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She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters

3.45  ·  Rating details ·  262 ratings  ·  94 reviews
A groundbreaking, creative new book that explores one of the most important, challenging, and fluid concepts in society today: Gender.

Gender is at the forefront of our cultural landscape today. From pronouns to politics to pop culture, people are finally finding a new freedom in the fluidity of identity. Now more than ever, it's important to understand, embrace, and intell
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published March 5th 2019 by Sourcebooks
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Average rating 3.45  · 
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 ·  262 ratings  ·  94 reviews

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Start your review of She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters
I received an ARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Reading this book was... exhausting. I did two full paths, as well as several detours where I checked out another path, and many dead-ends. In the end, I'm sure there are still chapters I haven't read (I might return to them later), but I feel like I have a good enough idea to write a review.

Here's the short version: as an information resource, this book is pretty good. As a choose-your-own-adventure book that emphasises nonbin
Bogi Takács
It is a cool idea to do a choose-your-adventure book about gender, but I found the execution really disappointing. Besides a lot of small (and sometimes not so small) inaccuracies, the book would've seriously needed more playtesting. A lot of the later entries erase the choices you make earlier on. Here are some reviews that point out specifics -

By Avery:
By Alexa:

These kinds of mistakes would be frustrating even if
May 21, 2019 rated it it was ok
This was so wildly disappointing. Given the title and cover design I was expecting a book that explores numerous different gender expressions and experiences. What I got was an extremely binary book. I took a few different paths and discovered, to great disappointment, that the bulk of the book focuses on very binary experiences. It seems designed for cisgender stories. If you try to follow a genderqueer path good luck. There is a branch where you have to pick either acceptance or rejection from ...more
Mar 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.

I got an ARC of this book.

I was really excited for this book. It is formatted in a way that I have never seen a gender book formatted before. It fit for one of the reading challenges I am doing this year and it is about gender which is one of my favorite topics. 

The book is really basic level stuff, which is nice. It does get a bit repetitive if you read it straight through, but Ryle clearly put in effort to minimize that. The book can be read straig
This is rather different from what I expected tbh.

Then again, I can’t really tell you what *exactly* I expected? I just know it wasn’t quite this.

Story time: I‘ve been questioning my gender for a while now, and I‘m nowhere near getting an answer. I thought maybe this book could offer some insight, lead to some exploration etc. A „follow your own path“-style book for gender? That’s perfect.

I think my biggest is issue was that sometimes the passages don’t quite add up. I was actually following a n
Nov 29, 2018 rated it liked it
One of the coolest things about this book is the "Choose Your Own Adventure" setup. You can read through the book following all sorts of gender paths, and there are a lot of interesting things to learn. Robyn Ryle calls out inequality and unfair treatment, how gender has been colonized, and she incorporates different beliefs surrounding gender among various cultures and throughout history. It's super interesting stuff! You can tell she's an ally who really and truly cares, and I enjoyed reading ...more
Rike @ RikeRandom
Dec 02, 2019 rated it it was ok
That became disappointing surprisingly fast …

I was really intrigued by the idea and concept of this book and it started out so good! The first steps on the path I decided to play/read through were great and informative and interesting.

But then I started wondering if there was any info about the sources used by the author. Turns out there is, but there are no footnotes or other indicators - instead at the end of the book you have a list with "notes" which lists the first three words of each rel
Avery (Book Deviant)
One of the most fascinating things about this book is the fact that it's written in a choose-your-own-adventure style, leading you through a journey unique to yourself and your choices. I was excited to take two different types of paths: the one that I wished I had taken, and the one I currently lived with. Despite being extremely excited for this book, and hoping it would be as amazing as it sounded . . . it just never lived up to the expectations. It also never lived up to what it promised.

