from aspects of our identity - whether it’s forced by others or a ‘choice’ made to fit in to a group. That was very powerful.

2 main problems:

1) 10-year-old Eli simply isn’t clear as a character, so when he begins to lose his grip on current reality to the spirit of his great-grandfather, it’s not clear. It was too smooth of a slide. Even worse, his parents basically say, “huh, that’s not our kid,” and check out, spending time with him only when necessary.

2) While this feels like a really good effort at grappling with the legacy of the horrific treatment of First Nations peoples by White people, it stops too short. The inspiration for the book was another author saying that it was important not to feel guilty but to acknowledge what happened.

That’s certainly the FIRST step. And I understand that even that step has been a long time coming. But it’s NOT enough.

The first step in an apology is fully acknowledging the harm you’ve caused. The second step is apologizing. The third step is asking how you can make amends/reparations/right the harm. The fourth step is then following through on the amends/reparations/righting the harm OR exploring other ways for you to do that, if you cannot do what was suggested.

The ‘ghost’ who harmed others apologizes, and suddenly everything is ok. It was very unsatisfactory. And that ghost doesn’t apologize to the child whose body he has stolen/taken over.

Definitely worth reading.

[Gia · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Case I Go is a haunting tale by the exceptionally talented Canadian author Angie Abdou.

This novel skillfully blends genres, intertwining elements of a ghost story, modern and historical fiction, with a touch of mysticism that weaves throughout the narrative.

Abdou masterfully crafts a narrative centered around Eli, a young boy caught between two worlds: the fractured lives of the living who cling to him and the restless spirits of the supernatural who pursue him relentlessly. Eli's family watches in despair as his vitality is drained by the ghosts and spirits of the past. The question looms— which world will ultimately claim him?

Abdou's deep respect for Indigenous history and culture resonates throughout her writing, fostering empathy and engagement with her diverse characters while simultaneously building thought-provoking suspense. This powerful combination draws readers instinctively deeper into the story.

In Case I Go is an intriguing and intense read that I highly recommend.

All opinions expressed are my own.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

As usual I absolutely loved Angie’s latest. I love her writing and I absolutely love that each of her books is completely different not just in tone but also in genre. This is by far the spookiest she’s written yet. Once again she deals with complex issues faced by complex people. Definitely one of my go-to authors.

[Brian Borgford · Rating 5 out of 5]

A big burden for a young guy. Eli carries childhood illness and the errors of his ancestors upon his small shoulders. He gradually uncovers the source of his problems but needs help from the community to reach resolution. Well written suspense novel with a subtle ghost story looming on every page. An exciting climax with a satisfying ending.

[Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hauntingly beautiful.