Ally Muterspaw
In Robyn Ryle’s second book, a reader is able to "choose" their own gender journey in a world that socializes gender based on medical sex assignments. Ryle presents the reader with scenarios regarding gender assignment at birth, sexuality and dating, among other cultural conversations regarding gender. While mostly focusing on North American cultures, the book challenges the reader to recognize that gender constructs dictate how people of different races, gender presentations, and sexual orienta ...more
Michelle - Free (Read and) Write
This was a truly incredible read. Full disclaimer, the author of this book was one of my favorite professors during undergrad. I went into it expecting to like it because I like her views on the world. But it was so much more original and enjoyable than I had anticipated.

She/He/They/Me teaches the reader about the social construction of gender through a choose your own adventure style narrative (for example, choose whether you're from a country that views gender as binary, choose whether your ge
Cerys Weston (Library of Cerys)
Choose your own adventureThis is a non-fiction book like I haven't seen before. Discussing everything to do with gender - wether it's sexuality, inequality, upbringing, race - She/He/They/Me is a 'choose your own adventure' style book. Now, you may be wondering how on earth a non-fiction book could work as a choose your own adventure book, but trust me, it works.The book begins with a short overview explaining what gender is. This is only a few pages long so it doesn't get into the nitty-gritty ...more
Zahiryn Vélez Hernández
Aug 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
*I received an ARC of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

I think this book, by definition, is a textbook.

And I looove textbooks.

They might not be as fun as novels or memoirs… But there’s something enchanting about knowing that you’re reading information assembled with the intention of teaching. I know I find it downright fascinating. When I read that “She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters” was written as a choose-your-own-adventure… Well, im
Tonstant Weader
Mar 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
She/He/They/Me: For the Sisters, Misters, and Binary Resisters is a fabulous book that takes the reader on a route through the reality of social history and customs that come along with gender roles and identities. It starts by asking whether you are born in a time and place that gender exists. Your answer determines the next page you go to. My journey took me to a society where people are born with two genders. Since my gender assignment, expression, and identity are all matching, you would thi ...more
Sep 15, 2019 rated it did not like it
Well, this read was annoying. Yet, in todays day and age I think it is necessary to explain why I rated this book with only one star:
While Ryle makes some important points along the way, she fails when trying to supplement said points with empirical evidence - and I'm not saying there is no empirical evidence, I'm saying her work in this area was sloppy at best and misleading at worst. She cherry-picked most of her examples and omitted well-established evidence from numerous other fields of rese
Mar 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I have a ton of thoughts on this. I got an advanced reader's copy but it took me a bit to read. I am someone who is very informed about gender politics (at least compared to the general public) so for me there wasn't a TON of new info in here. Some of the details about cultures around the world and in the past were very interesting to me. I even learned a new term or two. Overall though, I'd say if you're already really up to your eyeballs in gender discussion, I'd say you can skip this one.

If y
Susie Dumond
Jan 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
This choose-your-own-gender-adventure is an informative and approachable way to unpack gender, sexuality, socialization, intersectionality, and identity. It's a great tool in a lot of ways - for exploring your own identity, for learning about gender in different times and places, and for putting yourself in the shoes of someone with a very different lived experience. The concept of gender can be hard to wrap your head around, and this is such a refreshingly unique way of approaching it. She/He/T ...more

I received a copy of this book from Sourcebooks as an ARC via NetGalley. The opinions expressed are my own.

An interesting concept, A Choose-Your-Own-Gender book. However, I felt this book was more about exploring the history of gender, than to help someone who was questioning their gender.

There are many facts presented as well as terminology, however I feel that this book was more theoretical as to showcasing what a chosen path would actually look like. No real life testimonials to show how
Kirsten Tattersall
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a fascinating take on teaching the concept of gender. It's presented in the form of a choose your own adventure novel which is wildly interesting in a nonfiction. For me it fell a little bit short, but it's a really interesting teaching tool.
I like choose-your-own-adventure books and this one was about genders so of course I'd be interested. I firstly picked answers from my own experiences (and learn things) and then chose other options to see what it could be. In a way this was great because there were a lot of explanations and definitions but for a book about genders, most choices were only about being a man or a woman which really put me off. But the choose-your-own-adventure was a great way to make us learn about genders, about ...more
Nov 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I received the book on NetGalley and it was a great one. It was an amazing journey, skipping backwards and forwards, depending on the answer. It was also one of the more amazing books I have read ever and very educational when it came to the topic.
Aug 08, 2019 rated it liked it
Very informative and was an interesting way to read a book with the follow your own path. If you are this, go to, if you are this go to (different chapter) until the end in reached. My husband and I read it to each other.
Jul 16, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, lgbtq
I Really enjoyed the choose your own adventure style of this book.
Orrin McPhail
Jan 08, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Really enjoyed the lag out of this boom while not a perfect way to explain gender fluidity it’s a very good way to further your understanding of different people and how they express themselves.
In real life, there are a lot of things about gender that we don't get to create. This book, however, is a "create-a-path" book, allowing you to explore how different possibilites interact in complicated, sometimes convoluted ways, to form our experiences of gender.

She/He/They/Me is a choose-your-own-adventure style non-fiction guide to gender. As far as I'm aware, this is a completely unique concept and I think it mostly pays off here. The format is a bit more inviting and invigorating tha
Liz Kay
Jul 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I'm 95% sure I read the whole thing. It's a bit difficult to keep track.

A good book for parents who "just don't get all these new categories"
May 08, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: identity, gender
Wow, this was a frustrating book to read. I was initially intrigued by the idea of "choose your own adventure" in the layout. It has a lot of interesting takes for the various ways our society is set up as binary. However, despite the image on the cover with a wide variety of identities beyond the binary---wow, did this book fail at addressing nonbinary identities in any meaningful way. The wording was also problematic, often, especially in this regard. The extreme binary language and the lack o ...more
May 02, 2019 rated it did not like it
Good-ish Feminist Lit, but not at all good Queer Theory. Accessible, sure. Ryle scatters the book with key vocab words and their definitions. There are some inequalities that are addressed, mainly between Men and Women, but Trans and Non-binary folks are, for the most part, oddly left out. Ryle tries to be inclusive of gender, race, nationality, ability, etc., but falls into some tricky language along the way. While this book is certainly *not* the only one that should inform readers on the conv ...more
Feb 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019, lgbtq-rep
The short and the long of it is this:
All in all, I'd give the research, the information, and not forgetting the original choose-your-own-path style of this book 5 stars.
The writing itself, with the pacing, the keeping my attention, and placing me within the book settings are about 4 stars.
I also felt that parts of the book neglected the style it was trying for by having all the paths lead to half-repeated or almost cut-short feeling chapters. But I can't accurately pin down how badly that bugge
Mar 25, 2019 added it
This is a super cool concept and I definitely think it could lead to really interesting conversations, especially for people who don’t regularly have to think about their gender. I have a few issues with it, namely that it is quite binary. It has some non-binary/genderqueer tracks, but after a few mentions and definitions it moves right back to the binary genders, which you then had to follow to the conclusion. I also feel like there aren’t enough paths to get to the non-binary section. Overall ...more
ARC Review: Received for free via Netgalley for an honest review. All opinions are my own.


I don't know how to feel about this one. Like I want to like it so much, but idk, it didn't happen. The way it's written focuses on either USA or some rural place that doesn't fit with where I live (which isn't really a problem, I suppose, but yah know). The options are limited and sometimes I didn't know how to answer because the options didn't fit with me. But some may like it and find it helpful, so.
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Robyn Ryle is a writer who also teaches sociology at a small liberal arts college in Indiana. Her book, THROW LIKE A GIRL, CHEER LIKE A BOY: THE EVOLUTION OF GENDER, IDENTITY, AND RACE IN SPORTS will be available in July 2020. She's also the author of SHE/HE/THEY/ME: FOR THE SISTERS, MISTERS AND BINARY RESISTERS and a sociology of gender textbook, QUESTIONING GENDER: A SOCIOLOGICAL EXPLORATION, in ...more

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